Lack of motivation as a genius

[Anonymous No.15928041]

I'd like to appeal to the other geniuses of /sci/
as a genius that could impact humanity why do I choose to squander what many consider a gift?
Have you ever struggled and rattled with pangs due to your intellectual endowment?
I rarely meet anyone like me, both in intellect and awareness. I've met a few savants, but something inside them was still utterly dull.
From a young age I was quite precocious. I don't like to whine about "how hard my life was" but something about it made me dull in another way. My heart is totally vacant. Every passion I have is suffocated. I only studied mathematics because it was so easy. My only mathematical challenge is my lack of passion.
My genius kills everything around me, it sucks the spirit of all things like a gluttonous demon.
When I peer into that abyssal reality, that great void, the infinite tears me apart.
The knowledge that the only way to live is at my own detriment is unbearable.
My whole life I have been alone in an empty world.

[Anonymous No.15928042]

Didn't read.
>genius
>trusting online, unvalidated IQ score
Lol. LMAO even .

[Anonymous No.15928043]

>>15928041
If you were actually smart you would have figured it out. You are taking a weird masochistic pride in fumbling a lead you've had since primary school. Are you out of your god damned mind man?

[Anonymous No.15928045]

>>15928043
You're wrong, it's a flaw to assume there is a solution. To always hope for one is dishonestly.
I've been meditating on this for a long time, it has nothing to do with logic, choice is illogical, it is guided by a religious bias all the time whether one worships pride, money, pleasure, etc.
The science of being, it is crushing.

[Anonymous No.15928049]

>>15928045
So you enjoy masturbating about your own incompetence. Got it.

If you were 1/3rd the genius you believe yourself to be, you would find a way to apply yourself. Being capable is not just about solving some unsolved math problem to get your name in textbooks. It is about figuring out how to find meaning in your struggle and suffering. If you can not find some meaningful purpose to work towards, you are dumber than any of the people you look down on who have been able to accomplish what you cannot.

[Anonymous No.15928056]

>>15928049
But yet I am not like them

[Anonymous No.15928066]

>>15928056
Well, let's try something a. It more concrete. You say you've studied mathematics and had no real challenges. What kind of math did you study and where did you stop?

[Anonymous No.15928067]

>>15928066
a bit more concrete.* I'm apparently too stupid to proof read.

[Anonymous No.15928075]

>>15928041
>My heart is totally vacant. Every passion I have is suffocated. I only studied mathematics because it was so easy. My only mathematical challenge is my lack of passion.
>My genius kills everything around me, it sucks the spirit of all things like a gluttonous demon.
>When I peer into that abyssal reality, that great void, the infinite tears me apart.
>The knowledge that the only way to live is at my own detriment is unbearable.
>My whole life I have been alone in an empty world.
You sound more like a pretentious cunt rather than a genius. I don't want to confuse you, but this isn't akin to Stockholm syndrome. Judging by your poetic descriptions of your situation, it seems you derive some degree of enjoyment from where you are. It appears you've blended fantasy and reality, playing the role of a stoic, melancholic protagonist straight out of Camus' novels, battling in an absurd world. Instead of realizing your folly, you seem to anticipate something grander, a revelation, perhaps? This niche might work well in women's fantasies—a damaged hero they believe they can fix. But truth be told, you're not a genius. Relying on an online IQ test of questionable validity only serves to boost your ego. The real answer is rather straightforward: you're not brilliant. You might blame your troubled past all you want, but the reality is, you fear failure because it would challenge your entire existence. Weren't you the genius with a 145 IQ? It's time to step down from your pedestal and confront reality.

[Anonymous No.15928078]

>>15928041
My IQ actualy are 210. Me nebber went for shool because to easy, me no need shool. Now am lost becaus too smart. People not under stand. Why no under stand?

[Anonymous No.15928080]

>>15928075
Pretty sure it's bait

[Anonymous No.15928083]

>>15928080
pretty sure you are a fagkot

[Anonymous No.15928086]

>>15928041
I wonder why everyone in this thread is so opposed to the idea of your IQ being 145+. It's not that unlikely.

I also don't see why your IQ is really relevant. It doesn't matter how smart you are if you're lazy, depressive, cowardly, or a failure in any number of ways. Maybe you really are a genius. And maybe your personality is just not suited for this world. Whatever the case may be, all you really evolved to do is to breed and pass on your genes. Maybe you should try that. See if you find fullfilment that way.

