/sci/ - Science & Math

>>9360896
>bi-polar
I like to think that mental disorders are the brains evolutionary response to handling certain malformations. It's just a theory though.
Like using a penny to complete a circuit. In order to function properly with its particular configuration, it had to develop some kind of release for the...."stuff", I guess.

>>9360896
Your image is interesting, what is the source? Pls respond

>>9360896
this is some very subtle shilling of mental disorders

>>9360902
the only source for the image is /sci/ on the entire internet. But here's the first thread it shows up in.
>>/sci/thread/8747059#p8750920

>>9360901
I was thinking more along the line of handling certain environmental and social problems.
>>9360904
What does that mean?

>>9360896
autistic slime mould?

>>9360953
>be schizophrenic
>be arrested for creating an operating system
Why are schizos such criminals?

>>9360936
Weird. The terms mentioned in the image bring up some interesting things on Google.

https://arxiv.org/pdf/1304.2050.pdf

>>9360896
>since they both lead to genius level intelligence and introversion

Where are you getting that idea from? Schizophrenia for example often results in cognitive impairment and a reduction in intelligence.

https://youtu.be/Ba_f0C3kKjk?t=7m4s

can higher *intelligence* be achieved through training the same way strength can be trained? For example, can training mental imaging help form a weak photographic memory?

>>9360993
I meant that people who are autistic and/or susceptible to schizophrenia are more likely to be genius level intelligence. And cognitive impairment only lasts during psychotic episodes of schizophrenia, and partially because of the lack of motivation and attention span the illness causes.

>>9360996
Yes, but drugs make it easier. Same with steroids developing muscles faster.

>>9360990
Finally, the source. I've been looking for this for 9 months.

>>9360997
Any data to support these claims or are you just talking out of your ass? The video I posted references several papers detecting cognitive decline during the prodromal period (before the first psychotic break) and between episodes.

>>9360943
So...your assertion is that the human body developed a mental disorder to "handle certain environmental and social problems"?

>>9361084
Through evolution, yes. There a few reasons why autism, schizophrenia, or bipolar could help with survival.

>>9361088
In what sense could hallucinating on a regular basis be good for survival?

>>9360896
>they both evolved at the exact same time in human evolution

>>9361091
Hallucinations are different outside the states. Schizophrenia was more of a religious thing, and religions helped civilizations develop. Many of the voices and visual hallucinations are good in religious cultures. Like in Ghana or India, where people hear messages for dead family members and spirits giving them lesson. Developed worlds are more psychological hostile compared to physical. And let's not forget the fact that schizophrenia makes people significantly more aware of their environment and suspicious of everything.

>>9361095
Some time after the neanderthals died out I believe.

>>9361101
You don't have schizophrenia, do you?

>>9361111
I have schizoaffective disorder (mixed type).

I think to a degree they're just normal personality types that are deeply incompatible with the modern world. People used to live in tight knit groups, with a mistrust for strangers who who could well have been out to get them. Well, now everyone's a stranger. What's crazier, living in suspicion of the hundreds of unknown people you might brush shoulders with on a daily basis, or feeling at perfect ease with that situation?

>>9360896
> The similarities between autism and schizophrenia are interesting, since they both lead to genius level intelligence and introversion
> The similarities between autism and schizophrenia are interesting, since they both lead to genius level intelligence and introversion
> The similarities between autism and schizophrenia are interesting, since they both lead to genius level intelligence and introversion

>>9361116
m8 thats not even a real disorder its just a label for psychiatrists

>>9361737
Are you serious? They tricked me into taking anti-psychotics just to make me willing to do nothing for them? It's so goddamn confusing. I'm tired of being lied too. Can you tell me the truth? What's wrong with me? I try to live a normal life but unsympathetic idiots make me suffer intentionally. I may personally enact revenge on these bigots until they suffer more than I ever had. This is unforgivable. I just don't get why people make it so fucking hard to socialize. I just wanted love, and all I got was suffering while they label me for the rest of my life.

>>9361887
They had me on that shit for fucking anxiety. Half of the time I think these people are clueless, and the rest of the time I think they're actively malicious.

>>9361887
Psychiatry is the biggest scam in science.

>>9361901
Seroquel is like a traditional anti-psychotic, in that all it does is make you sleepy as fuck and less paranoid/anxious. Nu anti-psychotics are much worse in that they fuck up your motor skills and movement permanently. Google Extrapyridmal effects, dystonia, and akathisia. All very common in modern anti psychotics. It's better to take MDMA than to take an anti-psych*tic.

Idk I'm a sperg and I have bipolar so you can add that to your list. I also have published math papers and a degree

>>9361936
Show me the papers.

>>9360896
What does cognitive control mean in this context?
Because I have STPD and have an IQ of 153 (according to Mensa) but if it is referring to an erratic thought process, lack of self control or other such mental characteristics, I could certainly see that.

>>9361953
>STPD
Schizotypal am I right?
Low cognitive control = Being a paranoid fuck and making assumptions about literally everything while refusing to accept rationality and logic. Not really by choice, more like the brain sending random signals that make you confused and incapable to learn and perceive normally. Someone with a high cognitive control is able to calm themself down, doesn't lack impulse control, can learn from information presented to them, and doesn't have gaps in logic or memory. Autists have more logical thinking, while schizos are more "creative" or more imaginative is my preferred word. If you've been around schizos, they day dream a lot and live in a fantasy inside and outside their world. Autists have trouble with organic conversation and non-linear tasks. Some people can't help being impulsive or having delusions, so they need proper treatment. Too bad most psychology degrees are brainlets and think "extroversion" is passable to cure severely mentally ill people. I've seen people stay many years in state hospitals and behavioral facilities because even the staff didn't know what to do with them except by forcing meds down their throat. Even psychoanalysis does better now than modern (((psychiatry))), and Freud was a cocaine junkie who wanted to fuck his daughter so badly.

>>9360896
I have Asperger's syndrome (or high-functioning autism, they're basically the same) and exhibit some traits of schizophrenia, of which I also have a family history of both. So yes, I find this thread extremely interesting, just thought I'd offer a bump and some more anecdotal evidence for what it's worth.

