/sci/ - Science & Math

[Anonymous No.10503569]

>Product doesn't recrystallize

[Anonymous No.10503584]

>product doesn't come out from column

[Anonymous No.10503605]

>experiment goes a different, more violent route
>write study on how and why the experiment failed, never touch the original question
>ace semester

[Anonymous No.10503609]

>>10503569
just boil off the solvent and try again lol

[Anonymous No.10503665]

>>10503609
>solvent is azeotropic with product

[Anonymous No.10503670]

>no spots on TLC

[Anonymous No.10503889]

>Product stuck on filter paper after suction filtration

[Anonymous No.10503905]

>IR Spec comes out with no discernible peaks

[Anonymous No.10503908]

>>10503889
>product was in the solution I just poured down the sink and all I have left is waste product on filter paper

[Anonymous No.10503938]

>>10503905
Just put it in the ICP

[Anonymous No.10504242]

>forget about experiment mess that I told myself I would clean later
>a new mutant fungus has been born

[Anonymous No.10504413]

>>10503908
We've all been there

[Anonymous No.10504441]

>tfw you sneeze in the thin film lab

[Anonymous No.10504448]

>>10503938
the what now

[Anonymous No.10504456]

>finish running my measurement in 1800° furnace under inert atmosphere to protect the graphite sample holder
>"If I cool this down quick, I can fit in one more run today"
>terminate the program, open furnace
>...
>fugg

[Anonymous No.10504470]

Add some cold solvent if it doesn't alter your product.
In organic chemistry lab I used to add cold ethanol to promote crystallization.

[Anonymous No.10504477]

>>10503569
>Be theorist
>Laugh at experimentalists

[Anonymous No.10504543]

>>10504477
Are autists able to laugh?

[Anonymous No.10504556]

>>10504448
Inductive Coupled Plasme emission spectrometer
How are you a chemE if you have to ask that?

[Anonymous No.10504576]

>>10503670
>TLC plate dissolved

[Anonymous No.10504586]

>fume hood airflow sucks crystals into back of fume hood

[Anonymous No.10504607]

>>10504556
Not him but ChemE is chemistry for either brainlets or twats who are only in it for money

[Anonymous No.10504689]

>>10504607
>either brainlets or twats who are only in it for money
redundant

[Anonymous No.10504730]

>>10504242
Doing gods work

[Anonymous No.10504799]

>>10504607
Oh, okay, thank god I went to mat sci

[Anonymous No.10504804]

>muscles won't grow

[Anonymous No.10505995]

>>10503665
>you chose your solvent poorly

[Anonymous No.10506103]

No bands on +C pcr

[Anonymous No.10506231]

>>10503889
That’s not too bad though, just put the paper in some solvent to dissolve your product and dry

[Anonymous No.10506793]

>>10504543
An autist in molecular QM? Pretty sure they're all in CS or some shit

[Anonymous No.10506820]

>>10504477
wordup quantum homie

[Anonymous No.10506830]

>>10503605
>calling a lab report a "study"

this thread is full of fucking undergrads

[Anonymous No.10506853]

>>10506830
You don't have study assignments at your PhD postgrad?

[Anonymous No.10506993]

>>10503569
>TLC solvent overruns the plate
>forget to remove stopcock from sep funnel, wonder why nothing comes out
Happens to me far more often than I’d like to admit

[Anonymous No.10508302]

>>10504689
Can you make money studying just chemistry without an engineering emphasis?

And we ask this because I don't care about learning I just need to make bank as soon as possible.

[Anonymous No.10508480]

>new project's primary source has a terrible experimental section
>spend two weeks trying to get nmr sample prep right

[Anonymous No.10508526]

>remove reflux condenser from tap
>forgot to turn it off

[Anonymous No.10508641]

>>10508302
if you want to be a teacher, maybe

[Anonymous No.10508996]

>>10508302
don't do science

[Anonymous No.10509041]

>>10506830
>Undergrads call lab reports studies
Where the fuck are you from?

