[ 3 / biz / cgl / ck / diy / fa / ic / jp / lit / sci / vr / vt ] [ index / top / reports ] [ become a patron ] [ status ]
2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/sci/ - Science & Math

View post   
File: 9 KB, 378x284, math1.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1631186 No.1631186 [Reply] [Original]

Science jokes.

>> No.1631193

Two scientists walk into a bar with the intention of having a drinking contest, the barman asks them what they'd like.

"I'll have a glass of H2O" said the first scientist.
"I'll have a glass of H2O too" said the second scientist.

Needless to say, the first scientist won.

>> No.1631219

An atom is walking along when suddenly it is hit by another.

"I lost an electron!" said the first

"Are you sure?" said the second

"Yes, I'm sure" said the first

>> No.1631228

An astronomer, a physicist and a mathematician (it is said) were holidaying in Scotland. Glancing from a train window, they observed a black sheep in the middle of a field.
"How interesting," observed the astronomer, "all scottish sheep are black!"
To which the physicist responded, "No, no! Some Scottish sheep are black!"
The mathematician gazed heavenward in supplication, and then intoned, "In Scotland there exists at least one field, containing at least one sheep, at least one side of which is black."

>> No.1631230

"I'll have a glass of H2O" said the first scientist.
"I'll have a glass of H2O as well" said the second scientist.

Needless to say, the first scientist won.

>> No.1631248

Schroedingers cat walkt into a bar. And doesn't.

>> No.1631258
File: 103 KB, 1024x576, 1270235016806.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1631258

>>1631219
>>1631230
I see what you did there..

>> No.1631275

>>1631219
>>1631230

I don't get these.

>> No.1631284

>>1631275
The original jokes are puns. God damn /sci/ is so fucking stupid.

>> No.1631286

>>1631284

Well I don't know the original jokes...

>> No.1631287

>>1631286

You went from dumb to dumber right there.

>> No.1631291

>>1631275
Change an integral part of the joke and it becomes derivative, and it no longer has a function.

>> No.1631292
File: 67 KB, 450x587, ferrous_wheel.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1631292

>> No.1631295

Medical one:
What do you give a girl thats got everything?

Broad spectrum antibiotics.

>> No.1631297

>>1631284
>/sci/ is so fucking stupid
>quoting one anon

nice

>> No.1631298

How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a ligthtbulb?

0.999999...

>> No.1631303

This thread has made me chuckle several times.

Thank you.

>> No.1631304

Why do Maclaurin approximate the function so well?

Because they are Taylor-made.

>> No.1631305

Algebra I can handle,
vectors are fine,
statistics are okay,
but graphing?
That's where I draw the line.

>> No.1631306

>>1631304
that one made me groan.

captcha: science vedallck

>> No.1631349

MOOAAARRR

>> No.1631354

What do Canadians use to help solve differential equations?

The Lacross transform.

>> No.1631357
File: 18 KB, 887x171, mathsexualinuendo.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1631357

>> No.1631359

What's purple and commutes?

An abelian grape.

>> No.1631405

Why couldn't Trigonometry get an apartment?

Because Tangent wouldn't cosine!

>> No.1631421

Q: What is big, gray, and has integer coefficients?
A: An elephantine equation.

>> No.1631429
File: 52 KB, 600x431, 1282060675296.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1631429

>>1631405

>> No.1631433

Why is 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 8 9!

>> No.1631449

A physicist and a mathematician are sitting in a faculty lounge. Suddenly, the coffee machine catches on fire. The physicist grabs a bucket and leaps toward the sink, fills the bucket with water, and puts out the fire. Second day, the same two sit in the same lounge. Again the coffee machine catches on fire. This time, the mathematician stands up, gets a bucket, and hands the bucket to the physicist, thus reducing the problem to a previously solved one.

>> No.1631458

An engineer, a physicist and a mathematician are riding a train through Scotland when the engineer sees a black sheep. "Aha! Sheep in Scotland are black!" he exclaims. "Well, some sheep in Scotland are black," the physicist says. The mathematician turns to both of them: "We only know that there exists, in this part of Scotland, at least one sheep, that is black on at least one side."

I hope you like this one.

>> No.1631470

!!!!111oneoneelevenLimx->0Sin(x)/x

>> No.1631474

>>1631458
I did.

>> No.1631488
File: 48 KB, 800x533, 1275233991197.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1631488

>>1631433

>> No.1631517

/sci/, I heard this great joke! Okay, here it goes: A physics professor and his assistant are working on liberating negatively-charged hydroxyl ions, when all of a sudden, the assistant says, "Wait, professor, what if the salicylic acids do not accept the hydroxyl ions?" And the professor responds, "That's no hydroxyl ion; that's my wife!"

>> No.1631518
File: 157 KB, 480x1176, 1263999921947.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1631518

>> No.1631524

>>1631517

Don't get it.

>> No.1631581

>>1631433

Why don't jokes work in base 8?

because 7 10 11

>> No.1631595
File: 212 KB, 1341x1281, 1268938516572.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1631595

>> No.1631598
File: 200 KB, 696x618, 1268939547303.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1631598

>> No.1631602

>>1631595
>stopcock
lol

>> No.1631622

>>1631517
the professors wife is an alcohol

>> No.1631641

>>1631622
And it's destroying his family.

>> No.1631642

There once was a woman named Bright
whose speed was much faster than light
she set out one day
in a relative way
and returned on the previous night

>> No.1631648

A man walks into a bar.
He's an alcohol and it's destroying his family.

>> No.1631696
File: 10 KB, 400x253, 1274213754027.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1631696

>> No.1631706

>>1631696

do this with penises and will be hilarious

>> No.1631710

>>1631219
>>1631219
You're fucking stupid.

"Yes, I'm positive" said the first one.
That's how it's supposed to end.

>> No.1631722

>>1631710

derp

>> No.1631724
File: 45 KB, 1053x703, angry_computer_guy.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1631724

>>1631722

>> No.1632859

>>1631706

I live it when and is hilarious. Why are you talking about penises though?

>> No.1633225

Man: I wish I was your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves.
Woman: I wish I was your triple integral so I could chop you up into tiny little pieces.

>> No.1633258

To get to the other side.

>> No.1633264

Why did the Tachyon cross the road?

>> No.1633288
File: 141 KB, 1600x1200, killeveryone.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
1633288

>>1631517