>>9361989
Severe autism is very interesting, and so is severe schizophrenia. Here are two videos that show the differences.
Severe autism: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4PTf7LgsIE
Severe schizophrenia: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EqrXjFac75U
You see the similarities between a schizophrenic and autistic meltdown? Granted autism has a larger affect in severe forms. Severe schizophrenia doesn't get past major depression and consistent catatonic states. Autism is more neurological while schizophrenia fucks up all the chemicals and where the pathways go.

>>9362006
Well I mean look at the brains of famously intelligent people who probably had HFA/AS and you see striking structural differences.

>>9360896
>since they both lead to genius level intelligence and introversion.

average iq for both groups is lower than the rest of the population.

>>9362047
>Conflating severe autism with high-functioning autism, the post
I wish people would be more informed.

>>9362047
>average
Exactly nigger. Severe forms of both make people brainlets with low cognitive control. But if you are lucky and roll the dice...GENIUS. Only minor forms of autism and schizophrenia really do it though. You also have savant syndrome and religious nutters who have at least one or two splinter skills. Whether it be arithmetic skills or worshiping strange religions. Severe forms of both, lead to nothing. Very sad to see someone develop a severe disability and never recover from it. I hope there is a god to cure them in the afterlife, but maybe I'm delusional for believing in shit like that. I dunno, I'm the OP.

>>9362064
>high-functioning autism

i'm not sure it actually exists. even if there are high-functioning people with autistic traits, they probably just had enough cognitive reserve to function normally in spite of their disorder.

>>9362084
It does exist. The brain in the middle is "high-functioning autism". It's slightly different, but you can notice the different shape. The one on the right is a violent retard though.

>>9360993
I think he means that moderate levels on the autism spectrum are associated with very good spatial reasoning and mathematical savants and moderate levels of schizotypy are associated with good "verbal" reasoning and creative genius.

>>9362084
>I'm not sure
>they probably
Go and actually research something before speaking about it, seriously.

>>9362093
>Go and actually research something before speaking about it, seriously.

i don't trust the research.

>>9362092
Schizos have okay verbal skills, but will use a lot of esoteric and strong words to make their writing more meaningful.

>"My wisdom so antiquates known knowledge, that a psychiatrist examining my behavior, eccentric by his academic single corner knowledge, knows no course other than to judge me schizoprenic. In today's society of greed, men of word illusion are elected to lead and wise men are condemned. You must establish a Chair of Wisdom to empower Wise Men over the stupid intelligentsia, or perish."
-said by a schizo named Otis Eugene Ray

>>9360958
>arrested for creating an operating system
Who and when?

>>9362094
>I don't trust the research
Brainlet excuses. Research for yourself then. :^)

>>9361903
mostly because neuroscience is still witch-doctor tier and nobody legit knows how the brain works well enough to model chemical interaction to be able to provided targeted treatment. All the medications are just guessing and testing, which is why they all have hilarious amounts of side effects.

>>9362099
I was joking. He was arrested for getting in a fight with his father who he literally believes created the Titan missile for some reason. He is Terry Andrew Davis and created the Temple Operating System, or TempleOS for short. He made it as an online temple to worship the lord and savior, no joke.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TcqWok8AubE
He lost his mind 10 years ago has never gotten better.

>>9362094
>Makes up a bunch of shit he pulled from his arse
>Gets confronted with the reality of research
>I don't trust that!
Typical /pol/ philistine scared of (((them))) yet.

>>9361088
I don't think you get evolution
We don't just develop traits that help us survive certain situations
The traits either already exist or appear in mutations. The traits only become prominent in a population if it's necessary fro survival and those who don't possess the trait die off

>>9362107
>which is why they all have hilarious amounts of side effects
And those side effects can ruin people's lives. I'd rather be a sch*zo than twitch like a motherfucker for the rest of my life.
>>9362111
That's what I was trying to say.

>>9362109
It's a shame, because he was a promising electrical engineer and according to his SAT would've had an IQ of somewhere around 140.

>>9362128
Have you ever written a compiler before you fucking faggot? You must be a CIA nigger.

By the way, he has a board on 8ch he used to post on called /templeOS/. Go there for real laughs.

>>9362109
Sounds interesting
I'll look into it
What is it with all these schizos and talking about god and jesus not stop
There's a lot of examples of it

>>9360896

the relationship between the two intrest me because of personal relevance.
as a kid I was diagnosed with Asperger and ADHD, as an adult depersonalization disorder. Then I became aware of how schizotypal I have always been. I have never had trouble understanding emotions, only displaying them and reacting correctly. I have always had the extreme interest associated with autism, for example I would tend to read animal and plant encyclopedias. When I was 6 I would refer to wildlife by taxonomic terms , and give a detailed description of its life history and ecology. Needless to say I had trouble connecting to other children. But I differ from typical autismo in that my interests were extremely diverse even at an early age and my thoughts were and still are very disorganized.. I was also placed into gifted with a 139 Iq., for reference. I also have the "schizoid withdraw", an out of control fantasy life that started during puberty, narcissistic traits, and have experienced emotional impotence on several occasions, even on one night stands and have rejected attempts at next level intimate relationships by women I liked quite a bit. it all went downhill after I moved out at 18, I smoked weed all day everyday my interpersonal relationships and my connection to myself was severed. then as the result of several month long heavy psychedelic binges and heavy introspection, I became more self aware and more eccentric. my personality changed, and my emotional and self problems are getting better but I still carry a lot of those traits with me. thats my blog, anyways i was just trying to say that i cant figure out if i am on the autism specterm or have ADHD at all or if it was just misread schizotypy all along

>>9362152
Even an atheist schizo will have some religious belief during an episode. Guaranteed 100%. Doesn't have to be christianity. Could even be Paganism or Alchemy. Or something like pantheism or Gnosticism. Hallucinations help with that and the delusions only make it worse.

>>9362167
meant to reply to>>9362154

>>9362136
>By the way, he has a board on 8ch he used to post on called /templeOS/. Go there for real laughs.
Interesting, I'll take a look. Is it still active?

>>9362178
Not really, but the posts are still there.

