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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/sci/ - Science & Math

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11085589 No.11085589[DELETED]  [Reply] [Original]

I just masturbated in the bathtub.

>> No.11085598

You hear this a lot: "A thread died for this." While accurate, this phrase generally carries no weight. But just this once, if you would do me a favor and hear me out, it would do all of us a lot of good.

A. Thread. Died. For this. You woke up this morning, poured yourself a bowl of Faggot Flakes, moistened them with your impotent Faggot prostate milk (which IS in fact impotent, because you're a fucking faggot) and, within seconds, decided that today of all days would be the time you decide to cut your synapse firing quota by just a little too much.

So you hopped online, carved out this uninspired chicken scratch, probably failed the captcha once for every strand of peach fuzz on your half-empty sack, and clicked Submit.

At that moment, a thread died. A thread that could have been bumped. A thread that could have been resurrected with content, or valuable discourse between its denizens. Hell, it could've even been bumped for absolutely no reason. And that would've been okay. Because, had it survived, a few more seconds could have been spent without having had your abortion of a post been born in this world. Sage.

>> No.11085604

>>11085598
I read this in Jordan Petersons voice

>> No.11085606

unironically the best thread on /sci/ right now

>> No.11085613

>>11085598
The thread was a failure until you posted this masterpiece. That's the best damn copypasta I've ever read.

>> No.11085620

>>11085613
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

>> No.11085658

>>11085589
A thread died for this.
>>11085598
Fpwp.

>> No.11085659

Based

>> No.11085698

>>11085589
I just masturbated in the mathtub

>> No.11085715

>>11085698
>not mathurbated
you had one job

>> No.11085718

>>11085620
Okay dude first off,
1) A REAL Navy Seal wouldn't go around bragging about his accomplishments and possibly reveal his identity.
2) The United States isn't a totalitarian regime so if you were to attack citizens randomly, then you'd be going to jail
and
3) What is a Navy Seal doing on 4chan anyways?
You're probably a NEWFAG who cannot get fucking laid.

>> No.11085787

>>11085718
Based

>> No.11085849

>>11085718
I'll lay you into the FUCKING GROUND mister