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/sci/ - Science & Math

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11299574 No.11299574[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

I just wanted to thank you for the joys that math and this board gave me, it was a haven in this dark and cruel life. Thanks. It's ok if it gets deleted, If at least one person here can read my final feelings, it's enough. Live on for me, /sci/.

>> No.11299607

>>11299574
Don't do it. Live on with us.

>> No.11299613

>it was a haven in this dark and cruel life.

/sci/ is pretty bad too.

>> No.11299619

>>11299607
It's too late for me, I tried for as long as I could, it's ok though, I'm quite serene. Anyway, I'm not here to complain about my problems, this is just my final farewell to the only board that gave me some joy, I'm only waiting for this thread to get deleted to jump.

>> No.11299623
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11299623

K

>> No.11299625

>>11299619
Have you sought help from others?

>> No.11299628

>>11299619
you better have piano wire around your neck and your hands superglued to your head

>> No.11299632
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>>11299619
LIVE DAMN YOU
LIVE
;-;

>> No.11299634

>>11299625
I don't think anyone could help me.

>> No.11299639

>>11299634
I don't know your situation, so I can't say how severe it is, but from experience, if you ask for a hand people will lend it.

>> No.11299644

>>11299634
>>11299639
And by your answer, you imply you haven't asked for help. Before doing something drastic, please consider asking for help, either from friends or professionals.

>> No.11299659

>>11299634
You're here for a reason.

>> No.11299662
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>>11299639
I actually just really wanted to be alone, but the people around me are so stressful, they don't leave me in peace, is it so wrong to want to be alone? No one can understand. I feel so tired. I've living under really stressful conditions for more than six months now, this is my limit.

>> No.11299663
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>> No.11299666
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>> No.11299669
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>> No.11299672
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11299672

the gnome tells you not to do it

>> No.11299673

>>11299662
Is this the only exit available from your situation? Again, I don't know the details of your situation, but in most cases there are exits less drastic. What is the source of your stress? School? Work? Something else?

>> No.11299674
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>> No.11299676

>>11299574
Sorry you couldn't find happiness anon. I hope.you decide not to go through with it.

>> No.11299677
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>> No.11299684
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>>11299574
Watch Serial Experiments Lain or Ergo Proxy.

I'm also reminded of the name of a track on one of the Eva soundtracks. "False clarity".

>> No.11299685
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>> No.11299686

>>11299625
>>11299634
>>11299659
Listen to your own subconscious. You made this thread, so you are still seeking connections with what's outside you (be it things, concepts or people).
If you're dead set on doing it, you could just as well dedicate yourself to doing whatever the fuck you find to be meaningful instead, without any regard for your own safety or success. If you already consider yourself dead, all bets are off, you're truly free.

>> No.11299689
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alright i finished fapping let's do this

>> No.11299691
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>>11299662
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hIoPlLEXM2Y

>> No.11299692
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>> No.11299695

>>11299673
>>11299662
Seconding this guy's question. You can just say fuck it and do what you feel needs to be done, or whatever you think is right or necessary for you to lower your stress levels. Fuck responsibilities, start from scratch and find out what's in your head. A good therapist (a psychiatrist or psychologist, not an untrained idiot) is great to help us find out what's going on in our heads.

>> No.11299697
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>> No.11299699
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>> No.11299700

By the way, if you want to speak, I think we can all find a way of doing a conference call and listen to your story a bit and maybe deconstruct some misconceptions that might be leading you to the wrong conclusions.

>> No.11299701

>>11299673
I'll tell briefly, my family is killing me, they want me to be someone that I am not, they blame me for not being normal, I have asperger so childhood and teenage years were pretty hard, but I liked the loneliness, the problem is that my family never accepted it and wanted me to be 'normal', they criticized me when I chose math instead of engineering, they criticized me because I didn't have any girlfriends, they criticize me for a lot of things that I don't even care about, but are important to them. And it's getting really worse, I just wanted to live alone, in peace, without stress. I thought of getting a job in teaching somewhere, but there are always better candidates, so no one hires me. I thought of getting a job not related to math or physics, but that would mean dedicate time to something that I don't wanna do instead of dedicating time to research. I don't want to work in an underemployment. That's all, I'm quite tired, I feel a little sad not living long enough to see the Riemann Hypothesis getting proved.

>> No.11299702
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>> No.11299704
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>> No.11299706
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dont do it man, stay with us. here read something interesting to occupy your mind https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Collision_detection

>> No.11299709
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>> No.11299712

>>11299574
pussy soiboi, you will just have to come back and do it all over again kek

>> No.11299714
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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bicameralism_(psychology)

>> No.11299720
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>> No.11299721

>>11299701
Have you talked about this with your family? Have you talked with them about wanting to end your life because of this?