>>9362111
I dont think you get evolution the Neo-Darwinist dogma they teach you kids in school is out dated and reductive to the point of silliness. ecological interactions and organismal behavior, along with things like plasticity and niche construction. put the behavior of organisms as the primary driver of their own evolution. Natural selection happens as a secondary process, but is still crucial to the evolution of novel variations

>>9362154
I'm honestly jealous. I could never form relationships with women even if I tried. I usually have better luck talking to girls inside mental institutions, but of course no shit goes down there because staff is literally everywhere. I had my first kiss at 13 (she was an uggo 11 year fat black girl but I was desperate for affection), but no luck since. I'm probably fucked unless I find another batshit insane girl. I can't relate to stacies that well and no way in hell will they relate to me. I also stutter a lot. Any tips on how to be charismatic?

>>9362183
There are still predispositions to make people more likely to be schizo or autistic than the general population.

>>9360896
>they both lead to genius level intelligence and introversion
source?
intelligence is NEGATIVELY correlated with schizophrenia according to most sources
https://ajp.psychiatryonline.org/doi/abs/10.1176/appi.ajp.2014.14040516?journalCode=ajp
t. anon who suffers from schizophrenia since 16 and I'm pretty bad to average at math and physics, but I was really good at them before I got it

>>9362192
>going by average intelligence
AHHHHHHHHHH
When I mean "lead" I mean a high overall likelihood than the general population. A schizophrenic or autist is more likely to have 160 IQ than the general population. Especially those who are willing and able to deal with their illness.

>>9362192
>NEGATIVELY correlated with severe schizophrenia
FTFY

>>9362198
No retard, with schizophrenia. Nowhere does this study say severe schizophrenia or that they only take people with severe schizophrenia into count.
>>9362197
Burden of proof is on you.

>>9362207
Honestly, I read it from a paper I read about a year ago. And now I can't find it. Here's this while I go on a hunt:
http://www.hdbp.org/psychiatria_danubina/pdf/dnb_vol22_no4/dnb_vol22_no4_514.pdf

>>9362207
Genius is by definition abnormal.
Geniuses brains that have been dissected show abnormal brain structure.
Autism is by definition abnormal.
Autistic brains that have been dissected show abnormal brain structure.
Geniuses tend to score highly on autistic traits.
Autistic people score highly on autistic traits.
The autistic spectrum is a spectrum that everyone is on, only people with more symptoms are higher up on the spectrum.
If geniuses score highly on the autistic spectrum, it means that are more autistic than the general population, so it shouldn't be too surprising that autism and genius have a link.
However, those who are severely autistic would be non-functioning and those are 'severely normal' would be normal functioning and thus not have a high IQ.
Do I really need to spell it out to you?
>(not >>9362197 btw)

>>9362226
No, all you need to do is provide a proof or at least some evidence for your claims. You can try going with your brainlet pseudologic like this, but this is not a proof nor evidence.

>>9362234
>pseudologic
Logic is either logic, or it isn't logic. You're fucking pseud here trying to act like Mr. Informed.

>>9362242
So your evidence for schizophrenia and ASD being correlated with genius is that both disorders and genius are abnormalities.
Jesus christ.

>>9362226
>>9362242

>>9362247
Lol, you're literally cherry-picking statements from a reply JUST above, that anyone can read easily. If that's all you took away from that, you really need to work on your reading comprehension.
It's funny, at this moment I don't even need to make decent argument, I just need to wait for you to reply as you make yourself look like a retard without any help from me. :'D

>>9362253
Samefagging this hard.

>>9362247
Here's the tip of the iceberg you can slide down:
>https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-human-beast/201705/the-autism-genius-connection
>fyi: It is really easy to use Google.

>>9362259
Before you go:
>BUT DAT JUS AN ARTICLE!
He provides sources. Why re-invent the wheel?

>>9362255
You are free to believe whatever you want, but unless you can provide any evidence for your claims you're basing your opinion on nothing. Now either provide evidence for your claims or perish.
>>9362259
I never said there is no link between ASD and genius. I was discussing schizophrenia since the beginning.

>>9362266
Well, re-read >>9362226 and you'll see that I DO NOT mention schizophrenia. Mhm, best work on that reading comprehension.

>>9362270
Well, re-read >>9362197
>A schizophrenic or autist is more likely to have 160 IQ than the general population
>schizophrenic
Mhm, best work on that reading comprehension.

A good comparison between high-functioning autism and schizophrenia:
https://ac.els-cdn.com/S0887617701001299/1-s2.0-S0887617701001299-main.pdf?_tid=0512ae36-df68-11e7-859f-00000aab0f02&acdnat=1513102532_322c5be2cdfa0ba6df288dfbe2819a25

>>9362274
:'D

>>9362279
Well, you're a living evidence that schizophrenia and high IQ are mutually exclusive.

>>9361887
>Benadryl

>>9362288
Well I thought you were meaning that it was my post, if so then what I was replying to was this part:
>autist is more likely to have 160 IQ than the general population. Especially those who are willing and able to deal with their illness.
Because you replied to it with:
>Burden of proof is on you.
You're the one who conflated it with schizophrenia.
So, if anything you're the fucking brainlet who can't handle more than ONE thread of information. Hilarious.

>>9362297
The claim is:
>autist is more likely to have 160 IQ than the general population
so it is up to you to provide evidence for the whole claim, not the half of it.

>>9362301
>a schizophrenic or autist
* fixed of course

>>9362301
>half of it
What? I'm showing you evidence of HFA/AS and high intelligence, not accurate IQ. I think that it is hyperbolic to state 160, as 160 (truly) is awfully rare. You ARE allowed to concede a standpoint you DIDN'T MAKE to assert something else.

>>9362307
Cool. Now my original point that there is no evidence for schizophrenia being correlated with IQ positively still stands.

>>9362317
Well, I personally don't know anything in that regard and will gladly wait for my colleague to support his standpoint.

