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/sci/ - Science & Math

File: 8 KB, 195x258, dolphin.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Anonymous Thu Jan 13 13:14:27 2011 No.2342422 [Reply] [Original]

Scientists say dolphins should be treated as 'non-human persons'

are dolphins bros?

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/science/article6973994.ece

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 13 13:17:27 2011 No.2342437 >>2342422 Do they consider monkeys "non-human persons"? Chimpanzees are the true bros.

pascal !n5Z3VuZapw Thu Jan 13 13:18:27 2011 No.2342444

I once had dolphins swimming by my boat. So I stopped the motor. And they just circled. So I decided to jump in. Then the dolphins swam away, so I started the boat back up, and a few minutes later they were back. And the cycle repeated itself many times that afternoon.

I wish I had had a ball with mr, I would have tried playing catch instead.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 13 13:19:27 2011 No.2342449 >>2342444 thats awesome. >>2342422 hell yes they are >>2342437 chimps are bros too

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 13 13:20:27 2011 No.2342450 > are dolphins bros? yes

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 13 13:21:27 2011 No.2342458 That reminds me that time (was it on /tg/ ?) when some anon explained us the specifics on how to have sex with a dolphin.

>>	pascal !n5Z3VuZapw Thu Jan 13 13:25:27 2011 No.2342469 >>2342458 When you pet a dolphin, they say not to touch the belly, a belly pat indicates you want to have sex, and apparently dolphins love sex.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 13 13:26:27 2011 No.2342472 >>2342444 They just wanted to see if you have something to throw them to eat.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 13 13:27:27 2011 No.2342481 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7EUbZdIzA30 related

Anonymous Thu Jan 13 13:27:27 2011 No.2342482

Dolphins may be smart, almost like us, but like us, they aren't bros.
Think about it. Are most of humanity your bros?

No. The unfamiliar have just as likelihood of raping, mugging, or killing you as they are of befriending you.

Add to that that dolphins are probably racist against us due to us killing them accidentally in fishing nets.

Dolphins have been known to kill humans for a variety of reasons, but they've also been known to help humans as well, saving drowning swimmers or driving away hungry sharks.

They also gangrape other dolphins and kill for sport. Just like humans.

In summation, Dolphins are not reliable, so they cannot be bros. Until we have a meaningful, complex way to communicate with dolphins that will allow them to express their feelings, emotions, and opinions, we cannot call them bros.

>>	pascal !n5Z3VuZapw Thu Jan 13 13:29:27 2011 No.2342490 >>2342472 Next time I'll share a beer.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 13 13:30:27 2011 No.2342493 File: 26 KB, 756x305, eeeeeee.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] pic related

Anonymous Thu Jan 13 13:30:27 2011 No.2342496
File: 1.99 MB, 391x237, remiq.net_17747.jpg.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>2342482
So under that logic, NO humans can be 'bros'? You said some dolphins do help other humans, so they can be 'bros', just not all of them (same goes for humans).

Anonymous Thu Jan 13 13:31:27 2011 No.2342500
File: 10 KB, 640x352, Eff2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>2342469

That makes a lot of those animal documentaries* really suspicious in retrospective.

*A really novel concept, we used to have them back in the day. Footage of animals in the wild juxtaposed with explanatory commentary in the context of an educational narrative. Child born in the 90's - to your comprehension, the closest thing will be a reality show.

>>	pascal !n5Z3VuZapw Thu Jan 13 13:32:27 2011 No.2342502 >>2342482 I once heard about a dolphin in a zoo, that would drown seagulls, and trade the corpse for fish.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 13 13:33:27 2011 No.2342508 Anthropologists say niggers should be treated as 'non-human persons' are niggers bros? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SgJfLjlS5sQ

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 13 13:35:27 2011 No.2342513 >>2342508 Alright, let's not get ahead of ourselves. One step at a time. I'm still far from decided about this dolphin issue.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 13 13:35:27 2011 No.2342516 >>2342422 >'non-human persons' that concept gives me a mindfuck. we must be able to communicate with them or somehow figure out what their language means in order to know for sure if they can be considered persons.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 13 13:37:27 2011 No.2342518 File: 81 KB, 310x310, 128130040138111.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] fucking Japanese are still massacring them in the most brutal fashion

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 13 13:39:27 2011 No.2342528 >>2342422 >should be ahahahaha...sweet

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 13 13:39:27 2011 No.2342530 >>2342518 So just because they look cute we shouldn't eat them? Get out Petafag.

Anonymous Thu Jan 13 13:39:27 2011 No.2342532

>>2342496
You don't get it, obviously. If some are bros and some are not, it is wrong to call the entire species "bros".

With humans, it is possible to use language, whether verbal or nonverbal to discern whether they have imminent hostile intent.

This is not so with Dolphins. A dolphin swimming towards you has the same stupid smile on his face whether he's just coming over to hang out or to ram your heart until it stops.

