/sci/ - Science & Math

[Anonymous No.1308092]

Professor thread.

i had a organic chem professor who was a misogynist but every one was okay with it since our class was all male. he would come in and before each lecture he would rant about how women are destroying the world and castrating men on a daily basis. then we would all laugh and learn science.

[Anonymous No.1308097]

Was he divorced or a virgin?

[Anonymous No.1308099]

>>1308097
divorced 2 times.

[Anonymous No.1308109]

>>1308099

Women have a pretty big advantage in divorce courts. Women can choose to initiate divorce without proving a breech of contract but still demand alimony, for example.

[Anonymous No.1308110]

Underageb& here, AP lang teacher knew all the words to NWA's "Boyz in the Hood" and would bust out sometimes. Also confirmed for /b/tard.

[Anonymous No.1308112]

File a greivence. Talk to the head of the department and, if they ignore you, the dean. There are ways to take action.

[Anonymous No.1308113]

Not really a professor story, but an old science teacher once peered over mine and my friends shoulder whilst we were reading some pages from the anarchists cookbook about bombs we had printed out.

asked us to stay after class, we were shitting ourselves.

he gave us a one hour lecture on how to modify and improve what we were reading because he thought the methods were unsafe. then gave us some other fun things to try

Then gave us a further hour lecture on some of the awesome stuff he had done at uni

shit was so cash

[Anonymous No.1308115]

>then we would all laugh

[Anonymous No.1308119]

I had a chinese professor for ODE that pronounced 'square root' as 'screw you'

[Anonymous No.1308127]

I had a philosophy professor who was a little out there.
He was in the middle of a lecture and some smart ass asked a random philosophical sounding question that had nothing to do with the lecture. I think he asked, "If you could be any animal in the world, what type of animal would you be?"
The professor said "a squirrel" without even pausing to think and went on with his lecture like nothing happened.

[Anonymous No.1308128]

>>1308112
lol, she thinks there is a problem.

[Anonymous No.1308130]

>>1308119
i had a chinese professor for comp anal that had weird intonation and would unintentionally shout the last word of every sentence

[Anonymous No.1308145]

>>1308119
I had a Chinese professor who would always say computate, a portmanteau of calculate and compute.

[Anonymous No.1308151]

my last year high school math teacher would always send the hot girls to the blackboard, and take their seat

[Anonymous No.1308157]

>>1308112
no one had any complaints, that guy was awesome.

[Anonymous No.1308164]

>>1308151

[Anonymous No.1308175]

>>1308119
oh needless to say.. it was a class meant for ~100+ students, after the first month only 5 ppl attended.

[Anonymous No.1308177]

I had a professor who was anal about students being late.
Some guy walked into class 10min late with mud all over his shoes and the prof stopped lecturing to ask him to get some paper towels to clean up the mud he tracked in.
As soon as the guy left the room the prof walked over to his desk and knocked a notebook off onto the mud.
He proceeded to drag the notebook through the mud and return it to the desk.
When the guy came back to class the prof said, "Your notebook fell on the floor, but I picked it up for you"

Everyone in the class was too stunned to say a word at any point during this.

That prof was one smug asshole.

[Anonymous No.1308197]

I took a non-major astronomy class sophomore year, our professor was tiny woman with a scottish accent. The class was fantastic and it convinced me to switch to a science degree... but I spent the whole semester trying not to giggle at the fact that she sounded like a falsetto Sean Connery.

[Anonymous No.1308204]

>>1308177
sounds like a douche.

[Anonymous No.1308226]

Fuck I can't wait until I'm a prof with tenure. I'm going to give every lecture drunk and stoned, and no one can fire me.

[Anonymous No.1308236]

>>1308177

one of my professors would stop the lecture every time someone was late and make the whole lecture theatre stare at the person until they gave a valid excuse (he told us we'd have to do this in the very first lecture) he wouldn't ask us, there would just be silence and we'd have to give it

oh, and he wanted a valid excuse, not just any excuse. I once seen a guy stand there for about 2 whole minute of silence after giving his excuse with everyone staring at him. he was bright red man it was awful.

eventually the guy just sat down and the professor tutted, shook his head and carried on.

if i was ever late i wouldn't turn up.

[Anonymous No.1308283]

>>1308236
so your teacher is an asshole who cares too much about attendance.

[Anonymous No.1308289]

>>1308283

not attendance, punctuality.

[Anonymous No.1308321]

>>1308289
I'm was late for my of my classes in grade 12, should I try to be ontime for uni?

[Anonymous No.1308377]

I had an O-chem professor who I suspect liked to milk as much time as possible with his lectures. He was a super-dorky kinetics specialist who I think cares about 1000x more about his research than his lectures is what it was.

He never used slides or projectors for any of the more complex stuff he was lecturing on. If he had to draw some transitions/variants/reactions with a structurally complex molecule, even if it was like 24 times back to back, he would stand there and hand-draw every single one methodically. Guy was sort of old and so I suspect he just never caught on to better teaching methods. More likely he knew but didn't give enough of a shit.

Needless to say his lectures were so boring and frustrating that one time late in the quarter, after class as we were walking through the little hallway that exits the lecture auditorium, some guy turned and punched the wall so hard (I think it was cloth-covered drywall) that he socked a big, fist-sized crater right into it, big enough to hold say an apple inside of it.. and just kept walking like nothing happened. Everyone was just sorta stunned, and the only thing I heard outside the hall was "Did you see that one guy punch the wall!?" ... I think the prof never even noticed or knew. Then again, there are always those certain dudes who go and talk to the profs for 10-20 minutes after lecture's over so he was probably busy with them.