>>9360943
>I was thinking more along the line of handling certain environmental and social problems.
I concur, it seems rather logical that like with various traumas PTSD is caused(a long-term mental condition) I think that other variables could also produce different long-term conditions that also affect the psyche. I'm not qualified in social sciences but I think that it makes sense that some individuals can be pre-disposed genetically to react to different environmental stressors at a cost.
>>9361088
>>9361091
While I'm not convinced that mental illness could be seen as leading to increased fitness in terms of natural selection, but there are theories and models that you can search up https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evolutionary_approaches_to_depression
that suggest for example depression may have helped in survival.

Can someone explain the back story of Terry Davis?
How did he get like this?

>>9362392
Psychotic break. That's literally it. It was totally random and permanently fucked him up.

>>9360943
>What does that mean?
It is a /pol/ meme. They idolize nazi nonsense, that means they view people with mental illness as "life unworthy of life", since many of them suffer from one form of mental illness or another, their coping mechanism for the cognitive dissonance that comes supporting a system that does not support them is to say "mental illness doesn't real, it's jewish tricks". And the gravy on top is that they can say "transexuality is a mental illness, therefore it isn't valid or legitimate, therefore anyone that identifies as trans should be ignored or killed"

>>9361718
That switch is EXTREMELY aesthetic. I could flick that switch ALL. DAY. I bet it makes a really nice "click" sound, like a really satisfying 1970s era "this was built to last" click.

>>9362420
This is why I have a mechanical keyboard, switches are hot.

>>9362414
Weird. When you're on /x/, it's the opposite. People will absolutely enable schizophrenia and psychotic disorders while larping as a vampire or an Egyptian god. It's more for the laughs and interesting conspiracy theories imo. At least with /x/ you get interesting content, /pol/ is full of newfags straight from Reddit and Facebook who throw temper tantrums just because you can't say nigger or kike anywhere else on the web and believe the most astounding bullshit. They want Hitler's National Socialism but don't realize that Hitler put mentally ill in concentration camps and trained social awkward and autistic people to become soldiers during the war. I'm more scared about how /pol/ newfags don't have to go through the rite of passage on /b/ like most oldfigs (like me :^) went through.

>>9362431
Gosh, I miss the old days of /b/ too. I was the most cancerous newfag. Now it's just nothing but /soc/ for unoriginal content.

>>9362441
/b/ was never good. It only became worse once Moot added new boards that could fit a specific topic without having to look through porn and roll threads.

>>9362451
>/b/ was never good.
I didn't say it was, I said:
>Gosh, I miss the old days of /b/ too.
They were fun, not intellectually rigorous.

>>9362459
I personally don't miss it. I just think most newfags need /b/ to straighten them out.

>>9362431
I used to like /pol/ for the absurdity. You had these totally untenable opinions / positions but people could reasonably support them through argument by exploiting absurdities or failings in the systems that we currently use, resulting in interesting thought experiments and got you to look at the often ignored problems and flaws as a side effect of looking at their joke trolling stuff.

But not anymore, now it's just the "punchline" without the setup (and failing to realize the punchline was never the point).

>>9362463
Too bad /b/ isn't what /b/ was and there is actually no content left. Just porn.

>>9362467
I would disagree. /b/ still have tangible topics outside of porn. But with like old 4chan, it's usually topics you can't talk about anywhere outside of /b/ because there isn't a specific board for it.

>>9362397
What's stopping any one of us from snapping any second?

>>9362470
Mhm, true. I suppose its useful to have a board like that though as an outlet, rather than it leaking onto tangentially connected boards like neo-/pol/ does.

>>9362476
Literally nothing. Reminder that the average onset age for schizophrenia is 25. Good luck!

>>9362467
This.
I don't even get why people go there to dump porn. There's plenty of other boards to do that on they should just go there. Honestly I think /bant/ is kind of the new /b/.
There's some funny threads on there sometimes and it's not full of porn.

>>9362483
Thank Hiroot for /bant/, it even has /b/ in the name.

>>9362480
Wait what? Please be joking.

>>9362494
>t. genetic predisposition
Me too, anon, me too.

>>9362494
He is joking, it's not "literally nothing" we just don't really know.
Obviously the brain has ways to cope with things it doesn't like, such as laughter or fetishism (the kind when something is so weird and gross and wrong that it somehow gives you a boner, aka SHOULD_NOT_WANT.JPG)

>>9362496
Well kind of.
Dad is a heroin addict who apparently was never sane, even before the addicton and my mom is even worse.
People say that she just "lacked the motherly instinct" (she literally never loved me, walked off when I was born) and the times I've met here since she's pretty schizo.
She talks to somebody who isn't there and is more socially autistic than I am.

How fucked am I?

>>9362520
I thought my family was bad.
>Met dad twice, at 0 and 7, then he died when I was 19
>Mom is proper Aspie and non-functional, put me in care at 8 because my grandparents died and she couldn't look after me
But you... holy shit. If I'm in trouble, you're fucked.

>>9362526
Why is 4chan the only place where I don't feel alone. Honestly we've both had it pretty shit anon, but it's nice knowing we're not the only ones.
How are you holding up?

>>9362538
Okay I guess, I just keep sabotaging myself.
Throughout middle and high school I just fucked around, did so throughout senior high too. Graduated with mediocre grades. At 18 get diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, they also test my IQ at gifted to near genius, not that it matters, I'm a fucking waste. Study mathematics and physics in my spare time, which is all of my time, because I live on NEET bucks. Get a few chances here and there since graduation to finally get to college, end up with 2 children by the time I'm 22. Still want to go to an Ivy League and spend my entire time Grothendieck style studying 8 hours a day. Starting to get kinda of depressed because I'm too poor to go anywhere in life. IQ is fucking overrated.
How about you, anon?

>>9362572
not that anon but, two kids at 22 damn

>>9362572
Kind of similar
I was a literal prodigy up until I was about 12 years old and my dad relapsed and got into a messy marriage.
I was sent to live with my relatives in Ireland (I'm from Boston) and that year fucked me permanently. Fried my brain on a summer of crying and playing minecraft.
Went back to America and just became a big pothead in high school
Dad's addiction picked up again so I went back in Ireland where I repeated sophomore year (GPA in USA was 1.59 I literally never even went in).
Got a fresh start turned my shit around and now I'm on the path to ideally Oxford/LSE but most likely Trinity College Dublin.

What's it like having 2 kids and being a NEET? Do you live with them?

