do you have any mental abnormalities/diagnoses? do they help you in science? inb4 beautiful mind

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Anonymous Sat Nov 17 07:53:33 2018 No.10147677 [Reply] [Original]

do you have any mental abnormalities/diagnoses? do they help you in science? inb4 beautiful mind

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 17 07:55:30 2018 No.10147681 >>10147677 One time I woke up from a dream and could hear whispering in my head, and then I remembered schizophrenia usually develops around my age so I got a little freaked out but it's ok now

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 17 07:58:24 2018 No.10147684 >>10147681 hypnopompic hallucinations it is normal t. psychiatrist

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 17 08:49:20 2018 No.10147757 I have bipolar. I'm on meds so it doesn't help shit.

Anonymous Sat Nov 17 09:01:31 2018 No.10147768

I probably have something. I was never formerly diagnosed with anything. My parent had me go to a doctor once because they were worried about my mental state as a teen but I am pretty good at normie LARPing and got the doctor on my side, he told my parent something like "he just wants to go down the path less travelled".
More recently I mentioned some of my 'symptoms' to my GP last year during a rough patch. They thought it might have been anxiety and suggested some CBT resources but when I looked at them they were very normie focussed and talking about situations that have never bothered me.

The only thing that bothers me is other people, not my own thoughts. My best guess is depression as a result of untreated autism and/or narcissistic personalty disorder. Maybe ASPD but I have a cousin with autism and brother 10 years younger than me who was put on the autism spectrum for behaviours I had at his age.

>do they help you in science?
Absolutely not. I have a meticulous and inquisitive personality that helps but having my very will to live sapped out of me everytime I have to spend too much time around people is draining. Not to mention my habit of having a laser focus on things that are nothing but a distracting waste of time.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 17 09:03:32 2018 No.10147771 >>10147677 believe it or not, I used to be in arts, one time I fell down on my head very hard, for some reason woke up thirsty for maths and now I'm doing my Masters in pure mathematics

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 17 09:20:28 2018 No.10147790 >>10147677 Depression, anorexia and bulimia. An empty stomach helps me concentrate on my work.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 17 09:56:29 2018 No.10147840 >>10147677 People in videos I watched on youtube talked to me and had conversations with me when I was smoking weed a lot. It didn't really helped at school but it made me question my reality so that's something I guess.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 17 10:18:55 2018 No.10147856 >>10147677 overthinking and extreme orderfreak. both help tremendously for science, not for other things

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 17 10:19:57 2018 No.10147858 >>10147677 Depression, manic episodes. No they do not.

Anonymous Sat Nov 17 10:30:57 2018 No.10147875

>>10147677
I've had periodic episodes of psychotic depression since I was 16
I think you can probably imagine they're not very helpful. Nowadays I can function relatively normally most of the time, but my academic career has still been a car wreck compared to what it would've been if my mind always worked properly.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 17 10:40:12 2018 No.10147889 >>10147875 keep strong friend i have recurring depression and stpd/schizophreniform disorder

Anonymous Sat Nov 17 10:50:45 2018 No.10147909

>>10147681
>I woke up from a dream
Don't worry, i have to get up super early for work and I'm a hard sleeper. I'd say 20% of the time I have to shake the dream from my head when I wake up.
One of these experiences had Jesus show up in my room' hit the snooze button, and then tell me he called into work for me and told them I was sick so I can sleep in.
I think in a previous life I was a hibernating bear or a really lazy housecat.

Anonymous Sat Nov 17 11:06:40 2018 No.10147951

OCD, enough that it was giving a lot of daily anxiety, consistently making me late to school/work, and I had calluses from door checking. I take meds now that knock it most of the way down.

It is actually useful for lab science at current levels. I'm more careful than I know I otherwise would be.

Anonymous Sat Nov 17 11:07:16 2018 No.10147954

Severe depression and schizoid personality disorder. Meds dosen't work they make it worse and I get easily psychosis from them. Totally delusional. I can also be manic when I have alot of stress and when I take amphetamine. Amphetamine helps on my depression the only cure I found.

Anonymous Sat Nov 17 11:10:53 2018 No.10147969
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>>10147677
>be me, about to fall asleep
>fall asleep
>dream about lying down on my bed in my room
>see a tall skeleton like shadow figure looking into my room from the window
>get shit scarred
>go to the living room in the dream
>stand there for a bit

in the morning, mum asked me wtf i was doing the day before
none of it felt even remotely real

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 17 11:21:58 2018 No.10147987 Minor asperger's, severe depression and paranoid schizophrenia

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 17 11:45:45 2018 No.10148033 >>10147954 > I can also be manic when I have alot of stress and when I take amphetamine. i wonder why you get mania and not psychosis out of these

Anonymous Sat Nov 17 12:00:56 2018 No.10148050

>>10147677
>mild social anxiety
>mild depression
That's what I have. It's not severe enough to the point that I can't go to class or study. I can tolerate not talking to people for longer periods of time compared to normies. My record was almost 1 month. I just studied in my room all day during the holidays.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 17 12:04:01 2018 No.10148058 >>10147771 The impact fixed your brain

Anonymous Sat Nov 17 12:04:02 2018 No.10148059

>>10147677
ive got ptsd and atypical anxiety disorder

i can certainly read and process a lot more information than most people, but like a computer that is running overclocked I need to ensure I boot down and relax my mind afterwards

i can basically just boot into a manic state where i read and research for days on end with no distraction and no care for the outside world, which is helpful

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 17 12:08:38 2018 No.10148067 >>10147969 One night I woke up and walked to the kitchen trashcan and urinated in it Didn't realize what I was doing

Anonymous Sat Nov 17 12:09:36 2018 No.10148068

>>10148059
It may be related to https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypervigilance as in both cases the senses are absorbing more stimuli than normal, but hypervigilance is generally presumed to be directed towards social settings whereas when applied to academia it's just the ability to be hyper aware of information and process it all at a high rate. Both have the same result where you need to wind down afterwards.

Anonymous Sat Nov 17 12:09:52 2018 No.10148070

>>10147677
started hallucinating hard on weed at 17 before i picked up on it not actually happening. tried to get through high school fine but ended up ostracizing myself to the entire grad year i graduated with. went to university. got in 1 fight among other things then got evicted from residence. supposed conversations i had with people didn't exist according to other people's reactions and i "was just stroking my ego." nothing eventful happened except for the sporadic visual hallucination event (only reason i'm aware of this is because of people's reactions) and i graduated. got a job, got fired from said job then got into quite a lot of fights during one rave i went to. now we're here after my family suggested mental health. my brother is bipolar but i am otherwise undiagnosed

Anonymous Sat Nov 17 12:12:07 2018 No.10148078

>>10147677
“ADHD”. I use the quotes because anyone who has ever met me would not describe me as hyperactive or unfocused. I think “robotic” would be more accurate. Pretty sure it was a misdiagnosis of aspergers, but there is no drug they can sell you for that. So the doctor said ADHD and made my parents insurance cut them a check. America’s healthcare system, especially when it comes to mental health, is pure evil.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 17 12:20:34 2018 No.10148098 Panic disorder. Finally got klonopin and I can do normal shit again. This shit was ruining my life and my research

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 17 12:22:47 2018 No.10148107 >>10148098 >klonopin > It begins having an effect within an hour and lasts between 6 and 12 hours.[4] so you suffer 1h in panic attack before the drug helps you? :(

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 17 12:32:00 2018 No.10148130 >>10148107 Yea pretty much. It's like living in a nightmare

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 17 12:33:15 2018 No.10148136 >>10148058 either that or mathematicians are all fucked up in the head

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 17 12:35:49 2018 No.10148144 >>10147790 You must be skinny and cute. Keep barfing until you're beautiful.

Anonymous Sat Nov 17 13:07:27 2018 No.10148213

>>10148130
When I used to take kpins I would dissolve them under my tongue so they would kick in a bit faster. They taste good too at least. If you don't do that already I would recommend it. But really alprazolam is best for panic attacks. Clonazepam is useful for keeping you calm for longer periods but if you need to calm down relatively quickly, then alprazolam is the way to go.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 17 13:24:11 2018 No.10148238 >>10148144 What the fuck is wrong with you?

>>	El Arcón Sat Nov 17 13:28:51 2018 No.10148247 File: 2.49 MB, 675x900, TRINITY___Where_Beef.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>10147677 >mental abnormalities I am abnormally smart. My ability to think critically is abnormally strong.