[Anonymous No.15928094]

>>15928086
I'm not opposed to the idea that the OP has 145 IQ. I'm opposed to the idea that having a high-IQ is equivalent to being a genius.

In some ways having a high IQ may be a prerequisite to being a genius, but it is not interchangeable with the genius itself. Being a genius is about what one does with their intellectual resources, not whether or not they have them. Having a lot of intelligence at your disposal and squandering it through your own ineptness is not a description of genius. It is a description of an illness.

[Anonymous No.15928096]

Just find something difficult enough and immerse yourself in it. Also stop shitting up /sci/.

If you cannot find the passion for anything in the world, then sell your soul for money and sex.

[Anonymous No.15928111]

>>15928041
IQ does not equal genius. Sorry, but you're basically an idiot.

[Anonymous No.15928127]

>>15928041
Your problem is grandiosity and narcissism, not IQ.
Yes it is that simple, I will not respond to you again.

[Anonymous No.15928148]

>>15928075
>fantasy and reality
Funny
>Camus' novels
Even Sisyphus had his boulder
>you fear failure because it would challenge your entire existence
My existence is challenged. I can imagine it in m y mind, to pick up the stone after it has fallen, ad nauseam I see it as if I had already done it infinitely. This is my struggle, I can imagine anything and it is therefore meaningless in practice.
I know materialists will not understand my plight. But it is a mathematical fact that reality is larger than what is material.

[Anonymous No.15928150]

>>15928041
I think the majority of research is subhumans writing 5 paragraph essays.

[Anonymous No.15928153]

>>15928086
It is the like morning dew, once again in my mind I have already predicted this. There's not even a point to reacting or thinking about it because I know I will find the answer and I know it will not matter and thus I cannot care.
By not caring have I then already done everything in by doing nothing?
>And maybe your personality is just not suited for this world
probably, I'm not for this world I suppose.
>evolved to do is to breed and pass on your genes
genes lose value after a number of iterations, I will be a genetic stranger to my kin just as I am to my distant cousin.
The human race will succeed in proliferation without me.
I am a genetic failure, born without drive, but given great intelligence.

[Anonymous No.15928155]

>>15928153
>genetic failure,
>Great intelligence
This board is insufferably retarded.

[Anonymous No.15928164]

>>15928127
If I were not such a narcissist I would probably just free myself from this mortal coil.
>>15928155
It's true. Evolution has no desires, it is merely a gravity.
My intelligence is however a hinderance. I've talked to people before, I've talked to women before, so why should I bother to do it again? It is so dull I can already be bored in my own mind.

[Anonymous No.15928165]

>>15928164
You don't understand. I'm calling you an idiot.

[Anonymous No.15928193]

>>15928041
You're a megalomaniac who bases your worth off of another's scale. You should honestly kill yourself.

[Anonymous No.15928228]

>>15928041
Are you sometimes sad? It's maybe time to try crack!

Literally I am 95 IQ idiot after antipsychotics, because IQ test seemed boring so I did only 45% of it.

[Anonymous No.15928308]

>>15928083
yeah but it's still bait

[Anonymous No.15928313]

>>15928041
Have you tried writing poetry?

[Anonymous No.15928348]

From one to another; I’ll attempt to compliment your romance.

If you are as intelligent as you say, with a clarity that nulls instead of validates, within tandem not often paired, perhaps there are a few things to consider.

You are young. You are recognizable with your posts, and you admit to your age. It is not that time is a denial of your validity, but without trial you will not suffer, and to stay in life and yet not lived is arguably a reason for all naivety. Embrace your ignorance and sincerity of youth, don’t disengage from it, or larp as a sage beyond your gained years. Bound a course for what are your own ambitions, not ones that society dictates of you. Only fulfilled under the weight of your own mistakes will you find refuge from hubris, and likewise, will you find a sincere peace when they are remedied.

