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/sci/ - Science & Math

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1456774 No.1456774 [Reply] [Original]

/sci/-related short stories.

I'll start with a classic.

http://www.multivax.com/last_question.html

>> No.1456797

So ur with ur lab and yur mixin sum chems wen the phone rigns. U anser it n the vioce is “wut r u doing wit my beaker?” U look at yur beaker and it say “property of me”. THEN WHO WAS PHONE?

>> No.1456812

this was posted on another thread but it 404'd so

http://pleasegodno.wordpress.com/2010/06/27/the-fermi-paradox/

>> No.1456839

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harrison_Bergeron

>> No.1456846

>>1456797
holy shit

>> No.1456863
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1456863

>>1456797

>> No.1456900

>>1456839

so fucking depressing, worst thing is that it's the future we're headed to

>> No.1456929

>>1456900

have some faith in progress goddammit

>> No.1456935

>>1456839

Isn't Vonnegut the scientology guy?

>> No.1456943

>>1456935

That's Hubbard.

>> No.1456954
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1456954

>>1456797

>> No.1456978
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1456978

From Freud's personal journal; 1891.

Three days ago, I took upon myself the task of analyzing one of Paris's top civil engineers: Pierre Gauthier. Pierre confided in me that he was having trouble sleeping, and problem was so severe it had begun to influence his work. Through my usual methods, I had found his sleeplessness to be linked to unfilled but undeniable unconscious desire.
Through investigation of the patient's life, I came across many phallic objects in Pierre's works Through further questioning, I was able to determine Pierre to be repressing homosexuality. Upon this realization, Pierre leaped up from the couch, vigorously shook my hands, and went on his way, presumably to find a male prostitute. This case certainly supports my theories of sexual repression as well my conjecture about engineers.

>> No.1456990
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1456990

>>1456978

>> No.1456996
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1456996

>>1456978

>> No.1456999

I was at my sister place. And then we fucked. Then the Apocalypse happened.

>> No.1457014

>>1456999
was it zombies??

>> No.1457021

>>1456978

ahahahahaha

>> No.1457039

>>1456978
Oh Freud. Imagine the field day he'd have with modern engineers.


Actually, you'd probably end up with the same thing.


(;____;)

>> No.1457052

>>1456978

lol'd

>> No.1457083

>>1456978

what a dumb ass

>> No.1457903

heres a "science joke" from like two years ago that I saved. Kudos to whomever came up with it:

Two science mans were walking into a physics store to buy some bunsen burners when a geometry man walks up to them and says, "pardon me sirs, may i borrow a liter of energy fuel for my science car?"

And the two physics guys are like ok. then he gets in his science car and they go to geometryville lane. Then they have nitrogen and kinetic energy in the trunk of the science car.

Get it?

>> No.1457990

>>1456812
>>1456839
>>1456774

These are amazing

>> No.1457993

>>1456978
Fucking everything with Freud is gay

I think Freud was a huge flamer himself, and he was just projecting through his lulphilosophy

>> No.1458006
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1458006

I followed Carl Sagan outside, to the parking lot. I waved at him, and his eyes seemed uneasy. I moved close, and noticed his car plates: "Phobos". I made an awkward joke and he seemed to like it. He said:
"You're cute."
I thought he was messing with me at first, but then he extended his arm, and reached for my hair.
"I like your hair, too", he said in a playful tone.
It was at that point that I realised he was serious, and I felt a tingling sensation down my pants. I turned to him and said: "I'm not gay."
"Fucking a guy isn't gay in my book.", he replied.

It was at this moment that he did the most unimaginable act. He went down on his knees and started unziping my jeans. I looked around the parking lot and couldn't see anyone. By the time I finished checking around, I look down and see Carl Sagan having a mouthful of my dick.

I knew this was wrong, but I couldn't resist his charms. After a few masterful strokes my cum rested at the top of his dome, dripping down like heavenly rain. As he swallowed the cum, he made a remark:
"Now what do you have to say about my theory?"

I laughed, and said I should reconsider. He stood up, got in his car and left. I didn't have my car so I whistled for a cab and when it came near the license plates said "Fresh" and had a dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare, but I thought, naw forget it you homes to bel-air.