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/sci/ - Science & Math

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10120921 No.10120921 [Reply] [Original]

>tfw 90% chance I'm dropping out of college within the next 3 weeks.
I spent 5 and half years in undergrad and I couldn't make it.

>> No.10120942

>>10120921
Why quit now?

>> No.10120950

>>10120942
anxiety is getting to me and my mental health is deteriorating.
i really don't think i should have gone to college or even deserve to stay here
i passed my classes and did ok (no i didn't cheat) but i feel like i didn't work hard enough and that i don't know if i'm going to make it

sorry for blogpost

>> No.10120962

Mental health is more important than a degree. You spent that much time, you have the credits, that's not going to change. If you need some time off to get your head right, fine. You can always come back later to finish out a degree if that's what you decide you need to do. Or not, that's fine too. A degree is useless if you wreck yourself getting it.

>> No.10120965

>>10120921
I am a random stranger that you will never meet on the internet and I truly want you to succeed and finish your degree. You must find within yourself the mental will to also want to succeed.

>t. someguy that started uni at 22 and finished in 7 years.

>> No.10120970

>>10120921
finish strong nigger especially if its a STEM degree, don’t be stupid.

>> No.10120974

>>10120950
You have low self-esteem. Fix that.
t. faggot with nonexistent self-esteem who thinks same stupid thoughts

>> No.10120978
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10120978

>>10120921
>Tfw you unlocked your mental potential way after college
>TFW you finally understood what your math and engineering professors have said but on a level that cannot be said with words other than "intuition"
>tfw you will never ever look at an eigenvalue problem from a physical perspective ever again

>> No.10120985

>>10120962
I don't know what I'd do with myself if I dropped out.

>>10120965
>You must find within yourself the mental will to also want to succeed.
The willpower is running out. I've been doing this for too long.
I might actually fail my first class for non-faggy reasons (failed two classes because social anxiety because I didn't show up to the final) and it's really fucking with me.

>>10120970
I really should but I don't know if I could keep going on. I'm honestly just tired of living.

>>10120974
Low self esteem, fear of failure, never living up to expectations.
I don't know how to fix this.

>>10120978
>tfw probably going insane

>> No.10122192

i seriously empathize op and it makes me happy to see at least someone else like me.
i don't really know why i come to this board, maybe i just like looking through the window. i'm a junior right now (CE) but i've drawn out a plan and because of classes i've failed or withdrew from it's gonna take me total 5 and a half years to graduate; and that's assuming everything goes right with the plan, which it won't.
i'm really reluctant to call what i have "social anxiety" because like you i think it sounds faggy and dishonest. but there's really no other term for it, i'm scared of the world and of other people. i get paranoid walking around on campus. in fact i'm skipping class right now so i don't have to look at people or have to interact with them or dodge professors in the hallway or whatever.

maybe it could be described as an extremely low energy level. i don't have the drive to even do basic tasks. i can't focus on things and i'm incredibly unwilling to start something

>> No.10122790

>>10122192
I haven't failed a major class yet, but I'm about to fail my first one.

It's all presentation based, and I can't fucking handle talking to people, especially when I know I'm presenting worthless work.
Having to do these nonstop finally got to me. I'm going to go NEETmode

>> No.10122815

>>10122790
get the fuck out of this website and force yourself to interact with others in class. I mean it. Every time i end up using this website less, my mental health gets so much better. Stop spending so much time on the internet in general and invest into hobbies that give you more long term happiness. I’m not telling you to go out and go skydiving or some shit, but don’t become a shut in and avoid socialisation because once you start living like that, it becomes so much harder to get out of that lifestyle. Go to the library, cook yourself some nice meals, joke around with others during class. Every now and then you will feel shit but overall it will be so much better than before. Fix your diet, take vitamins, GET OUT OF YOUR ROOM. Avoid all ‘safe places’ such as your room and only use them for sleep, THEY’RE CATALYSTS OF DEPRESSION/ANXIETY DISGUISED AS GOOD THINGS.
Best of luck OP. i really empathise, don’t give up and remember that you can help advance humanity, just don’t give up and don’t become a slave to your emotions.

>> No.10122820

>>10122790
Should've studied math, retard

>> No.10122942

>>10122815
I just shut down under pressure. The vast majority of my thoughts are about stuff I'm supposed to be doing in college, how much of a loser I am, or panic attacks because I get those on a daily basis now.
I'm just so fucking tired of going to class, fucking up my homework, and letting everyone down, or at least I would be I'd anyone had any expectations of me at all anymore.
Everyone I know thinks I'm a loser, and they're right.
I'm a fucking shitty ass 3.2 gpa brainlet and I don't deserve to complain because I'm not working hard enough.
>Avoid all ‘safe places’ such as your room and only use them for sleep,
I only have enough time in my room to do that on most days. Feeling comfy in my room with no deadlines or things that must be done is the best part of my life.