>>9362580
I know man, thanks for the feels.

>>9362589
>Got a fresh start turned my shit around and now I'm on the path to ideally Oxford/LSE but most likely Trinity College Dublin.
How did you do it, anon?
>I was a literal prodigy up until I was about 12 years old and my dad relapsed and got into a messy marriage.
Same, my verbal IQ as a child was academic.
>I was sent to live with my relatives in Ireland (I'm from Boston) and that year fucked me permanently.
I was just moved around the country constantly, from school to school. I used to get into a lot of Aspie rage fights over people bullying me about my grandfather dying.
>Fried my brain on a summer of crying and playing minecraft.
Mine was a mixture of crying and fighting.
>Went back to America and just became a big pothead in high school
I just became a porno and Warcraft addict, fapped away the better part of a decade.
>Dad's addiction picked up again so I went back in Ireland where I repeated sophomore year (GPA in USA was 1.59 I literally never even went in).
Just fighting and being a general idiot. I spent almost every day in detention or internal and external suspension.
>What's it like having 2 kids and being a NEET? Do you live with them?
Not too bad, people just make poor economic choices and complain about them. We manage to cope, economically. As for relationship, as to be expected.

>>9360997
None of what you said is true.

>>9362608
>How did you do it anon?
Now that my parents are completely removed from my life, my grandmother just lets me be.
I started lurking /fit/ and /pol/ and they were big on all that self improvement stuff.
Started reading again and learning math from Khan Academy, it was like exercising my brain for the first time in years.
And I too moved around a lot, my dad could barely hold an apartment for a year. While we stayed mostly in the Boston area I did end up in NYC once.
How are the kids though, do you think they'll turn out alright?

>>9362624
>I started lurking /fit/ and /pol/ and they were big on all that self improvement stuff.
Me too, I just stopped recently due to depression.I guess I just need to push through the apathy and stop being a pussy. Thank you for the motivation, anon.
>Started reading again and learning math from Khan Academy, it was like exercising my brain for the first time in years.
I already do a lot of this, I just don't take care of myself like you do.
>How are the kids though, do you think they'll turn out alright?
Yeah, they'll be fine, I just try and limit my interaction with them too much as I don't want them to turn out like me. Thankfully, their mother is a good hearted normie and she has a lot immediate and extended family around, so there's always an eye-out. My family are mostly a bunch of autists.

>>9362632
Just don't be too absent. No offense but try to not be a NEET and be a better example for them.

>>9362647
>Just don't be too absent.
I'll try, anon, I'll try.
>No offense
None taken, we're brothers in arms.
>No offense but try to not be a NEET and be a better example for them.
My goal in life is to be a professor of either mathematics, or physics. I did think about engineering, but it isn't rigorous enough, though it is interesting and profitable.

>>9362660
What do you use to learn?
Khan Academy, coursera?

>>9362662
The /sci/ Wikia reading list.

>>9362666
I actually haven't looked at that yet, though I probably should.
I'm so overwhelmed with actual school work that trying to learn stuff in my own time is becoming near impossible

>>9362693
Luckily I have the luxury of time. I just hope I get to use the knowledge, rather than waste it.

>>9362699
Haha and you just got dubs and trips back to back
Honestly though it would be a shame if you learned all this stuff and just let it go to waste.
I know you want to go into academia but have you thought about picking up maybe a part time job/trade where you could just keep yourself busy?

>>9362714
>Haha and you just got dubs and trips back to back
Didn't even notice. I guess all that bad luck finally paid off?
>Honestly though it would be a shame if you learned all this stuff and just let it go to waste.
Agreed, it would.
>I know you want to go into academia but have you thought about picking up maybe a part time job/trade where you could just keep yourself busy?
I've thought about becoming a freelance programmer.

>>9362724
I don't know shit about computers and I wish I did. I know a little Java but not a thing about hardware or how any of this works. I know I sound like a complete fucking normie but how do I actually learn about computers as a whole?

>>9362732
>I know I sound like a complete fucking normie but how do I actually learn about computers as a whole?
Aside from what I already knew by being a millennial, I learnt the majority of my CS and programming my based /sci/:
>http://4chan-science.wikia.com/wiki/Computer_Science_and_Engineering
>http://4chan-science.wikia.com/wiki/Programming_Textbook_Recommendations
The /g/ Wikia is good for general knowledge and tech advice too, along with more tech-orientated programming resources, when its up. They also have this:
>https://g.sicp.me/books/
As for programming, I'd say start with C and work your way into C++ and with scripting, Python and Perl are good.

>>9362743
Hey thanks anon. I appreciate boards like this where it's not too loud and you can actually have a discussion.
>/fit/
Bad advice and non stop insults
>/pol/
Shitshow
>/biz/
People shilling their shitty cryptos

>>9362293
it's a wonderful sleep aid hence it says to take it at night

also anecdotally (no studies) increases orgasm pleasure (does in me too)

>>9362762
Yeah, /sci/ is pretty /comfy/, more so than /g/, which is mostly a /v/ crossbreed now.

>>9362589
>>9362572
I like you guys and relate a lot to your stories :)
I was raised by a single mother since I was 3 because my dad was physically abusive towards us and I haven't seen him since. I always had a passion for maths and got moved up a year in school because of my ability. Fast forward a few years, my mum is suicidal and I constantly have to talk her down, extreme social anxiety starts kicking in and I lost all of my existing friends. Not long after, my younger sister starts assaulting me in every way possible for no real reason. If I hit her she would scream for everyone to hear and everyone would believe her when she said she didn't do anything.
In high school I spent most of my time daydreaming in class and never did any work. Round about the same time I started drawing writing and making music in my bedroom when possible.
A girl liked me and I really liked her but I couldn't think of how to take the opportunity and missed my chance.
I started a Mathematics course at uni but quickly realised that I wasn't going to learn anything I didn't already know and dropped out after a few weeks. I've never had a job and I've never physically touched a girl I'm not related to. My only friend is the guy who sells me weed and cocaine.
I've always been good at visualising things. I have something of a persistent dream world that I think about a lot where everything is run down and overgrown and everyone really likes me.

