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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/sci/ - Science & Math

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File: 140 KB, 750x500, Horseshoe-Crab.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1652150 No.1652150 [Reply] [Original]

Hey faggots.

I am a horse shoe crab, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded chordates with non-copper based, red blood, who spend every second of the day being mammals. You are everything bad with Animalia. Honestly, have you ever gotten any eggs? I mean, I guess it's fun to making fun of anthropods because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than trying to be a Paguroidea.

Don't be a stranger, just harvest my blood with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. My species has been around for 500 million years, we've got blue, easily clotting blood, and we have exoskeletons. What other benthic invertebrates do you eat, other than "scallops". I also get fed everyday, and have a smoking hot mate (she just laid eggs and let me fertilize them, shit was SO cash). You are all primates who should just kill themselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic related: It's me on vacation in the Pacific. You jelly?

>> No.1652161

I admit, I lol'd

>> No.1652171

creative "John" parody is creative

>> No.1652184

haha. loved this OP

i <3 the horseshoe crab. its like a huge walking helmet thing.

>> No.1652197

>I'm pretty much perfect. My species has been around for 500 million

Such truer words were never spoken.

>> No.1652205

ha copper based blood
we'll see how good it serves you when you get tired much faster that the iron based red blooded predator chasing you

>> No.1652211

>>1652205
>implying that my blood wouldn't clot almost instantly, warding off infection while I go back into the ocean, where haters can hate, but they can't get get me

>> No.1652229

>You jelly?
Every fucking time i hear someone say that it pisses me off.

>> No.1652230

Sooo creepy and scary, but so interesting. Flip them upside down and they got all those claws just waiting to grab your face and eat it. =O

>> No.1652236

>>1652229
u mad?

>> No.1652241

>>1652211
unless...
its a dolphin or a biologist chasing you when your on the beach trying to reproduce

there's a reason we know so much about that blood o' yours

>> No.1652242

>>1652229
lolwhyujellytho

>> No.1652255

>>1652241
yeah, well you know what, it's kinda fucking hard to evolve to be bipedal when youre in the FUCKING OCEAN!!! plus, with the economy the way it is, I can't afford to evolve right now. I need another 200 spore points before I can be a biped

>> No.1652264 [DELETED] 

>>1652255
>spore
>mfw

>> No.1652275
File: 4 KB, 95x133, PBFQuickpeople.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1652275

>>1652264
There's no face.

>> No.1652293

>>1652255
excuses..
admit it 500million years your stuck in a rut just like bon jovi so please just move on
and preferably kill Jon Bon Jovi too that would be nice who knows it might get you enough spore points for some wings

>> No.1652317
File: 62 KB, 423x317, HorseshoeCrab.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1652317

hey crab, i found your wife, the rest of her is in the toilet

>> No.1652325

>>1652293
>disturbing image of a beach full of horseshoe crabs getting it on to the tune of "You Give Love a Bad Name"

>> No.1652350

>>1652317
You son of bitch I'll fucking kill you!

>> No.1652402

>"So Cash" thread on front page
>Has the most to do with science than all the other bullshit threads
lol, /sci/, not sure if dissappoint

>> No.1652556
File: 175 KB, 499x484, almost laughing face.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1652556

>>1652150

Well done OP

>> No.1652574

That's awesome, OP. Thanks.

>> No.1652616

We beat you in lond distance runing.

>> No.1652623

I hate horseshoe crabs

when I was ten I was joyously romping through the waves when perchance my foot met one of these bastards tails

fuck you, sir

>> No.1652634

LOL *facepalm*

>> No.1652638

...But we do have eggs. They're internal and develop inside the womb.

Sorry, crabby my mate. If you're gonna try and diss me, then at least do it right.

Send my bests to your cousin, the sea spider.

>> No.1652775

>>1652623
well fuck you too

>> No.1652787

>>1652638
Oh, well I'm sorry I don't know about your overly-complex reproductive organs. Shit's been workin' out fine for us for the past half a billion years, and we've hardly changed shit.

>> No.1652797

I doubt OP has the power to wipe out our species.
Horse shoe crab status: Told.

>> No.1652807

>>1652787

That's unoriginal, bro.