[Anonymous No.1308398]

>>1308321

It might help you sort out that there sentence writing impediment of yours

[Anonymous No.1308409]

>>1308377

lol yeh it's quite odd when you think about it that professors have no formal teaching qualifications.

for some it is more obvious than others

[Anonymous No.1308412]

>>1308321
lol
nobody fucking cares except for the rare douchebag

related:
I was a pretty good student, but I was 15min late to a class once. The prof stopped class and told me never to be late to his class again.
I was pretty pissed. Weeks later I went to his office to find out my midterm grade and he started in on how I was always late and was going to fail if I didn't start busting my ass.
I started getting pretty pissed off and told him I had been late ONCE and he called me out like I was in high school.
Then he said "Wait. You're Chuck, right?"
Wrong.
Douchebag looked up my grade and started trying to talk into majoring in history (his dept)

[Anonymous No.1308487]

>>1308398
>>1308412

Shit, I was going to type "I'm late for class" but I realized it's summer.

[Anonymous No.1308590]

>>1308487
Ha.

... Am I the only one who is having dreams about taking finals/being late for finals/somehow starting a final and having no idea what's going on?

It's the biggest relief in the world to wake up and go "Oh wait, it's summer!"... but I think this last quarter might have left me slightly traumatized or something. I got ~6 hours of sleep over the course of three days for finals. But hey, I got As and Bs in some of the hardest classes I will have to take, so it was worth it... as long as these fucking nightmares eventually stop.

Pic related is what I feel like for about 20 seconds after I wake up every other morning..

[Anonymous No.1308601]

>>1308590

Your finals last only 3 days? Or have I incorrectly inferred that?

[Anonymous No.1308648]

>>1308601

Normally they are longer, however the way my classes' time slots panned out resulted in only a 3-day schedule. It was a strange quarter..

[Anonymous No.1308671]

I took a history option once. Very large class - it was a prerequisite for half of second year history, and it was an easy class for people who had an art requirement. Lecture theater was for 300 kids, and every seat was full. The first day of classes, after telling us the outline, where his office was, etc, he walked through the isles, shook everyones hand, and asked them their name.

He knew every single student's name from day 2 on.

[Anonymous No.1308696]

>>1308671
Beautifull story.

[Anonymous No.1308699]

>>1308696
Fucking faggot

[Anonymous No.1308720]

Middle-aged British professors are the best, and Muslim and East-Asian professors are the worst.

No particularly interesting stories, but that's what I've gathered so far from their teaching methods.

[Anonymous No.1308757]

>>1308671

Fucking awesome, you don't get professors like that anymore.

[Anonymous No.1308770]

There was the physics professor who would be gone for a lecture or two, and when he returned would mention something about a government contract but get back to teaching without really explaining it.

[Anonymous No.1308853]

One of my professors studied the mechanics of joints. Unfortunately, there's a lack of controls out there for humans, due to being bipedal. Walking through kinesiology, I saw through a glass wall a team of grad students trying to coax an emu onto a treadmill. My prof was in the background laughing.

[TANSTAAFL !B4cd7GdBWc No.1308877]

I had a professor who taught a machining class. On the day that people presented their final projects (Stirling engines, my year), he walked in dressed in a t-shirt and a utilikilt. Those of us who'd been late to class at least once had to sing "I'm a little teapot" on top of a table. The person whose stirling engine had the greatest number of rpms got picked up by the professor and carried around with one arm.

[Anonymous No.1308898]

>>1308877
is he fucking ill?

[Anonymous No.1308904]

>>1308757
my gen chem II professor this past spring popped into every day lab, took pictures of people and memorized the names of a good portion of the 200 person lecture i was in. it should be noted that he was also the head of the chemistry department, and was responsible for at least 400 students, probably more on the order of 600.

[Anonymous No.1310401]

>>1308119
Holy fuck did I laugh hard at this. I can only begin to imagine a japanese guy "A squarrre ruuute"
"A skruaaa yuut"
Fucking LOL

My own story involves a professor I had for a Greek and Roman mythology class - she had Tourettes.
Every second word she said she had this tick "UUYYYUUU"
"So then when Apro Uuyyyyyyuu - ditte left the mans chambers she uuuuyyyyyuuu had umm uhh umm uuyyyuuuu went back to the gods pregnant with his seed"
Holy fuck, was it hard to learn because of those constant interruptions from her tourettes. FUCK!


Another professor of mine, fucking Black guy, and a chemistry teacher, who even after 20 complains a semester would not get fired. (Head of the department was also a Nigger, but this was his only /b/lackup guy in Chem).
-Needless to say he was a dirtbag, never accepted late homework, unless a sexy bitch handed it in.
-He hit on every single girl in class, and when one was absent, he winked at them and told them to see him after school for a make up exam.
- He would teach you about the 3 states of matter. When a test came he would ask "how many states of matter are there?"
If you put 3, and list them. He would give you half credit and include "plasma, Einstein-Bose Condensate, and quark–gluon plasma" in a red pen. It was impossible to win with this bastard. You report him to the head of staff, and like I said, no action is taken.
AT the end of the year only 4 out of the 30 kids in class passed his class, and none exceeded the grade of 70 - 3 were hot chicks (I was the only male student to pass)

[Anonymous No.1310412]

>>1310401
Was this teacher Granger by chance?

[Anonymous No.1310427]

>>1310412
>>1310412
NYCfag? Holy fuck!
This is some incredible shit XD

[Anonymous No.1310439]

One of my main professors in CS for a number of classes invited his third year compiler class over to his house for a drinking party.

I got completely smashed at my professor's place.

[Anonymous No.1310453]

>>1310439
That sounds so fucking awesome.

[Anonymous No.1310461]

>>1310439
Fucking lucky anon.
Best I ever did was have my guidance councelor hook me up with my daughter in highschool.She really liked me, after I chilled in her office or a year or two during lunch breaks and talked. So eventually she told me her daughter was coming into this highschool the following year. This girl had a fucking amazing body, was involved in horseback riding, volleyball, and figure skating. We dated for a good year.