>> No.11299722
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>>11299701
leave them faggot, stop letting external forces run your life, this is just the catalyst to push you to your destiny of a higher awareness. You must embrace ti to evolve you little faggot stop crying and get to work.

>> No.11299724

>>11299701
There are a lot of things you can study to get intellectual fulfilment. Do you NEED someone to validate what you're doing or to pay you for it? Just fucking do whatever you want to, and start to slowly think of a way of having turn into a source of income. There are a lot of practical problems that could use a mathematical approach to optimizing it, but that ultimately would probably involve writing some kind of software or library.

Also, you should come clean to your family about those things you mentioned about them. And if they're really inflexible, just cut contact with them, it might be just what you need to improve your mental health and have time to think about your situation more clearly.

>> No.11299725
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>> No.11299727
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>>11299701
You will forgive me. I am going to lose my mind for a few seconds from the sheer anger reading
this has caused me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y8j4oaYYKTg

>> No.11299731
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>> No.11299734
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>> No.11299739
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>> No.11299741

>>11299701
Let me show you what you should be studying, cracking the codes of reality itself. Everything is child's play. Get to work on this

http://esotericawakening.com/what-is-reality-the-holofractal-universe

>> No.11299743
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>> No.11299749
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>> No.11299753

>>11299721
I say it all the time, they don't think I'm serious.
>>11299722
It's easy to say, I've thought of leaving them all the time, but I've been living with these people for 24 years, deeply I love and care about them.
>>11299724
No, I don't care about validation from others, but in this world you can't only do the things you love, you have to work, but I can't find work in math and I won't do anything unrelated to it, that would destroy me completely. Life is really hard.

>> No.11299755
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>> No.11299761
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>>11299574
Don't do it, you can't post cute Remis in hell.

>> No.11299764
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>> No.11299767
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>> No.11299769
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>> No.11299771

It's really funny, huh? I've made threads about math in the past thinking they would have lots of replies, but they didn't. Then I made this thread thinking it would be deleted after 5 replies or so and there's already far more. It gives me some joy talking to people here, this place really was a haven.

>> No.11299773
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>> No.11299776

>>11299753
You know that by ending your life you would leave your parents in more pain than if you were to do anything else. If you love your parents, please just move out and nurture this love from a distance. You are too young to die, and the best solution available to you is to just move away from them. Ending your life cannot be an option.

>> No.11299781
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>>11299771
you can only talk about math so much and it's pretty hollow. gotta implement the philosophical side for the whole picture

>> No.11299782

>>11299771
>I've made threads about math in the past thinking they would have lots of replies, but they didn't.
Can you give an example?

>> No.11299784
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>> No.11299787

>>11299753
Yes, you can do just the things you love, you idiot, styip believing in myths people put inside your tiny brain. In you are going to kill yourself, that's literally the end. Just assume you're dead already and say fuck it and do whatever the fuck you want, it's better than killing yourself. In your case, you don't even desire to do destructive things, but constructive things, so it's actually a positive reaction to free yourself from the stupid myths in your head.

>> No.11299788
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>> No.11299791
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>> No.11299795
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>>11299701
>Normal
There you are. Sitting atop a mother earth, her veins pulsing with fire and magma from a heart made of a literal molten metal core, whos rhythm and pulsations birthed the lives of those you see around you in a series of events that can only be described as 'miracle', and they have the gaul to define themselves as "normal". I have but one thing to say to that. *pic related*

>> No.11299797

>>11299771
Stack exchange is probably the better place to post math questions. Or just literally find math meetups and go and talk with people. Those things actually exist.

>> No.11299800
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>> No.11299803

>>11299701
Offer online math teaching for cheap. Fiverr is maybe a good place for that.

>> No.11299804
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>> No.11299808

>>11299753
So you are willing to sacrifice everything you want from life for what they want you to do in life? Then you have no one to blame but yourself my dude, simple as that.

>>11299771
Join a discord server fag if you just want people to chill and chat with instead of this gay af place

>> No.11299810
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>> No.11299818
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>> No.11299822

>>11299808
>So you are willing to sacrifice everything you want from life for what they want you to do in life?
What else can I do? I don't want to live with them anymore, I want to be alone, but life won't let me, no one hires me so I can get some money for my expenses, I'm not working in an underemployment, I would probably go mad having to do repetitive labor for 6h or 8h, I wouldn't have time for any research. It's too hard having to endure it for years and it only gets worse and worse by the time.

>> No.11299826

>>11299574
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wSPv9eqdK4

>> No.11299832

Hi, anon. If I were you, I'd choose to stay. I know you think otherwise, but there are still good things waiting for you in the future. If you do it, you'll just miss all those moments that you could've lived. I know it's asking a bit too much, but trust me. Please.