>>9362845
Cut out the drugs anon. That should be your first step so self improvement.
I know your situation is tough but trust me, weed and coke aren't helping one bit

>>9362845
You know, /sci/ needs a support group for down on luck STEM academics, guys.

>>9362845
>I have something of a persistent dream world that I think about a lot where everything is run down and overgrown and everyone really likes me.
kek

>>9362873
Did you read
>>9362520
>>9362526
>>9362572
>>9362589

>>9362882
Yes?

>>9362880
>I have something of a persistent dream world that I think about a lot where everything is run down and overgrown and everyone really likes me
I wouldn't be surprised if some neighborhoods in Portland are really like that. Dirty liberal hippies sure love fornicating ain't that right.

>>9362886
I was just wondering because those were even further evidence for the need of a /sci/ support group

>>9362903
Agreed, there seems to be a trend with intellect and having a shitty formative life.

>>9362880
It's very nice

>>9362863
I'm probably going to have to soon because I'm not getting welfare anymore and I don't have enough money saved to sustain it.

>>9362910
Don't become homeless, bro.

OP here. I really wish there was a cure to some of the shit I have.
I've been diagnosed with adhd, autism, schizophrenia, bipolar, anxiety, ptsd, intermittent explosive disorder, disruptive mood disregulative disorder, and all the weight of so many mental disorder combined makes me ultimately suffer. I ask for friendship and I get pushed away by many people. Suicide is humanity's greatest AND darkness invention. Humans are the only species to intentionally commit suicide if life ills them. Maybe we are special in that way, or it's a way to cut of our inferior genetics. It's especially hardening if you live in the south like I do, where people are more strict when there's little work incentive in this poor region. My mind has been corrupted by the darkness of this world. I only wish my soul to be saved. But if in this case the soul doesn't exist, I must make a sacrifice. I will drag my torn body through the deepest caverns full of sharp knives to reach enlightenment, and hopefully spread that knowledge to many people who pass by me. I have trouble communicating and articulating emotions. And when I cry, people don't know why I cry. People think I'm attention-seeking, when I am a child of neglect and abuse. I just wanted the love and compassion that echoes by our superiors. But they have tempted us by lies and deceit. The main evil in this world is not the light, or the love, it's the opposite of truth and empathy. We could all be lead into slavery. But when the human is submissive enough to accept their slavery, it is because they were promised the end of their pain and torture that is inevitable. The human race is superior in many ways. Our ego is what causes us to innovate to prove our superiority and achievements. But when we harm others because of our greed, avarice, and lust, it is inevitable that we perish unless we change our ways. I don't care if I'm autistic. I don't care if I'm psychotic. I just want a future that is bright to give what was taken from me.

>>9362928
If worst comes to worst and I can't get a job or my welfare renewed in time to pay the bills, I could probably convince my uncle to let me live in his RV in the short term. Failing that, I might run off and join a commune or something. Idk.

>>9362969
>>9362928
I appreciate your concern though

>>9362963
See, this is the problem with autism, the constant internal dialogue.
You need something to switch off, something to focus on unerringly, like academia.

>>9362969
So long as you've food, shelter and access to knowledge, you'll be fine.

>>9362977
We've got to stick together.

>>9361101
I agree with your post that a major problem that really needs to get delt with first is our imressions and perceptions of serious mental illness.
How drug induced psychosis may belie a bunch of diagnosis of schizophenoform disorders.
Or possibly other organic conditions like a brain tumor that some hospitals or doctor think are unnessicary.
Possibly diet too.
A person with schizophrenia is more apt to be abused explioted or taken advantage of that any normal person. And that schizophrenia with paranoid features causes outbusts and lashing out becuase they are scared and afriad.

Anti-psychotics are a loosing game in the end though wjich is sad.

>>9362981
I do focus in many things. You made assumption without knowing anything about me and how I think. You really think I have a problem with thinking? What if I smarter than you? I dunno, I may be more talented in you in something. How would you feel about me being superior? Does that frighten you? What will make me think of a fellow human being like you to be any different than the worth of a cow in a slaughterhouse? Are you really worth my time and patience? Prove it. Appeal to emotion is bogus idiocy. Your time will come, and so will mine. See you in hell.
The only internal dialogue here is the echoing of your words inside your easily manipulated head. Words are becoming stronger than actions now. What if by the utter of my voice and the sound of my awakening can I bring the light into the darkened forces of the disgusting human race. Your race is like troubling example of what went wrong with evolution. The disease, the corrupting, the ignorance, the deviancy, the temptation, it all actually means nothing and you chose to think that way because you are an overly-empathetic creature that lacks morals and righteousness. It will be my burden to civilize the next generation, mark my words. And if I'm wrong? Then I was really insane in the end. It would be my apology to say this now. Just want you to know, you are not alone even at this moment. Even within the vicinity of picometers are many consciousnesses in synonymity working for and against each other. Only through conflict do we evolve.

>>9362981
>constant internal dialogue
I'm not officially autistic but nobody has ever put this into words before
It fucking tortures me but I wouldn't want to live without it

>>9363004
I think this might be the type of you want to seek:
>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect
Also, nice cliché cringe misanthropic nihilism, you're are wise. :^)

>>9363013
Well, at least someone understands where I'm coming from and isn't a total douchebag.

>>9363004
Bonus points, you're really shitty at writing:
>a fellow human being
>Your race
Fucking hilarious.

>>9363017
My entire personality is a cliche? Fucking hell. I really am fucking useless. Everything I say must be bad and I make people around me live like hell unintentionally. There really is no fucking end to this. There is no end to the enabling of death and destruction among the weak. My words only bring laughter as I'm truly as humiliating as they come. I don't try to do this day. I call for help and lash out but I'm still ignored to this day. We could be reasonable here, but how do I know you are being truthful with me? How fucking specific do I have to speak for you to understand that this is not a joke to me and I really am in pain? I will persist until someone listens to me. If you will not listen to me, then I'm trapped in a cave where the echos of my speech are trapped in the boundaries of the stone walls.
Also
>dunning-kruger effect
Nice pseudoscience parroted as fact for the laymen to gobble it up like a free ticket to false intellectual achievement. Using a 2 dimensional graph with a line to describe a chaotic social phenomenon while psychology is still stuck in the stone age.
>>9363031
Glad I can make someone laugh unintentionally! Maybe you are happier than I am sad, so that means the average happiness in the world goes up? idk.
>you're really shit at writing
I'm not into literature. I talk almost exactly how I type. It may be cringe but there is really no other choice when you have communication skills that bottom to near zero and become stressed out at forming relationships with people.

