/sci/ - Science & Math

>>7509896
Nah, dolphins are pussies. I once punched one when I was on holiday, little bitch swam away clicking at me.

>humans: 1
>Dolphins: Who gives a fuck, dolphins are the gayest fish.

>>7509896
Why not coexistence? Think of the porn.

>>7509903
It was probably a girl. Dick.

>>7509896
No.

>>7509896
Bush would have most certainly nuked them from orbit so no.

>>7509896
>if dolphins weren't dolphins, would...
what if bears had wings, giant flamethrowers inside their mouths and detonate when they die to generate a 250MT nuclear explosion ?

>>7509970
you can't generate a nuclear reaction from organic molecules, lets keep this realistic please

>>7509970

>>7509896
Pretty clearly. Carl Sagan mentions it in an article about ice on Mars. He says it so offhandedly, it's kind of eerie.

>>7509970

All praise our bear overlords.

>>7509896
>what if dolphins were humans

>>7509896
If dolphins, and other cetaceans, lived on land they would likely be about as smart as their closest relatives, deer.

So, no.

>>7510380
>cetaceans
>dear
Smdh fam tbh

>>7509903
Top pep

The short answer is: yes. Or "yes" with two qualifications.

>>7509896
If dolphins did evolve to live on land, what would they look like?

>>7510464
Fuckin dolphins w hands and feet.

>>7509970
Does this kind of joke go over well?

>>7510464
I think they used to be some kind of dog/wolf thing before going to the water so they'll look like some kind of dog/wolf I guess

Possibly, they would also need a reproductive life cycle that allows for transmission of knowledge across generations, that's key.

Other requirements for civilization, large brains, vocal chords/language, thumbs, and a propensity to form groups, all of which in those circumstances they already have.

>>7509911
>Think of the porn.

>>7510746

If these guys ever start living for more than 2-3 years we're all in trouble.

>>7510490
I'm not sure... It wasn't a joke when I typed it, more of a sarcasm really.

>>7510746
>>7510747
>cucked by a dolphin

>the testicles of the male dolphins are buried in the body

>>7510930
Too bad big brains are useless if your flippers cannot even hold tools.

>>7510975
a whale shark has the brain the size of a school bus but its no smarter than me tbh

>>7510976
How do you know? Did you ask? For all we know they figured out string theory and they communicate entire books of theoretical physics though their songs.

>>7510976
yeah but:
1. what's the body size to brain size ratio
2. how big are the actual neurons (elephant brains are huge but so are there neurons so the overall count isn't very high)

Do you think dolphins can communicate with ayylien life? And possibly warn us if our planet is going to be destroyed.

>>7510155
Dubs confirm Carl Sagan as an undercover dolphin

>>7511187
Yes. But they won't, 'cuz they're dicks.

>>7510500
I sense that yr as stupid as you stupid

humans:
>spend all their free time working
>every adult is either stressed/overworked/depressed/sad/bored/unhealthy or some combination of the above
>kill each other in pointless wars

dolphins
>spend all day chilling in the ocean and raping with no worries
>only responsibility is needing to remember to breathe

I wonder who is the smarter species?

>>7510976
But the whale shark is the size of a small bus...

>>7509903
> dolphin
> fish

I had a history teacher in 8th grade who told me the US Navy put .50 cal machine guns on dolphins heads for amphibious warfare back in 2003

>>7511678
>>7510985
>>7510981
>>7510976
Yeah well they dont even have jobs and swim all day and have sexytime, bang bang, wink wink, all the time. Plus they fight giant seamonsters and Japs and dont even go on 4chan. Like wha?

>>7510908
>doesn't know what cuck means
>uses it anyways

>>7511678
this is brilliant

>people ITT suggesting physical brain size has any correlation to intelligence

Looks like you guys skipped Bill Nye's Brain episode as children.

Also no, we would absolutely fuck up dolphins.

>>7511747
>the science guy
>children's show
>mass media
They have hands and feet. No jobs. Gray skin. Shiny. Wet. A blowhole. Lil teeths. Fins. Big brains. Penises and vaginas. Have hands. Great at diplomacy. People already love dolphins. You are very dumb idiotboy.

>>7509970
Fuck. I laughed hard.

dolphins are dumb pieces of shit lmao you're talking about what would happen if they attack humans? chimps are way smarter than dolphins, that's why planet of the apes is a movie and sounds terrifying, whereas planet of the dolphins sounds like some boring zoo exhibit. dolphins are stupid creatures wiggling around and you're talking about how they're smarter than humans yeah smarter than you maybe

>For the first time, we show that a species of dolphin has more neocortical neurons than any mammal studied to date including humans.

Dolphins are the dominant species of the ocean, which represents 75% of the earth's surface.

Humans BTFO

>>7512366
O. Uh oh.

>>7509896
No, they'd just be another nigger race of annoying rapists.

>>7512366
>Orcas are the dominant species of the ocean
ftfy
In all seriousness, orcas are cool as fuck. And they're bro-tier as fuck too. If they lived on land with us and the Japs didn't exist we would get along fine. Plus they can fuck any dolphin's shit up anyday.

forgot my cool orca pic

>>7512935
They also fight pirates.

>>7509903
dolphins are mammals u wally

Nay my friend If dolphins were to land ( on land ) long time ago - we would all be hybrids.
Them fuckers wouldn't stop fucking our womyn.

>>7513046
We are descended from dolphins you moron. Sci is probably the dumbest board holy shit.

>>7513046
Female dolphins get wet(ter than usual) for human men too they are well known to have sex with / try to rape men.

In fact you should all try it one time, dolphin genitals are far stronger than ours, a female vagina around your dick is the best natural sexual stimulation you will ever experience.