[Anonymous No.10509048]

>cope wasn't fasted properly and molten aluminum spills out of the parting line and all over the conveyor

[Anonymous No.10509135]

>palladium catalyst doesn't work no matter how much you baby it
every time

[Anonymous No.10509141]

>forgot to put boiling stones in the methanol

[Anonymous No.10509767]

>>10503569
Forget to inoculate loop

[Anonymous No.10509774]

>>10509048
>I spill all over the conveyor
tfw no face

[Anonymous No.10509835]

>Panicked and drank the acetone instead of using it to clean glassware

[Anonymous No.10509849]

>add reagent before setting sample as blank

[Anonymous No.10509859]

>when the water turned out to actually be the sulfuric acid

[Anonymous No.10509910]

>>10503569
>hydrogen balloon pops
>bits of Raney nickel spill on the bench
>reaction mixture gets sucked into the rotavap
>>10503584
>product solution is colorless in column
>>10503670
>product isn't UV visible and you have no stain
>elution solvent polarity is slightly off the ideal
>>10503889
>product is only insoluble in cold wash solvent, not RT
>>10506993
>separatory funnel cork gets stuck
>solvent extraction has three layers despite only using two solvents
>last few droplets of the bottom layer only settle once you think you've drained out all of it already
>>10508480
>NMR sample gets stuck in machine
>still used just too little compound for sample prep despite using all that you have
>>10508526
>lift up tubes from sink to check water
>water spills onto the bench

[Anonymous No.10511637]

>enzyme instantly denatures when added to the experimental mixture
it was like a sad cumshot

[Anonymous No.10512266]

>>10503569
>product is supposed to be a white solid but it's a yellow liquid instead

Why does this happen to me /sci/entists?

[Anonymous No.10512308]

fucking undergrads

[Anonymous No.10512391]

>>10512266
As long as you have clean product what does it matter?

[Anonymous No.10512425]

>>10512308
Imagine paying more money to (((them))) for a shitty postgrad and your name on some shitty paper about a topic that no once cares about

No thanks jeff. I'll take my undergrad and a nice job

[Anonymous No.10512454]

>>10503569
>A fungus has already compromised the newly delivered peitri dishes

[Anonymous No.10512619]

>>10504556
>using AE not AA

[Anonymous No.10512833]

>>10503569
>p=0.065

[Anonymous No.10512887]

>>10503908
a classic

[Anonymous No.10512928]

>>10503908
hitting home

[Anonymous No.10513868]

>>10503584
>only 25% of product comes out of column

[Anonymous No.10513874]

>when the MPTP turns out to be MPP+

[Anonymous No.10513887]

>when the furnace temperature and the thermocouple dont match

[Anonymous No.10514399]

>113% yield
>leave flask under high vac overnight
>next day 74% yield
>take NMR, still see ethyl acetate

[Anonymous No.10514409]

>>10512425
>Imagine paying more money
They pay you to go to gradschool you idiot, otherwise it definitely isn't worth it

[Anonymous No.10515097]

>remove a sample of graphene-polypyrrole composite from vacuum dryer
>carefuly move it (it's on petri dish) to the table
>sudden gust of wind because some dumbfuck forgot to close the window on the corridor
>last 12h of your work in form of microscopic particles is now somewhere on the floor

[Anonymous No.10515230]

>>10503569
>Product cross-links

[Anonymous No.10515292]

>>10514409
No they don't

[Anonymous No.10516396]

>>10503569
>Freebase and extract 2c-h oil into toluene prior to bromination
>Boil off toluene in a flask instead of distillation
>Lose 200g of 2c-h base oil

[Anonymous No.10517491]

>>10514399

Add DCM, rotevap off, add DCM, rotevap off, etc etc
Do this 3-4 times and leave the last evap on for about 45 mins, no more ethyl acetate

[Anonymous No.10517496]

>Left NMR tube too long and ruined my tube

[Anonymous No.10517503]

>Forget to close sep funnel stockcock and mixture ends up on the bench

[Anonymous No.10517519]

>>10516396

What synthetic route are you using?

[Anonymous No.10517932]

>>10517491
Never heard of this, will try it. Thanks anon

[Anonymous No.10518386]

>>10517491
I'm having this issue but with hexane

[Anonymous No.10518392]

>>10503569
>mark.png
I some faggot Mark at Krispy Kreme. He was next to the other dude who I guess is just some faggot after all too, I am sad to say. He was dressed as a woman and after he left, the manager of the Krispy Kreme started gangstalking me.

Mark, don't forget to kill yourself to avoid what I will do to you. And for the other guy: if you're against me then don't kill yourself. I have a surprise for you.