[Anonymous No.1310462]

>i had a organic chem professor who was a misogynist
Pretty much any old guy 40 years or older who is no longer married is a misogynist.

[Anonymous No.1310464]

>>1310461
>>1310461
hook me up with her*

[Anonymous No.1310467]

>>1310461
>>1310461
>>1310464
>Best I ever did was have my guidance councelor hook me up with my daughter in highschool.
I lol'd

[Anonymous No.1310468]

>>1310461

>my daughter
>my daughter
>my daughter
>my daughter

DAT FREUDIAN SLIP

[Anonymous No.1310469]

>>1310461
>>1310464
Freudian slip?

[Anonymous No.1310470]

I lived in a residence at the University of Alberta during my second year there, and since the drinking age was 18 and the university was dumb, they allowed you to more or less drink publicly anywhere in the building.

I took organic chemistry during the spring term, meaning that the only professors/TA's were pretty young, since the old (read: good) ones didn't want to work shitty hours all day. After the final, me and a few classmates convinced our "professor" (I think he was still a graduate student) to come back to the residence to celebrate. We all got completely loaded, and he ended up breaking a window on the second story and jumping out of it. As far as I know, he got fired for it and I don't know if he ever completed his degree.

[Anonymous No.1310484]

I had a fucking math professor who wrote <span class="math">\sqrt{x}[/spoiler] and 5x the exact same way. Shit was confusing.

[Anonymous No.1310499]

Had a fucking crazy ass punk teacher for Composition.

Arms covered in tattoos with guns knives, and all types of shit, and chest had other violent tattoo's.

He told us he dropped out of school in 10th grade, did his thing.

Got a GED, did well in the shitty college that accepted him, transfered to one of the top 25 schools in U.S.

Did well, and became a college professor. During classes he would stop a class right in the middle of a lesson and announce "I NEED TO SMOKE!" And he stood up, and let the class to go smoke outside. Class was completely shocked.

Being a college Composition teacher he got to pick whatever he wanted for the reading to be. And guess what, he made us read only about boarder line homosexuals, 1960's bull dykes, and the gay rights movements.

He didn't grade our papers either. Who did you might ask? His unemployed room mate he lived with, that went to college with him, graded our papers. And when he did, you could completely tell apart the handwriting.

He came to class once high off his ass on LSD, completely fucking out of his mind because he was at a party. Guess what -> He announced "Class is over... everyone go home" After a 20 minute class session of him sleeping on his desk.

His first paper, None of the students in the very bright college classroom he had, scored above a C+. He made grown women cry in class because of his harsh grading, as he remarked "The only way you're going to get an A in class is when you learn to write like me"
>>implying a freshmen level college class students should be able to write as good as English Graduate school professors.

He was a very badass professor, who was an all out punk, didn't give two fucks about anything.

[Anonymous No.1310516]

>>1310469
>>1310468
>>1310467
Wow @ the 67,68,69 consecutives
and fucking RAGE at my Freudian Slip... I really have some inner demons to confront -_-

Pic very related on how i feel.

[Anonymous No.1310520]

My signals lecturer was permentantly drunk, and had a hip flask in his jacket pocket from which he had ran a straw, taped to the inside of his jacket, up to his collar. When he thought no one was looking, he'd suck at his collar for a few seconds whilst pretending to look for a pen. Then he spent the next couple of minutes looking smug, as if he'd just pulled off the greatest con of all time.

It was painfully obvious.

During our final exam he was more hammered than normal, and it was impossible to decipher the signals he was sending for us to recognise and turn into a legible message, the whole point of the exam. Halfway through he dozed off and heatbutted the morse key.

We had a break for lunch, and we all said fuck it, and went to the nearest bar and sat in the sun for an hour drinking straight spirits, came back late, pissed. He took one look at us, waved us over to his desk, told us we'd all passed with at least 90% and shook our hands and then told us to get out.

What a guy.

[Anonymous No.1310541]

Oh man, back in high school, I had this kickass history teacher. Once, he decided to jump off his desk and elbow drop the pull-down map. He slips and we had to call emergency. We had to fill out his medical report and some guy wrote "Pwned by atlas" on the top. The principal was laughing at him. I think he had to get like 10+ stitches.

[Anonymous No.1310544]

>>1310516
You have been immortalized.

[Anonymous No.1310560]

>>1308877
Hey TANSTAAFL. Are you still obese?

[Anonymous No.1310589]

>>1310541
That sounds a lot like the beavis and butthead episode where their teacher gets ontop of a desk to cross his legs and meditate, and then falls on his face off the desk and breaks his neck XD

[Anonymous No.1310609]

Had a professor in college once who was a skinhead, who always wore a tie and even at 100 degrees outside, during those incredibly hot florida days, would always keep his sleeves down. The class always thought he was a skinhead neo-nazi trying to hide his tattoo's... to this day I've yet to find someone who's taken him and has seen his forearms or neck open.

[Anonymous No.1310808]

Our math professor was of half German and half British descent, and he spoke the most perfect and typical British accent you could ever imagine, except that he always said "ya" instead of "you" and pronounced the words "frequence" and "special" as "frequenz" and "spezial", in a German manner, which made his speaking sound bizarre.

His behavior was very irregular, and ironically his surname was Heisenberg.
One day our whole class was concentrating on his lecture, then he noticed a guy texting. He told the guy to stop texting. After about 5 min he got caught again, and the professor repeated. After 1-2 mins he was texting again and Heisenberg walked over to him and asked the guy to hand his cellphone to him, but he promised not to text anymore so he ignored the guy again.

