/sci/ - Science & Math

[Anonymous No.12247359]

/sci/, I think I have either bipolar II or cyclothymia, but both my psychiatrist and my psychologist say otherwise and their reasoning doesn't make sense

long story short, I have depressive episodes and I have episodes with increased mood, rapid speech, racing thoughts, and heightened creativity, but no negative side-effects. Wikipedia says that's hypomanic episodes, but both treatment providers insist It's not hypomania, but refused to provide explain what it is. When pressured, they start telling me it's excitement, but that's completely wrong. It's far too intense. It's extremely obvious to me and everyone else around me that it's an altered mental state, but they just tell me I'm too depressed to recognize my own excitement

I feel like I'm being gaslighted, and it's not like the people I'm seeing are mormons or scientologists. Something isn't right, but I don't know what it is

[Anonymous No.12247440]

bumping

[Anonymous No.12247587]

>>12247359
Remember that the people you are seeing are (1) slightly above average intelligence and will probably just tell you what they learned in school and (2) your reality is subjective and no one can truly experience it.
Now I would be careful since maybe during an episode you just can't realize the negative things you are doing, and they are professionals. I would get some more opinions from other people

[Anonymous No.12247630]

>>12247359
Welcome to the human experience. Experiences may vary. It's up to you to understand, organize, and regulate the energies inside of you. Diet and stress are major components to focus on.

[Anonymous No.12247733]

>Now I would be careful since maybe during an episode you just can't realize the negative things you are doing, and they are professionals

that's the thing. When I'm hypomanic – or when I think I'm hypomanic – I only ever have the positive symptoms. No drugs, no gambling, no fuck-ups or risky life decisions. I just get smarter and happier, so much more so than any during any other positive period I ever experience.

they say that because I don't have those negative symptoms I'm not bipolar, which I could buy except they don't have a name for what I'm experiencing and act like I'm not capable of understanding my own goddamn fucking emotions

[Anonymous No.12247801]

>>12247733
whoops, forgot to (You) >>12247587

[Anonymous No.12247942]

>>12247733
I feel you anon, my mom was diagnosed with full blown bipolar disorder. Her manic episodes she acts really high energy, paranoid and has poor impulse control, while her depressive episodes has her in bed weeks at a time. I'm pretty sure I'm cyclothymic as well. My manic episodes can either be high anxiety or extended periods of feeling good and slightly worse impulse control. Shes on a full blown cocktail of meds, I've noticed that I keep my symptoms in check with highish doses of omega 3 (5g daily), d3 and ashwagandha. I would try exercise and supplementation before trying to get prescription meds personally, I've seen what psych med tinkering looks like and it ain't pretty.

[Anonymous No.12247979]

>>12247359
Cycles are natural, form ones you can feel rested when you wake up, and still work effective while you're tired, dedicate some time to wake idling, but not idling like having tough or whatever, but having presence of control in mind. Think about thinking and watch how you think, try to normalize and min/max at same time. Remember what you want.

[Anonymous No.12247994]

>>12247359
How often do you have these episodes, how long do they last? What does people around you think of them?

[Anonymous No.12248002]

>>12247942
>ashwagandha
Do you midwits ever get worried about needing dialysis in the future?

[Anonymous No.12248038]

>>12248002
??? First google search shows that it lowers cytokine induced kidney damage in a study from 2015
Do you need help understanding scientific studies brainlet?

[Anonymous No.12248044]

>>12247942
I don't even get the anxiety or impulse control. my life just gets better in every possible way. it's such a weird situation that talking it out here I'm almost starting to understand what my therapists are saying.

It's like at my baseline I'm profoundly happier than everyone else around me, but I also have depression on top of that canceling it out and bringing me back down to neutral, so I think that's my normal state. Then when I'm actually experiencing minor depression, it's because my depression is actually in a state of overdrive strong enough to kill a bull elephant, and when my depression goes away I think I'm experiencing hypomania when instead I'm experiencing the rare absence of low-level depression.

>>12247994
these episodes of "hypomania" are pretty inconsistent. Sometimes I can go a year without experiencing them and then experience them for months on end. Other times I can be "hypomanic" for two hours and then immediately drop into depression

When I experience them, the only negative symptom other people notice in me is grandiose thinking, but because of how I live my life, grandiose for me isn't "I'm going to quit my job and become a millionaire farming emus", it's "I'm going to write a fantasy novel for fun" and then I just do it and it actually turns out good and I don't learn the lesson I'm supposed to because me giving in to a mental instability made my life better, not worse

[Anonymous No.12248061]

>>12248044
I mean it doesnt sound like such a bad thing anon, it could be a manifestation of cyclothymia, I'd look to your close family members and see if they have any mood disturbances. That could give you a hint or two.

[Anonymous No.12248102]

>>12248061
It doesn't sound bad at first, but imagine every so often you got superpowers for anywhere from a few hours to a few months. Getting and experiencing those periods is such an incomparable high, that you can't help but crave it, even when your life is generally going okay. Being happy isn't good enough because once you realize that you could be an order of magnitude above happy, mere happiness has is unsatisfying

put another way, imagine at home you mostly just drank water, and on special occasions your parents let you have la croix, but then one day you taste soda for the first time and realize you could have been having that all this time instead of what amounts to seltzer with perfume in it. Would you ever want to drink la croix again?