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11210418 No.11210418 [DELETED]  [Reply] [Original] [archived.moe]

My mother was pestering me about going to therapy because i am 24 year jobless loser. Suddenly i lost control over my emotions and started yelling really loud while crying. Mother dont want to talk to me, which is not surprising, myself i have trouble understanding my reaction. What the fuck is wrong with me? This is so famous nervous breakdown? Is this depression? My mother is old and i dont want to make her cry. I am so frustrated because i cant get job i want, but its no reason to act like that

>> No.11210422

Just tell her that her generation destroyed the economy and that is why jobs don't pay enough to live and everything is unaffordable.

>> No.11210425

>What the fuck is wrong with me?
You're an autistic retard who also can't tell the difference between /sci/ and /adv/.

>> No.11210440

Just go to therapy man

>> No.11210473

i just want to be programmer so i stay all day on computer solving leetcode-type puzzles till i bruteforce my way into junior position. She seems unable to understand that, she says i am sick because i have no friends, i dont go out of house, i am so fixed on this shit.
When it comes to theraphy - well maybe i would try if its some group one, but then i would be forced to attend this group theraphy every week and pay for that. After year they would say "year is too short! you need to attend theraphy longer", and then i am slave to theraphy. I would not be able to exit therapy, because it would again hurt my mother. I hate feeling like i am forced to do something, like i am enslaved by my mental illness. Even worse that mental state is such a invisible matter. I can go to therapy or take pills a year and still not feel like it helped me in any way, because its such a subtle matter, and you can never be objective in assessing your mental state.

>> No.11210487

i mean if you learn math or shit for a month then you can say "i can do this this and this. I have problem with this and i dont understand this concept. I need to work on that more!". With mental state its different, i dont feel happy or sad anymore i am just dead inside. I think thats why i am opposed to idea of wasting time and money on therapy. I dont give a fuck about how i feel, i just need a damn job

>> No.11210503

You need medication dude, like get on some and try to work as perhaps a security guard or go to a place that helps the disabled get job experience. If it doesn't work out than take your diagnosis and apply for NEET bucks. There are plenty of resources out there anon, you just have to look. Your ignorance will be forgiven but you have to try anon, you have to be on your feet to be able to care for your mother and when the time comes, provide for yourself.

>> No.11210505

My parents gave up on me years ago. Feelsgoodman

>> No.11210511

Another suggestion is structure in your life, for me it was the Catholic Church that did it. For friends maybe chill at park and converse with folks, or perhaps join some kind of club that peeks your interest.

>> No.11210524

>locks yourself in your room and programs all day
that's the problem

I get you want a programming gig, but you're already burning out by ignoring your human needs. You need to go outside and socialize, get a part-time job at the very least. You can't just spend all your time programming and expect that to be fine

t. someone who did the exact same thing and ended up in the same spot

>> No.11210534

Being a programmer on a real project is a social activity

>> No.11210538

well, so you did not managed to get programming job? I want to at least get something IT related. I am 24 years old, if i give up and go work to retail or something i will never get job i want. What do you mean "get a part-time job"? I doubt i can get retail or call-center whatever job even if i tried because of lacking social skills, i am not very nervous on interviews, but i am very stiff and autistic

>> No.11210557

get any kind of part-time job.
Having any job is better than no job, especially when you apply for other jobs.

I used to "make websites" for small businesses who wanted sites, and would just use building block websites like Wix, or Squarespace. While doing this I studied real website building with code, so I not only had an income but experience as well as references. You'd be surprised how much people will pay for a cookie cutter website that took you 20 minutes to make on Squarespace.

You need also need proof of experience with coding. Build up your github profile with projects. Most of all though, go outside. give yourself a break every once in a while. Humans are not machines

>> No.11210572

You need mental treatment. You are afraid of it, therefore you are making up reasons to not seek help ("mind is subtle" "i don't care about my feelings").
But it is the way out. And it will take a lot of bravery and humility to accept that you need help and fucking listen to your mom, who is right. You should do it before it's too late. Nobody knows perfectly how to manage ther own problems. Most people just don't come into the problems that would depress them. You did. Don't be ashamed and seek help.

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