Paranoia

[Anonymous No.1638267]

Every day of my life I am in this paranoid or cautious state where I purposely keep myself on my toes in case anything bad (and I mean really bad) happens. Everyone I knows tells me to relax and not worry as much, but it seems that every time I do relax a bit and not let my paranoia gets to me, something bad happens to bring it all up.

Examples from my life include:
>Get first girlfriend at 16
>Constantly worry about coming off as creepy or scaring her away
>Everyone, including her, tells me to relax about it
>A month and a half later I do and finally come around to enjoy being with her
>A couple weeks later I catch her cheating on me with my best friend
>Age 14: Hypochondriac dad gets sick
>Worry about him constantly in the hospital since this feels different than usual
>Family and friends tell me to relax since he's a hypochondriac or that he's dealt with worse sickness
>Finally relax after a few days and think he'll make it
>Next day we get a call saying that he's passed away
>Age 20: Get married to childhood friend whom I believed was the woman of my dreams all the time
>Never been so happy, actually never felt uneasy or paranoid about her
>One day, while she was away at New Mexico to be with family, I get this sudden uneasy and nervous feeling about her. I checked IM to see her on, but she wouldn't respond, but I figured she just left it on (it was night after all), and that what I was feeling was all just my paranoia.
>A month later she finally admits to be seeing someone else for about six weeks

[Anonymous No.1638271]

>>1638267 continued

>Age 15: Best friend started acting different, wouldn't say what, she just became distant
>Started worrying constantly that something was wrong and tried to figure out what
>People kept telling me to relax, and after a long time, eventually I do
>Later get told she's started to hate him so furiously, and started spreading rumors that I was stalker or rapist, all because I "friend zoned" her without realizing it
>Age early 20s: Paranoia starts at job as I feel something is really amiss
>Feel this way hours, on my toes that something is going to happen with me involved. Eventually try to relax and just think I'm being paranoid.
>Go downstairs to use the vending machine, pass the warehouse. There's only one guy working there while everyone was off to lunch, asks me help.
>I go over to help, but then all of a sudden one of the metal bars above slipped off and hit him, knocking on conscious. Since I was the only one there, I was to blame despite what I said, and got fired for it.
>Age 17-18: Meet the girl of my dreams, or so it felt like it. She came onto me and made all the moves for me, as I got to know her I found that she fit perfectly to what I wanted in a woman, every little bit. Never been so happy to have her.
>A year later into our relationship I have this serious, uncontrolled and scaring her away or creeping that I haven't felt since the beginning of our relationship. Feelings persist for a few weeks but eventually convinced myself that it just in my head.
>Shortly after my girlfriend admits to feeling less comfortable around me, stalked almost. Ended our relationship on this note, crushed me deeply (took me about two years to get over).

[Anonymous No.1638273]

>>1638271 continued

>Get new kitten a year ago. Constantly about harm being done to it when I'm not around (house catches on fire, burglars, etc). Almost always panicking to come home one day and find it dead.
>Feelings of fear and worry for it persist about a year, until finally relaxing and figures the chances of shit happening to her are unlikely.
>Just last week I get the news from my neighbors that she's been hit by a car.

These are the only times when I actually tried to relax more and not let my paranoia get to me. And every time, every FUCKING time, the shit above happens shortly after. I don't understand how anyone can expect to ever go about my day relaxed about everything. I just don't get it.

[Anonymous No.1638274]

i laughed. pretty funny story.

[Anonymous No.1638277]

holy shit. sage.

seriously man, why don't you take your faggotry back to /r9k/?

[снайпер No.1638279]

Okay, but what does this have to do with science?

Unless you're implying that you have some kind of ESP.

In which case, no, it's confirmation bias, OP.

[Anonymous No.1638283]

>>1638277
I have to wait 10 minutes to do so.

[Anonymous No.1638289]

>>1638279
Paranoia is scientific phenomenon (both in a psychological and neurological sense).

[Anonymous No.1638299]

>>1638279
Everybody keeps fucking telling me to relax all the damn time, and yet each time I do this shit happens. I just don't understand how anyone can literally expect me to relax after everything. It just don't make sense to me.

[Anonymous No.1638303]

>age 16
>age 14
>age 20
>age 15
>age 20
>age 17-18

Nice story order bro.
Maybe you shouldn't get married at 20 (seriously, what the fuck?)

Also, not science at all

[Anonymous No.1638304]

I think you may actually be the creep you're afraid of being.

[Anonymous No.1638305]

KITTY!

[Anonymous No.1638316]

These would be more interesting if half of them wasn't about some whining about girls.

>>1638303
>Maybe you shouldn't get married at 20 (seriously, what the fuck?)
At least he was (assumingly) getting laid in the meantime.

[Anonymous No.1638326]

>>1638303
>Maybe you shouldn't get married at 20 (seriously, what the fuck?)
Exactly what I was thinking. I'm 24 and have been dating a wonderful girl for 2 years. Marriage is in no near future for us.

[Anonymous No.1638332]

A lot of self-fulfilled prophecies here, especially when it comes to relationships. Happens to everyone.

For the other shit, basically your mind forgot all the times when bad shit happened while you were in paranoid state because you expected those things to happen. Instead you kept only the memories of unexpected things (shit happens when you convinced yourself it wasn't going to happen).

Just a variation on the "I always find things when I'm not looking for them and never when I do" theme.

[Anonymous No.1638344]

>>1638326
Marriage is so 1990.

[Anonymous No.1638349]

>coming off as creepy
>rumors that I was stalker or rapist
>scaring her away or creeping
>feeling less comfortable around me, stalked almost.

See a pattern? Not a coincidence.

The sooner you realize that shit happens that is sometimes beyond your control, the better. Being paranoid as shit about it only makes it worse, and it makes the loss hurt that much more. Stop.