>>10122820
Tbdesu if I drop out I'll just mathfag in my room for most of my spare time.

>> No.10122994

>>10120921
I got a bachelors in chemistry and work at Costco, even if you graduated your life was gonna be shit. Our generation got fucked in the ass honestly

>> No.10123017

I can relate, OP.

>majored in engineering and math
>suffered severe existential crisis and lost all motivation
>went from Dean's list to garbage
>still trying to figure out why I shouldn't kill myself while taking time off

The only saving grace is the fact that I have about 30 credits left, but I doubt I can finish due to poor mental health.

>> No.10123057

>>10120921
>he believed the diversity meme

>> No.10123063

>>10123017
I have 3-6 left plus a month left of this term.
I don't know if I can do it.

>> No.10123343

>>10120921
if you have a 100% practical degree that allows you to do stuff by yourself (like some engineering or CS that taught you programming), you could try doing stuff by yourself, or applying for jobs in the field. you don't really need a degree in some fields.

I dropped out of college after failing for 6 years and feeling like shit about it, so much that it apparently is the reason I fell ill shortly after dropping out (hodgkins lymphoma, I'm better now). after the treatment, I became a NEET for a couple of years (I had support from my family)... until I started doing stuff by myself. I would sell stuff through facebook or some shit, offer computer services (configs, fixing, anything related to computers), and at the same time, I kept learning more stuff (programming langs, security stuff). all of that helped me become what I am now. I work in a big corporation and get paid well.

point being: do what you need to do. if it's fucking with your mental/physical health, then leave, try looking for alternatives and start doing things by yourself. life isn't as restricted as getting a degree and then finding a job, and you don't even know if your degree will give you a nice, well paid job. it could easily become the contrary: your degree could give you a shitty badly paid job.

try doing what you like, as long as you can, and if your academic career is making you feel like shit, abandon it and look for different paths.

>> No.10123351

>>10120921
Crack down anon, just one last push. If you're not crying you're not trying.

>> No.10123426

>>10123343
I unironically want to become a NEET right now but I wouldn't be comfortable living with my parents while like that

>>10123351
I'm trying but I'm also actually crying right now

>> No.10123519

>>10120921
>psychology student here
>how it works is 3 years undergraduate
>then 7 years of doctorate
>university accept 200 students each year
>only 25 spots available for doctorate
>fucking huge competition
>you need straight A's or just forget it
>be me, fucking anxious
>never had a gf
>get gf, she helps me alot
>get them A's
>start working for professors and laboratories
>start going to congresses, present papers, make contacts
>approach a professor for a publication
>professor gives me data and resources, even pay me for doing it (direct way to doctorate)
>then the anxiety of publishing start to builds up
>i just go crazy, anxiety of performance
>gf drops me, never experienced that before, destroy me
>feminist bitch tell some people that I supposedly intimidated her psychologically and even sexually, which is false
>word spreads
>stop going to classes, no energy for research, no more will to finish writing the paper
>75 credits in (15 missing) i just drop school
>took a year off
>now studying math and physics
>life is much better now than it was

all in all dropping is not a bad thing, it can even help. But yeah I somehow miss that life, right now I would be 2 years in doctorate, I would be going to seminars, congresses and working on my thesis. Right now I'm just trying to figure my fucking math. But hey, it's not bad.

Anon, you really need to stop reinforcing your fear of social interactions. The more you hide, the worse it gets, that's how it works, it is a learned behavior. Social anxiety is among the easiest curable mental issue. Just consult a psychologist it will help you so much. All you need is some help, but 4chan really is the worse place for it, believe me, you are doing it wrong. Go out there, in the real world and get your shit together. You will make it :)

>> No.10123527

>>10123519
this

>> No.10123535

>>10123519
>now studying math and physics
Good luck finding a job buddy

>> No.10123557

>>10123519
>psychology
stopped reading there desu

>> No.10123567

Just try to hang in there a lil bit longer opee. How much longer/how many credits do you need to graduate? If you feel like you absolutely need time off to sort out your mental health situation do so, but if you can graduate in like 1 more semester, just give it all you got. In the end that piece of paper puts you at a slight advantage when it comes to employment

t. 26 year old dude that dropped out of college once, but returned 2 years later to finish (started at 18 and finished at 25) because a single professor re-ignited my love for chemistry and now I'm doing a PhD straight from bachelors

>> No.10123611

>>10123567
>How much longer/how many credits do you need to graduate?
One more semester after this one. I'm seriously behind in my class and I'm constantly breaking down because I'm afraid I'm going to fuck it up and fail
My parents really don't want me to drop out because of that. If i drop out I'm going full NEET mode.