[Anonymous No.10519010]

>>10508302
The only way to secure a high-paying job that is even tangentially related to science in the US is to go into medicine

[Anonymous No.10519072]

>stopcock slips out

>solvent in NMR sample wasn't deuterated

>nanogram of water gets in Grignard reagent

>not sure if no color change or indicator is just too subtle

>NMR shows solvent I didn't use

[Anonymous No.10519197]

>have parkinsons
>drop beaker
>lab members like to bully me and make me carry shit
>drop another few
>banned

[Anonymous No.10519296]

>product doesn't commute

[Anonymous No.10519485]

>>10519072
The last two made me laugh. Hits too close to home

[Anonymous No.10519517]

>>10518386

Non-polar solvents are always a fucker to get off, the DCM/chloroform trick works nicely for me

[Anonymous No.10519595]

>alone in the lab, hear a loud bang behind me
>microwave reactor fucking exploded
>there is a hole in the ceiling

[Anonymous No.10519629]

>lab partner is qt slut
>unzips me and starts sucking my dick
>can't run the experiment now

[Anonymous No.10519679]

>get 0.2% yield for no reason
chemistry is honestly black magic, gonna start sacrificing goats and making my reactions face mecca

[Anonymous No.10519688]

>solvent dissolves syringe
>UV-Vis Absorbtion is 2

[Anonymous No.10519695]

>hear bang and see centrifuge top shoot through the ceiling
>lab tech balanced one side of centrifuge with .5 microgams, other side has .35 micrograms spinning at 2500g
Director was really not happy since it was brand new and couldn't be taken under warranty for user error. Surprised he still had his job after that

[Anonymous No.10519719]

>your lab grade is the average of your percent yields

[Anonymous No.10519729]

>trust a premed student to do the simple task of passaging my cell culture for one day that I wasn't coming into the lab
>killed my entire cell line

[Anonymous No.10519760]

>>10519719
>percent yields are 138%

[Anonymous No.10519766]

>>10519729
were you his supervisor or something?

[Anonymous No.10520809]

>get hand stuck to buchner funnel

>overshoot titration

>magnetic stir bar falls into the filter paper

>the HCl was much more sour than you expected it to taste
good times

[Anonymous No.10520870]

>>10519629
HAHA US MED STUDENTS RIGHT?

[Anonymous No.10520873]

>>10508302
go into business

[Anonymous No.10521222]

>>10503605
evans is that you?

[Anonymous No.10521275]

>lean on the counter and accidentally touch my elbow on a water puddle
>it's actually concentrated NaOH that's absorbed water from the air

[Anonymous No.10521294]

>>10521222
wew

[Anonymous No.10521324]

>>10504576
I left mine in a jar of iodine for a month.

[Anonymous No.10521326]

>lean over an open flame to reach something on the other side of the bench

[Anonymous No.10521475]

>>10521222
My objective was the study of crystallization, thought why not demonstrate it with producing a single slab of clear ice. Experiment went bonkers, overcooled and produced tiny ice crystals overflowing the cup, right in front of my teacher. Talked about what happened and why it went this way. Wrote the report as a 20 page study, aced semester easy, rest of class hated me from then on.
Good thing we had the stereo microscope turned on in the next lab and I could snap some pics of the crystals :)
Lesson learned, always be prepared to profit from your failures. If you make it smooth it becomes a win.

[Anonymous No.10521481]

>>10520809
>magnetic stir bar falls into the filter paper
Not as bad as falling THROUGH the filter

[Anonymous No.10521583]

>>10517491
this, just coevaporate your shit with DCM
(or chloroform, which also has the nice side effect of hiding the residual chloroform in the NMR if you are using CDCl3 :^) )

[Anonymous No.10521724]

>computer engineering major
>can't do chem to save my life
>have to balance equation on exam, can't
>try to solve it as a system of linear equations with a matrix in desperation
>it works

[Anonymous No.10521737]

>receive unknown sample from china
>SDS is in chinese

gee thanks

[Anonymous No.10521748]

>>10521737
Do a weight measurement and send it back

[Anonymous No.10521751]

>>10521724
That's the real way to do it.

[Anonymous No.10521761]

>reach for something
>3/4 of some monomer bottle spills on the table
>its now cancer in vapor form
>hurry up and collect what i can with a paper towel
>doesnt work it dries up fast
>whole place reeks of weird smell for the next week
>people wonder why

[Anonymous No.10521771]

>ICP-MS decides to develop a mass dependency when analyzing element ratios
It has been like $20k down the drain in inconclusive tests

[Anonymous No.10521772]

>>10503569
>lab supervisor insists on operating the rotavap.
> doesnt attach properly and lose all the product of several days work

[Anonymous No.10521785]

>>10509835
how

[Anonymous No.10521800]