Because of this ambiguity, it is problematic to treat dolphins as potential bros. Rather, we should be wary of dolphins.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 13 13:41:27 2011 No.2342541 >>2342530 No, because they are sentient, sapient beings just like us.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 13 13:42:27 2011 No.2342547 File: 47 KB, 430x323, hiroshima.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>2342530 just because they're yellow we shouldn't nuke them? get out japfag

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 13 13:43:27 2011 No.2342548 >>2342541 see >>2342481 A one year old is smarter than dolphins.

Anonymous Thu Jan 13 13:43:27 2011 No.2342551

>>2342532

>Dolphins
>Clearly a bizarre sense of humor
>Not burdened by morality
>Clearly more fun and unpredictable

>Humans
>Predictable, safe sense of humor, largely based on whether other people will laugh or not and not on whether what they're doing is genuinely funny
>Burdened by morality
>Boring, predictable

I know who my bros are. Take care landlubber, I hope you find at least some approximation of joy in your miserable life.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 13 13:43:27 2011 No.2342552 File: 185 KB, 580x384, orangutans.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] fuck dolphins and chimpanzees. they are as violent as blacks. pic related: the true bros

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 13 13:44:27 2011 No.2342553 >>2342532 That "smile" is not an expression, it's due to the shape of their heads. Dolphins use nonverbal cues just like we do, it's just more difficult for a human to read a dolphin's body language. Because, you know, it's a fucking dolphin.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 13 13:44:27 2011 No.2342557 >>2342548 A one year old doesn't recognize itself in the mirror

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 13 13:45:27 2011 No.2342563 >>2342551 Enjoy your death when your "unpredictable" bro rapes you to death because it's funny.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 13 13:47:27 2011 No.2342568 >>2342563 on a related note, I would definitely fuck a human-dolphin crossbreed.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 13 13:50:27 2011 No.2342588 >>2342553 No shit, I thought that was obviously implied by my statement. I guess you're too dense. Unless we know how to interpret dolphin language (verbal and nonverbal) like we do a human language we can't ascertain their intentions.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 13 13:51:27 2011 No.2342589 >>2342568 CLEANSE. PURGE. KILL. Totally with ya there bro.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 13 13:54:27 2011 No.2342614 >>2342552 i think thats the first time ive seen a nigger with down syndrome

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 13 13:55:27 2011 No.2342619 >>2342563 Enjoy your death when your predictable bro bores you to death because it's unfunny.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 13 13:56:27 2011 No.2342624 >>2342481 Jesus Christ, this show is fucking obnoxious. I'd rather live my entire life locked in a cage with a fundie Christian dolphin fucker than spend a day with one of these two.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 13 13:59:27 2011 No.2342632 >>2342568 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBtJn0tEnXo The first story should be something for you.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 13 14:00:27 2011 No.2342638 >>2342624 their ad hominems are designed to impress ignorant rednecks

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 13 14:00:27 2011 No.2342643 >>2342619 >implying humanity isn't unpredictable enough to be funny >implying boredom can kill you

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 13 14:03:27 2011 No.2342650 File: 14 KB, 347x238, untitled.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>2342624 You sure you'd ever emerge from that cage again brah?

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 13 14:04:27 2011 No.2342655 >>2342568 I would definitely fuck a dolphin. As long as it doesn't entail drowning.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 13 14:04:27 2011 No.2342660 >>2342568 on a related note, I would definitely fuck.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 13 14:06:27 2011 No.2342668 >>2342643 Explain to me why your words hurt so much then.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 13 14:10:27 2011 No.2342693 I heard that dolphin vaginas are capable of massaging your dick and stuff like that while you're inside them. Is this true?

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 13 14:13:27 2011 No.2342707 File: 91 KB, 534x601, herp.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>2342693 Only one way to find out.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 13 14:13:27 2011 No.2342712 >>2342693 Yeah, it's called sex.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 13 14:14:27 2011 No.2342714 File: 123 KB, 640x480, dumb fuck.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] dolphin porn anyone?

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 13 14:22:27 2011 No.2342756 File: 73 KB, 400x300, jewfin.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>2342568

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 13 14:23:27 2011 No.2342761 File: 168 KB, 704x400, cry.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >mfw this thread

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 13 14:24:27 2011 No.2342767 Every animal is a bro, OP. Except for those fucking mosquitos.

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 13 15:49:27 2011 No.2343138 >>2342761 u sad brah

>>	Anonymous Thu Jan 13 15:55:27 2011 No.2343175 File: 9 KB, 300x348, 1283177578487.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pz4Znr34be4 Fuck yeah dolphins Clearly the masters of this planet

Anonymous Thu Jan 13 16:54:27 2011 No.2343473

>"Rights and responsibilities go together and I've yet to see a chimp imprisoned for stealing a banana because they don't have a moral sense of what's right and wrong. To give them rights is to give them something without asking for anything in return."

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