CHORDATA RULES!

>> No.1652816

>>1652807
Fuck Chordates. Know what? You motherfuckers are more closely related to fucking blue gill than us. FUCK YOUR SHIT, YOU ARE RELATED TO RETARDED FISH

>> No.1652863
File: 39 KB, 300x350, pc030012sea-spider.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1652863

>>1652816

Our cousin Blue and his gang could beat up your cousins. All of them, that's how lame they are. I mean, look at that guy. He shits himself through his skin.

>> No.1652874
File: 109 KB, 468x591, Great-White-Shark-1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1652874

FILLUM CHORDATA REPRESENT!

>> No.1652887

>>1652874
fuck you shark you are drunk

>> No.1652889

>>1652816
fish lay deep in the chordates' clade retard

you can hardly be considered an arthropod on a genetic basis, faggot

how does it feel to be part of a largely extinct lineage? roney much?

>> No.1652895

>>1652889
How does it feel to be a species only 2 million years old?

FUCK
YOUR
SHIT

>> No.1652902
File: 21 KB, 317x432, Lysiosquilla_maculata_ps1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1652902

>>1652150

Hey Horseshoe crab. Guess what? Who cares? Mantis Shrimp are the master Order. Can you even see Polarized Light? I bet you even have no idea about Hyperspectral Vision is. Maybe you'd like a few hits with my clubbed appendages, which hit at 25 m/s and at 10,000 Gs? For your information, thats the acceleration of a bullet. Sorry, but Horseshoe crabs can barely into Arthropods. And guess what else? We can fucking Bioluminesce. Don't get crabby that your Family is a bit (read:extremely) outdated, our extreme adaptive ownage is a bit too significant for such a simple Arthropod like youself. Anyways, enjoy getting crabs.

>> No.1652908

>>1652902
enjoy having your species dying out in another million years because everyone eats you. Humans actually use our blood, motherfucker. We are useful. What have you done with your life? And, we are not outdated. We're just old fashioned

>> No.1652915

>>1652889

GET OFF MY DISCUSSION WITH CRABBY, YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT.

>> No.1652924

>>1652908

I'm not eating any goddamn Mantis Shrimp. Fuck, I'd be shit scared it'd jump out of the dish and beat me up.

>> No.1652928

>>1652908

Okay Motherfucker, what have I done? Our Paralell data Streams and Quarter Wave Particles are revolutionizing the way humans view media, even higher than BluRay and Ultra HD Computers (shit is so cache).

Oh, and if you didn't know, Horseshoe crab (or maybe, Horse Crap) is steadily decreasing in population. So have fun with that.

For the record, Horseshoe Crab is used as a cheap bait.

>> No.1652934

>>1652915

Your discussion with "Crabby"? What? But I was the only one posting... well, and shark dude and >>1652889

>> No.1652941 [DELETED] 

Okay Motherfucker, what have I done? Our Parallel data Streams and Quarter Wave Plates are revolutionizing the way humans view media, even higher than BluRay and Ultra HD Computers (shit is so cache).

Oh, and if you didn't know, Horseshoe crab (or maybe, Horse Crap) is steadily decreasing in population. So have fun with that.

For the record, Horseshoe Crab is used as a cheap bait.

>> No.1652937

>>1652928
Yeah, and that's because of you fucking humans. You harvest our blood so you can make fleshlights, and fuck plastic blow up dolls. Have fun with that shit. Meanwhile, chillin' in my grotto...

>> No.1652940

>>1652895
you are fucking obsolete asshole!

your central nervous system is primitive even by your retarded arthropod standarts, you are almost as stupid as that >>1652863 cousin of yours

the only reason you still exist is because you feed on murk and no creature would eat you since you taste like shit!

Sharks haven't changed much either but at least they occationally upgrade and have managed to remain the most badass fuckers of the animal kingdom for the last 400 million years... where you competition to that? Didn't think so fucker! Only Mesozoic reptiles tended to be more awesome than sharks and guess what fucker... THEY WERE CHORDATES TOO!

Now go cry on some tidal zone along with your loser family.

