/sci/ - Science & Math

Troll tread. I called it first. Where's my fucking medal, 4chin?!

Another reason why religion makes animals of us all.

>>6906841
An atheist professor was teaching a college class and he told the class that he was going to prove that parents don't love their children. He said, "Mom, if you love me, then I want you to give me a thousand dollars. I'll give you 15 minutes!" Ten minutes went by. He kept taunting her, saying, "Here I am, Mom. I'm still waiting."

>>6906841
A liberal muslim homosexual ACLU lawyer professor and abortion doctor was teaching a class on Karl Marx, known atheist

”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!”

At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life Navy SEAL champion who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decision made by the United States stood up and held up a rock.

”How old is this rock, pinhead?”

The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied “4.6 billion years, you stupid Christian”

”Wrong. It’s been 5,000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real… then it should be an animal now”
The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Origin of the Species. He stormed out of the room crying those liberal crocodile tears. The same tears liberals cry for the “poor” (who today live in such luxury that most own refrigerators) when they jealously try to claw justly earned wealth from the deserving job creators. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, DeShawn Washington, wished he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps and become more than a sophist liberal professor. He wished so much that he had a gun to shoot himself from embarrassment, but he himself had petitioned against them!
The students applauded and all registered Republican that day and accepted Jesus as their lord and savior. An eagle named “Small Government” flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The pledge of allegiance was read several times, and God himself showed up and enacted a flat tax rate across the country.

The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of the gay plague AIDS and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.

A Physical Review D chief editor theoretical physics professor and proponent of M theory was teaching a class on Edward Witten, known topological quantum field theorist.

"Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship string theory and accept that AdS/CFT is the most highly-evolved correspondence to QFT the continent has ever known, even greater than Smolin's loop representations!"

At this moment a brave mathematical physicist who had written more than 150 papers in loop quantum cosmology and understood the necessity of formulating quantum theories of consciousness and fully supported all loop quantum gravity postulates stood up and held up several publications in supersymmetry.

"How empirically supported are these texts, brainless?"

The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied "It doesn't matter, you stupid mathematician, because SUSY is the most parsimonious extension of our current particle models."

"Wrong. It's been 40 years since human reason created it. if it was true, and supersymmetry, as you say, is real... then CERN should have verified it by now."

>>6906850

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Superstring Theory. He stormed out of the room crying those non-experimentalist crocodile tears. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, Leonard Susskind, wished he had pulled hiimself up by his bootstraps and become more than a publisher of untestable theories. He wished so much that he had some kind of meaningful data from the LHC's high energy collisions to hold on to, but he himself dismissed them as not being able to conclude anything about SUSY!

The students applauded and all picked up "The Trouble with Physics" that day and accepted Penrose's approach to the theory of everything. An eagle named "Big Bounce" flew into the room and perched atop the copy of "The Road to Reality" and shed a tear on the hardcover. The abstract of "What happened before the Big Bang" was read several times, and Feynman himself showed up and conclusively denounced all of string theory as bunk.

The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of the gay plague AIDS and his "publications" were disregarded for all eternity.

>>6906849
Ahahahaha dude I'm fucking dying