Mozambique is the best place in the world for this, warm shallow waters, friendly dolphins and plenty of privacy.

Pic related: Beautiful dolphin pussy.

>>7513063
>descended
No, we have a common ancestor, we are most definitely not descended from dolphins.

>>7513074
>>7513063
Not sure which one of you took the bait, it's probably safe to say both.

>>7513071
>dolphin genitals are far stronger than ours
I've heard horror stories of dolphins that squeeze too tight and cut dicks off

>>7513080
Naaah bro, that is very unlikely if not impossible, it's strong, but trust me if anything your dick will just pop out, it's not like a clamp that can pull it off or anything. It will hurt a bit though, good luck.

>>7513086
>It's perfectly safe bro just trust me I'm on 4chan ;^)
k

>>7513091
Brah, I mean, just try it and see for yourself. Look I'll try to get some video proof next time I head out, but just think about it rationally there no way a soft biopolymer can cut your dick.

>>7512174
>Great at diplomacy

top kek

Are you faggots seriously considering fucking dolphins lmao smh tbh fam

>>7513097
Bro haven't you seen that scene in akira where the chick gets crushed in the dudes biopolymer? Just like, poof.

>>7513119
>considering
No.

There is literally nothing wrong with two beautiful mammals taking pleasure in each others bodies, maybe you should try it (in your case do human for your first) before criticizing.

>>7511696
>and dont even go on 4chan
You can't fool me.

>>7509970
Well, I wouldn't fuck with bears then.

>>7511737
>Dolphins fucking our females
>This is somehow not cuck
Cuck detected

>>7512935
>Killer whales
>Bro-tier
Uh...I think the clue is in the name.

>>7513071
People actually fuck dolphins?

>>7513181
Welcome to 4chan.

>>7513176
>Gets called out for using 'cuck' incorrectly
>Still uses it incorrectly and proves that he has no idea what it means

>>7513181
People fuck everything.

>>7511678
shut the fuck up

>>7512935
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tilikum_%28orca%29
>three murders
>no jail time
>didn't even get fired from his job where he did the murders
fuck those guys

>>7513190
If letting other animals take away your females isn't cuck then I don't know what is.

>>7513190
We're not getting cucked, because we're fucking their females too.

>>7513181
You don't have to be so lewd, many people make love to dolphins, yes.

>>7509896
yup.

>>7509903

>>7510746
This bitch is in a state of bliss.

>>7513074
Holy fuck isnt this the science board??

We are, according to based Sagan, 127 generations removed from dolphins. You faggots should try reading.

>>7513871
4/10 made me reply

When we merge are minds with machines and have IQs of 13000 will we be able to give animals neocortexes?

I want to have conversations with dolphins.

What are good dolphin pickup lines btw?

>>7509903
>swam away clicking at me
kek

>>7509903
You gave up the best sex in the universe. Hope you die a wizard.

>>7513071
I swore I would never go to Africa. I swore!

Godammit.

>>7513910
>When
lmao

Dolphins are stupid as hell, so it would be a close race.

>>7513871
That's 2500-3000 years.
2/10

>>7509903
kek/10

>>7514077
If a dolphin fucked his ass he wouldn't be alive.

>>7510746
Why is the dolphin trying to mate with the human girl when dolphins know they're clearly different?

>>7514123
>Why is the dolphin trying to mate with the human girl when dolphins know they're clearly different?

son....

>>7514122
And Superman unloads like a shotgun blast. Yeah we've all heard this before and it's
>bullshit
Anyway how have you lived this long and not seen the vid of a dolphin blowing a load in his trainer's mouth? I know for a fact he survived and so did a guy's wife who took it up the cooter.

>>7514123
Because they don't care.

>>7511696
>they dont even have jobs and swim all day
>and have sexytime all the time
sounds like a surfer

>>7513176
>Dolphins fucking our females
What do you mean by "our", Virgie?

>>7514095
How abt you learn math before ya open yr mouth virginboy? E v o l u t i o n .

>>7514123
>Getting sex without having to worry about child support

Seems like the dolphin is in the right here.

There is literally nothing wrong with interspecial sex.

>>7514414
You are correct. "Dolphins fucking your females."

No, they'd slip and fall everywhere, you moron.

>>7514470
>127 generations
It's generally accepted that a generation in human reproduction is around 25 years but was probably 20 years in prehistory because of shorter lifespans and relaxed social norms.

127 gen x 20 yr/gen = 2,540 yr
127 gen x 25 yr/gen = 3,125 yr

Of course dolphins reach sexual maturity in about half the time it takes humans so they have almost twice as many generations in the same time frame.
Wait, are you trying to fit evolution into biblical time frames?

>>7515577
Oy vey goyim trying to do the math is always a laugh. Generally accepted? Wrong. Evolution? Ignored. Bing Bang tier joke? Check!

>groups of males will kill child dolphins so mother is more available because momma dolphin's attention is making sure the child lives
>rape is as common as is not
>female dolphins are /sci/'s idealized white women
>male dolphins are nigger-tier

They could take over Africa or Australia if they had beaten the Europeans to genociding the abos. Other than that, no.

>>7516345
He thinks the cosmos is 6000 years old and flat.

>>7509903
I feel like I've seen this before, but I love it

>>7510746
>>7510747
← result of human+dolphinsex

>>7509896
They're pretty smart by animal standards but I don't see them doing complex math or anything.
Most of them are still getting raped by ocean trawlers

>>7510408
#100

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vfPZu5RbKM0

>>7517439
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vfPZu5RbKM0
I thought there would've been like actual rape footage of the dummy. I am so disappointed.

>>7510155
sauce?

>>7516714
>scales
Go back to >>>/b/