Being in college this long has given me serious anxiety. I have this irrational fear that something bad is going to happen once I finish college because I can't imagine myself in the outside.

>> No.10123615

>>10123519
>Just consult a psychologist it will help you so much.
What would a psych do for me? Genuine question, non sarcastic?
I also just have anxiety in general. Not sure if I'm just being a fag but I get panic attacks sometimes (literally called 911 once lol) and I'm constantly plagued by irrational fears.

>> No.10123683

>>10122942
at least you aren't 2.03 gpa literal drooling retard
I have your exact problems but lower iq

>> No.10123686

>>10123519
>psychology
not science or mathematics
>>10123615
Nothing, psychologists are charlatans. They just had the most embarrassing replication crisis in the history of scientific research and are only very slowly recovering.

>> No.10123690

>>10123615
>What would a psych do for me? Genuine question, non sarcastic?

Cognitive-behavioral therapy

They are many branches in psychology and different approaches to help people experiencing mental health distress but among them the behavioral/cognitive approache definitely is the best regarding to the treatment of anxiety/phobia/behavior disorder. It is so easy for the behavioral psychologist to help you with that. General anxiety can be easily treated because it is the result of learned behavior and irrational thoughts. English is not my first language and it hard for me to go deeper into that stuff, but just keep in mind that psychologists are not funky people who pretend to read mind but rather they are truly specialist of the understanding of human behavior and cognition and the mechanisms regulating them. So what I suggest you, is a simple consultation with a behavioral/cognitive psychologist (almost all psychologist are from that branch now a day for the reasons I previously mentioned: it works, it is simple). The psychologist will simply figure out with you what keeps you under than anxiety and will expose you to your behaviors (avoiding public place is a behavior) and cognitions (having irrational thoughts/fear are cognitions). They will help you understand how you learn X behavior, how to change them, and they will help you disconstructing your irrational thoughts. Benefits come fast, then you can do it alone (just need couple sessions). I would suggest you to read a little bit about what anxiety is and how cognitive-behavioral therapy helps, but you are already overcome by college and the burden of anxiety and it can be tricky to understand it with no psychology background. I really suggest a consultation. If you don't have the money to afford a session, I suggest you to look if your college offer some counseling/talk-line with psychologist or what ever than could provide you resources. But if you can afford a psychologist, just go for it. gl :)

>> No.10123710

>>10123611
Opee, a bunch of strangers who have been in similar situations all say " just finish"

Give it all you got op. I guarantee you'll feel better at the end. Seek help from the medical department at school. They usually have counselors, you're NOT alone. I know you can finish.

Talk to a counselor and see how it goes. Talking things out with other people is very important and refreshing

>> No.10123731

>>10120921
do a flip, faggot

>> No.10123736

>>10120921
OP I was in a very similar situation to you

Was taking forever to get my degree, mental health was fading, depression was bad. See a therapist. Shit helps a lot. Take a semester off if you have to and work a non stressful job

>> No.10123855

>>10120921
I want to drop out at this point, but I only have one semester left anyway. I kept a 4.0 for three years, but I’ve been disillusioned because every class is just about parroting info back without any deeper knowledge involved. You have to cram your schedule with so much useless shit that it’s actually detrimental to spend time studying anything more in-depth than what the exams cover too.

>> No.10123863

>>10120921
If you're gonna fail, at least leech off the system and try to get the most out of it before you drop out. Check out clubs, internships, study abroad programs if you're into it. I'm in a similar situation and am trying to do these things to keep myself invested in this shit uni.

>> No.10123931

>sissy fags telling OP to drop out
Don't let depression get between your degree and you.
Don't forget we are legion and the hacker called 4chan. Depression is our way of life.

>> No.10123933

>>10122942
>3.2
how is that bad?

>> No.10123935

>>10123933
3.2 is slacker tier. STEM does get a break for its difficulty but your GPA should still be at least 3.6+.

>> No.10123998
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10123998

>>10123933
>tfw 2.95 pre-pharm and still don't know what to do with this useless paper
>>10123935
You're right, though. I was a massive fucking slacker. I'm trying to better myself every day, don't know what for. Just wish I could get a make-me-not-stupid-and-lazy pill.