Self awareness is not the final conclusion, contrary to what intellectuals might say. Once you tread down a path of distilling cognizance of both your environment and those around you, the formative for them appears lacking, to say the least. Yet denial of their sincerity, whatever superficial acts socially, is not a kind judgement to make, least of all, excusing ones own misgivings. They are forever bound to conscious shapes, of which they desire no escape or redirection thereof. It has no name, it has no defining boundaries, except one, called self awareness. It is the act of self awareness implicit in governing one’s actions and manipulation, and steers toward these shapes of conform and submission. I have seen very few escape from these designed prisons, and they are those who can circle back to genuine behavior. Self awareness is anything but.

(1)

[Anonymous No.15928350]

>>15928348
(2)

With (You) is that you’ll only know what has been afforded to you, and yet truth hides behind the masters eyes. If language is not for being heard but to imprison, if mathematics is not free but erroneously constricted, if companionship and love are only allotted for prices, if meaning is only materially endeavored yet fleeting; what is the point? You arrive to the sound conclusion of any materialist, but my recommendation would be to pursue the Truth. There are a thousand million different truths, and a thousand million facets of each. But the circumstance of both intelligence and clarity allow for one to discern with pure distinction and separation, the subjugated and the lies that hold them, from the sincere minds of those that attempt to be free from what holds behind or beyond our perceptions. Still, or stalled, you must choose to do something, even if it is nothing.

[Anonymous No.15928419]

>>15928041
The only reason to master math is that you have an ocd around numbers, so you want to channel it into something less annoying.
Being smart is only half of the equation. You have to find your passion yet, something you enjoy doing, something you'd do for free, so your intellect may allow you to become the best in the field.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ck1ywFrxtl0

[Anonymous No.15928428]

>>15928045
>choice is illogical, it is guided by a religious bias

That's a fair way to put it. I believe the human being is a religious creature by nature, whether actual religion, Scientism, or woke dogma. The masses enjoy a spiritual, known-it-all leader to deliver the hidden truth.

I think you need to break away from it all and follow your own "personal myth" as Jung put it. For me that means forgoing a lot of conventional wisdom. I'm preparing to quick my high paying STEM job to go be a writer. I don't care if I fail at writing because I can always just get a stem job again

[Anonymous No.15928432]

>>15928041
>as a genius
said no genius ever

[Anonymous No.15928477]

>>15928432
All of them did. But not to you (they were smart enough to know not to offend the cattle unable to think in abstractions and can only understand things in comparison, so when someone dares to say "I am a genius" they immediately hear "..and you're shit"

[Anonymous No.15928785]

>>15928350
>>15928428
I see. Living as a human is painful, but is much more painful to give up like I do. Is it the obsessions of man which give him life, even if they are wrong and illogical. I am not afraid of failure, I am simply not motivated by success.
I suppose my life I've lived for the sake of others. Right now the only reason I can think to live is because of the people who demand it. And when my genius exceeded those around me I began to wither.
I was wrong, I was afraid. I was afraid of living because then I could be destroyed. Genius is frozen without brilliance to set it ablaze.
I want to live.

[Anonymous No.15928939]

Great.

[Anonymous No.15928992]

>>15928067
>>15928066
>No response

[Anonymous No.15929193]

>>15928041
ADHD. Get evaluated and treated if you have it. Problem solved.

[Anonymous No.15929413]

>>15928041
Capacity of thinking isn't the same as thinking right. Your problem is the autistic shithole you live or are into, like 4chan.

[Anonymous No.15929433]

>>15929193
this desu

[Anonymous No.15929537]

>>15928041
There's nothin I hate more than unmotivated high iq people who just sit on their ass all day or don't work in STEM or in a good leadership role
You were born with the gift of intelligence. You're wasting your potential on nothing. As a low iq person (93IQ), it physically pains me to see talented people who don't use their superior intellectual capabilities for good

[Anonymous No.15929550]

>>15929537
If you tested your leaders and scientists for intelligence, maybe then smarties would have larger chances of doing it in those fields.

[Anonymous No.15929552]

>>15928041
>bait thread
Your purpose is to have lots of loving gay sex with your husband (top) w

[Anonymous No.15929602]

You are autistic and it probably never even began

[Anonymous No.15929642]

>>15928041
You score very low on the conscientiousness trait. If you can't overcome that limitation you are as fucked as a retard is fucked in life.

[Anonymous No.15929649]

>>15928041
Figure out one of those problems that pay a million bucks and travel around to figure out what might interest you :)