/sci/ - Science & Math

A minor kek
>they used to be a lot better...

>>7428892

>>7428892
>100% legit quotes

way to fail your thread OP

>>7429085
Isn't it >kirchoffs rule

>>7429094
>kirchoffs rule
Wouldn't both be acceptable?

>>7429098
The law I get
But the meme would have to say kirchoffs rule since as an electrician he would have to look at the circuit diagram

Nevertheless, this picture isn't hard to draw a circuit for since you just have find the "trans" then it's just the main current being divided to the houses

It's simply disorganized

Sorry for crashing your kek

>>7428892
Did he actually say did?

>>7429098
That guy got a lot of shit for saying pic related, but honestly, I've had to console crying female lab attendants more than once. They were students, though.

>>7429126
Of course not, jeez

>>7429129
Yeah we know m8.

I'm pretty sure, as with that dude with the shirt, the people offended are simply the masses of insecure cunts who can't do anything productive so shit on people who are - not actual female scientists.

>>7429120
Honestly, I can imagine Feynmann doing that.

>>7429085
>www.9gag.com

>>7429979
does anyone have the screenshot from that thread where someone says there's no niggers and females?

>>7429979
They all look autistic except the brown kid on the left who looks normal and the asian in the middle who looks like an evil genius.

>>7429963
So tired of this part of pop science. Overused to the max.

>>7429129
I've had more than a few men crying in my lab. Usually after failing to get grant/scholarship/job so they can stop being a shitty post-doc.

As a man, it's honestly hard to deal with. I could just hug a girl and tell her it'll be alright, can't do that with a boy.

>>7429107
>But the meme would have to say kirchoffs rule since as an electrician he would have to look at the circuit diagram

W-why? Do electricians call it a "rule" while engineers/physicists call it a "law"?

>>7431113
That entire thread was a goldmine, I wonder if it got archived.

An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I like both." "Both?" Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the gay bar and suck some cock."

Three men are in a hot-air balloon. Soon, they find themselves lost in a canyon somewhere. One of the three men says, "I've got an idea. We can call for help in this canyon and the echo will carry our voices far."
So he leans over the basket and yells out, "Helllloooooo! Where are we?" (They hear the echo several times).
15 minutes later, they hear this echoing voice: "Helllloooooo! You're lost!!"
One of the men says, "That must have been a mathematician." Puzzled, one of the other men asks, "Why do you say that?" The reply: "For three reasons. (1) he took a long time to answer, (2) he was absolutely correct, and (3) his answer was absolutely useless."

>>7431622
and the cat isn't "maybe" alive, it's both fucking alive and dead!

The neutrino leaves the bar.
The bartender says: "We don't serve your kind here."
A neutrino enters a bar.

>>7432163
He was one stubborn son of a bitch.

>>7432196
But neutrinos dont travel faster than the speed of light. Tachyons is the word you are looking for.

>>7432223
It's from when CERN thought they'd found superluminal neutrinos.

>>7432163
If people are going to use his full given name they could at least do it correctly, it should be William Thomson, 1st Baron Kelvin.

>>7432245
But the joke uses tachyons. It is a pretty old one. Even befor le big bong zimbawe may mays.

>>7429963
barfing literally

>Wiener measure is a basic tool in the study of Brownian motion
Fucking math. You can't make this shit up.

>>7428892
The exponential function and a constant go for a walk in the street. Suddenly, the constant sees that a differential operator is coming towards them. Then it complains: "Pal, I can't walk further in this direction, if I meet the differential operator, I'll becoming nothing!". The exponential function answers:"Alright, just avoid it by taking the turn, see you." "I'm so glad that my derivative is the same as me, so I won't change", the exponentional function confidently said. So he walked recklessly towards the differential operator...
> d/dy

>>7429132
Made me kek

>>7432408
>Not <span class="math">\frac{\partial}{\partial y}[/spoiler]

The joke doesn't work like that.

>>7432424
Why?

>>7429107
You are hands down the biggest faggot I have ever seen on this board. Congratulations, really.

