/sci/ - Science & Math

[Anonymous No.2487366]

Hey /sci/,

give me your best science jokes
Here are some starters

Helium walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve noble gases here."

Helium doesn't react.


To get to the other side.


Why did the tachyon cross the road?


A neutrino walks into a bar. The bartender says "we don't serve neutrinos in here." The neutrino says "I was just passing through."
Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar and doesn't.


Go!

[Anonymous No.2487376]

What is the integral of dcabin/cabin?

[Anonymous No.2487375]

A neutron walks into a bar and the bartender hands him a drink.
The neutron says, "how much is it?"

"For you? No charge."

[Anonymous No.2487383]

>>2487376

get out

[Anonymous No.2487396]

I walk into a bar full of maths.
I do a 360 and walk out. Fuck math.

[Anonymous No.2487406]

A neutron walks into a bar and orders a beer.
He asks the bartender how much.
"For you, no charge"

[Anonymous No.2487412]

>>2487366
those are actually funny. does that make me a proxy virgin?

[Anonymous No.2487424]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bJGItzuFkEM

[Anonymous No.2487428]

>>2487383
Why the hostility?

[Anonymous No.2487432]

>>2487396
>I do a 360 and walk out
You continue walking through the bar and out the other side? I'm not sure whether this is a joke or not.

[Anonymous No.2487439]

Infinite mathematicians walk into a bar.
The first mathematician says "I'll have a beer."
The second mathematician says "I'll have half a beer."
The third mathematician says "I'll have a quarter of a beer."
The fourth mathematician says "I'll have an eighth of a beer."
The bartender says "That's enough out of you," and he pours them two beers.

[Anonymous No.2487440]

>>2487396
>I do a 360 and walk out, fuck math.

[Anonymous No.2487442]

>>2487432
He spun in place and moonwalked out like Michael Jackson.

[Anonymous No.2487445]

>>2487432
i'm probably being reverse trolled

[Anonymous No.2487448]

An infinite number of mathematicians, a polar bear, helium, and a neutrino walk into a bar (ouch). One of the mathematicians then says, "the bar is now empty" and they begin to play hide and seek. The neutrino is then stopped by a police officer. Officer Heisenberg says, "Do you know how fast you were going back there?" The neutrino replies, "I'm positive and a pascal but I don't know where I am." The bar tender then says "You're all idiots, the cows are all black" and pours 10 (in base 2, i mean 10) drinks and there is an extra dollar. The polar bear then dissolves in water while the helium does not react.
/thread

[Anonymous No.2487459]

why did the chicken cross the möbius strip?
because it wanted to go to the same side

[Anonymous No.2487473]

>>2487448

[Anonymous No.2487475]

>>2487432

>previous-record-holder

[Anonymous No.2487504]

>>2487439
lol I gets it becuse (1)/(1-1/2)=2 I so samrt.

[Anonymous No.2487519]

>>2487440
>>2487432

[Anonymous No.2487526]

Q: How many theoretical physicists specializing in general relativity does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to hold the bulb and one to rotate the universe.

[Anonymous No.2487550]

>>2487376
A houseboat! I've seen that one before.

[Anonymous No.2487558]

>>2487504
Not sure if troll, but anyway:

It's a sum of infinite mathematical series in which every n-th element is equal to half of the (n-1)-th element.

[Anonymous No.2487559]

How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?


0.999999...

[Anonymous No.2487574]

>>2487559
I like that one!

[Anonymous No.2487575]

A graviton walks into a bar, everyone follows.

[poorengineer No.2487738]

mothafuckin bump

[Anonymous No.2487754]

Your momma's so fat...something to do with kurtosis...

...fuck you...

[Anonymous No.2487818]

>>2487754

[poorengineer No.2487827]

>>2487818
>>2487818

[Anonymous No.2488546]

>>2487376
log(cabin)+C

[Anonymous No.2488566]

>>2488568
It orders a drink