/sci/ - Science & Math

ass cream + stop eating shit food + eat ground flax seed + take warm water baths

no sodomy

drink more water
apply ice
don't sit so much if possible

The surgery is relatively simple, if you have steady hands, buy a sex swing and a full length mirror and go for it, just cut that fucker open, scoop out the clot and suture it shut.

>>8096803
I got a hemorrhoid once, didn't feel a thing. To be honest I didn't even know what a hemorrhoid was until it happened to me
>sitting on the toilet on the phone after a good shit in the middle of the night
>hear a loud dripping sound
>assume there's something wrong with the toilet
>wipe
>all blood
>*heavy breathing*
>look under
>literally a stream of blood coming out of my ass
>toilet looks like someone slaughtered a pig in it
>shitshitshit
>wipe the rest of the blood and run to the computer
>google "shitting blood"
>"prostate cancer"
>fuckfuckfuck
>I'm not ready to die
>pace back and forth evaluating my options
>after about 10 minutes of near crying I decide I don't really want to live anyways and I'm going to reject chemo and die with dignity
>but wait, let's google some more
>red blood means it's just a hemorrhoid
And that's the story of how I learned what a hemorrhoid is

Fiber, fiber, more fiber. Also preparation H or whatever to lube up your ass hole so your shits dont irritate the the roid.

Really all you can do is wait it out until it resorbs.

I remember I had a super bad one that thrombosed and I bleed like crazy then for about a week my asshole was leaking mucus because it was irritated and exceptionally painful.

>>8097684
I did this when I was 20
that was a long night
many years ago

>>8097713
You're a big guy

warm bath with epsom salt helps in the short term.

Everything you'r reading here is right, hydrate and gets lots of fiber.

>>8098288
for you

why do people keep saying "warm bath"?
if anything, that shit would make the hemorroid bigger by increasing your blood pressure.
Am I missing something?

>>8096826
which food is good for taking an enjoyable shit?

>>8097684
For me, the actual answer turned out to be "Ate way too many red velvet cookies in one sitting."

>>8098303
Wouldn't a warm bath lower blood pressure from vasodilation in the skin?

>>8099371
I can 100% say this is not true. I can't stay in a hot shower for too long specifically because it feels like my artheries will blow up and my heart starts pounding a lot more.

>>8097684
>And that's the story of how
Yes, nothing wakes you up so thoroughly as a shock like this.

>>8099353
>enjoyable
Prunes. Lots of prunes.
If you go all the way in your, errr, enjoyment, please remember to bring a large bottle of water and some salt. You are about to spend some quality time.

>>8098297
>warm bath with epsom
W-what? As in rectal injection of epsom? I juts got some images in my mind I would really like to get rid of thank you very much.

>asspain
>fuckin hemorrhoid
>excrutiating pain at all times
>oh god its like the size of a grape
>feels rock hard
>not inside the butthole though, kinda next to it, weird
>every shit is torture
>cleaning my ass is torture
>had enough one day
>take long hot shower
>get a good grip on it
>dig my nails in and rip
>literally black out from pain for a second
>wake up still settling to the floor of the shower
>look at my hand
>the fuck it looks like nasty bloody pus
>ass stings but feels so much better
>shower is a slaughterhouse, but there's a gooey trail of nasty pus still washing down
>carefully explore anus
>gaping hole next to O-ring
>nearly get a finger in it, hurts so bad
>not really bleeding much any more
>clean up, go to bed with dry washcloth between cheeks
>next morning
>washcloth kinda bloody, some crusty yellow fluid
>eating breakfast
>hold back a fart
>it squeezes out anyway
>kinda hurts and feels really, really wrong
>oh jesus
>it wasn't a hemorrhoid
And that's how I got an anal fistula

>>8099704
Actual cringe: the post.

>>8099353
Fiber the shit out of your diet. You'll be defecating like a champion.

>>8099704
Awful, but the relief was palpable. You are a talented writer, anon.

>>8096803
Go to see the doctor
I had once cuz constipation, fixed that and now I am fine, took days too
pomade might work

>>8099704
wew

>>8099704

so you popped a rectal abscess nice

>>8099720
>tfw for some reason fiber and starch gives you massive cramps
I've went to a few doctors and no one could explain this to me.