Anonymous Sat Nov 17 14:11:26 2018 No.10148345

>>10147677
Im a schizophrenic with a chemical engineering degree who cant hold down a job no matter how low skilled anymore. My mental state has progressively gotten worse every year and I just got terminated from working at Subway cause I could focus enough to make the sandwiches right.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 17 14:22:36 2018 No.10148370 >>10148345 *couldn't

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 17 15:17:32 2018 No.10148482 >>10148345 ;(

Anonymous Sat Nov 17 15:35:47 2018 No.10148511

"Gifted" (~130 IQ)
Genes linked to giftedness are also recurring in schizophrenia patients.
I think I used to be anxious/depressed but was never formerly diagnosed, I'm okay now.
Sometimes have an irrational suspicion that people can read my mind, I know it's wrong but it feels real and can mess up my train of thought.
I'd say I'm pretty high-functioning but will sometimes be consumed in my own thoughts when people verbally explain things, and I can't understand inexplicit instructions (ex. go there, do this, etc.).
I think I'm sociopathic, I don't feel remorse or guilt. I used to, but I kept getting bullied and manipulated and was really insecure. Now I look at everything logically and can be superficially charming at will.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 17 15:36:12 2018 No.10148512 >>10148067 I did this when I was little but to a wall in front of company.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 17 15:36:42 2018 No.10148514 File: 85 KB, 790x447, polmentalillnesses.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>10147677 Not sure about /sci/, but people on /pol/ typically have either an autism spectrum disorder and/or a Cluster A personality disorder.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 17 15:41:34 2018 No.10148530 >>10148070 Sounds like psychosis or something similar, go to a doctor ASAP. I think there's drugs that help it.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 17 15:41:39 2018 No.10148532 >>10148078 There's another type of ADHD that used to be called ADD, now it's called ADHD-PI Primarily Inattentive. It might be that or it might be what you said.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 17 15:51:28 2018 No.10148563 >>10148532 i was diagnosed with ADD/ADHD-PI as kid but then it turned out my cognitive deficits are due to schizotypal personality disorder yet i am taking methylphenidate, im going to try to get precrtiption for pills of a bigger dose in 2 months

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 17 15:53:37 2018 No.10148570 Grapheme-color synethesia might marginally help me do math

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 17 15:54:54 2018 No.10148575 >>10147951 OCD made lab really difficult for me because I was paranoid about washing my hands and becoming completely clean of the toxic chemicals I was in contact with.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 17 15:58:45 2018 No.10148587 So basically, what are all these things in the end

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 17 16:00:06 2018 No.10148593 >>10148070 do you have delusions?

Anonymous Sat Nov 17 16:02:26 2018 No.10148602

>>10148587
People are different, normality is just a part of a spectrum on each of hundreds of different spectrums. We know what helps in some of these disorders, we don't know what helps in others.

It's difficult because it's not a concrete thing you can just measure someone's brain and get all the answers.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 17 16:19:59 2018 No.10148649 >>10148587 what things?

Anonymous Sat Nov 17 16:46:24 2018 No.10148710

>>10147677
Visual snow, and possibly some epilepsy-like syndrome of the parietal or temporal areas. Visual snow provides a basis for observing some lower level functions of the mind, and sensory processing, and it can be used to have a finer grained sense of state, or as an interface. Visual snow is not static. It's dynamic and responsive to various internal and external factors.

Various things, but particularly chocolate, can bring back mild aspects of the Alice in Wonderland Syndrome stuff I had as a child. It'll seem and feel like the room is very large, the ceiling is high and the walls are huge. Or I'll look down and the ground will be far away. Longer term and more heavy use I've had days where I felt like no matter what I did I was stationary and everything else was moving. I'm walking and moving the world closer. I'm going down a winding road and rotating the world back and forth, parallax stuff and relative distance becomes highlighted. Other times moving closer to an object I'll perceive it as the object growing. Moving away it's shrinking. Acetylcholinesterase inhibitors and sleep deprivation slow down time sense. Marijuana pushes this to an extreme. It's as though there are more frames per unit perceptual time, the measure being relative to the speed of thought and motor output. Cacao does the opposite. I'll become superhumanly strong, won't feel my legs the same, and I can practically blink and I've traveled a great distance.

Trigeminal nerve pain has shown me the most. As I withered and saw myself crumbling away inside and out I learned to see positive and negative in every frame, and then if you have that perception, their presence and use is truly optional. It taught me to turn everything and anything to use, and see myself and my place in both the immediate and the greater world in a different way. I started to think about what "body" really is, and therefore identity in accordance with scale. It can't be described concisely.

Anonymous Sat Nov 17 16:59:10 2018 No.10148737

>>10148710
Small things need not necessarily be small, and likewise with supposedly big things. Gets into self directed definition down avenues we don't necessarily find cause to think about, which ended up fitting neatly into other things, and my idea of association, memory storage, and the notion of a "logical framework". I think my brain may have started manufacturing adrenochrome at one point. I went to bed everyday knowing there was nothing other than how I would live the same torture tomorrow. I slept poorly. After three days straight of extreme pain up and my vision was pulsing on the peripheries. I saw flashes and everything looked and felt like it was melting, but in flashes. I went into the bathroom and turned on the sink faucet, and felt the water splash over my skin like colors and electricity. It was a surprising and unknown sensation.

Nerve pain and long term periods of intermittent starvation surrounded by minimal food intake were destructive and I deluded myself and suppressed and twisted my psyche heavily. But I was shown a lot, by force. Takes a long time to work out of that trauma programmed animal state and realize the measures you put in place and adapted to to keep going. Going down these avenues makes it clear what reality really is, what can be done to an animal, and what the mind is capable of. I spent a long time feeling like a split minded hollowed out husk of automatic responses, sleepwalking through life.

Hopefully some of the above is useful to whoever.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 17 17:01:26 2018 No.10148741 File: 247 KB, 720x678, yukari_swimsuit.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>10147677 I'm a massive narcissist but I channel it into math research and gym so that I can act smug towards literally everyone I meet. Also I'm gay.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 17 17:09:36 2018 No.10148755 >>10147909 based jesus

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 17 17:22:11 2018 No.10148778 File: 125 KB, 720x678, 1542492086469.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>10148741 Optimized.

Anonymous Sat Nov 17 17:32:18 2018 No.10148798

Anxiety and depression. It got really bad two years ago and I had panic attacks and felt really shit in general for no reason. It's sort of all right now. The only "help" I got through health care or the university systems was useless counselling (try breathing my dude lol) and an SSRI prescription which I never took.

I don't know all the things I've been diagnosed with because nowadays I don't bother seeing professionals and when I was diagnosed as a kid I was too young to remember properly. I do remember that I suffered from school fobia and separation anxiety w.r.t. my mom around the ages 7-11. I think there was some other stuff too but I don't remember, my childhood environment was a bit messed up. It was deemed unlikely that I could continue in a normal school but luckily I did. Also my mom died when I was 11 (solved the separation anxiety, also I watched her suffocate to death) and my dad died a year later from cancer which presumably left some trauma or whatever.

Nowadays I don't quite pass for a normie but it's not far off. I'm quiet and reserved around people I don't know well enough to be comfortable around and I have a hard time making meaningful friendships or really fitting into any group. This means I absolutely fail at the networking meme which will probably bite me in the ass big time when I leave the adult daycare that is postgrad.

Also I get very lonely which makes a bit of a vicious cycle with my anxiety/depression, ensuring my life also sucks and I want to kms.

I'd probably be doing better in every way, including my studies, if I didn't have these issues. However, since my life is devoid of any other meaning I do tend to put a lot of effort into my work so there is that.

Anonymous Sat Nov 17 17:41:50 2018 No.10148818

>>10147677
Severe depression comes and goes, social anxiety always pervades. Motivation is typically bottomed. As a student, it doesn't help and I usually procrastinate. The only aspect of which it does out, is the fact that I have no friends or social life, so 99% of my time is free and I can spend the night(s) before exams studying, although truth be told the majority of that time is fiddling with my phone or doing other things.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 17 18:14:17 2018 No.10148874 >>10148144 Thanks bro but i’m at a healthy weight at the moment, don’t know why they still diagnosed me despite the fact that i’ve never been underweight, England is pretty weird.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 17 18:25:13 2018 No.10148910 >>10147677 i have a low iq it only harms

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 17 18:25:20 2018 No.10148911 >>10148798 Jesus christ... Anon, that’s depressing. Hope you’re getting better.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 17 18:48:38 2018 No.10148968 >>10147790 r u a girl?

Anonymous Sat Nov 17 19:37:24 2018 No.10149069

>>10147677
I have autism, psychosis and a neurodegenerative condition.

I can tell you for sure that while i had psychosis my thinking suffered i had anxiety and it made it hard to think, now the brain disease also made it more difficult to think, as far as autism goes it could be that it made me smart, recently i found old IQ testing results and some of my scores were very impressive, at one point my elementary school teachers tried to get me into a gifted school because, well i was very fast at mental math faster than my father who was an engineer even in middle school people always commented on this everyone noticed i could do mental math very quickly, and i had a very good memory for AP history class where i got A's without studying as much as other students or my sister, other kids would ask "hey how do you always get an A if you are such a lazy fuck who barely studies" i was so good at AP history it made me feel weird when others asked how i did so well there was no secret study habit i was just smart.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 17 19:44:24 2018 No.10149087 >>10149069 do you have any proofs for neurodegenerative condition? young people usually dont suffer from these

Anonymous Sat Nov 17 19:46:14 2018 No.10149094
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>>10147677
>read this post
>watches clip from a beautiful mind
>"did you just solve riemann?"
I'm dying here
https://youtu.be/5OIUa-mxIhM?t=50
Skip to 0:45 this scene is gold.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 17 19:46:31 2018 No.10149095 >>10147677 Asperger's. Great for analysis of pretty much anything i put my mind into. Terrible for social contact.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 17 19:47:35 2018 No.10149098 >>10149087 In the era of wireless devices, poor food, and aluminum everywhere they do.