About 3 mins after Heisenberg was deeply explaining derivative functions and how they work, then the guy's phone started ringing and the whole auditory was echoing from some Christian pop song. During that very moment, Heisenberg was drawing something on the chalkboard and at first he didn't seem to pay attention to the phone ringing. After the ringing stopped, he continued to draw, but in a more furious sense. He was pressing the chalk against the chalkboard with so much power that the chalk cracked and fell off. Instantly after that, Heisenberg turned around and yelled like a motherfucker "YA FUCKING WANKER!! GET THE FUCK OUT WITH THAT PHONE OF YOURS!"

After that he was calm again and continued the lecture. The guy stopped using the phone, also.

[Anonymous No.1310833]

>>1310808
Lucky britfags having epic professors. My Physics professor in college had the same water bottle every day that he brought to class. And he would drink it, and make a really cringed up face and blow out the breath he took before his sip of water. Fucker was bringing vodka to class.

[Anonymous No.1310834]

I had this Chinese professor from Paris teaching us the basics of Logic and he kept walking around while discussing. Also, he strokes all of the males' hair in a lecture. Shit's weird, but he's good.

[Anonymous No.1310847]

>>1310834
Was he Borat?

[Anonymous No.1310848]

My physics teacher made me ground a fluorescent light bulb with my hand.

I found out that day that My right hand has a weaker pain response from my left hand, and that a strong electric shock will lock up all the muscles in your arm into the pacman claw for at least half an hour.

Also I discovered my school had laden jars and he had a capacitor that was in the range of a Farad

Shit was so awesome, he was awesome and god damn I should have took physics for uni.

[Anonymous No.1310850]

>>1310516

Fucking lol, you redeemed yourself with that pic

[Anonymous No.1310852]

>>1310848
He made you break up a flourescent light bulb with your fist so you got your hand paralized? Sue the fucker

[Anonymous No.1310854]

>>1310461
>Hook me up with my daughter

[Anonymous No.1310856]

>>1310852
>Ground

Dumbass that means draw the charge from the bulb through you.

Shit was cool, I've done worse, I've grabbed red hot steel before.

Shit hurts for 5 seconds then the nerves start to die, but on the upside when I have a wank, perma stranger.

[Anonymous No.1310858]

And I'm in the UK we don't sue over dumb shit like that, besides it was fun.

Massive sort of snap noise.

[Anonymous No.1310859]

>>1310856

>but on the upside when I have a wank, perma stranger.

GENIUS

[Anonymous No.1310865]

>>1310856
Ever heard of Ground salt?

Well, I guess they let you out of that madhouse again you stupid son of a bitch. And I am also guessing you don't have many braincells left from the years of alcoholism and depression you lived through after finding out that your father was a homosexual and left your mother for a man. This is evident from you being retarded enough to go through self mutilation by inducing yourself into situations where you inflict pain on yourself. Sick fuck, you loved it didn't you.

[Anonymous No.1310873]

>>1310865
>Dumbass has never heard the phrase "electrical grounding"

[Anonymous No.1310889]

>>1310865
>>1310873

[Anonymous No.1310898]

>>1310889
Yes we're fucking mad.
Back to thread.

[Anonymous No.1310905]

Had a CS prof who had, for the last 3 years, consistently failed 45-70% of his students. Mind you he is consistently in charge of no less than three full (200-350) person lecture periods.

[Anonymous No.1310906]

>>1310898
Speak for yourself broheim I'm pretty content, I have cheerios.

[Anonymous No.1310911]

>>1310850
Thanks anon!

[Anonymous No.1310919]

>>1308177
And guy didn't proceed to crush prof?

Pussy.

[amb No.1310931]

>>1310865

[Anonymous No.1311655]

I've never personally had this professor, but there's a professor an Erdős number of 1 (he jokingly says it's fractional even). Paul Erdős would be at his house a lot and they would just do math together.

[Anonymous No.1311659]

>>1311655

*but there's a professor at my school with an

[Anonymous No.1311680]

My chemist friends had their finalists drinks with their tutors the other day in our college's SCR (senior common room, srs bsns)

Both tutors got fucking blindo and the head tutor, this old, normally an asshole of a guy, vommed all over the SCR sofas and onto a girl's shoes and passed out.

The porters were called to take him home but he refused to give them his home address, so they took him to his office and went to find the other tutor to ask him.

He was found wondering the quad with a bottle of wine in each hand.

shit was epic.

[Anonymous No.1311701]

first day of electrical engineering class it was 30 guys and 1 girl. The girl was actually looking for psychology and left. We all had a good laugh then got with the science

[Anonymous No.1311710]

>>1311701

and then got on with the orgy*

ftfy

[Anonymous No.1311721]

>>1311701

You mean you all banged each other in the ass, the primary activity of every engineer?

[Anonymous No.1311757]

>>1310865
sure is summer

[Anonymous No.1312408]

For our Capstone Project, our professor was really a "Guest Lecturer" who spent some time in industry as a manager. He had several patents to his name and was rumored to have gotten good grades as a student in engineering, but despite all this, the class had never once witnessed any engineering acumen from him. Anyways, one group was having a meeting with him to establish the criterion for success of their project. Apparently the conversation went something like this:
Student: "...so we need to ensure the tolerances are right so the piping doesn't leak under the high pressure."
Professor: "Alright. We'll call the test for this... dimensional analysis."
Student: "...Well, I suppose they are dimensions... and I suppose we are analyzing them..."

Once during a meeting he brought up the issue of radiation embrittlement for our project, and even though it wasn't very relevant, we were shocked by his display of technical knowledge. We mentioned this offhand to a classmate and she casually remarked "Oh, he knows about it because we told him about it!"

[Anonymous No.1312623]

>>1312408
duh fuck?

[Anonymous No.1312710]

>>1312408
So, entire class of geniuses doing their master projects and no one has the brains to report this teacher to the department for not knowing anything.

[Anonymous No.1312739]

My chemical engineering prof was quite a misogynist himself, always explicitly greeting, addressing or otherwise acknowledging only the male part of the lecture attentdants. One day, near the end of this semester we decided to see what his reaction would be if only women showed up to the lecture. Through the magic of modern communication we've managed to set this up with the male part of our group.