>> No.11299835

>>11299662
>>11299701
>wants to kill himself because he wants to be 'alone'
>can't handle stress for over six months because family
You sound like the biggest bitch right now. How in the holy fuck would you make it with a math degree if you can't handle stress for only six months, all because your family doesn't like what you're doing. I can already tell the kind of future you will have: dropped out of grad school, working trade or entry job, still browsing 4chan because you were too much of a sissy to kill yourself after multiple attempts and threads like this one.

Grow up kid, shrug off the criticism, it means nothing to you in the long run. Because at the end of the day, the only person that can change you is you. Dick

>> No.11299836
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>> No.11299838
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>> No.11299840
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>>11299822
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zmwk_OiUtxQ

>> No.11299841
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>> No.11299843
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>> No.11299844
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>>11299835
It feels like you’re both an asshole and an inspiration. A true anomaly.

>> No.11299847

>>11299822
So far you've said that people wouldn't hire you in teaching. Fine, keep trying. In the mean time, work in an underemployment so you have enough money to get away from your family. This will relieve you of the stress which is making you consider suicide. With this burden removed, you'll have the clarity of mind to plan for the future you want.

>> No.11299846
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>> No.11299851

>>11299841
>>11299843
>>11299846
based gifposter

>> No.11299853
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>> No.11299857

have you thought of making a DevianArt account instead?>>11299850
>>11299846
>>11299841
>>11299838
>>11299836

>> No.11299858
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>> No.11299864
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>>11299857
no im a retard i just mire the fuk outta these gifs

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>> No.11299870

>>11299858
hey, ive seen that one before!

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>>11299870
hell ya

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>> No.11299930

>>11299701
Fuck normalfags. If they’re not willing to be supportive, cut them off like a dead branch.

>> No.11299932
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>> No.11299935

>>11299753
Just FYI you can have a small part time job and study math

>> No.11299937

>>11299574
could you do something for me?
before you do it take a big dose of lsd please, i can guide you through the process of buying it from darknet if you don't have access to it

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>> No.11299959
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Is this fag still here?
Listen here u lil shit.
You think you can just hop outta life that easily? Fug no. You aren't the only one with problems kid, a lot more have it a lot worse. You just don't know what to do and you see this as your only means of escape.
Do yourself a favor, don't fucking an hero, get a job and find a way to make your own living in life. If your folks put you down like that, then fuck them. I'm the same way you are anon, but on top of all that, I got the weight of being a massive failure in their eyes. So, I ditched them, found my own place and never spoke to them again. I'm my own person now and that freedom is worth whatever amount of discomfort and pain that comes with it.

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>> No.11299990

>>11299959
thoroughly based, OP is a soiboi

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TIEM FOR A BOWL OF CORN LOL

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>> No.11300014

>>11299574
lmao I'm a tourist to this board and it's hilarious that you smarties still get depressed. If your IQ is soooo damn high when why are you depressed? Can't yo get an easy (for you) STEM job and make boatloads? ahahaha

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>>11300014
LOL SHUT THE FUCK UP

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>> No.11300027

>>11299574
What's your suicide method? Asking for a friend

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>> No.11300041

>>11299574
Goodbye.

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>>11300014
>If your IQ is soooo damn high when why are you depressed?
Not high enough nigga lmao

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>> No.11300055

>>11300052
> I'M SORRY MITTENS, BUT I JUST HAVE TOO MANY GODDAMNED CATS

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>> No.11300088

>>11299574
Start drinking from a copper mug. Or throw copper coins in your drink and let them react. It will wake you up.

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>> No.11300107

>>11299674
>>11299677
>>11299685
Whoever you are, you deserve a medal

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>> No.11300136

>>11300014
We're still working on a final solution to the Midwit Question

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>> No.11300142

Suicide is natural selection and kills the stupid, now fuck off and stop spamming this thread

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>>11299999

>> No.11300144
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alright op this is the last 1 fir a little bit. i gotta smoke some weed and wander around outside barefoot a little and then make some tea. i'll be back to unload more provided this thread isn't bawleeted and im not banned LOL

>> No.11300157

>>11299574
bro, death is a guarantee
no need to force it

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>>11299574
Look here fren, I've been in your shoes many times. Poor all my life, a failure, and a controlling environment.

I often wish for a painless fading, not gonna lie. Then again, what else do we have? If you die, that's it. We don't know what happens thereafter anon.

Work anon, work hard. Create your own little space, and leave behind what you loathe, both literally and figuratively. You can do it anon.

I wish I could meet irl, I'd talk with you.

Don't do it, atleast give yourself a good time before you go.

>> No.11300165

>>11300157
>>11300162
>still replying to OP
come on, he either already offed himself and if not he was being a drama queen and doesn't deserve replies

>> No.11300169

Ay if ur still alive in 5 years give me a call. You can join me on my boat.