Anonymous Sat Nov 17 19:50:36 2018 No.10149106

>>10149087
I have autonomic dysfunction that is being caused by a autoimmune disease, we don't know which autoimmune disease yet, but once we know the brain disease will likely be confirmed, autoimmune diseases of the autonomic nervous system often also effect the brain.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 17 19:51:40 2018 No.10149111 >>10149087 The dysautonomia in itself is a neurological condition because it deprives the brain of blood and oxygen making it difficult to think

Anonymous Sat Nov 17 19:58:34 2018 No.10149119

>>10149111
Your "dysautonomia" is possibly caused by chronic microwave exposure. Largely via the hypothalamus your body is put into a sympathetic dominant state. When your adrenals and thyroid are finally trashed you move to the other side, into chronic bradycardia and hypotension.

Two types of animals were identified:
-The strong animal.
It alters its state and somewhat synchronizes with the field but tries to maintain its proper state, slowly exhausting. The strong animal often fails first.
-The labile animal.
It is "of a phasic character" and has "periods of CNS excitation followed by periods of depression". The highs might not be higher in amplitude than the strong animal, but there's a definite difference. The labile animal generally exhausts and fall well below basal values.

With time this is irreversible. You need to eliminate every possible cause of what's happening to you from your life immediately.

Signed,
Someone who lived it from 12 years old onwards.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 17 20:00:26 2018 No.10149122 >>10149119 Also, my symptoms were identical to MS, lyme, and all of that. MRIs revealed nothing. Because even if there is an immune component, it's not the dominant causative agent.

Anonymous Sat Nov 17 20:01:43 2018 No.10149125

>>10147677
Yeah, I have OCD. I've always been good at math which maybe is the result of OCD. But honestly, the condition has close to ruined my life. I was on various psychiatric drugs for years and even tried TMS. I've never felt the same since. I actually started doing behavioral therapy two years ago and have gotten a lot better from OCD, but I doubt I'll ever recover from whatever that quackery did to me. Don't ever let anyone tell you psychiatry is a science.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 17 20:07:36 2018 No.10149134 >>10149119 well i am getting an MRI of the spine that should eliminate any lesions in the spinal chord

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 17 20:09:48 2018 No.10149136 >>10149134 Don't let them use a gadolinium contrast agent. Bad shit to have in you, and of all my goofs it's a definite regret of mine.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 17 20:42:07 2018 No.10149213 >>10149094 lmao

Anonymous Sat Nov 17 20:47:54 2018 No.10149228

>>10148593
no. that was just a summary two and forget to mention by two other evictions after university residence. ironically enough i actually have hyper awareness which i assume is why i can quell hallucinations whenever i detect them as hallucinations. i'm not exactly inclined to throw myself in with mental illness but i do have a fucked up life

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 17 20:50:44 2018 No.10149236 >>10147681 >babbies first auditory hallucinations come back to me when you're constantly seeing figure passing through the corners of your eyes

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 17 20:54:59 2018 No.10149249 >>10147677 i have OCD and depression, maybe aspergers I dunno, I might even be a schizo but I really would need to look into it more no not at all, If I had the ability to obsess over the things I wanted it woudn't really be OCD

Anonymous Sat Nov 17 22:11:03 2018 No.10149369

>>10148710
>Visual snow provides a basis for observing some lower level functions of the mind, and sensory processing, and it can be used to have a finer grained sense of state, or as an interface. Visual snow is not static. It's dynamic and responsive to various internal and external factors.
Elaborate on visual snow.
What cool things can you do with it?

Anonymous Sat Nov 17 22:20:32 2018 No.10149389

>>10147677
i have borderline personality disorder

borderline is great its ended all my most precious relationships allowing me to focus better on my studies

the only drawback is my forearms and neck are scarred from all the suicide attempts

its like a superpower

Anonymous Sat Nov 17 23:01:18 2018 No.10149476

>>10149369
Not him but in one of my lecture halls there's like a venting system on the side so it's a bunch of huge grilles or what to call them, like plenty of stripes of pitch black into the venting system. Looking at those I summon visual snow to my attention, and they're also the source of plenty of visual illusions, like movement where there's no movement and stuff like that. I can see visual snow anywhere but it's not like I think about it, the "pixels" are so small I don't notice them unless it's against pitch black or I actively want to see them.

Looking at it now, when I settle on a place to watch for visual snow, the buzzing pixels move collectively in a soft and slow manner like that of a silky wave gliding up a beach to the apex and then continuing the movement back down towards the sea again. Actually, I might just be fooled by all the shit floating on my eye's surface getting movement when I'm rolling my eye in a new direction. When it comes to the pixels there's no specific thing to look at because they're buzzing in and out of existence pop pop pop and absolutely everywhere, so if I see movement I can't for sure attribute it to such small things or if its really just the gunk on my eye

Actually I haven't answered your question at all because obviously I don't know much for sure about my visual snow since it's just on the edge of what I can be sure of percieving but maybe I've given context

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 17 23:05:51 2018 No.10149483 File: 15 KB, 285x214, 357256_1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>10149389 >i have borderline personality disorder

Anonymous Sat Nov 17 23:06:16 2018 No.10149485

>>10149476
>>10149369
Actually, I'm sure that the visual snow moves, because seeing larger (how much larger? 300 times larger than the pixels I don't know, and even then those gunk particles projected on my retina take up no more of my visible field than a dot on the wall) gunk particles at the same time as the visual snow, they're moving in opposite directions mostly

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 17 23:08:41 2018 No.10149489 >>10149389 xDD Same here, I'm also a borderline.. It sucks, I literally want to commit suicide right now.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 17 23:59:09 2018 No.10149553 >>10147677 No, I'm not the smart kind of autistic

Anonymous Sun Nov 18 05:53:21 2018 No.10150080

I'm not diagnosed with anything but I keep hearing weird knocking and other sounds when falling asleep or seeing silhouettes or faces. Also whenever i go down the stairs i feel like someone is behind me. I sometimes think that people can read my mind and i keep thinking fuck off. I get weird panic attacks after random thoughts (like a fish falling through my sink). I occasionaly think someone is talking to me but can't hear what exactly, when I ask them to repeat they don't know what I'm talking about + I have a mild social anxiety. There are some more things but this lists should be enough. Should I go to a doctor? I don't feel like all of this is too bad but maybe i should seek help.

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 18 05:55:06 2018 No.10150084 >>10149485 HPPD?

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 18 06:34:38 2018 No.10150127 >>10147771 Where on your head specifically did you land regards, doing BA in fashion

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 18 06:50:43 2018 No.10150136 >>10148968 yes

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 18 08:35:41 2018 No.10150260 >>10150080 yeah bro, see a doctor.

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 18 10:20:21 2018 No.10150438 >>10150084 >HPPD Never heard of it before. I don't think I have it. I only have two of the things mentioned in symptoms, visual snow, and trails remaining on my eye after looking at bright enough light sources (I thought everyone had that).

Anonymous Sun Nov 18 10:32:14 2018 No.10150455

>be kid
>be shy
>parents divorce in messy way
>always heard voices in my head, thought it was normal to 'talk with yourself in your head'
>15 years
>depression kicks in in last year of hs
>start hearing 6-7 voices, felt like 6-7 different people live inside of my head, each with its own perspective of life
>clearly depressed, bipolar, insomnia, tired all the time, borderly schizo, just a fuck my shit up loop
>never go to doctor/psychiatrist, since I thought it's gonna make things worse and I might end up in some facility
>2-3 years go by, finish hs, start working and get perspective
>end up in shitty job, fixed my insomnia since I was so tired I felt asleep
>end up with good perspective in life
>not confused and scared of life anymore, I can survive working in the shittiest place and not feel too bad
>say fuck it, let's go to college
>go to college, doing okay

It's funny how fucked up you can get when parents don't raise you and guide you/talk to you about your feelings and you end up lurking internet and having no perspective whatsoever

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 18 10:33:14 2018 No.10150459 >>10150080 yes

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 18 10:57:50 2018 No.10150503 >>10147677 Severe procrastination. Doesn't help at all, obviously.

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 18 11:13:20 2018 No.10150534 >>10149136 >Don't let them use a gadolinium contrast agent. Chuck Norris detected.

Anonymous Sun Nov 18 18:01:08 2018 No.10151460

>>10148911
Thanks. The anxiety and stuff is less dire than it used to be, although you never really know when it decides to flare up.

I think my current problems could be largely fixed by having a social life, which is why I've refused the SSRI stuff doctors inevitably prescribe, which is why I don't bother doctors with this any more. It's a nice thought in that it would mean this is something that could be overcome, but the fact that I've been unable to make that happen makes me feel bad. I feel like my life has been shit for the last few years and that it likely will be shit in perpetuity for reasons which would have been mostly preventable.

I guess there is some justice in living in a hell of my own making.