>>7432132
>invented
*discovered

>>7429979
>>7431113
>>7432141
there
>>/sci/thread/7397354#p7397354

>>7432776
>the niggers of gender

>>7432815
Wat?

Dumping

>>7432815
kek

>>7432842

>>7432845

>>7432846

>>7432852

Dumping what i got

>>7432891
You can actually specialize in mycology for an undergraduate degree? Neat.

>>7432041
that's some blasphemous shit right there. dont ever desecrate that book like that again. delete that shit FOR EVER!

>>7432019
>hug girl
>sues you for sexual harassment
>ruined for life

Never touch them.

>>7432914
He was paying respects to our GodKing

>>7432918
that's the image of Leto. it's holy.

>>7432922
>2015
>Worshipping Leto
>Not following Our God King Shane's Golden Path of pure rationality

>>7432922
Nothing is sacred here, anon

Does anyone have the one with courses like Intro to wolframalpha or solutions manuals and where to find them?

>>7432939
Here it is, anon.

>>7432928
The amount of work that went into this

>>7429181
He probably did tbh. I know from experience that it works.

>>7433016
I can honestly see him saying that. Jesus

>>7433014
What happened to the text boards?

>>7433027
Were eventually abandoned since they almost had no traffic

>>7432915
I'm sorry you're gay son, but I hug female co-workers all the time

>>7432132
underrated

>>7432030

Last one i got for today

>>7432185
I think it's a really bad way to explain it, because people sort of ignore the emission of the particle. The point is that it is literally both. Its not like flipping a coin in the dark, where the answer exists but you can't see it. It's something that hasn't been decided yet.

>>7432943
>solution manuals and where to find them
lord please send help to my sides

>>7432163
Never say never, when talking of human invention.

>>7432163
>I have not the smallest molecule of faith
Didn't know he was a memester.

Back

>>7432167

Goddamn it I love these jokes.

>>7432408
>>7432424
>>7432429

If it were d/dy, the implication is that the function would be f(y) and the punchline makes no sense. The joke makes too many assumptions to be funny in the first place.

>>7433912

>>7433912
another one

>>7433070
I actually killed God. AMA

>>7432132
Some arab invented algebra pre-1000 AD

>>7434359
No, it was some frog who died in a duel about 200 years ago.

>>7434362
No that's the guy who invented the microwave

>>7434249
How do you pronounce Euler's name

I sometimes post this in free will threads and ppl think it's a joke but I don't think it is.

>>7434396
Gaub

>>7434396
Ehlehr

>>7434396
E.U. -ler

>>7434396
Hitler

>>7432172

I like this one. It's cute

A topologist was arguing with a quantum physicist about the surface properties of the orbits of electrons in a certain isotope's atoms. The QP held that the orbits were a closed sphere because the electron was everywhere until collapsed by observation. The topologist said that didn't matter, because the electron was always exactly somewhere, we just don't know where, so the orbits could be considered topologically a skein. The QP countered that both Pascal and Schroedinger would agree that if it isn't observed, then it can't yet exist. To which the topologist replied, "That is so frustrating I'm beside myself."

Cantor, Sierpinski, Banachiewicz, and Janiszewski walk into a bar. Cantor pinches the ass of another patron's wife, and the ensuing brawl results in his and Sierpinski's death. Surveying the aftermath, Janiszewski asks if Banachiewicz has anything to say.

"Gaskets to gaskets. Dust to dust."

Akira Haraguchi and Barry Rigby emigrated to the USA to become their combined worlds' first married gay couple. Rigby said he knew it was true love when Haraguchi confirmed they are both devoted to a Life of Pie.

Walther said, "The stations' separation is exactly 900 meters, so I will just phone to confirm the run instead of walking all the way over first."
Fry said, "I'm positive we did, yes."
Walther said, "I didn't ask you anything."
Fry said, "OK."
Walther went back to work. The next day, Walther fired the photons through their apparatus designed to block the communication loophole in Bell's theorem. After the run, Walther called up Fry on his phone and asked, "Did we measure good spin results on your end?"

