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/sci/ - Science & Math

File: 64 KB, 646x536, carl_sagan.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Anonymous Fri Feb 18 07:07:02 2011 No.2558098 [Reply] [Original]

So, how about a scientific joke/pun thread

Mine's pretty bad but here I go...

>So son, have you thought about college yet?
>Yeah Dad! I think I'm going to take an astronomy major and then get an ursa minor!

>>	Anonymous Fri Feb 18 07:10:02 2011 No.2558105 4 / 0 = 2

>>	Anonymous Fri Feb 18 07:11:02 2011 No.2558106 >To create an apple pie from scratch >You must first create the universe

>>	Anonymous Fri Feb 18 07:12:02 2011 No.2558111 >>2558106 I thought we were making jokes here

>>	Anonymous Fri Feb 18 07:12:02 2011 No.2558109 >>2558098 Bill o'Reilly http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nt5Xn9X6xtU&feature=related Hes the man

>>	Anonymous Fri Feb 18 07:15:02 2011 No.2558119 >>2558109 >no explanation of how the planet got here I don't know how you could say something like that and have somepeople believe you're still intelligent.

>>	Anonymous Fri Feb 18 07:19:02 2011 No.2558124 >>2558109 >Stephen Hawking >Can't explanation of Earth's origin >A Brief History of Time >Over 10 million sales

>>	Anonymous Fri Feb 18 07:20:02 2011 No.2558128 To get to the other side.

>>	Anonymous Fri Feb 18 07:21:02 2011 No.2558130 Why did the tachyon cross the road?

>>	Anonymous Fri Feb 18 07:22:02 2011 No.2558134 >>2558130 I see what you did thur.

>>	Anonymous Fri Feb 18 07:23:02 2011 No.2558137 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yx3XmlR7XKA&feature=related Why are american so stupid.

>>	Anonymous Fri Feb 18 07:27:02 2011 No.2558141 >>2558130 Why did Jimmy cross the road? He didnt he has polio.

>>	Anonymous Fri Feb 18 07:33:02 2011 No.2558152 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSgiXGELjbc

>>	Anonymous Fri Feb 18 07:54:02 2011 No.2558192 >>2558111 That's why he said something so stupid it's funny

>>	Anonymous Fri Feb 18 07:55:02 2011 No.2558199 >>2558192 uh it's neither stupid or funny. If you want to make an apple pie from scratch you MUST first create the universe, that's a fact.

>>	Anonymous Fri Feb 18 07:58:02 2011 No.2558212 there was this one joke about some gas like xenon or whatever and he comes into a bar and the bartender says something and the gas doesnt react to his statment. it cracked my up but i dont remember it. so /r/equesting the joke

>>	Anonymous Fri Feb 18 07:59:02 2011 No.2558219 >>2558199 Prove it.

>>	Anonymous Fri Feb 18 08:02:02 2011 No.2558225 A Helium atom walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says: "We don't serve inert gases here". The Helium atom doesn't react.

>>	Anonymous Fri Feb 18 08:02:02 2011 No.2558226 If there is not universe then there are not apples

Anonymous Fri Feb 18 08:06:02 2011 No.2558239

>>2558212
Helium walks in to a bar. The bartender says "look, we don't serve noble gases here, you're going to have to go somewhere else." Helium doesn't react.

A superconductor walks into a bar. The bartender says "we don't serve superconductors here." The superconductor doesn't put up any resistance.

A higgs-boson walks into a church. The priest says "higgs-bosons aren't allowed in here." The higgs-boson says "but without me, how can you have mass?"

>>2558219
In order to truly make something "from scratch" as in, from ingredients that have not been pre-prepared, you would have to create the universe, because everything in this universe already exists, and therefore you wouldn't be making it "from scratch."

>>	Anonymous Fri Feb 18 08:06:02 2011 No.2558240 >>2558242 IT WORKED!!!

>>	Anonymous Fri Feb 18 08:07:02 2011 No.2558243 brb testing time machine

>>	Anonymous Fri Feb 18 08:09:02 2011 No.2558249 >>2558240 >>2558242 >>2558243 You went back in time to warn someone about microwave dinners?