Anonymous Sun Nov 18 18:50:04 2018 No.10151552

>>10147677
Depression/Narcissistic personality disorder

Never was formally diagnosed, but I know for certain that this is what's going on. Some psychologists put NPD on the autistic scale as well, so a bit of that.

It kind of helps and it doesn't. Because I'm a narcissist, I feel like I have to be superior to others, and if I'm not, I gotta die trying. Generally it works out ok, however, sometimes it makes me assume that I'm apriori better than everybody else, which ruins my grades (because I'm certainly smart enough not to do anything for the whole semester and then just turn up to the exam to write it up, sure). But at the same time, if I can't prove to myself that I'm the best, I'd rather be dead. But it pushes me to try to do insane shit that nobody even tries to do at my level (hope this is not narcissism speaking in me, but my genuine experience). My motivation is either as high as a mountain or as low as Mariana Trench, I rarely find myself in the middle. I'm either the best or the worst. It's quite fun sometimes, but I don't really like living like this.

On top of that, insomnia and major sleeping problems. I haven't slept for 2 days in a row 3 times last week, going to sleep at 12 in the day and waking up at 10 in the evening on most days. I feel like I'm going to have a mental breakdown any time soon because of this.

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 18 19:48:53 2018 No.10151662 >>10147677 Schizotypal personality disorder I'm always in my imaginary worlds

Anonymous Sun Nov 18 23:01:51 2018 No.10151917

>>10147677
I have congenital hydrocephalus - a neurological condition which causes CSF to pool in a patient's skull. Treatment is in the form of a surgical implant called a shunt (a silicone tube with a valve, running from the brain into the torso). The vast majority of people born hydrocephalic are severely mentally and physically impaired. However, there is evidence of the opposite effect in a small subset of patients who score higher than their unafflicted peers on verbal IQ tests. Shunt failure can also induce precocious puberty, which leads to enlarged sexual organs, increased testosterone, bone density, and height.

I'm one of the lucky ones. Missed a perfect verbal SAT score by two questions, I'm over six feet tall, and have a horsecock.

But I do have an Achilles heel. Magnets. My shunt has an adjustable valve - so if you have access to a strong enough EMF source, you could kill me fairly easily.

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 18 23:24:32 2018 No.10151958 >>10147677 borderline. its great it allows me to draw upon the abilities of all the other personality disorders. its the best class imo besides wild mage.

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 18 23:27:42 2018 No.10151961 >>10151958 i think i have that

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 18 23:28:47 2018 No.10151965 >>10149236 this happens to me a lot, but it’s because of lack of sleep

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 18 23:33:49 2018 No.10151970 >>10151958 >borderline Just a fancy way of saying "irredeemable cunt".

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 18 23:48:57 2018 No.10151992 >>10148710 >>10148737 very interesting. Sounds cool at first but that must be annoying when you just want to study or not be bothered.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 19 06:47:49 2018 No.10152442 >>10151917 not sure if xD

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 19 10:59:31 2018 No.10152752 File: 208 KB, 1429x1432, 00-arctic_monkeys-favourite_worst_nightmare-2007-cd-mst.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Bump. Im so lonely bros

Anonymous Mon Nov 19 12:15:30 2018 No.10152888

>>10147768
>Absolutely not. I have a meticulous and inquisitive personality that helps but having my very will to live sapped out of me everytime I have to spend too much time around people is draining. Not to mention my habit of having a laser focus on things that are nothing but a distracting waste of time.
You could turn this around though by using this on something productive.

Anonymous Mon Nov 19 13:35:37 2018 No.10153018
File: 2.97 MB, 4032x3024, 20181119_133203.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>10152442
>not sure if xD
Do you mean you're not sure if my post was funny (I intended it to be - most of the anons in this thread could use a laugh), or are you calling it a LARP?

Everything I wrote in this post
>>10151917
is the truth.

Anonymous Mon Nov 19 14:30:48 2018 No.10153120
File: 97 KB, 550x512, 1526618223062.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I have PTSD, Autism, ADD, and possibly psychosis depending if the amount of weed I have smoked in the past two years did anything long-term to me.

Just shorten it to I am retarded and let me be on my way.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 19 14:32:24 2018 No.10153126 >>10153120 Oh how could I forget? Dyspraxia.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 19 14:41:25 2018 No.10153145 >>10149094 sometimes I forget how fucking hot connelly is

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 19 15:46:56 2018 No.10153256 >>10150136 c-cool

Anonymous Mon Nov 19 16:04:00 2018 No.10153279

Borderline. It only occurs in individuals with very high IQ. Having BPD is like being Charles Xavier in the last wolverine movie. If people could feel the amplitude of my emotions they would be paralyzed with agony. Such is the life of a typical BPD, with extreme genius comes extreme consequences. Ah, if only I could trade it for blissful ignorance.

Instead, I feel.

Anonymous Mon Nov 19 16:22:18 2018 No.10153307

>>10147677
Im a lazy sack of shit who cant stop daydreaming to the point I cant pay attention to a conversation or even sleep well. Sometimes I have delusions and hallucinations and cant stop my mind from racing. I take long walks that go nowhere often. I graduated with a degree in physics and math years ago but i cant hold down a job. I honestly dont know what I have. The daydreams are repetitive in nature and I dont understand why i have them or how to stop them.

Anonymous Mon Nov 19 19:54:43 2018 No.10153601

>>10153279
hehe me too i am an emotional genius my EQ is of the charts

i cant tell you how many times my extreme deeply heightened emotional capacity that neurotypicals are fundamentally incapable of experiencing have gotten in the way of my life.

they simply cant understand what it is like

i try and tell them, how would you of felt if you had a terrible toothache that comes and goes, but switches between excruciating pain and intense orgasms based on your mood

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 19 21:59:35 2018 No.10153821 My mom told me I was stupid until I was 9 and then I randomly got smart. Idk what the fuck happened but I havent been the same

Anonymous Tue Nov 20 01:43:35 2018 No.10154172

>>10152888
I try to but it doesn't happen. If I try to focus on something worthwhile there'll inevitably be something with a better dopamine hit coming along.
I can do pretty well with books because I find reading very 'fun', even textbooks. But just purely reading books without actually integrating the knowledge is not ideal. It's not terribly productive either, investing yes, producing no.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 20 01:58:46 2018 No.10154190 >>10154172 Why not try tutoring? Passing on what you've learned via experience and contemplation is certainly productive. And if your pupils are genuinely interested in learning, I think you'll enjoy teaching them. Good luck bro.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 20 14:48:42 2018 No.10155314 OCD, anxiety, depression No

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 20 15:58:25 2018 No.10155432 >>10155314 dont you think you would be a normie if you had no such mental problems hence you would have no interest in science?

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 20 16:07:53 2018 No.10155457 >>10147909 did you call in sick but just hallucinated it was jesus or did your boss yell at you the next day

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 20 18:37:50 2018 No.10155792 PTSD and Depression as a result of childhood abuse. I was gyp'd out of my full potential.

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 21 01:47:19 2018 No.10156482 >>10150080 Sounds like me, dont worry

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 21 01:49:50 2018 No.10156485 I get really paranoid. Especially around exams. I keep thinking that my roommates are going through my mail or watching me sleep.

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 21 03:56:44 2018 No.10156617 >>10147677 Severe anxiety. No, it makes studying very difficult. I have to get last being a lazy fuck, then I have to deal with being unable to focus because intense bouts of fear attack my mind every minute.

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 21 04:10:31 2018 No.10156625 >>10147681 Schizophrenia is a gift from god. Be grateful for the gift of prophets

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 21 04:18:15 2018 No.10156634 >>10147909 Based. The lord broke my gaming computer so it would be easier for me to focus on science

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 21 06:55:15 2018 No.10156815 >>10147909 And yet people say God doesn't perform miracles anymore

Anonymous Wed Nov 21 06:59:02 2018 No.10156819

>>10147677
Social anxiety, and also I'm fairly sure I'm mildly autistic/sociopathic. And no, it doesn't help because I always try and waste time to live normal life (forcing myself to communicate with people, trying to make friends etc) . So yeah, takes a lot of time and effort. I kinda wish I was a full on robot, then I wouldn't care about earthly pleasures like friendship and love, and could fully focus on my studies

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 21 07:25:12 2018 No.10156844 >>10156815 >And yet people say God doesn't perform miracles anymore Only retarded protestants say that (because they tend to involve the Saints and Mary)

Anonymous Wed Nov 21 11:49:09 2018 No.10157272

>>10155457
No. I just overslep and felt embarrassed as fuck that my brain tricked me... again.
If you could make an alarm clock that required a theory of quantum gravity to turn it off I'd have it solved in enough time to get those last few precious minutes of sleep.

Anonymous Wed Nov 21 11:56:13 2018 No.10157283

>>10148575
honestly same, before i was medicated it was a fucking nightmare. i'd try to leave early most days because it would take me twenty minutes to convince myself the lab door was locked or a piece of equipment was running and had enough solvents loaded in

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 21 11:56:52 2018 No.10157284 >>10148778 optimizaiton anon have you ever encountered a png you couldn't optimize further?