>>7434396
Shekelgrubber>>7434397

>>7432787
Pretty true tbh, you can lead both to opportunities in STEM but you can't make them drink.

>>7434396
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/2a/De-Leonard_Euler.ogg

Q: "What's an anagram of Banach-Tarski?"
A: "Banach-Tarski Banach-Tarski."

>>7435415
Alright, I giggled

>>7432038
the farther you get from reality the more magical and divine things become. in the end shit does what it does smoike weed every day

>>7435415
Vsauce pls

>>7432157
It bothers me that <span class="math">0[/spoiler] <span class="math">never[/spoiler] divides a real number distinct from <span class="math">0[/spoiler].

>>7432815

I am not a mathematican, how does this work?

>>7435905
1 + 2 + 3 + 4 + ... = -1/12

Many areas of physics like QFT need this strange equation to work.

>>7434396
yolo

Someone post some chemistry jokes.

>>7436084
Why don't you. If you aren't going to be part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

>>7436562

>>7435905
See:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zeta_function_regularization

And

http://terrytao.wordpress.com/2010/04/10/the-euler-maclaurin-formula-bernoulli-numbers-the-zeta-function-and-real-variable-analytic-continuation/

>>7436084
Two men walk into a bar. The first man orders H2O. The other man says "I'll order H2O too."
The second man dies.

>>7433032
Can one still access and post on them? Or were they shut down forever?

>>7436582
Hardee har har

>>7436593
No. They were shut down years ago. For a while you could see but not post on them, basically turning them into grave yards, but I think even that was taken down.

>>7432815
Toppest Kek

Fukken saved, usin' that next time I visit the grad student pub.

>>7432840
>>7435905

Here's a simplified video with embedded links for the more complicated stuff if the first video piques your interest.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-I6XTVZXww

>>7432815
at least post the full version tbh

>>7434548
kek

>>7433952
>>7433956
love these

bump

>>7429963

I hear he was quite the hound for pussy.

>>7434397
If you think that's a good argument you don't understand the free will debate.

Obligatory,

>>7432928
That ending,kek.

>>7433016
>Dr Naruto

>>7436801
>tbh
do you even know what this means

>>7439239
tbh is the new cuckold, it has lost meaning in oh so many ways

>>7429978
that image is way older than 9fag, but how would you know right ? fucking summer kids

Posting classics

>>7439330

>>7439336
Look at these losers

>>7439344

>>7439351

>>7439239
it's a silly meme that came from vg tbh imo

>>7439336
>>7439330
i browse fit but dont participate in plg threads. what/who is sean?

>>7439440
My bestie

>>7439456
I hear that Cox is very popular with engineers

>>7439440
an /sp/ shitposter who got bored of ruining /sp/ so decided to ruin plg

>>7439515
Is this for real?

>>7439362

>>7439717
5/5 bretty gud

>>7432157
Kek I love this one

>>7432911

Easiest answer to this pic: be on a ship.

>bears can no longer stack up
>bears cannot climb the smooth metal exterior of ship
>eventually become exhausted and drown.

>>7429098
How fucking sour can you get over one remark of a nobel prize winner

>>7440534
That was amazing.

>>7440534
delete this

>>7440534
this is too much

>>7440534
Laughed heartily.

>>7440534
sounds a lot like...

"Joey’s cries of dread were echoing around the hangar. Ibu’s hand clamped around Laura’s shin. She squealed, first at the shock; then the yell grew wilder as she realized just how tight and painful his grip was. Stronger than any normal human. “What the—” His other hand clamped around her right ankle. She tried to pull herself through the hatch into the silo compartment, but she couldn’t move. Now Ibu began to pull her the other way. She felt her arms starting to straighten out as his unnatural strength overpowered her, tugging her back. Various ancient unarmed combat routines began to unfold from her storage lacuna, slipping into the macrocellular clusters. But Laura didn’t wait; she instinctively lashed out with her free foot, catching Ibu on the side of his head."

>>7434401
haha that's my post you saved

>>7439460
Underrated.

