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/sci/ - Science & Math

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1947592 No.1947592 [Reply] [Original]

Do dolphins have a religion?

>> No.1947596

They're too smart for religion.

>> No.1947611

>>1947596
Even American dolphins?

>> No.1947636

They believe in jesus, that's why they're so happy.

>> No.1947634

>>1947611
Yes, even American dolphins.

>> No.1947641
File: 73 KB, 350x269, peabodyshistory.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1947641

>>1947634
Wow!!!

>> No.1947640

What about Canadian dolphins?

>> No.1947662

I wanna smoke weed w/ a dolphin.

>> No.1947663

Love is they're religion.

>> No.1947681

>>1947663
Wrong, they are vicious killing machines.

>> No.1947685

I'd fuck a dolphin.

>> No.1947691

they are the wolves of the sea

fucking intelligent murderers

orcas are fucking worse

no love for the beasts

>> No.1947696

>>1947691
Maybe we just pissed them off by being assholes to them.

>> No.1947723

>>1947696
Being assholes? We're doing EXACTLY what any other animal would do if given the chance. When you're at the top of the food chain, you dominate... we just happened to win evolution. The animals aren't pissed so much as jealous.

>> No.1947733

>>1947723
haha yeah we did win but think if god is testing all his creatures to live in harmony and all of them fail we all go to hell. in the name of the father the son and the holy dolphin

>> No.1947736

>>1947723
You are why all the dolphins in the world are trying to unite into a giant dolphin army.

>> No.1947738
File: 61 KB, 750x600, Dolphin.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1947738

>>1947685

>> No.1947755

>>1947640
Discordians.

>> No.1947772

>>1947738
Look at how fucking happy that dolphin is.

>> No.1947894

>>1947738
I would LOVE to fuck a dolphin... I don't even think it's considered beastiality, is it?

>> No.1947895

>>1947894
Not if the dolphin consents.

>> No.1947905

of course. atheists dont have that confident smile.

>> No.1948052

>>1947905
Dolphins are communists.

>> No.1948092

>>1947738
Fun fact: Dolphins are the only known species that fucks just for pleasure (apart from humans of course).

>> No.1948110

Given that dolphins spend most of their time raping human swimmers, rescuing human swimmers, killing porpoises because they look like lumpy retarded dolphins and playing around with sponges, sticks and bubble rings....

I'd say they're more like us than any of the other ape species.

>> No.1948115

>>1948110
My god, porpoises are just such fucking faggots. Who the fuck even likes porpoises? Shittiest whale IMO.

>> No.1948120

my philosopher friend is dead set on thinking dolphins have philosophy.

>> No.1948122

>>1947592

I'm not even trolling.

I think dolphins are the most sexually attractive animals (next to humans of course)

Honestly dolphins are more sexually attractive than a lot of human girls. I hope I'm not the only one with this sick fetish

>> No.1948126
File: 14 KB, 283x348, dolphin.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1948126

>>1948115

Nobody. Nobody likes porpoises. Dolphins gather around them and take turns nose-punching them to death while the rest laugh.

Btw, dolphins are bros. SUCH bros. Evidence:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hq7nHw1v6YY#t=0m13
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TMCf7SNUb-Q
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P047R7odzUo

>> No.1948135

>>1948120
Well what the fuck do you think they argue about all day when they're bored of fishing and fucking up porpoises? They probably also have a developed culture of bro-codes, like, "Is it okay to fuck a lady dolphin that your bro dolphin is fucking."

>> No.1948143

Why isn't there more research being done on dolphin intelligence? The most recent results suggested human equivalent intelligence. Could that be problematic for those who make a living hunting dolphins?

>> No.1949245

>>1948143
>The most recent results suggested human equivalent intelligence.

Actually dolphins are smarter than humans.

>> No.1949250

>>1949245

Incorrect, tests show an average IQ of 85-90.

>> No.1949259

>>1948143
We must give them mechanical limbs and organs for speaking and get them out of the water into cities.

>> No.1949263

>>1949250
>implying IQ has anything to do with intelligence

>> No.1949267

>>1947738

holy shit i've seen everything

>> No.1949273

>>1949263

>>Implying it doesn't

>> No.1949288

>>1949273
>implying it does

>> No.1949300

>>1949273
Not implying, stating outright: IQ doesn't have anything to do with intelligence.

>> No.1949301

>>1949288

>>Implying you don't believe this mainly because you test poorly
>>Implying you won't claim to have tested very high but that you consider it a meaningless measure of intelligence anyway because you're enlightened like that
>>Implying that's not completely transparent

>> No.1949309

>>1949301
I actually didn't test. You, sir, fail very hard. I think you're butthurt because most dolphins are smarter than you.

>> No.1949315

>>1949309

>>I actually didn't test.

>>Implying that's not completely transparent

>> No.1949328

>>1949315
But it's true, bro. I really didn't test. I don't know why you're being purposely offensive, especially when you give a wrong interpretation of my opinion. Why are you afraid that dolphins might be smarter than humans? They're just dolphins, bro. No one cares.