Anonymous Wed Nov 21 12:08:07 2018 No.10157308

>>10148575
>I was paranoid about washing my hands and becoming completely clean of the toxic chemicals I was in contact with.
I just remember sitting in class wondering why I was itchy all over my body only to remember I had spilled hydrochloric acid all over myself in chem and realizing maybe that wasn't the field for me.

Anonymous Wed Nov 21 12:46:51 2018 No.10157391

>>10147677
I have diagnosable HPPD from taking too much acid. Clinical depression that's been diagnosed by ~6 different psychologists and pretty bad anxiety

The depression definitely messes with my motivation and the HPPD gives me pretty bad brain fog

Anonymous Wed Nov 21 12:58:21 2018 No.10157410

>>10157391
ask for epileptic drugs from your psychiatrist
i contacted a person with hppd before and he said the medication that saved him was some epilepsy medication. i forget the name but i'm fully convinced it would help you considering you both have visual disturbances and are depressed

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 21 13:43:34 2018 No.10157520 >>10156844 in catholicism people say pope performed miracles (john paul the second)

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 21 13:50:13 2018 No.10157539 >>10153145 You must have very bad memory.

Anonymous Wed Nov 21 14:17:00 2018 No.10157600
File: 18 KB, 299x177, big corpus callosum.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

is it normal for someone with a amnesia and aphasia, to go to college and do better than other students and get an A in college biology, basically i can't remember my past but i still go to college and did well in chemistry and biology, it is very depressing i have lost all skills i have less social skills than autistic people, i cannot drive, i never remember names, i can't remember anything yet somehow i can still speak, my only skill left is college math, biology and chemistry equations i am extremely shocked that despite all my brain damage academics have remained a strength.

Anonymous Wed Nov 21 14:21:54 2018 No.10157612

>>10157600
Gen Chem-Bio are extremely easy courses, to the point where literally any highschool graduate could pass them. Orgo is a weed out course for people <120 iq (on average, obviously there are exceptions). And then upper division bio courses like mol bio, biochem and genetics labs are pretty intensive and would likely be difficult for someone with any intellectual handicaps.

Anonymous Wed Nov 21 14:28:21 2018 No.10157632

>>10157612
i am just surprised to be able to do any academics at all considering how i am amnesic and have developed speech difficulty when speaking with people, in the past few weeks i have avoided talking with people because conversation is challenging, i hope that i will still be lucid by next spring when i apply for molecular bio, and genetics, but to be honest considering all my breathing difficulty i may die before next spring

Anonymous Wed Nov 21 14:30:20 2018 No.10157639

>>10157632
I'm majoring in c-mol as well, good luck to you. If you don't mind my prying, what kind of amnesia do you have? And are you asthmatic? In a feeble attempt to reassure you, you're probably just quite intelligent and a good student, most biology majors are brainlets who don't belong in the field and do not take their studies very seriously since they just want to go to med school or get jobs in pharmaceuticals or to please their parents with an easy STEM degree.

Anonymous Wed Nov 21 14:34:45 2018 No.10157650

>>10157639
i cannot remember anything from high school most of it is probably just false information, and if you were to ask me about last week i might decline to speak with you because i find speech very challenging and recalling that information is usually impossible.My breathing issues come from autonomic dysfunction so basically my nervous system is giving out and it may no longer be able to control my heart and lungs correctly.

what i usually do before exams is just study ever day before the test if i take a 1 week break i will forget everything and need to start over.

Anonymous Wed Nov 21 14:37:41 2018 No.10157662

>>10157650
Congenital illness a burden I wouldn't wish on my enemies, doing better than most though it seems. How long have you had the aphasia and amnesia? I would assume with your heart and lung problems its not related to a head injury from sports, no? And honestly man I have really terrible memory, I have only flashes of my childhood left in my early twenties and routinely lose whole weeks' worth of experiences after like 20 days elapsed.

Anonymous Wed Nov 21 14:43:32 2018 No.10157673

>>10157662
it has been progressing slowly i say about a month ago i have started to avoid conversations, people ask me hard questions sometimes like to remember things and it has become very challenging, the amnesia has also began around a month ago, i have given up on trying to remember my past it is to challenging to attempt any more, as far as the breathing issues we think it is an autoimmune illness because of blood markers and process of elimination. so i am doing an MRI of the spine to check for lesions we most likely will find nothing though, it may be a brain lesion but the doctors are reluctant to order it.I am also doing psychological testing soon too, my verbal and spatial IQ last time was 137 last November, it has likely dropped by now though, and memory has already been below 77 so i have a memory impairment aMCI (amnesic mild cognitive impairment)

Anonymous Wed Nov 21 16:07:00 2018 No.10157863

GAD, which make me an obssesive perfectionist and intrusive/obssesive thoughts are my everyday's bread, and by "thoughts" doesn't mean bad thoughts. It can be anything, I sometimes can't sleep knowing how many things are not discovered yet and how complex fields like maths or physics are. To be honest I don't like being diagnose with a mental illness/disorder, I prefer to think that I just have a brain that is a little different than others and has its own struggles like everyone else, I needed a diagnosis since I was struggling with this a long time ago (8 yo) and now I'm taking meds which at least help me having a good sleep and be more chill

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 21 17:15:16 2018 No.10158031 >>10147677 >allowing yourself to be diagnosed with anything Why?

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 21 22:34:32 2018 No.10158598 >>10147677 I have mild intellectual disability

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 21 22:42:03 2018 No.10158607 >>10157673 Where do you live? This is a serious question. If small town just the state, city I'd be curious to know.

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 21 23:52:46 2018 No.10158762 >>10158607 Why though?

>>	Anonymous Thu Nov 22 00:15:22 2018 No.10158800 >>10158762 I want to identify certain correlations in the present and future.

>>	OP !UofeyHYdiM Thu Nov 22 00:50:53 2018 No.10158849 >>10148345 Try third shift gas station clerk.

>>	Anonymous Thu Nov 22 08:53:42 2018 No.10159431 >>10149236 shit, I have this a lot where I see someone watching me from my peripherals and then when I look over it's just a plant or whatever. should I get my eyes checked out?

>>	Anonymous Thu Nov 22 09:23:11 2018 No.10159467 I suck at sleeping.

Anonymous Thu Nov 22 12:24:14 2018 No.10159671

I have ADHD-I along with some sensory issues. No autism though, as I don't fit the social criteria.

btw, ADHD is not really an attention "deficit" disorder. You just have "trouble" directing it to the stuff you "should" be doing. I'd rather have my creativity than medicate it away, to be honest.

Also I think high IQ should be classed as neurodivergence, at least once you get past 145 SD 15. It can cause symptoms observed in other conditions (e.g. autism) but only on the surface.

>>	Anonymous Thu Nov 22 14:35:43 2018 No.10159891 >>10159671 Autism is brain damage. Stop conflating savantism with "high IQ".

>>	Anonymous Thu Nov 22 15:06:10 2018 No.10159943 >>10148741 Good for you Hankel ;)

>>	Anonymous Thu Nov 22 15:22:02 2018 No.10159973 >>10159467 Stop using computer

>>	Anonymous Thu Nov 22 15:23:42 2018 No.10159974 bipolar disorder I'm a freshman I don't know yet but Calc 1 seems easy now

>>	Blank Thu Nov 22 15:40:09 2018 No.10160004 >>10147677 Yes

Anonymous Thu Nov 22 15:44:14 2018 No.10160010

Depression and ADD.

I am doing terribly and I see no reason to not blow my fucking brains out soon. Everything in life is based on performance, and being better so someone can use you like a fucking tool that completes work on time. If you don't, you fall in standing in life and are completely worthless and unemployable.

>below minimum GPA?
>AUTOMATIC DISCARDED FROM OPPORTUNITIES LMAO
>grades aren't everything, anon!
>go to apply for research
>first thing they ask is GPA so they can discriminate against you.

>>	Anonymous Thu Nov 22 15:57:57 2018 No.10160030 >>10160010 maybe you are just stupid?

>>	Anonymous Thu Nov 22 16:55:45 2018 No.10160128 >>10148067 same here, except it wasn't night time. what's wrong with us brehs?

Anonymous Thu Nov 22 19:49:31 2018 No.10160410

>>10147677
Bipolar I and nope it is not helpful in anyway. It ruins all my relationships with professors (except one) and my all of my progress. I can destroy and good semester in 1-2 weeks. And my manic episodes are so fucking embarrassing. The drug binges and risk taking are okay though. Pretty fun desu. I am convinced that I'm going to kill myself before I generally get to graduate just because it's so unpredictable. Sometimes I could be doing so well then I can't get out of bed for months. Or I'm energized and depressed and that where the suicidal attempts come in. Already fucked up my kidneys apparently but I think the doctor was just trying to scare me. Depression is terrifying once you've had a taste of a productive and fulfilling life.