>>7440534
holy shit

>>7432185
You do get that the cat isn't actually both alive and dead right? It was literally just to show what Schrodinger believed to be a problem with the Copenhagen interpretation of quantum mechanics. I'm so fucking sick of this popsci bullshit teaching people that the cat is actually both alive and dead when it isn't.

>>7432846
This is technically correct for all moms...

>>7434020
>tfw 300k starting in any job you want
feels way better than sex

>>7436916
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2tIwYNioDL8

>>7440910
apart from mother nature

>>7432964
kek

>>7439362
This upsets me

>>7440950
Hiw so? Assuming that mother nature applies to all biological material, then there are even more atoms in mother nature than any person living, so it would be entirely accurate in that scenario.

>>7440534
oh my god

>>7440534

>>7433032
>>7436593
>>7436616
>>7433027
http://bbs.progrider.org/math/

Someone post the one with Euler and internet explorer please

>>7441435

>>7432223
Wouldn't that neutrino have to wait until the bartender saw him and until the sound reached his ears?

>>7429979
Conjuring up more still takes a bit of effort but he's working on it.

>>7434397
If there is no free will then you don't have a choice in the matter that they look before they cross the road.

>>7441187
the wind and the rain counts as mother nature so i presume it encompasses everything

>>7440534
Wait can someone explain this one?

>>7443116
JUST

>>7433016
Looks exactly like the shit he'd say.

>>7443156
What text is this from?

>>7443156
>>7443862
Google says "Organic Chemistry" Clayden, Greeves, Warren.

>>7443881
I should a tried to image search first... sorry but thank you anyway!

>>7433912
>Goddamn it I love these jokes.
Agreed, MORE!

>>7433070
I know that's a joke, but that's how I feel about a lot of Gods. I mean, Jesus was a cool guy but if his dad the OT God showed up I'd be looking for some sort of Kryptonite.

>>7443955
Good luck with that.

You were warned.

>>7432918
jesus fucking christ I'm never going to try to be smart again. thanks leo I think you just made my life better

>>7433035
rekt

>>7436926
Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

>>7432842
>read all the mango
Of all the lines that I could lose to, why this?

>>7440534
thank you

>>7443147
Yeah I can explain.

It's like the time me and my girl were out in our car fooling around and the radio was on and mentioned a report about an escaped killer with a hook for a hand. So as I'm feeling her up we hear this scrapping sound outside the car and she freaks out and says we should leave. We don't leave right away but when we do and get back to my place and get out of the car we see a severed hook holding onto the car door.

Now as I said we didn't leave right away when she first started freaking out because I was all hard and shit. So I made sure and fucked her good first and busted my nut to comfort her, because what the hell, I ain't ending a date like that without first emptying my dick. Generally speaking it was a good time.

>>7443116
>Reading University
See now there's your problem.

>>7432983
Classic

>>7432815
>i posted it again lol

>>7444381
>university snobbery
This is why I left academia, I realized it was all about prestige and one-upping your peers
>inb4 shit uni butthurt
I went to UCL. Place was so fucking posh and stuck up I hated it. I believe in science for all, an open and encouraging environment no matter your skill level or background.

dropped by /sci/ one day and saw this

and then a different time I saw this

>>7432163
wasn't he the same fool who said there would never be anything new to discover in physics?

>>7432928
I always had this idea of a "paper 4chan" where you got a booklet every week with all the threads printed in it, you wrote your reply to a certain post along with a picture and it would be printed in next week's edition for all to see. Obviously way obsolete but it would be a fun experiment to see if 4chan could have worked 50 years ago. With the slowness of boards such as /n/ and /diy/ there wouldn't even be a massive difference in reply times.

>>7439408
"tbh" came from /r9k/'s /britfeel/

>>7444480
I second this

>>7444480
There was a 4chan before 4chan it was called the walls of public restrooms. Seriously you wouldn't believe some of the back and forth arguments I'd read back in the day. Every time I look at /b/ it reminds me of it.

>>7432928
A work of pure genius. I doth tip my hat to its maker.

>>7445004
We don't serve your kind around here

A tachyon walks into a bar

>>7432224
Yeah. Basically my interpretation of that shithead.