>> No.1949337

take the bickering somewhere else.

back to dolphins, they use sonar to find where the unprotected organs are, then they attack there

>> No.1949339

>>1949337
They also communicate through ultrasonic sound. They also fuck just for its pleasure (great sign of intelligence).

>> No.1949347
File: 23 KB, 120x91, implying.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1949347

>>1949315
>>1949301
>>1949288
>>1949273
>>1949263
>implying implications

>> No.1949490
File: 212 KB, 1600x1067, 1287861237001.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1949490

>>1949339
>They also fuck just for its pleasure

Isn't that what all animals do? You'd have to show that they know that their "recreational" fucking will not result in any offspring.

>> No.1949521

>>1949490

>Assumptions and implications

>> No.1949524

Did you guys know dolphins OWN sharks in combat? They back up, swim full speed and bump the sharks stomach which causes massive damage to its internal organs.

I thought dolphins were pussies of the sea until I read this and it was in an academic paper no less.

>> No.1949543
File: 12 KB, 160x269, EchoTheDolphin_USBOX_SegaCD022005boxart_160w.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1949543

>>1949524
>has never played ecco the dolphin

>> No.1949555

>>1949490

I completely agree...

Some stupid idiot or probably a scientist idiot made that crazy claim without any evidence as far as I know...

the claim humans, pigs (and perhaps cats, dolphins and one or two species of primate)....However, Science cannot say at present conclusively what animals do or do not find "pleasurable", a question considered in more depth under Emotion in animals. (wikipedia)

So stop passing along this stupid myth and read something that makes you smart...

I have to agree... dolphins are considered to be really smart but I am pretty sure we are still smarter than them... unless you have follow some weird Hitchhikers guide to galaxy religion.

>> No.1949571

>>1948110
>dolphins
>raping human swimmers
Beg pardon?

>> No.1949573

>>1949524
could a Dolphin beat Jaws the shark?
my biology teacher told me it would take 2 free willies to beat 1 jaws

>> No.1949595

>>1949573

>mfw you just unwittingly revealed you were in special education

>> No.1949601

>>1949571

Yup, saving your life has a price, no free lunch in nature.

In this case the price is a dolphindick gangbang.

>> No.1949604
File: 304 KB, 185x136, gif (88).gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1949604

>>1949595

>mfw
>no face

< mfw

>> No.1949611

>>1949595
>takes the most obvious troll post seriously
>says mfw and posts no picture

>> No.1949615

Has the mfw gone through a double reversal and no one sent me a memo?

>> No.1949624
File: 9 KB, 210x251, 1286483702041.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1949624

>>1949595

Here bro, you dropped this.

>> No.1949628
File: 47 KB, 550x436, white knight.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1949628

>>1949601

It's kind of like Whiteknighting. Except the white knights actually get pussy in the end, whether you like it or not.

>> No.1949648

>>1949521
>mfw so many animals have been caught masturbating. Captcha true: woolet.

>> No.1949704
File: 175 KB, 824x1350, US states average IQ.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1949704

>>1949250

That's better than the average IQ of Mississippi.

>> No.1949713

>>1949571
Dolphin sex + humans
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lz0yMcJDwIw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xRicmYXmDhg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UaXYrUeZP7A
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLTx-LZX3XM

well, sort of

>> No.1949724

How to fuck a dolphin
http://www.insolitology.com/guides/fuckdolphin.htm

Sometimes you just need to be in the right place at the right time. I have been extremely lucky on two occasions with wild dolphins, and my current mate is a dolphin who lives in the harbor of my resident city.

>> No.1949730

Dodgy dolphin sparks sex in the surf fears

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/12/08/2765057.htm
About six months ago his mood changed; he began getting a bit aggressive and started liking human ladies a little too much.

He was in trouble for refusing to let a female swimmer go back to shore because he had not finished playing with her. The exhausted woman thought she was going to drown.

>> No.1949731

>>1949724
>>1949713

Why are you doing this

I don't want to develop a dolphin fetish

>> No.1949743
File: 73 KB, 500x375, alexdolphinhugp.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1949743

>>1949731
what?

>> No.1949749
File: 18 KB, 517x347, ngbbs47e5631337ce5.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1949749

>>1949731
you know you want to

captcha: much roubity

>> No.1949752

>>1949749

[why.jpg]

>> No.1949762

>>1947681
that's just rape gon wrong

rape is based on love... isn't it?

>> No.1949764

>>1949762

>>rape is based on love... isn't it?

Sure. Love of rapin'.

>> No.1950125

>>1949749
That's sick. I would only fuck a live dolphin in the water, anything else is cruel and wrong.

>> No.1950207
File: 31 KB, 560x373, 117336507889512.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1950207

Dolphins and whales are likely the smartest animals on earth. As a ratio of body weight to brain weight. Humans have the largest brain. Except for dolphins and whales. As a proportion of body mass to brain mass their brains are 3x the size of a humans.

>> No.1950221

>>1950207
>pic awfuly related.
;_;

>> No.1950217

>>1950207
but a lot of that mass is a certain kind of fat cell to make the brain not fuck up when it's super cold

>> No.1950911

bump