>>9363044
I don't think you get it, you're unoriginal. I've heard normies talk about thinking like this, when you finally get them to talk, you're not special. You're just a massive cliché and it is utterly hysterical.
Honestly, you just sound like a psychotic version of the edgy kids who hang out in the high school basement, or whatever similar metaphor applies.
Get a fucking grip you joke.

>>9363044
>stone walls.
>stone age.
Talk about an idiolect, this is just an IDIOTlect.

>>9363044
Curious, is your name Simon Cosgrove?

>>9363049
I rarely go out and talk to anyone. So it's merely a coincidence. I am severely depressed right now so I can't think of any other way to type on an anonymous imageboard. Sorry if that bugs you but there is a solution if you give it to me.
>>9363051
>idolect
Nice new meme.
>>9363055
No. Michael Robinson.

>>9363063
>idolect is a meme
It's how individuals talk, their linguistic fingerprint. So it seems, the only meme here is that you think you're intelligent.

>>9363063
Nice, I'm Peter Fonda.

>>9363079
I don't claim to be pseudo-intellectual. I'm not trying to be hostile but you are enabling this sort of behavior.
And nice to meet you by the way.

>>9363084
>I'm not trying to be hostile but you are enabling this sort of behavior.
Wait, so you can detect nuance? Are you sure you're autistic?
Anyway, that's enough of trolling you:
-----------------------END_LINE-------------------------------
>And nice to meet you by the way.
And you.

>>9363093
>Wait, so you can detect nuance?
Yes, because I'm not dumb. Would I really be crippled enough to be socially retarded? I still have ego even if I'm suicidal. I can discern cruel intent in the corner of my eye.
I really am typing how the words come to my mind. It's like my brain is flowing with this shit. My father wrote a book you know. I've never really cared about writing but it's becoming a more useful skill as time goes on.
>>9363026
I really didn't know what you meant because I do hear people talking inside my head, and it's mainly negative and hateful messages. I don't know how to switch it off by will and it becomes surprising, annoying, aggravated, and eventually fucking scary when it hasn't stopped once in the past 72 hours. Be glad you are not in a situation like this.

Damn, thats the second time I'm writing this text.
Well, I'm a 18 years old girl diagnosed with TPB (Borderline) and I'm here to ask your opinion about the TPB disorder in this case, in case if it's related, like the others disorders.
TPB sucks, there's just time I just want to jump out of a bridge without no explication, no reason, just jump.
I'm dealing with this for 7 years now, and this past few years has been just HELL.
Besides the TPB, I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Always took meds. Still take them, by the way.
Never had too much friends, and I think for always being alone, I spent A LOT of time studying. Maybe it happens with people with the others disorders too?
Today my chemistry and biology teachers thinks that in a high level in college.
That's not the point.
This disorder is just everything I cant understand about myself.
I don't who I am.
I'm always changing. I'm always getting tired of something.
I have like a OCD in hurting myself, and for me that's normal.
I'm watching a movie and then suddenly I'm ripping my nail off by hand. And for me thats OK.
This hurts.
I wish the thing that drove me to this had never happened.
Well, thank you for listening.
Hope someone answers me.
- B

>>9363157
bost tiddy

>>9363162
what? .-.

>>9363157
You have an anxiety disorder definitely, possibly mood.
please be my gf

>>9363171
AW, ok, now we're dating. ˆ~ˆ

>>9363169
bost id
blease

>>9363126
>Yes, because I'm not dumb.
Sure, sure.
>Would I really be crippled enough to be socially retarded?
Some are.
>I still have ego even if I'm suicidal.
That sounds like an interrogative.
>I can discern cruel intent in the corner of my eye.
Trust me, you haven't borne witness to my cruelty.
>I really am typing how the words come to my mind.
Good, that's perfect for a dialectic.
>It's like my brain is flowing with this shit.
Unnecessary verbiage; strip it.
>My father wrote a book you know.
So did my grandmother, she was a professor of classics.
>I've never really cared about writing but it's becoming a more useful skill as time goes on.
Surely, for communication.
>I really didn't know what you meant because I do hear people talking inside my head
Me too, though it's mostly I, me and myself.
>And it's mainly negative and hateful messages.
Just consider the antithesis of their content, that's your subjective truth.
>I don't know how to switch it off by will and it becomes surprising, annoying, aggravated, and eventually fucking scary when it hasn't stopped once in the past 72 hours.
Just like the almost constant sensory input and general hyperanalyzation that plagues the autistic mind. Noisy.
>Be glad you are not in a situation like this.
What is it you said?
>You made assumption without knowing anything about me and how I think.
Hypocritical.

>>9363171
hey, lets talk, dont u forget about me :(

>>9363157
What is the causation, for you?

>>9363188
sexual abuse in my old school.

>>9363193
Okay, go deeper. How did that make you feel?

>>9363197
That was the worst day of my life. For real.
I just remember to scream and don't hear my voice.
I came home, and went to shower.
I just stood under the water for an hour till I heard my mom screaming the I was wasting water.
I felt like crap you know? Guilty. Like, why the hell was I in the second floor that specific time? Why that fucking day I went to talk with my english teacher? I couldn't see myself in the mirror for next few weeks. And then the depression started, the mutilation started and bla bla bla, my life was always messed up cause I already had no friends, and then this happens, yeah, shit.
I just had courage enough to tell someone what happened to me this year. It always was a secret.
And I still feel guilty.
Still feel like crap, violated.
I don't know, is just too messed up.

>>9363207
Powerless?