So here we are, females only, sitting in the room, and the prof comes in. He looks around, scratches his beard, says "What the hell, no one came?" and leaves.

[Anonymous No.1312760]

>>1312739
>>1312739
>>1312739
>>1312739
LMFAO!!!! that is SO AWESOME. I do not view women as my intellectual equals and this makes me laugh,,,,it is humorous to me.

[Anonymous No.1312770]

I once had this proffessor who was always drunk

he always drank alcohol

he was always intoxicated

and the class suffered for it

but i think he was a cool

yeah.

[Anonymous No.1312785]

>>1312770
>but i think he was a cool
>he was a cool
>a cool.

really?

[Anonymous No.1312866]

>>1308113
this just sounds like one of your daydreams.

[Anonymous No.1312882]

>>1308177
what an egomaniac.

[Anonymous No.1312932]

>>1312760
>THIS MAKES ME LAUGH
>IT IS HUMOROUS TO ME

[Anonymous No.1312945]

>>1312739
what country are you from?

[Anonymous No.1312961]

>>1312945
Japan

[Zax !!ve5x5/edawZ No.1312966]

>>1312961
lol, the shit that happens in Japan

[Anonymous No.1312970]

>>1308119
we had a german who didn't know the word "exam" but did know "examinings". Did we tell her? No. Did we laugh?

[Anonymous No.1312974]

>>1312970
Did you?!

[Anonymous No.1312982]

>>1312961
that's pretty funny. In America he would be fired.

[Anonymous No.1313052]

>>1312982
do you know what tenure is?

[Anonymous No.1313086]

>>1312739
Smart women are rare, but they're out there. I had a misogynistic professor who trashed women in my all-male class. One cellphone video and a talk with the dean along with other female math students, and he was gone.

[Anonymous No.1313093]

>>1313052
"Tenure" doesn't mean "you can't fire me." If they break college policy, they're out.

[Anonymous No.1313103]

I lived in Japan for years. You can still get fired for this.

[Anonymous No.1313108]

>>1313103
Got proof you lived in japan?

[Anonymous No.1313126]

>>1313108
Not without revealing my identity. I did not enjoy my time among those slant-eyed fucking gooks.

[Anonymous No.1313138]

>>1313126
You must be a newfag if you don't know how to conceal your identity

[Anonymous No.1313140]

>>1312945
Poland, but I'm a 31 old lady and the story took place around 1998. The prof was like 60 and we considered his quirks more hilarious than offensive. He also had a wife and five or six kids, each of them female, so eh, sorta justified maybe.

Note that I'm not >>1312961

[Anonymous No.1313143]

>>1313086
if he was a good teacher besides that I wouldn't have gotten him fired. Let the guy have his dumb opinions.

[Anonymous No.1313149]

>>1313138
How could I possibly prove I was a resident of Japan without revealing who I am? What does it have to do with anything?

[Anonymous No.1313171]

>>1313149
Thought so motherfucker, now stop trolling and talking about japan and their law without even living there.
>>Faggot Pretending to have lived in japan just so he can be part of a conversation

Your desperation is pathetic

[Anonymous No.1313177]

>>1313171
lol. what is wrong with you?

[Anonymous No.1313198]

>>1313086
Not really trashing though, it was obvious he was just having fun with it.

He was an excellent educator and became my advisor when I was working on my PhD. His advice and expertise proved invaluable and he didn't seem to act with any prejudice beyond jokes.

[Anonymous No.1313225]

>>1313171
Uh, I guess I could go scan my resident card but blur out ALL THE IMPORTANT INFORMATION THAT WOULD PROVE IT WAS ME. I could just as easily scan my wife's. (We relocated there for her work and I worked in a bilingual university program.)

Why would I act like I lived in slant-eyed shovelface faggotland if I hadn't actually gone there?

[Anonymous No.1313238]

>>1313171
Please prove you lived in Japan.

[Anonymous No.1313275]

>>1313238
>>1313238
No.

Also, ^ here's your chance to prove you understand english.

[Anonymous No.1313305]

Had a Physics prof once who, after serveral students had been messing with some demo's he'd prepared, left a few Leyden jars on his desk. Needless to say, couple of people touched 'em.

[Anonymous No.1313315]

>>1313225
not that i give a fuck where you live, but you could easily make a timestamp with the card and not give away any personal information.

[Anonymous No.1313353]

>>1313305
you mean Leiden jar?
as in the city Leiden

[Zax !!ve5x5/edawZ No.1313361]

>>1313353
Leyden jars get charged if I remember why, hence that prof wanted to zap em, and he did.

[Anonymous No.1313385]

>>1313361

I know, the correct name is Leiden jar

[Anonymous No.1313412]

Well for a change of pace...

I had a raging alcoholic female math teacher at the community college in my hometown before I transferred (she's finished her PhD since then, still helps me when I need it) who turned out to be a HUGE NERD. I think she was just as sexist as any male teacher I had and would say kinda cruel things if she KNEW you didn't study or try.

So one morning she was handing back a test, and just started nonchalantly RIPPING on everyone who flunked as she handed them out. She told some chick to either get married and "find a nice man to take her tests for you" or make some effort to learn the material, and told some fat neckbeard to "play less WoW." He probably shouldn't have worn that Blizzard shirt every day.

There was some guy continuously texting during class, she called him out on it a bunch of times before finally telling him to "get the fuck out" and not letting him back in to take a quiz.

[Anonymous No.1313413]

I once had a teacher who was Iranian, he was a dick.

[Anonymous No.1313432]

>>1313198
>>1313140
>>1313143

So then you think it's alright? You are the one that hurts the feminist cause.

[Anonymous No.1313448]

>>1313385

Outside of the netherlands it isn't
It's called Anglicisation.