>> No.10124001

>>10123998
>Just wish I could get a make-me-not-stupid-and-lazy pill
Unironically adderall.

>> No.10124002

>>10120921
>tfw 4 in the morning and have an exam in 4 hours and i'm up shitposting and jerking off
I know that feel. We're not gonna make it.

>> No.10124009

>>10124001
Being ADHD, I've had them for a while, but I always resented the sleepless nights and force feeding. I just need to bite the bullet for once in my life and just take these horrible things more often than I should have.
Used to be on Concerta for most of my life. Same effect as Adderall, but had the added bonus of making you paranoid and anxious. Gonna go look beg for internships, volunteer, do what I can. I don't know how I'll do it, but I need 3 recommendations. The only thing I've ever been interested in is Microbiology. Absolutely love the subject. Always did well in classes like genetics and biochem. I don't even know if I should bother with a masters. Don't know what, but I need something in this deteriorating life.

>> No.10124210
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10124210

Pray and ask the Lord for help. He will direct you. Give yourself up to Christ and you will take the first step in fulfilling your existence and becoming a real human being.

>> No.10124213

>>10123998
As a pharmacist unironically change your major.
No jobs and pharmacy school is a degree mill.

>> No.10124229

>>10124210
Unironically this.

>> No.10124530

>>10123935
i know i just fucked it up really bad. honestly I just don't want to try in class anymore but the line between passing and failing is really thin when you only have like 3 graded things per class

>>10124001
adderall is a panic attack in pill form for me.

>> No.10125555

>>10120985
lift weights and go full /fit/
You'll unironically do better.

I've been in undergrad since 2013 because I have a ultra rare autoimmune disease and am hospitalized every 6 months. I just got a research project in mathematics next semester
Don't be a faggot, finish it.

If you can't do it for yourself do it to prove everyone you that you're not a bum.

Get mad and get good anon.

>> No.10125559

>>10125555
>If you can't do it for yourself, do it to prove everyone AROUND you that you're not a bum.

I can't type lol

>> No.10125638

>>10123519
>>psychology student here
>>stop going to classes, no energy for research, no more will to finish writing the paper
>>75 credits in (15 missing) i just drop school
>Social anxiety is among the easiest curable mental issue. Just consult a psychologist it will help you so much.
this is some ironic stuff...

>> No.10125661

You're not studying how to be a faggot at a university that looks like a major American city are you?

>> No.10125674

>>10125555
>tfw dicklet and it looks like a stub through shorts/sweatpants instead of a regular hanging dick
It's too humiliating.

>> No.10125687

>>10125555
Checked
>If you can't do it for yourself do it to prove everyone you that you're not a bum.
There's nothing to prove anymore. Once you're like 25 you don't have shit to prove. I've failed my youth and anything I do is just a joke now.
College is just this shitshow that never ends and I want out already.
It's time for another four days of doing nothing but projects and homework for no reward except a useless degree that I'm gonna get two years late.

>>10125661
I don't know what that means

>>10125674
I know this is a thread about me fucking up college but >>>/r9k/ is to the right.

>> No.10125710

OP, read the story about the two wolves.

You can prevail.

>> No.10125762

>>10120950
see this is the liberal brainwashing making you feel this way.

You need to FOCUS and start taking easier courses, try changing your major to something easier.

>> No.10125765

>>10123426
It's okay, crying is just weakness leaving the body.

Just don't drop out dude it'll suck paying those loans just take easy classes for a semester and fuck girls with daddy issues in these classes. Also hit the gym HARD and try playing less vidya.

>> No.10125777

>>10120921
This makes me feel a bit better. I have been having problems in college, but now I know I am not alone. Thanks op , you are not the only one.

>> No.10125786

>>10125777
I am you. This is a simulation.

>> No.10125793

>>10120978
Explain in detail m8, I'm about to graduate and go on a 4 year journey of self studying grad level physics and math just so I can be prepared when I come back, explain what you mean by intuition, I want to know when I hit that point on my self study journey.

>> No.10125975

>>10125762
>try changing your major to something easier.
a semester before i graduate?
i honestly feel like i need to either give up completely or do something harder with my life to make up for being so useless

>>10125777
>>10125786
lot of people struggle in college.
i don't know anyone with a gpa between 3.0 and 3.4 besides me. everyone else is 3.5+ or below 3.