>"here, smell this" says my colleague as he holds out a flask with a clear liquid
>move closer without thinking and take a whiff
>the concentrated hydrochloric acid vapors burn my nasal passages
>lose sense of smell for about 2 months

thanks obama

[Anonymous No.10521807]

>>10503569
>Empties pH 1.2 solution down sink

[Anonymous No.10521847]

>>10503569
>Finish running AA and turn around to cap sample
>Turn back to see labtech snuff the flame and start trying to huff nitrous
>The acetylene tap is still on
>Move to turn it off
>Notice the labtech he's training is about to run acetylene to the other AA station through copper piping

[Anonymous No.10522134]

>>10503569
>product will form a crystal lattice at the bottom of the beaker
>it's a powder

[Anonymous No.10522342]

>>10503569
just do a column lmao

>>10503584
just pour methanol into your column lmao

>>10503609
crystallization makes me want to die
I once needed to recrystallize a compound in liquid ammonia, that was the day I learned the true meaning of suffering.

>>10503670
CAM stain

>>10503889
>what is fritted glass

>>10506793
>molecular QM
>CS
what's the difference lmao

>>10512266
1. It's hard to crystallize organic molecules, especially when the molar mass goes up.
2. It's yellow, due to trace impurities that cause absorbance shenanigans

>>10513868
looks like you didn't have any product after all

>>10517932
DCM is the greatest solvent of our times.

[Anonymous No.10522400]

>>10521724
nice work

[Anonymous No.10522573]

>>10521800
Was he having a joke and you were just retarded or was he just being a piece of shit?

[Anonymous No.10522584]

>boiling glassware starts exploding in rapid succession because the precipitate is less dense than the solution and formed a gas-tight seal over it

I had Vietnam flashbacks

[Anonymous No.10522646]

>>10515097
>yeah lets put this dust i consider important in an open top container in open air

be honest are you a female

[Anonymous No.10522653]

>>10519296
we cant have thread without mathshits injecting themselves

[Anonymous No.10522848]

>>10522646
Well it was in a dryer, so it would make sense for it to be in open container. Lab is usually well isolated from outside, just this one time there was especially windy day and I forgot that the doors were open. And no, I'm not a woman.

[Anonymous No.10522855]

>>10522573
>move closer without thinking and take a whiff
Yep, he was being retarded.

[Anonymous No.10522858]

>product oils out of solution

[Anonymous No.10522894]

And, this is why I gave up chemistry and became a math major.

[Anonymous No.10522898]

>>10522848
>And no, I'm not a woman.
Well maybe you should be, judging from this little fiasco.

[Anonymous No.10522933]

>Runaway reaction explodes

[Anonymous No.10522986]

>didn't empty out the rotovap solvent collection flask

[Anonymous No.10523538]

>try to recrystallize unstable compound
>it explodes
t-thanks

[Anonymous No.10523903]

>>10522855
Reminds me back in college (UK) a few years ago doing an electrolysis with chlorine
>no visible signs of reaction
>me: chlorine smells, right? Let’s just take a sniff to see if there is actually something
>B I G G W H I F F
>metallic smell followed by lots of coughing, a weird sensation in the lungs and lightheadedness for the rest of the lesson
I stand by my motto of “science is only fun when you fuck it up”

[Anonymous No.10524057]

> be me
> year 6 science class
> some bullshit experiment on effects of different temperature on water
> open up prac sheet
> "how hot is the blue flame from the Bunsen burner?"
> Eastshitnigger.png
> Turn on bunsen burner to blue flame
> Take out thermometer
> Put thermometer in flame
> See the mercury rise extremely rapidy
> Oh sh-
> Thermometer explodes
> glass and mercury everywhere
> 4 people next to me have to go to the emergency shower
> 1 guy even got a glass cut on his cheek
I felt like pic related for the rest of my time at that school

[Anonymous No.10524063]

>>10503569
>Rookie puts frozen sample in NMR

[Anonymous No.10524121]

>>10524063
>rookie puts mercury thermometer in the bunsen burner flame
>it explodes
>three other students and I are splashed with mercury laded debris
>have to take emergency shower
>retard mcgee over there didn’t immediately realize there was a relationship between the rate at which water heats and the temperature of the flame
>fucking mathlets

[Anonymous No.10524692]

>high crude product yield, gc ms shows it's mostly unreached
>% yield above 100

[Anonymous No.10525524]

>>10524121
>some dumbfuck 13 year old puts Mercury thermometer under direct flame
>explodes and showers Mercury all over like 3 of the shitstains
>sadly they were all ok
> had to go on teaching them the rest of the year