>>	Anonymous Fri Feb 18 08:12:02 2011 No.2558259 This guy tells lies. >>2558259

>>	Anonymous Fri Feb 18 08:19:02 2011 No.2558279 >>2558259 oh u

>>	Anonymous Fri Feb 18 08:20:02 2011 No.2558280 >>2558226 The universe already exists, there is no need to make one in order to bake an apple pie. Such a statement is even more retarded than a belief in god as it is easily proved wrong

>>	Anonymous Fri Feb 18 08:23:02 2011 No.2558285 >>25582885 This one as well

>>	EK !EKFQOBUFnQ Fri Feb 18 08:30:02 2011 No.2558299 File: 63 KB, 600x450, notcool.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>2558285

Anonymous Fri Feb 18 08:30:02 2011 No.2558300

>>2558280
No. The universe already exists, so all of the ingredients are "prepared" therefore the pie is not truly from scratch. In order to make an apple pie from scratch, that is, from "nothing" you have to first create a new universe.

I agreed with you completely for a long time, and then I finally stopped being a complete and utter retard and understood what he was trying to say.

Anonymous Fri Feb 18 08:36:02 2011 No.2558312

>>2558300

>You must first create the universe
>You

No you don't, if you did there would be universes all over the place.
You don't need to plant an apple tree to get apples, someone did but you did not.

If you want poorly worded self indulgent claptrap then go to >>>/lit/

>>	Anonymous Fri Feb 18 08:46:02 2011 No.2558331 The Tachyon leaves. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve Tachyons here". A Tachyon enters a bar.

Anonymous Fri Feb 18 08:49:02 2011 No.2558340

>>2558312
>poorly worded self indulgent claptrap
Well, I don't know, I think you described your own posts pretty nicely there. Its a simple concept. Its obvious that it is beyond your grasp, so I'm done trying to explain it.

Suffice to say, you are certainly not superior to one of the greatest minds of the last century, and you should stop with the silly illusion that you are.

>>	Anonymous Fri Feb 18 08:51:02 2011 No.2558346 File: 64 KB, 481x314, 1291224151573.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>2558340 >Drug addict says something retarded >Other drug addicts worship him

>>	Anonymous Fri Feb 18 08:54:02 2011 No.2558358 >>2558358 To get to the other side.

>>	Anonymous Fri Feb 18 08:59:02 2011 No.2558376 >>2558340 Dude, Carl is damn near my role model, but he was hardly "one of the greatest minds of the last century". He was simply a secular humanist who got a lot of air time and who had a Morgan Freeman level voice.

>>	Anonymous Fri Feb 18 09:01:02 2011 No.2558379 >>2558312 Somehow I don't think you understand what Sagan was getting at.

>>	Anonymous Fri Feb 18 09:01:02 2011 No.2558381 >>2558376 He did some great work but his voice was so grating that I couldn't make it 10 min into cosmos, I took the book out from the library instead

>>	Anonymous Fri Feb 18 09:05:02 2011 No.2558386 >>2558379 He was trying to say something deep but ended up saying something DEEP

>>	Anonymous Fri Feb 18 09:05:02 2011 No.2558388 >>2558381 I like his voice, I find it soothing.

>>	Anonymous Fri Feb 18 09:09:02 2011 No.2558394 File: 10 KB, 235x360, matrix8.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>2558388 im glad you like it

Anonymous Fri Feb 18 09:15:02 2011 No.2558409

>>2558376
It takes a great mind to distill complex subjects in to a format that simple minds can easily understand. He may not have been great for his discoveries or the uniqueness of his insights, but he was great for his ability to convey his insights and explain discoveries to those who would have never understood them otherwise.

I personally believe, like Sagan did, that the dissemination of knowledge and understanding of knowledge is vitally important to humanity, and so I call him great for taking up a role that is too often overlooked in the scientific community: a liaison between the academic and the popular.

>>	Anonymous Fri Feb 18 09:23:02 2011 No.2558418 >>2558409 So he was a pop scientist like michio kaku

>>	Inurdaes !V1sPhobos. Fri Feb 18 09:25:02 2011 No.2558423 >>2558418 Nigguh have you ever watched Cosmos?

>>	Anonymous Fri Feb 18 09:27:02 2011 No.2558425 >>2558418 Nah, Michio is about 100x more naively optimistic than Sagan was, and damn is that saying something. Sagan was also far less into obviously bullshit science like String theory.

Anonymous Fri Feb 18 09:31:02 2011 No.2558435

>>2558409
this.

if it wasn't for people like Sagan, then the retarded politicians who vote to fund scientific research would look there first when there is a budget shortfall.
most of them don't understand it, and neither do 90% of the people who voted them into office.
these are the people that would rather cut research grants than vote for a bill to make churches pay income tax.

>>	Anonymous Fri Feb 18 09:45:02 2011 No.2558460 >>2558425 7 dimensional strings in 11 dimensional space vibrating in 4 dimensions with my -5 dimensional cock

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