[Zax !!ve5x5/edawZ No.1313451]

>>1313385
In English it's Leyden

[Anonymous No.1313453]

>>1313412
speaking as someone who doesnt try very hard because asshole parants and teachers I would have cracked and told that bitch that she would be better out in the street where she could no longer polute our horrible school system by encouraging even more meaningless stress and animosity between teachers and students, and blatantly enforcing the kind of route memorization attitude that handicaps our country up till we enter college and the real working environment, also you're a bitch and a whore.

[Anonymous No.1313481]

>>1313451
>>1313448

[Zax !!ve5x5/edawZ No.1313489]

>>1313481
Pleasure to be of assistance.

[Anonymous No.1313491]

>>1313451
You mean Old English.
We speak modern English here - aka American English.

[Zax !!ve5x5/edawZ No.1313499]

>>1313491
NO, JUST NO

[Anonymous No.1313505]

>>1313489

but wait is the city Leiden also called Leyden in English?

[Anonymous No.1313508]

>>1313453
I'm a male, and I'm sorry you gave up on life because people were mean to you. Enjoy never accomplishing anything.

The public school system would be much better off if the teachers were harder on the kids. She only cracked on the people who made NO EFFORT WHATSOEVER, and was always around to help. (Seriously, she stayed at the college until 10pm on some nights to help people prepare for finals.)

[Anonymous No.1313510]

I had a math prof who played starcraft. He sponsored the starcraft team and was apparently better than everyone else. Yes, he was asian. And he spoke perfect english too.

[Anonymous No.1313514]

>>1313505

Yes

[Anonymous No.1313521]

>>1313453
Enjoy never making it in anything. My uni teachers are 1000x more dickish.

[Anonymous No.1313546]

I had a math professor that took up favorites. The way you could tell is that she would be overtly nice to the "favorties" and "nice" in a very fake manner to the non-favorites. Obviously, whether someone was a favorite or not was based on grades so convieniently for her (I suppose) she handed tests back in order of decreasing grade. Since we were 8-10 people, we would pretty much knew who was flunking the class and who was rocking it. She was generally one of those self-contained bitches.

[Anonymous No.1313548]

>>1313453
while i understand this mentality, the only person you are hurting is yourself.

[Anonymous No.1313555]

The semester I decided to take real analysis, we got this insanely hardass professor who mainly taught PhD courses (he would teach analysis once every four years).

Final was worth 50%, homework 10% and midterms 20% each. He also said that if you were too miss more than 5 classes in the entire semester, he would autofail you regardless of grades. If you were to miss any exam with a valid reason, the makeup would be oral. Also, failing the final exam would also result in autofail.

I busted my ass during the first couple of weeks doing extra shit like typing up the notes for the recitations he would hold on weekends and posting them on the course website.

Roughly 3 weeks before finals, I found out that the research job I was hired for was no longer available due to funding issues. I spent the rest of my time looking for jobs and not doing schoolwork. I bombed the shit out of the final, but I wasn't too bummed since I still graduated and had changed the course to Pass/Fail at the last minute.

Two days after the final, I got an email from him telling me to meet him. He said he felt that I worked hard in the class and that since I was graduating he would let me retake the final exam over the summer (since this would be a retake the exam would be an oral one).

When I got to his office a month later to take the exam, he asked me the most basic shit imaginable for like 15 mins, and then said ok, thats good enough, want to grab a beer?

[Anonymous No.1313560]

>>1310848
>a farad

holy shit, i would cum buckets

[Anonymous No.1313567]

>>1313546
I had a teacher like this. I worked harder out of fear of humiliation.

Learned alot that semester.

[Anonymous No.1313597]

>>1313453
I should also drop in that she was very well-liked by 95% of her students. Only the bads hated her.

[Anonymous No.1313684]

>>1313597
>8-10 students
>95%
does not compile.

[Anonymous No.1314041]

>>1313555
One of my math teachers did something similar before I got my BA. She knew my circumstances (one of my parents died very suddenly after my midterm), gave me an extra attempt at my final that covered the most BASIC concepts in the class.

She knew I was really nervous before she graded it, so we walked to the bar near the school and she bought us both a couple of Shiners. She graded it at the bar, I passed with an 87. She wished me luck in life and shook my hand when I graduated.

She always seemed like one of those cold, bitchy women, but my respect for her species went up by a lot.

[Anonymous No.1314140]

I had a computer science professor who was really cool. He has been divorced, and at the start of every class he would talk about the latest stuff happening in his family and his kids and his girlfriend and whatnot before getting started with the lecture. It became kinda interesting after awhile because he was always telling us this stuff in a humorous way. If you asked him for help with a homework assignment, he would show you the actual source code he wrote. As the semester winded down he would give us more "library days" and cancel class, and took the class to the campus coffee shop and buy everything coffee. And he was always cool with turning in homework and exams late. Never rejects it or takes points off.

Awesome professor.

[Nick Danger !!FOoP572y+zs No.1314283]

I was taking biochem 3, a low graduate level course (some upper div students and a few entry level grad students). We had 3 professors teaching sections of the class. All was going well until we found out that we had a fourth teacher for one section, one of the professors wife. OK, she taught us fine, was a little inexperienced but whatever... then came her section exam. Fuck. The previous exams all had the same format of short answer multi choice and few more detailed questions. Hers contained 50% long ambiguous essay questions and multiple choice with about 7 options, a,b,c, ab (or ac or bc), all of the above or none. Most of the stuff was on minutia of the examples she had personally brought up for her practical experience, which no one paid much attention to, much less took detailed notes and studied thoroughly or were available in the text. No one got above a 75%. Much bricks were shat and even through the syllabus said no curve, we got a curve on that section of the course.

[F5 No.1314486]

>>1314140
>buy everything coffee

What, did you have some robots or aliens in your class?