>> No.1652963

>>1652915
>thinks fish are RELATED TO chordata and not the most representative evolutionary grade WITHIN chordata
>claims that I don't know shit

>> No.1652967

>>1652963
>implying I didnt say that fish were chordata,
>impyling I didnt say that humans are related to fish

>> No.1652974
File: 29 KB, 400x400, octopus-6.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1652974

I got a dick the size of my own arm(s)

Fuck all of you!

>> No.1652975
File: 316 KB, 573x501, gomek.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1652975

>>1652940

And let's not forget

>> No.1652976

>>1652967
ah okey I missread

>> No.1652977

>>1652937

Hemocyanin is a piece of shit. Meanwhile, us Mantis Shrimp have the most complex eyes in the entire Animal Kingdom.

>> No.1652983
File: 51 KB, 360x247, vamp.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1652983

This discussion is stupid. We all know who's boss here, and that's me.

Love,
Vampire Squid from Hell.

>> No.1652989

>>1652974

You are a Massive Dick and a Bigger Asshole. Metaphorically, and possibly Literally.

>> No.1652992

>>1652963

>fish lay deep in the chordates' clade

SHIT NO I JUST SAW YOU DISSIN THE FISHES. BRO, THEY SHINE ABOVE.

>> No.1652993
File: 62 KB, 600x350, goblin-shark.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1652993

>>1652983

A CHALLENGER APPEARS

also
ITT: /b/

>> No.1653001
File: 15 KB, 430x320, americanpsycho.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1653001

Probably the best thread I've read this year. God I love /sci/ when you get it together.

>> No.1653007
File: 284 KB, 3060x647, Longest_dinosaurs1.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1653007

>>1652975
and let us not forget... when was the last time an arthropod or even a protostome reached nearly that size?....

what? 2,6 meters was the length of the largest arthropod?... what was that? the japanese spider crab has a legspan of up to 4 meters?.... HAHAHAHA FAGGOT! Even the largest invertebrate isn't longer than 14 meters and more than half of it is its tentacles.

also: Whales motherfucker!

>> No.1653009
File: 4 KB, 126x126, 1279498231352s.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1653009

>>1653007
>butthurt chordate
>my face

u mad, chordate?

>> No.1653012
File: 100 KB, 400x400, angry octopus.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1653012

>>1652974

>> No.1653017
File: 157 KB, 540x365, Bigfin_squid_May_2001.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1653017

WHAT IS THIS SHIT? GODDAM YOU, WHY MUST A SQUID ALWAYS HAVE TO COME STRAIGHTEN SHIT OUT.

WHO AM I? I'M A FUCKING BIGFIN SQUID, AND I DON'T GIVE A SHIT (I'M A BIT CONSTIPATED...MILK MAAAN).

HOW ABOUT YOU WATCH THIS VID OF ME AT AN OIL DRILL SITE WRECKING SOME HAVOC.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aS0ywe5DUCU

HIT ME UP IN THE A.T.L. ANTIC IF YOUR BITCH WANTS A REAL INKER.

>> No.1653047
File: 58 KB, 468x507, Giant-Jellyfish-in-Japan.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1653047

>>1653007

>> No.1653060

>>1652974
>>1652983
>>1653012
>>1653017

hey assholes

you have your own thread to go brag about yourselves >>1652999

this is between us and the fucking crab

>> No.1653064
File: 105 KB, 800x538, 800px-Horseshoe_crab_mating.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1653064

>>1653060
Let's finish this once and for all, asshole.

Don't mind me, just fuckin mah bitch

>> No.1653065
File: 47 KB, 593x436, jellyfish_t593.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1653065

>>1653047
Little known fact: All black Jellyfish can dunk.

>> No.1653072

>>1653047
what are you doing in this thread jellyfish?

you are not a bilaterian

you do not even have mesoderm

leave now

you are so primitive you emparass yourself

>> No.1653076
File: 52 KB, 342x400, LongArmSquid.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1653076

>>1653060

FUCK NO, BIGFIN SQUID CANNOT STAND THAT NEWFAGGOTRY. BIGFIN SQUID IS ABOVE THAT.

NOW WHERE IS HORSESHIT CRAP? I WANT TO FUCK HIS SHIT UP.

>> No.1653078

>>1653072

u jelly?