Anonymous Thu Nov 22 21:16:47 2018 No.10160521

>>10147677

When I was younger I had severe OCD, and it literally destroyed my life. I pushed through it, (self imposed "exposure therapy/CBT"), and got it down to about 80% gone. It shows up in my personality though as I have no tolerance for uncertainty. I do math and it's a double edged sword. On the one hand I'm very rigorous and meticulous and need everything to be explicit/convincing/justified before I accept the proof. On the other hand I often have this nagging feeling of uncertainty even after I know I've proven something... like "is this really 100% absolutely bulletproof" and I have to affirm that it is more than a normal person I think. Being so uncertain is also often crippling since it makes things seem overwhelming or unapproachable. Then there's the depression which is the dominant force wrecking my life these days, but that's another story.

Anonymous Thu Nov 22 21:24:49 2018 No.10160529

>>10160521
That nagging uncertainty is called intelligence and sanity. It's fortunate you have it, uncertainty, realism, and proper error control is what separates man from glorified automatons masquerading as humans, despite the flesh and blood that they are.

>>	Anonymous Thu Nov 22 21:33:07 2018 No.10160547 >>10160010 have you tried actually being a real person and socializing to get places? did elon create paypal with other people or did he do it based on his gpa

>>	Anonymous Thu Nov 22 21:34:15 2018 No.10160549 >>10147677 I have mild hypochondria. Sometimes strikes hard but mostly I keep it under control.

>>	Anonymous Fri Nov 23 10:03:32 2018 No.10161338 >>10159891 What in my comment are you replying to? are you hallucinating? Also >Autism is brain damage .. laughable misinformation

Anonymous Fri Nov 23 11:07:15 2018 No.10161396
File: 32 KB, 400x400, costanza_400x400.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Anxiety, half and half asocial and antisocial behavior.
Makes me very good at manipulation and stand up comedy. Makes me in general get tired of being around people cause I am constantly performing for them.

>>	Anonymous Fri Nov 23 11:10:13 2018 No.10161399 >>10160549 r u med student?

>>	Anonymous Fri Nov 23 11:11:49 2018 No.10161404 probably undiagnosed depression since a kid

>>	Anonymous Fri Nov 23 12:34:01 2018 No.10161524 >>10161338 >.. laughable misinformation No.

>>	Anonymous Fri Nov 23 13:54:16 2018 No.10161619 >>10161524 gee really makes me think

Anonymous Sat Nov 24 10:48:50 2018 No.10163349

>>10161619
Neuroanatomical studies and the associations with teratogens strongly suggest that autism's mechanism includes alteration of brain development soon after conception.[69] This anomaly appears to start a cascade of pathological events in the brain that are significantly influenced by environmental factors.[79] Just after birth, the brains of children with autism tend to grow faster than usual, followed by normal or relatively slower growth in childhood. It is not known whether early overgrowth occurs in all children with autism. It seems to be most prominent in brain areas underlying the development of higher cognitive specialization.[49]

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 24 11:04:29 2018 No.10163370 >>10150136 tits or gtfo

Anonymous Sat Nov 24 11:27:43 2018 No.10163396

>>10161619
In brief, autism is associated with:
-Altered dendritic spine formation and axonal guidance, particularly in the mid second trimester
-Changes shortly after birth which prime microglia for chronic, long term neuroinflammation.
-Gut problems, which will also cause brain damage over time.

The core of autism appears to be the first on the list, with the rest either adding on, or following from that mechanism. Refer to the genetic polymorphism causing Timothy Syndrome for more.

Most of the altered neurodevelopment of autism has to do with peripheral bodily dysfunction, it's a response to neurological insult, and it's degenerative over time.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 24 11:36:42 2018 No.10163413 >>10163349 >>10163396 != brain damage

Anonymous Sat Nov 24 18:46:43 2018 No.10164079
File: 764 KB, 1920x1280, 1526822790583.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Schizoid PD. Apparently not much ayone can do to help me, but usually Im fine anyways.
Doesnt really help with studies. I usually pass everything but with abysmal grades. Not sure if I can even do a physics masters with a gpa of 1.5 (which isnt as bad in germania as it is in the US far as I know).

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 24 18:54:42 2018 No.10164093 >>10147677 chaotic thought processes can sometimes be helpful and sometimes be harming. the fact that they happen at all means they are helpful for a reasonable individual.

Anonymous Sat Nov 24 19:22:02 2018 No.10164133

>>10163413
Neuroinflammation causes cell death, stripping of dendritic spines (reduced arborization), low grade demyelination. Altered Ca2+ homeostasis, as in Timothy Syndrome, also causes elevated levels of free radicals, bad synaptogenesis, and cell death.

It's brain damage. One of my earliest "biases" was the idea of damaging something to make it work better, that's what I thought as a kid. There are many cases where you can achieve better functional characteristics in some respects by damaging a machine, but it's rarely so simple even in a case where that does happen.

We need to stop normalizing autism as "woo rainman!" (who actually had agenesis of the corpus callosum), and start taking it much more seriously. Parents that already have autistic kids do, the broader culture does not.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 24 19:32:40 2018 No.10164156 File: 1.25 MB, 400x400, 1513640157160.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>10164133 >self-diagnosed a movie character woooo, man, I'll tell you what

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 24 19:34:36 2018 No.10164159 >>10164156 I didn't diagnose anything, he's based on Kim Peek and brain imaging has been done on him. Don't be a dickhead.

Anonymous Sat Nov 24 21:39:46 2018 No.10164330

I have narcolepsy w/ cataplexy and it blows dicks. Junior in ChemEng w/ high gpa but I'm not sure if I can be in the field w/ cataplexy so I'm thinking of taking the LSAT next year to study patent law. Can someone call me a retard or is it a solid plan?

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 24 21:43:06 2018 No.10164340 >>10164133 What is the need? I really don't care if your children get autism because you jacked off too much and the only lady you could find was 45, not that there is anything wrong with that. I see no need, no why, no purpose.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 24 21:56:03 2018 No.10164363 >>10164156 I want to impregnate this woman.

>>	Anonymous Sat Nov 24 22:00:21 2018 No.10164370 >>10147677 I got diagnosed as a sperg when I went to rehab, but I don't know if it holds much weight. They tend to just slap some kind of label on anyone who goes there.

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 25 09:01:16 2018 No.10165238 >>10164370 why do they do it?

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 25 09:14:19 2018 No.10165252 No, I'm completely normal and nobody would even spot me as severely animefag anon.

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 25 11:12:23 2018 No.10165394 >>10150080 That sounds like me, but I also see things (like bugs crawling up the wall very fast).

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 25 11:32:36 2018 No.10165412 >>10164340 Autism is caused by vaccines, bodily load of toxic compounds, and wireless devices. It's not hard to graph and the mechanistic links are there with all of them. Glyphosate as well.

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 25 12:07:02 2018 No.10165453 >>10148144 lmao

Anonymous Sun Nov 25 14:03:39 2018 No.10165606

>>10165238
I don't know, but absolutely every single kid there was diagnosed with something, be it depression, OCD, anxiety, or something else. They would also look for absolutely any reason to medicate you. If you couldn't sleep (natural, considering most people were brought there against their will) they would load you up with trazodone. not a fun place

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 25 17:05:26 2018 No.10165903 Assburgers or maybe some personality disorder like schizotypal. Also deprrssion from being a social retard

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 25 17:11:07 2018 No.10165914 >>10165903 same on the assburgs my frend

Anonymous Sun Nov 25 17:12:44 2018 No.10165917 [DELETED]

File: 84 KB, 250x341, TIMESAND___wet2c44c4t42dffgrtyddrge56oidtyjwtyiw67oe8oepoue6stjfgcvbfhdtyff5f4y8458ino9j.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I noticed how much John Nash looks like Jenna. It is disgusting (I assume they are related) that they did it to him and now they use her to do it to me, and she feels togetherness with those who did it to him.

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 25 17:13:52 2018 No.10165919 File: 26 KB, 425x239, TRINITY___Beep.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>10164156

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 25 21:39:04 2018 No.10166347 >>10159431 No, what you're seeing is real.

Anonymous Sun Nov 25 21:58:05 2018 No.10166373
File: 46 KB, 250x250, cf63d44a.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>bipolar disorder
Yes and no. Quite obvious how.
>ednos
The net total help is on the negative side, I'd say. Sure, walking is good for both mind and body, but worrying about food can occupy my mind completely.
>audiovisual hallucinations
Pretty irrelevant, a slight distraction.
>homosexuality
This one helps, as I hate myself because of this, so I try to justify my existence by being good at what I do.

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 25 22:15:11 2018 No.10166387 File: 46 KB, 250x250, 1543201085045.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>10166373 Optimized.