>>7445002
>>7445004
Idea: 10/10
Execution: 10/10

>>7432860
Hahaha

>>7432852
>than there are less

>>7439456
Aren't there 2pi radians?

>>7440179
Yeah that's actually true. A plane will run out of fuel, but will the bears be at any airport waiting for you? Anyway you can get a luxury ship and live on it comfortably.

>>7445020
do you understand the point of this thread?

>>7445004
>>7445002
Woah

>>7445027
You can't get a true luxury ship for $1M in today's world.

You can get a ship, but it won't be some amazing, luxurious yacht. It'll either be a well-furnished dinghy or a massive chunk of plywood, but neither would be comfortable living.

Decent living boats start at about 5 times that much. And don't even get me started on the cost of bearproofing the thing.

Invest the $1m in S&P500 index funds and CD ladders, using the returns to pay for tickets on a cruiseliner for the rest of your life. If you average out the expensive season with the cheap season you should be able to pull it off just fine with $1M.

Assuming /pol/ is wrong about september, of course.

>>7445065
>And don't even get me started on the cost of bearproofing the thing.

Why the hell would you bearproof a boat? There aren't any bears in the sea.

Maybe that's why you think boats cost so much. Because you've been paying for some kind of retarded paint that deflects aquatic bears.

>>7445068
k m8

>>7445068
>There aren't any bears in the sea.
Do you even polar bear, faggot?

>>7445081
what a weird fish

>>7445068
because a wall of bears, two wide and 500000 tall will reach a boat nigger

>>7444459
But dude, Reading is actually shit.

>>7444992
Oh you...

>>7445065
>Assuming /pol/ is wrong about september, of course.
What's happening in September?

>>7440022
>treble

KEK

>>7445113
apparently the super-shemita. every 7 years in September a shemita or reset occurs (economic) and every 7th shemita (4th year) a super shemita occurs. according to /pol/
so supposedly this September is the 7th shemita and a super economic crash shall occur. I wouldn't be surprised at an economic crisis like the euro failing ad the US dollar going full fiat.
but I don't think it's due to some stupid shemita bullshit

>>7445167
*49th not 4th sorry

>>7429129
Honestly whenever someone creates drama in the lab here it's always a woman. Crying, being angry and holding pointless feuds about trivial shit, and falling in love - all things women do. It's not usually a huge problem, but it is annoying to see people just flat-out refuse to listen to someone who obviously has more experience in a certain matter just because they have a personal dislike for this person.

One of the members of our lab buys time on the fluorescence microscope in ANOTHER LAB because she can't stand the person who explains how to use our fluorescence microscope. That's not how grant money should be put to use.

The guys here don't have this problem, they tend to work together when they need to.

>>7439694
Yeah.

Source: http://www.biography.com/people/albert-einstein-9285408

>>7443114

the only joke here is me, for being retarded enough to waste my time reading this garbage

>>7432030
>yokozuna

every fucking time

>>7434396

>Euler = Oy-lair

source: I'm german

>>7445000

I would watch this

>>7434396
yooler

>>7445002
>>7445004
Bravo!

>>7445912
Oy-vey

>>7443119
>>7438632
This is a humor thread

>>7445002
>>7445004
Perfect.

>>7432918
Shane is the trashiest name out there.

Have an EMdrive comic.

>>7447553
shane...

>>7447554
If i take your memes, will you die?

>>7432815
but you would die before he manages to steal anything from you. if he gives you n money every 1/2^n minutes, he would steal the 1/12 from you in just 1 minute

>>7443158

I had this book for linear algebra, my teacher really really liked the joke

>>7433016
Where's the one with quantum skeletons

>>7449460

>>7432911
A true Ursids meteor shower, excellent

>>7444330
Is that the classic way the story is always told or is that straight from Community?

>>7445004
>>7445002
Oh my fuck

>>7432136
Every good.

That book cover is a joke by itself.

>>7445004
They're extinct.

>>7445113
The happening.

>>7429120

>top drawer stuff

Gets me every time.

>>7433016

>Dr. Naruto

My sides

which came first? >>7450482