[Anonymous No.1314555]

>>1308092
Oh,


Oh shit. Listen, don't let my hatred limit you.

You might figure out how all men might walk around with their dicks in a wheelbarrow.

[Anonymous No.1314601]

>>1314283
Many bricks were shat*

[Anonymous No.1314639]

as a high school freshman, I had this awesome physics teacher that would teach me physics after school and during free periods because I actually cared. On top of that, he was a fighter pilot in nam which is pretty badass. Unfortunately I had to move for my sophomore year so I never saw him again.

I also had a chem teacher who gave me all kinds of chemicals and nichrome wire and stuff. Perty cool.

[Raj !UkwasiBNaw No.1314753]

>>1314639

So.. what'd ya do with the nichrome wire? >.>

[Anonymous No.1314976]

bumping for more professor stories.

[Anonymous No.1315274]

One time, my professor let the whole class just talk about cool brain teasers/logic puzzles, and he would contribute too, and make guesses. It was a fun day.

[Anonymous No.1315322]

[Anonymous No.1315342]

Can /sci/ keep this thread alive for 72 hours?

[Anonymous No.1315360]

>>1308127
>philosophy "professor"
Empirical evidence or GTFO

[Anonymous No.1315379]

organic chem teacher was fluorine chemist

[Anonymous No.1315485]

>>1315342

Definitely

[Anonymous No.1315530]

On the subject of profs who have bad engrish, I had a professor that pronounced 'focus' as 'fuck us.' Fortunately no one explained why the class giggled every time she said that.

[Anonymous No.1315539]

>>1315530
>>1315530
Wasn't this from a movie?

[Anonymous No.1315556]

>>1315530
CMF?

[Anonymous No.1315588]

wow this thread is still alive

>>1310919
you're right
to this day I wish I would have done something instead of sit there with my mouth hanging open
it was an easy credit though and I needed it

this prof was an english teacher
he tried his damnedest to look and act like hemingway, but only ever mastered the arrogance

[Anonymous No.1315674]

Stuttering professor + "Cauchy–Schwarz" = many barely contained lulz

[Anonymous No.1315899]

>>1315674

Can only imagine. One of my professors had such a thick accent that nobody could understand him at all, but all he did was read the book, so we just read along.

[Anonymous No.1316022]

My biochem prof last quarter really liked beer. As in good micro brews etc. This doesn't sound so crazy only he openly talked about beer for like 20 minutes whenever he got the chance to even sort of mention anything somewhat related chemically/biochemically to it. Basically at least once a week we'd hear about it.

Yeah, he happened to also teach glycolysis that quarter (and with it fermentation).. pretty much that whole lecture was beer-oriented. I suspect he might have drank a few before teaching some classes..

During review sessions before exams he and his TAs would openly bring some beers up on the auditorium stage and drink them while going over questions. I don't think anyone bothered to report this, since those sessions were so fucking helpful that people just knew that they'd be irredeemable douchebags if they did.

[Anonymous No.1316023]

Bump for >>1315342

[Anonymous No.1316051]

>>1308127
I like those "whatever" types.
I was at a conference where my AE professor was presenting a new satellite system he had worked on.

And despite the warning of the chairman a cell phone goes of right in the middle of my professors presentation.

And so this happens while we are peering for someone with a phone:

*ring* "And as you can see on slide four-" *pickup phone* "sorry dear I have my presentation right now. Speak to you later. - the satellite has..."
And he did stuff like that all the time. He picked up lines of thought he had developed with us half a year later, right in the middle of the sentence.

[Anonymous No.1316073]

>>1308092
My Highschool Physics teacher showed of a Belt-Generator you know the conveyor belt thing with the metal bell on top. He had the thing running since for forever since it take him so long to explain how it works. When he was done he switched it of and was pointing with his finger at it : "And you got to be careful, there are about 10,000 Volts on it now..." Right at that moment he was hit by an electric arc in that very finger and I was laughing my ass of already when his scream of pain came out. Needless to say I got a mediocre grade that year but that picture was too funny.

[Anonymous No.1316078]

>>1308092
I only agree partially. It is feminism, not women per se, that is destroying the world and castrating men. They are female supremacists that want their personal views about the sexes to be government policy, but I don't believe in fighting feminism with male chauvinism. It needs to be fought with individualism and disproving the validity of collectivism.

[Anonymous No.1316083]

>>1316078
I agree. Warfare style lesbianism has nothing to do with equal treatment of the sexes.

[Anonymous No.1316116]

>>1314601

[Anonymous No.1316135]

>>1316078

Thought, it is an amusing show if you get a Chauvinist and Feminist to argue with each other.

[Anonymous No.1316136]

i know op's professor

[Anonymous No.1316173]

I had a professor that could barely speak English and actually preferred to teach and help the Chinese students because he then wouldn't have to speak English.

[Anonymous No.1316216]

>>1308109
>breech of contract
You mean people still use muzzle-loading contracts these days?

[Anonymous No.1316245]

I have had several awesome, not-awesome, and otherwise colorful professors.

The first awesome professor I got was a brazilian-born american (american parents and everything) who taught a course on linguistic anthropology. Fun course. He was interesting, he knew his stuff, and he had awesome stories. He spent a year with a tribe in Brazil learning about their culture and language, and his dad is arguably a master troll in the linguistic anthropology field (said father has a wikipedia page; Daniel Everett is the name). Said father studied the Pirahã, which are a tribe every linguist probably has heard of as the tribe that can't count to 3.
He once showed us a video of a 12 year-old girl who had to be rushed to a hospital in the city by helicopter, accompanied by her 13 year-old husband. All sorts of stories like that, awesome stuff.

[Anonymous No.1316256]

>>1316216

>breech
>muzzle loading

I see what you did there, you sly fellow.