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>>11299999
You're a beacon of calm in a sea of madness. Check'd!

>> No.11300186

>>11299574
if you decide to end it anon, that's on you, but do one thing before you go, ok?

Try meditating, like a proper monk or some shit like that. It might give you a weird feeling, its worth feeling at least once in your life.

If you still want to end it then, make sure to get a high score on the "Save Europa" game.

>> No.11300226 [DELETED] 

i hear you OP. i'd encourage you to live if you weren't a larper.

anyway i dedicate mine in protest of spies, saboteurs, and foreigners in academia. the technical details make me a bit uneasy, but i'll get over it.

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>>11300172
hell ya nice contribution anon

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>> No.11300256

fukkin killed it, hell ya. your thread is done OP. enjoy

>> No.11300260

>>11299574
Catch you on the flip side.

>> No.11300939

>>11299574
>>11299619
>>11299634
>>11299662
>>11299701
>>11299753
>>11299771
>>11299822
You remind my of myself. As you I have asperger, psychologically abusive family, love math and have had real trouble finding a way to sustain myself in this society that seems to be so inept at tapping the incredible potential of those who simply need to spend a lot of time alone. I have contemplated offing myself almost every day for the last 5 years, and the only thing that stops me is the fact that I have unfinished business. Do you have unfinished business? Do you have some plans for a project that would just make you full of joy to see come to life? Even if the only people that could immediately appreciate it was people as rare as you? If you can make future people like you happy and show them how to live, then you could potentially save many more lives than just your own. And I believe this would be a feat, because I know what wonderful things people like you and me have to offer if they are given some freedom and solitude.

>> No.11300954

do a flip

>> No.11300985

So, is he dead?

>> No.11300989

>>11300985
it doesn’t matter

>> No.11301030

>>11300989
LOL IT NEVER DID HE BETTER'VE DONE A MOTHER FUCKIN BARREL ROLL OR 0 POINTS LOL

>> No.11301033

>>11301030
Attachment to mortal beings is irrational, I harbor no ill will towards OP outside of wanting him dead for creating another shit thread on my (Natural) Science(s) and (Pure) Mathematics board.

>> No.11301050

>>11299574
Nobody cares, kill yourself.

>> No.11301052

>>11301033
chek'd

>> No.11301063

>>11300172
>>11300234
>>11300236
>>11300239
>>11300245
>>11300248
>>11300250
kys next

>> No.11301072

>>11301063
nou

>> No.11301103

Check em

>> No.11301463

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wjMf_bEfqIc

>> No.11301472

>>11299619
>PLS bumb my thread
I hope that OP jumped.

>> No.11301483

>>11299701
I don't know if you are religious, but know that there is a being that cares about you. Everytime you think you are alone God is there to help you, and this is enough for you to start being free, because you will not have to stress with anything because you know that whatever happens, God will be there for you. I wish the best for you and God bless you.

>> No.11301489

>>11301483
Will he increase my IQ?

>> No.11301499

>>11299659
The only innate purpose to life is survival.

>> No.11301512

>>11299663
>http://esotericawakening.com/what-is-reality-the-holofractal-universe
>>11299666
>>11299669
>>11299685
>>11299692
>>11299689
>>11299699
>>11299702
>>11299704
>>11299709
>>11299714
>>11299720
You are a beautiful human being.

>> No.11301515

>>11301512
accidentally greentextd my copied link. I'll read it, anon >>11299741

>> No.11301519

>>11301499
>he never entered thrival
>he never used thrival to eliminate survival
>he never found the secrets to the omniverse
Based.

>> No.11301521

>>11301512
Imagine samefagging this hard

>> No.11301524

>>11301521
Image limit reached, can't show the (You)... that is missing.

>> No.11301945

>>11299574
I want neither you nor this thread to die

>> No.11302179

>>11301945
I'm alive brah, I'm too weak to end myself after all, but my situation is still pretty dire, I really wish it will change in the near future, living like this is pretty sad.

>> No.11302195

>>11302179
Things don't change by themselves. There's no guarantee you'll be successful in your attempts, but if you don't try it, everything is sure to stay the same. Good luck.

>> No.11302287 [DELETED] 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eCuVxyM137k

>> No.11302288

>>11299574
Biofag here, have a kid with a native. Your genes are a gift of nature/god

>> No.11302403

death by comf
AAAAAAAAAHHH
I'M COMMMFFFFYYYYYYY
NOOOO AAAHHH

>> No.11302455

>>11302288
Based and checkedpilled

>> No.11302467

>>11299574
Don't do this, anon. Please.

You just haven't gotten what you deserve. You know you deserve it. You studied so much, you're gonna make it.