>> No.1653083
File: 93 KB, 800x517, Horseshoe_crab_female.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1653083

>>1653076
come right at me motherfucker
im waiting

>> No.1653092

>>1653064
hahaha fag!

enjoy being soon extinct by marine pollution WE created!

how does it feel after half billion years of existance to be PAWN'd by a species of less than half a million year old in less than half a millenia?

>> No.1653094
File: 203 KB, 434x640, jelly-fish.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1653094

> You jelly?
Reporting for duty.

>> No.1653093
File: 55 KB, 600x471, Gull-eating-crab.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1653093

>>1653083

NOM NOM NOM

AVIAN MASTER RACE REPORTING.

>> No.1653103

>>1653093
you motherfucker my brother lost his life in that war you fucking seagulls attacked without warning it was 9/11 all over again

why why why why for fucks sake fuck the world

>> No.1653110
File: 37 KB, 500x500, u jelly.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1653110

>>1653083

BIGFIN SQUID IS AMUSED AT YOU'RE FAGGOTRY. BIGFIN SQUID WILL PUT ON HIS GAME FACE.

YOU GOT NOTHING ON BIGFIN SQUID. BIGFIN SQUID IS STYLING ON YOU. BIGFIN SQUID IS 2PLUSH4U. HOW ABOUT I SLAP YO SHIT?

>> No.1653119
File: 25 KB, 244x300, sponge-bob-244x300.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1653119

don't mind me guys

just heard arguing about who's been the most succesful animal for the most time and thought you were fighting over me

>> No.1653122
File: 521 KB, 765x792, the-birds.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1653122

>>1653103

I WAS THERE MAAAAAN. THEY CAME FROM THE SKY MAAAN. FUCKING NAM MAAAAAN.

>> No.1653124

>>1653072

And don't forget: immortal.

Turritopsis nutricula out.

>> No.1653128
File: 121 KB, 384x365, 201653_21[1].png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1653128

u mad?

>> No.1653132

>>1653122
I know man. You, you remember Henry man? He was just up there, fuckin trollin for pussy on shore leave, and the motherfuckers just came out of nowhere man. They fuckin ripped him to shreds like a piece of bread for fucks sake. THOSE MOTHER FUCKERS!!!

>> No.1653135
File: 71 KB, 593x436, hoodjellyfish.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1653135

>>1653065
Where the hood, where the hood, where the hood at?
Have that nigga in the cut, where the wood at?
Oh, them niggaz actin up?!? Where the wolves at?
You better BUST THAT if you gon pull that

>> No.1653144

>>1653119

In the Animalia Kingdom, Porifera are those dudes we invited to the party because we had to rather than wanted to, and then sat at the end of the table. Goddamn Parazoa.

>> No.1653146

>>1653132

our time will come....

CAPATCHA: Interim Henry

>> No.1653151

>>1653128

Who's the cutest little fucker in the entire Kingdom?
You are! Yes you are!

>> No.1653165
File: 262 KB, 500x294, tumblr_kvkgk6ae3l1qaba38o1_500.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1653165

>>1653144
haha

nice try

I did not know how to tell you that but, it doesn't matter anymore...

you recently found out that sponges are a paraphyletic assemblage if we exclude metazoa...

you know what that means... I AM YOUR GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT GREAT.... <Several million years later... -you read this in Bobsponge's narrator voice->.... great great great grandfother Luke! same goes for everyone in this thread.

>> No.1653176
File: 6 KB, 196x257, images.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1653176

>>1653151

Wrong. I am.

>> No.1653190
File: 30 KB, 550x412, 6004310.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1653190

>>1653165

And we know how to defeat you!

>> No.1653228
File: 37 KB, 440x338, spongebob_yelling-4844.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1653228

>>1653190

>> No.1653386
File: 29 KB, 640x400, 09707.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1653386

>>1653228

>> No.1653488
File: 9 KB, 414x435, hydra-opsin.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1653488

All ya'll are fucking weak shit. Niggers not only do I not show any signs of aging I can regenerate like a motherfucker. CUT ME IN HALF!? fuck you now theres just two of me. I'm an immortal multicellular predator bitchessss

>> No.1653535

>>1653488
fucking hydra how do they work?

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