[Anonymous No.1316283]

>>1316245

I also had a korean statics professor who liked to mutter under his breath in japanese (WW2 occupation, suppression of the korean language, etc.) One day during my 8AM class, he takes a pair of springy doodleboppers (the silly thingies attached to a headband) and says "Is this what I need to make you arr pay-a attention?" Guy's retired now.

There was one English professor who insisted on making us read the densest, most confusing philosophical bullshit for class. I dropped him in the first course, but since that class was a prerequisite for my major I had to take it again. He was the only one teaching it the next semester. As he continued spouting bullshit, I just spent my time on wikipedia, answered "no" to every question he asked me (he didn't ask yes/no questions), and never turned in a single assignment. One day after learning my favorite uncle died, I sent him a seething letter calling him on his bullshit. He was completely cool with everything I did, though, and I feel kind of bad hating on him.
Eventually, since I couldn't afford to fail the class, I scrounged something together for a final project and did well on it. During finals week I spent about a week making up 90% of the essays I missed. He gave me perfect marks for all of them, said it was some of the best stuff he ever read, and offered to give me recommendations for writing-related stuff.

I rock at essays.

[Anonymous No.1316308]

>>1316283

Oh, and before I forget: not one of my profs, but a friend of mine at Case Western Reserve told a story about a professor there who would take shits into students' bags when nobody was looking. The university was so hard-pressed for profs, they kept him. His name was Papacristo (or something; greek name) so people called him "poopycristo."

One of my physics professors was Romanian. His class was in a lecture hall, and he could not for the life of him control the volume of his voice. And he was hooked up to an amplifier. He also had a verbal tic; went "HM?" every 30 seconds (I counted; 101 times in a 50 minute period.) He'd say stuff like "So the CHARJISS... of the electrons are uh, uh, uh... QVANTIZED, HM?!" His whole body shook when he wrote on the chalkboard, and his handwriting was atrocious. His capital L looked like a 4, his lowercase L looked like a lowercase e.

[Anonymous No.1316339]

>>1316308
continuan
My DiffEqs prof was a woman of possibly hungarian origins (all I could find on her was a degree from texas, but she clearly was from eastern europe) who got really excited whenever she described the math involved. She would go on and on about how amazing it was and I swear she probably masturbates to calculus (before you ask, no she wasn't hot). A lot of the students were really uncomfortable with her level of enthusiasm, but she was an awesome prof. For one, she didn't grade homework. For two, TAKE HOME EXAMS, INCLUDING FINALS. I shit you not.

Which reminds me, the korean guy was infamous for strict grading, but the semester I had him he apparently got a TA to grade things who just went beyond that and failed everyone for slight infractions such as not writing the generic form of the equations we use. He bumped everyone in class up to an A or a B to compensate.

[Anonymous No.1316386]

>>1316339

And last but not least, my thermo professor.

He was a Malay man, tenured and the head honcho in his department. He wrote the book we used, which was 10 years old and had so many editorial mistakes that he had to post 20 pages of corrections on his site.
He was the most flaming man I have ever seen. I did not believe such a stereotypical gay existed outside of hollywood or san fransisco. He had his hands on his hips, wrists completely limp, his body wiggled oddly when he gestured, he spoke with an unmistakable lisp (which was pronounced even with his thick accent), he had perfectly styled hair, and he dressed positively FABULOUS. He came in one day wearing- I shit you not- a silver tie and a leather vest.
He also wrote engineering poetry. I am completely fucking serious. I read some of his work. There's no meter and the rhymes just don't work. He used to require his students to comment on his youtube videos where he'd read them aloud, but thankfully stopped before I got there.
That said, he was absolutely brilliant. He led several research projects at the university's wind tunnel, and published a paper about the relevance of the second law of thermodynamics to the human body and how it affected work output. (The data collection methods were admittedly shoddy, but the idea blew me away)

I got a D+ in that class, mostly because I studied the theory instead of the formulas. There was a test given at the beginning and end of each semester; some sort of standardized thing not included in the final grade where the goal was to get the class average score from 50% to 60%. I got 75% on the first one and 94% on the second (highest in the class). I bombed on the tests, though, because I couldn't remember which sigma meant what where.

[Anonymous No.1316446]

I had a chemistry professor with a slight Russian accent. He was a good instructor and his notes were always helpful.

The best part about him was that he would get bored with teaching around the end of class, and would always perform some awesome experiment. So about half of our classes ended with something igniting/detonating. Good times.

[Anonymous No.1316506]

>>1316386
Amazing contribution anon!

Also -> Balance okChecking if the thread exists: 1308092
The thread has been found, continue processing.

adding thread to thread table.
Trying to get the thread 1308092

Now downloading the images of the thread in the background and keeping track of changes in the thread.

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THIS HAS BEEN ARCHIVED!

[Anonymous No.1318257]

>>1316506

Nice man. And on topic. I had a physics professor back in middle school, and we were making bottle rockets. When we went to launch them, he hadn't mounted it correctly, and it shot off right into this kid I didn't like's leg. He had a big bruise there. Was a fun day. Plus my groups rocket was awesome

[Anonymous No.1318771]

Bumping for awesome thread

[Anonymous No.1318970]

Bump for >>1315342

[Anonymous No.1319324]

>>1312710
We all just joked the school did it on purpose so we would have experience dealing with managers.

>>1312623
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dimensional_analysis

[Anonymous No.1319889]

I had a Biology teacher in high school who, if we asked him about SAT-prep courses [in my country], would talk about that shit all class long.

Also, he liked to spin us yarns of the hardships he'd endure to take shits in poor ass places.
Like taking a dump in a desert in Bolivia.
He'd squat and a huge truck would come down from over the hill and he'd quickly stand up and wave/swear.

[Anonymous No.1320561]

>>1319889

wut....?

[Anonymous No.1321651]

>>1319889

Why was he in Bolivia?

[Anonymous No.1321914]

Bump for >>1315342