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 25 22:20:41 2018 No.10166392 >>10166387 >optimized >same file size absolutely shameful

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 25 22:34:52 2018 No.10166402 File: 7 KB, 250x242, 1534021827036.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] I go through phases of extreme productivity and phases of complete lazyness and depression. No its not helpful it is fucking annoying

>>	Anonymous Sun Nov 25 22:38:47 2018 No.10166408 >>10150438 Same here, I get visual snow and the trail remaining thing. I just thought it was normal.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 26 01:36:50 2018 No.10166680 >>10147677 ahdh no it fucking doesnt and I hate it

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 26 01:45:45 2018 No.10166694 >>10166408 it is normal. hppd seems to be a massive increase in visual snow as well as crippling depression

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 26 01:59:39 2018 No.10166706 >>10147677 ass burgers and shitsophrenia It helps by keeping me inside my apt studying 24/7, but cant make meaningful connections to use as leverage when i need something, there fore i must do everything myself. Its a double edged sword

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 26 09:07:02 2018 No.10167230 I haven't been diagnosed with anything cause never got checked. But seeing and hearing how others see and process information i can tell my brain works in a different way.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 26 11:36:21 2018 No.10167427 >>10150455 >It's funny how fucked up you can get when parents don't raise you and guide you/talk to you about your feelings and you end up lurking internet and having no perspective whatsoever fucker

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 26 11:41:05 2018 No.10167432 The only complement I ever received from my father was being called an idiot savant

Anonymous Mon Nov 26 13:40:13 2018 No.10167628

>>10147677
I have Autism but very High Functioning, My moms psychology prof was astonished when I was around 5yo and speaking and communicating when diagnosed at ~2yo.

Was never interested in learning nor school for all of Jr High qnd High school. I hated math and thought it was boring.

I am now deciding 5years after Highschool that I really fucking love Math and am Getting enrolled next fall for the program.

I Taught myself Calculus, Simple Diff eq, Matrix Algebra, Logic, and Set Theory in the span of two years and what i noticed is overall most people that are Autistic do generally have good logical thinking and reasoning skills which is an advantage. Also we can compute things better and faster with more practice in a shorter period of time.

However i can communicate decently its just more of how i prefer not to put my self in communities or major social groups. I have 2 friends and thats it. I also have a GF suprisingly as i thought that this would never happen to me in a million life times.

Anonymous Mon Nov 26 13:50:18 2018 No.10167643

>>10147677
Legit aspie
Not helpful honestly other than that I go very deeply into topics I’m interested in and can pay attention to one thing for long periods. But you can train for those qualities.
Also low, but not zero empathy. Not particularly helpful in science but it is for navigating the corporate world

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 26 13:58:03 2018 No.10167658 File: 54 KB, 629x354, 123.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] i feel like i'm about to fall / i gasp for air when just about to fall asleep. anyone else get this? not exactly worried about it but it's deffo annoying

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 26 14:00:51 2018 No.10167669 >>10167658 i’m sure that’s a normal thing. Can you breath fine?

Anonymous Mon Nov 26 14:16:33 2018 No.10167725

>>10167669
yeah, luckily. it's just a sort of gasp right before falling asleep. happens a few times before i'm finally asleep
gah sleeping feels so good but trying to go to sleep is the worst. i feel like i'm particularly susceptible to losing the plot at that stage of the day

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 26 14:20:27 2018 No.10167741 >>10167725 If your struggling breathing or you feel like your throat is closed then I would worry. What your experienceing is normal

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 26 14:50:27 2018 No.10167930 >>10167741 thanks dood

Anonymous Mon Nov 26 20:19:17 2018 No.10169140
File: 185 KB, 1000x669, 1538751506719.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>10148874
I was once diagnosed with anorexia in high school just because I wanted to loose some weight. fukcing idiots wasting taxpayer money on a kid who wanted to loose weight when we have a fucking obesity epidemic.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 26 22:04:24 2018 No.10169428 >>10157863 What do you take? I recently had a huge spike of anxiety that caused me to restart taking ssri's. I hadn't taken any since 2015.

>>	Anonymous Mon Nov 26 22:08:01 2018 No.10169437 >>10169140 how did this happen?

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 27 00:43:17 2018 No.10169681 >>10169437 I had a bad case of food poisoning once and had to go to the doctor. Whilst there I mentioned I was on a diet and because i wasn't massivly obese they decided to report it to the child mental health services as anorexia.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 27 00:48:55 2018 No.10169688 ADD Beneficial for multitasking, unhelpful for remaining focused.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 27 07:17:32 2018 No.10170105 >>10169688 How is multitasking beneficial? Did you first had ADD or started to multitask? Maybe you just trained your brain to switch tasks and it makes it satisfied... It's mistake in decision not brains failure.

Anonymous Tue Nov 27 07:23:12 2018 No.10170109

>>10153120
Psychosis is acute symptom.

>>10155314
There is shitload of non Rx stuff that can help with this.

>>10156625
Treatment of it is like punishment from Satan, when you consider side effects of some treatments like e.g. possible lactation or you can choose to have really bad muscle spasm instead... Really fun gift.

>>10159973
Doesn't have to help, I would rather recommend less usage of stimulants and do some ritual and mild sedatives before sleep optionally going uberman or different polyphasic.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 27 07:39:17 2018 No.10170128 >>10165606 People don't need to go to rehab for no reason. They don't get addicted to shit for no reason. 9/10 it's a mental health issue.

Anonymous Tue Nov 27 10:29:24 2018 No.10170334

Diagnosed with secondary depression and ADHD, but the attention deficit is more akin to Sluggish Cognitive Tempo (SCT) which I have Vyvanse for.
I also have thoughts that others can read my mind, my mother in particular, and I feel as if I have some sort of clairvoyance, which is due to me being able to accurately guess events (for example, I guessed what cards my friend had in her hand 7 times in a row, when we were playing the 'Higher or Lower' card game and the same has gone for rolls of dice many times).
The clairvoyance isn't always there, but it's happened too many times to me to dismiss it as coincidence.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 27 10:33:45 2018 No.10170339 >>10170334 Regarding science, I'm a mathematics undergrad and I don't feel that it's helped me in my studies. The vyvanse has, though.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 27 14:48:01 2018 No.10170715 >>10170128 Sometimes you get to psychiatric hospital just because you don't agree with certain things and you want too much of explanations that cannot be satisfied, you do not obey the order of authority because of that, then you are crazy.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 27 14:52:23 2018 No.10170723 >>10147684 wtf I don't believe in ghosts now

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 27 23:16:50 2018 No.10171659 File: 31 KB, 680x677, trike.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] anxiety disorder almost caused me to drop out of college, but now I've got it under control. my pathological self-doubt helps me check my methodology for flaws.

>>	Anonymous Tue Nov 27 23:42:12 2018 No.10171693 File: 115 KB, 519x629, mood-scale.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>10147677 >>10147677 Bipolar 1 here. No it doesn't help, but manic episodes are more euphoric and psychedelic than any drug I've ever tried. 10/10 would recommend.

Anonymous Wed Nov 28 00:52:44 2018 No.10171790

>>10147677
Never, but I've never met with a counselor or anything so maybe its possible but I doubt it.

Have an appointment with a substance abuse specialist/counselor for free through uni tomorrow bc why not I continue to do retarded shit that fucks my life up and felt pretty bad as a kid lol idk
>family's always kinda ragged on mental health shit always
>very supportive though, kinda agree fuck that shit
>cut a lot when 11-12 idek why
>could be cause I was a shitty bully little kid and had a good reason to hate self and want to change
>find drugs and lose extremely hateful personality
>smoke weed erryday 12-now
>pharms lol around 13 continuing with intensity
>unlimited free 80mg oxycontin around 14, physical opiate addiction ensues
>not until 16 or so tho cause I kept a handle on shit at first
>still diverse drug cocktails of psychedelics and pharmaceuticals that whole time
>always using these to dodge addiction tho lol
>do heroin and meth everyday for like a year 17-18
>get clean from hard drugs while still got in college and maintain 3.5 in chemical engineering surprisingly
>still constantly relapse and opiates or even kratom lol and withdrawal like constantly once again
>go to healthplace at school and get free psychiatric service (6 meetings free can be a psychiatrist too)
>why the fuck not
>setup meeting with "substance abuse specialist"
>meetings tomorrow

pretty amazing for depression though I still do drugs lol.
Probably nobody rly cares but I wonder what they will say

What do /sci/? Any good psychiatric drugs that actually help? Need to stop abusing amphetamine and found this herbal ssri called kanna thats been pretty amazing for depression though I still do drugs lel

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 28 00:54:21 2018 No.10171792 >>10171790 oops somehow i cut out found an amazing herb for depression for me so far called kanna not referring to psychiatrist idk

Anonymous Wed Nov 28 03:01:23 2018 No.10171941

>>10147677
bipolar 1. Sure as shit hasn't helped. My mania struck during school years. Too ashamed to return after my last drop out. Not sure why i haven't gotten around to the helium yet.

>>10171693
can vouch for the magic feeling of being bat shit insane.