>>10125765
>take easy classes for a semester
i only need 1-2 classes to graduate, class gives me anxiety and i'd rather not worry about an easy subject i have zero interest in except for a test
>fuck girls with daddy issues in these classes.
>implying i'm not an autistic douche with no social skills
>implying none of those girls have boyfriends by the end of the second week

>> No.10126157
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10126157

>be autistic
>study 80 hours a week
>class with prof that does flat curve to set top grade to 100
>be "that guy" who answers every question in lecture
>walk out 30 minutes into 2 hour final
>audible groans
get fucked normies, feels good to actually like learning. if you don't finish the textbooks before the semester starts are you even trying?

>> No.10126162

>>10120921
>5 and half years in undergrad and I couldn't make it.
i spent like 7 years and i'm graduating in a semester
granted i got some tuition discounts but
what else do you have to do? you have one life, if you still would rather do it than not, just do it. doesn't matter how long it's taken in the past

>> No.10126166

>>10126162
Same. I'm fucked and graduating late. Might as well take a semester off or study abroad.

>> No.10126309

>>10126157
thanks for btfoing "smart but lazy" faggots
keep being based and taking advantage of your education

>> No.10126312

>spent 4.5 years in community college since I fucked around
>transfer to uni, get a C+ in an upper div, drop 2 upper divs and get an F in an upper div (didn't do final project) that I retook to get an A- in
>get my shit together fall quarter after I self-studied since I was only taking 8 units
>take 20 units since then and get straight As
>3.78ish 4 year gpa, with a 3.9 upper div GPA
>3.48 cumulative, counting community college days

I spent 7.5 years, Anon. If I can do it, you can do it.
Though, I did want to go to grad school. I didn't even bother since that F is an automatic rejection by pretty much every EE program in the top 300.

>> No.10126320

>>10126157
>if you don't finish the textbooks before the semester starts are you even trying?
I unironically did that twice. I thought I had a chance to make it in life, turns out I really don't.
I don't understand how you people do it. I spend more than a few hours a week on class and I fucking snap.

>> No.10126349

>>10120921
lmao 5.5 years of your life making no money and learning nothing. gg man

>> No.10126368

>>10126312
>Though, I did want to go to grad school. I didn't even bother since that F is an automatic rejection by pretty much every EE program in the top 300.
:(
not a bad choice in the long run overall anyway
but if you wanted to, or anyone else wants to, i think it's still possible to get into grad school with a bad app

>> No.10126572

>>10126157
How do you get such discipline?

>> No.10126574

>>10120921
Keep pushing forward

>> No.10126589

>>10126349
I'll never get them back. Any success I'll have in my life will be shadowed by these wasted years.

>>10126574
I'm trying. I fucking hate doing this.

>> No.10126591

>>10126572
You don't really need to study for 80 hours/week. 30 is more than enough.

>> No.10126602

>>10126591
40-50 is enough to guarantee a 4.0 in lower and midlevel courses

>> No.10126676

keep going. take a lighter course load, take a break or whatever but don't just give up now. also don't see a psychologist, they're useless. you can do it

sincerely, another lazy retard barely making it through undergrad

>> No.10126683

>>10120921
See a psychiatrist and start taking meds for anxiety & depression. I was in similar situation and it helped me through college.

>> No.10126691

>>10123690
This this this this this this this this this. I used to have debilitating pure-O OCD and it was eating me apart. CBT saved my life. OP please listen to this poster please I'm begging you to give it a chance.

>> No.10126709

>>10126691
Yeah man, I'm actually recovering from bad OCD right now and it's all because of ERP therapy. The medications are somewhere between placebos and poisons. And the normal "talk" therapy is just nonsense. CBT therapy provided by people who are trained specifically for OCD is the only real solution

>> No.10126775

>>10126157
Im mostly the same
Keep being based fren

>> No.10126814

>>10126157
Where do you find 80 hours a week? Assuming you're not counting your classes

>> No.10126874

>>10120978
>Claims to understand eigenvalues
>But used to have a physical perspective
I don't believe you. Also if you understand math "intuitively" but can't vocalize it, then you don't actually understand.

>> No.10126890

>>10126874
>>But used to have a physical perspective
What's the physical perspective on eigenvalues anyway?

>> No.10126891

>>10120921
Do it nigger

>> No.10126953

>>10126312
>I didn't even bother since that F is an automatic rejection by pretty much every EE program in the top 300
Even with that, you still have the C which is a death sentence as well
thankfully, EE doesn't need a master's

>> No.10126965

KEEP AT IT. You almost made it. Fuck your "mental health". The last bit is hard for everyone. Keep at it and finish.