>>9363210
Yeah.
no strength to do something

>>9362480
>tfw I'm 25

>>9363217
I thought so.
I put it to you, B, that you not only self-harm and study in such a scrupulous manner because you seek control over yourself, an affirmation of agency.
For instance, with the self-harming, that YOU can harm yourself and make YOURSELF feel pain.
With studying, is that that want to control something, the input of knowledge and also as a coping strategy to take your mind away from the incident and the corresponding anguish.

Mental illness is trashy. It comes with and from being born low. Imagine being stuck in a burning building. Bet you'd be pretty unhappy. Bet you'd try a thousand different things to make living better. Maybe try out some anxiety, depression, narcissism, add.. Yet nothing is going to fix the fucking fire.

Schizophrenia works. You just go crazy and totally forget about the fire. That shit can be really hard to come back from. When people are trying to get you to see the fire and it's just too unbearable. However if the fire does go away the schizophrenia will too. Only problem is it's hard to fix the fire when you refuse to accept its existence.

Out of all the mental illnesses schizophrenia and mania are my favorite. But personally I'm just bearing the suffering in all its reality, being a miserable fuck most of the time unless I'm around females or other guys who like to act stupid. Slowly trying to crawl my way out of hell into the heavenly bliss of being part of the 1%. Everything is a waste of time but being rich would definitely give me more choices to waste my time

>>9363207
I've gone though something similar, but not sexual abuse. I've been tied down to a bed before unable to move anything except my eyes. I was holstered so tight that I could barely breath. I was begging for them to let me go. It makes it worse that there was haloperidol in my system so I was twitchy as fuck and needed to move to calm down. It was at a mental hospital but not school. But I was tied down to a fucking bed with a straight jacket and handcuffs for 3 hours straight. My heart was racing at 200 bpm the entire time with multiple shots of haloperidol and ativan in my system while I was having persistent hallucinations and thoughts of suicide. All while the staff is laughing at me and calling me a retard. Psychiatrist institutions are fucking torture chambers.

>>9363225
Thank you for understanding me.
When I'm not studying I'm playing videogames or reading cause thats other way to keep my mind away like you said.
Thank you, League of Legends. :p

>>9363236
>Thank you, League of Legends. :p
>When I'm not studying I'm playing videogames or reading cause thats other way to keep my mind away like you said.
I was going to say, you need an outlet for the control and a focus for the pain.
Martial arts normally helps to empower, with the bonus of discipline and self-defense.
>Thank you for understanding me.
That's okay.
If you ever want to chat:
>mechatronics_maestro@mail.com
Please provide proof that it's you, but I'm not going to ask for PGP, because that's too formal.

>>9363235
This year I went to a Psychiatrist institution. I attempted suicide, and a really bad one.
I swallowed all of the medicines I found at home.
They tied me at my bed too in the hospital, but then let me free few hours later. I can't even imagine what you've been through.
But I know this places sucks, they gave me too much medicine I think I didn't need.
I remember just sleeping TOO MUCH.
Well, glad we are here now.

>>9363244
sent u something.

>>9363272
It's nice to meet you. :)

>>9363226
>Out of all the mental illnesses schizophrenia and mania are my favorite
And are also the most dangerous mental illnesses in the world. You like to live dangerously I see.

>>9360896
For anyone that believes in the "current state of art mental health treatment", keep in mind that not that long ago "the current state of the art mental health treatment" involved using a large drill to remove a significant chunk of your brain.

It was called a lobotomy.

>>9362192
You should consider suing.

Before you got "schizophrenia", you hadn't taken any of their drugs.

You were chemically lobotomized, and became unable to use any of your higher brain functions.

>>9363547
And psychiatry condoned shit like that because $$$

>>9363550
Suing for what? Are you delusional? Even if that's true, I don't think you know a single thing about law.

Wait a minute that voice...

>>9364667
[CITATION NEEDED]
>this_triggers_the_brainlet.jpg

>>9364788
>being so autistic you need a citation for how you speak

>>9364790
Well considering something like that would require a comprehensive linguistic study to actually confirm that it is common amongst autistic populations and that its cause is autism. So yes, brainlet, it DOES require citation.
Unless, of course, this isn't your native board and you should hurry along home:
>>>/pol/

>>9364798
>Well considering something like that would require a comprehensive linguistic study to actually confirm that it is common amongst autistic populations and that its cause is autism
...or maybe you could speak to an autist sometime. We don't need to reinvent the wheel because you don't trust an anecdote. And let me mention that you can find facts for similar speech patters on Wikipedia. Or maybe, just maybe, you are the autist.

>>9364809
>trust an anecdote
>an anecdote is now evidence
Lol, just go home little brain:
>>>/pol/

>>9364815
>asks for a citation on a meme image
>expects for that to be readily available like Siri™
I'm not your personal library, google it if you want to confirm it.

>>9364853
I shouldn't have to though, you fucking sophist. If you assert something, even a meme, if it is meant with INTENT, as it was, then the burden of proof is on you. However, because I'm not a retard like you, I did do some research and most of the meme is true, why couldn't you have done that? Literally 1 second on Google, fucking lazy brainlets.

>>9363013
>>9363004


frequent internal dialog is a good sign that you're not a mindless reflex automaton. probably not a bad thing despite its annoyance and persistence.

>>9364901
>However, because I'm not a retard like you, I did do some research and most of the meme is true, why couldn't you have done that?
Because that's your choice and not mine?

>>9364667
See, this is why I don't talk to people or really go outside at all. You try to be a good person, and people hate you immediately because your tone of voice is slightly off, or you stand a bit funny. What chance does that give me?
>inb4 lol triggered
Yeah, kind of. This shit literally ruined my life.

i don't understand, is this saying that creativity and mathematical abilities aren't related?

>>9364667
this is exactly me, but it made me laugh

>>9361887
>>9361903
you realize these diagnosis are made for insurance purposes?

>>9362783
If you don't mind long term brain damage, then yeah sure.

>>9362783
If you don't mind long term brain damage, then yeah sure.

>>9361887
>intermittent explosive disorder
>he talked back to the nurses

>>9365015
I feel ya

>>9365289
So where's my free money?
Please expand.

>>9360896
I guess you have to have mentally ill people in order for a society to be prepared for the mentally ill

>>9366849
>I guess you have to have mentally ill people in in power in order for a society to be prepared for the sane
FTFY