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 28 03:04:52 2018 No.10171945 File: 126 KB, 1024x768, 1541939755679.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>10171941 xd dude nice post

Anonymous Wed Nov 28 03:51:08 2018 No.10172002
File: 39 KB, 490x350, 1508690911281.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>10171945
i already regret my formulation and the post itself, i cant delete it now. Luckily for me this place is anonymous. So i can just walk away from my retarded blog post.

also i don't like you

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 28 03:58:48 2018 No.10172017 >>10171945 extremely pretentious and rude for no reason, you should harm yourself or end your life painfully >>10172002 don't worry anon he's off to kill himself now so you don't have to

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 28 05:48:25 2018 No.10172141 >>10147677 I got ADHD but won't go to the doctor to get it diagnosed

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 28 06:41:54 2018 No.10172172 >>10148345 try modafinil

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 28 12:37:46 2018 No.10172674 >>10172141 so you have no adhd if you have no diagnosis

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 28 12:41:09 2018 No.10172688 >>10148067 i did exact same at my buddies house but that was alcohol

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 28 12:57:24 2018 No.10172719 >>10171693 I've been at 1 for some time now. Luckily I'm able to have a split mind. :^)

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 28 12:59:54 2018 No.10172723 >>10147677 ADHD. access to amphetamines makes studying much easier. the disorder itself is annoying sometimes but it also makes "killing time" very easy since you can just sit there and think about retarded shit and hours disappear

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 28 13:01:33 2018 No.10172726 >>10147677 Mentally ill people are dumber, especially schizophrenics and autists. Americans are so silly.

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 28 13:15:33 2018 No.10172772 >>10172726 your iq is not related to the disease, it can impar your cognitive ability but your overall iq is a separately determined metric

>>	Anonymous Wed Nov 28 13:29:14 2018 No.10172804 >>10172772 Pulling things out of our ass I see.

>>	Anonymous Thu Nov 29 02:48:52 2018 No.10174501 >>10147677 bump

>>	Anonymous Thu Nov 29 03:00:45 2018 No.10174511 >>10172772 it's pretty obviously related to the disease m8. hence disease

>>	Anonymous Thu Nov 29 03:23:06 2018 No.10174532 >>10150455 Internet raised me for a good part of my life. I turned out to be a massive fucking loser.

>>	Anonymous Thu Nov 29 03:30:19 2018 No.10174549 >>10172726 >schizo autism is a disorder of high intelligence. And schizophrenia though associated with low intelligence is associated with high imagination https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4927579/

>>	Anonymous Thu Nov 29 03:37:03 2018 No.10174557 >>10147677 I suffer from brainletism

Anonymous Thu Nov 29 03:42:17 2018 No.10174567

>>10174549
Schizo isn't associated with low intelligence.

Untreated schizo can fry your brain and make you less intelligent, that much is true, but according to research more intelligent people are more likely to develop schizophrenia.

Schizo is associated with higher intelligence and higher creativity and imagination.

This correlation between high intelligence and schizo can be explained in various ways though. For example more intelligent people are more likely to use drugs, and people who take drugs are more likely to trigger schizophrenia. Or more intelligent people have more loosened and vast associations, are wired in a way in their brain that makes them more vulnerable to psychosis. There are other explanations too..

>>	Anonymous Thu Nov 29 03:45:48 2018 No.10174570 >>10147677 ADD, problematic motor development that led to me focusing on my intellect. Oh, I'm probably on the spectrum too.

>>	Anonymous Thu Nov 29 04:05:26 2018 No.10174596 >>10171693 I always imagined manic episodes as a bit like LSD/1P-LSD. What would you say?

>>	Anonymous Thu Nov 29 04:14:10 2018 No.10174606 >>10148050 I wish I could avoid talking to people that long. My parents are perma-afraid, and would go nuts if I don't call at least once a day.

Anonymous Thu Nov 29 04:33:37 2018 No.10174628

>>10148710
Speaking of nerve pain, I can totally relate to that.
Always liked extremely spicy food till the point that I did quite a bit of damage to my stomach (H.Pylori).
I just simply can ignore pain at will.

Not long ago, I stretched a tendon (EXTREMELY), nearly severed it actually.
Managed to mostly sleep it off to the day after and still go to the ER and attempt to walk there (I stopped at some point though, nit because of any pain, but because my foot couldn't support my weight - at all).
Also, managed to get a few blunt trauma injuries where I insisted on not taking any pain meds, docs and nurses couldn't believe me at some point.

I just somehow manage to do something similar to what you described, controlling my perception of pain.

>>	Anonymous Thu Nov 29 04:33:43 2018 No.10174629 >>10174567 you didn't even read the paper..

>>	Anonymous Thu Nov 29 04:48:21 2018 No.10174655 >>10174570 >>10174628 Would add I had a mildly botched circumcision at 7 yo, stitches failed twice. Could that explain my inorgazmia? (even though my parasympathetic nervous system behaves nominally in any medial inspection). Plz halp, /sci/.

>>	Anonymous Thu Nov 29 06:00:16 2018 No.10174744 >>10147677 I love fucking with individuals i care for the most

Anonymous Thu Nov 29 08:39:12 2018 No.10174902

Science was my thing since I was four or five and discovered the unseen world within the lake in my backyard. Kids knew me as the science guy who ordered and raised Cecropia and Luna moths,
who was commissioned to give biology talks to different classes and even to the entire elementary school once. That was also around the time that I was diagnosed with ADHD and years later major depression. ADHD and the intermittant MDD that sprouts up under certain circumstances every 5 or so years exist solely to place me on the precipice of ruin making me have to claw my way back up so I don't fail my life's purpose.

>>10150080
Yo, I was working on doctorate in Clinical Psychology and Beh. Neuroscience before the most recent MDD episode a few years back (fought back and am now about to finish the Stem Cell Bio graduate program at my university.)
Your descriptions are strong indicators that you may be entering the prodrome of schizophrenia (a 1-2 year long phase prior to the onset of SZ proper). How old are you? That would be helpful to know.

>>	Anonymous Thu Nov 29 13:15:12 2018 No.10175337 >>10147677 I'm just dyslexic but I feel that it actually helps me idiot proof what I'm saying.

>>	Anonymous Thu Nov 29 13:16:30 2018 No.10175340 >>10174629 he is right regardless schizophrenia is more common at genius iq levels and seems to be preserved because it goes-with those alleles

>>	Anonymous Thu Nov 29 13:24:07 2018 No.10175358 >>10147677 I just finished watching A Beautiful Mind, and one particular part got me: When the 70s kids mock the way Nash walked to his face. This didn't really happened, right? In Princeton of all places, to Nash of all people.

>>	Anonymous Thu Nov 29 13:25:24 2018 No.10175362 >>10147677 Adult ADHD, unmedicated. It requires my utmost dicipline to just function but I get through

>>	Anonymous Thu Nov 29 15:52:57 2018 No.10175649 >>10147677 atypical depression, cptsd, bulimic it doesn't help, it's actually pretty inconvenient

That guy with a red shirt Thu Nov 29 16:14:07 2018 No.10175685
File: 28 KB, 680x553, guessilldienow.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Mild aspergers.

I usually get better grades than the average, but few times upper than 1 standard deviation.
I excel in languages tho. I speak Spanish, English and Chinese.
But socializing...
>Sucks at socializing
>Looks kinda creepy or kinda randomly funny
>Smart enough to look really smart above the average person. Not smart enough to excel in studies.
>No gf
>Always wishing not being born with assburgers
>See other aspies. They're retarded, and worst of all, they behave as me.
>No emotion in life
>Easily manipulable

>>	Anonymous Thu Nov 29 19:30:46 2018 No.10176078 >>10149476 you're talking about troxel hall at iowa state university

Anonymous Thu Nov 29 20:01:59 2018 No.10176132

>>10147677
High Functioning Autism (but apparently its actually Aspergers)

It doesnt, im not a scientist, Im just socially pathethic. They always said Ill be really good at doing one thing, and I still havent fucking found it.
The only reason I keep my grades is to further decieve myself that I can call myself something positive.

Anonymous Fri Nov 30 06:30:16 2018 No.10176939

>>10176078
>troxel hall
Haha those are huge. But actually, it's in KTH in Stockholm. And like, they're part of the ventilation system, so they lead into a wall sort of it's pitch black behind them you know they're like small openings into a box so not much light coming from inside there at all. So if that type of contrast wasn't there I don't think I'd be seeing the same stuff

>>	Anonymous Fri Nov 30 13:36:52 2018 No.10177653 >>10175649 >cptsd why?

>>	Anonymous Fri Nov 30 17:31:14 2018 No.10178192 >>10147677 bump lol >:}

>>	Anonymous Fri Nov 30 22:06:40 2018 No.10178784 >>10147677 I'm addicted to 4chan and no they don't help me in science, they just make me feel like I'm pretty awesome when I'm not. :c

>>	Anonymous Fri Nov 30 23:33:45 2018 No.10179002 >>10174655 Yes. Did you get it for phimosis?

Anonymous Fri Nov 30 23:58:44 2018 No.10179052
File: 31 KB, 406x229, myb.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>10171941
>>10171945
>>10172002
>>10172017
>diagnosed with bipolar 1
>get back to my computer after ranting about psychotic breaks during school years in my car
>see this post that was published 2 minutes ago
>get angry that my paranoia thoughts are true and that people watch and listen to me
>reply
>check back days later, see I'm told to kill myself

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 1 01:55:57 2018 No.10179206 >>10171693 > religious delusions Man oh man and I a ten, then a two...then a ten. Vicious cycle.

>>	Anonymous Sat Dec 1 01:58:22 2018 No.10179208 >>10179052 You know I'd like to be a voice in the head of someone :>

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/sci/ - Science & Math