/sci/ - Science & Math

>>6869567
The Europeans are gonna harpoon an asteroid in 4 hours...

How is this not an American plan? Seriously, what happened to us?

>>6869604
The thruster that is supposed to cancel with the impulse of launching the harpoon doesn't seem to be working. I predict moby dick jokes. Anyway there big thread all about this..

>>6869617
>Anyway there big thread all about this..
Ah, thanx! (Probably should've searched catalog Rosetta, rather than xkcd.)

>>6866639

>>6869604
>How is this not an American plan?
Because now German rockets scientist aren't working in the US anymore.

>>6869629
thread is now autosaging, let's continue here

>>6869629
Thread was close to limit at the moment, close enough. A bit early, but OK.

FIRST SCIENCE PACKET

>>6869670
This.

captcha: fittaws HISTORY

The first science packet from Rosetta has arrived!

captcha: senden average

>Ariane 5 comet
Ariane 5 is a rocket, not a comet.

>>6869662
I hope his name is Gordon

>>6869692
She's just paying her respect.

>>6869697
Where did you find that?

>>6869690
That would rougly translate into "The pussy's (as in vagina's) history" in Norwegian and Swedish.

>>6869696
His name is Matt

https://twitter.com/mggtTaylor

>>6869703
Lol, I'm norwegian but didn't even notice.

>>6869704
Oh well. One can only hope.

>>6869567
>Anyone else watching the Rosetta probe / Philae lander latch onto the Ariane 5 comet in "real" time on XKCD?
>latch onto the Ariane 5 comet in "real" time
>Ariane 5 comet
>Ariane 5
>comet

Wut?

>>6869703
well if the person who wrote it accidently the whole keyboard

captcha: hurskfver mansaker

what's happening? why are they not happy?

>>6869617
>phillae gets a harpoon in the comet but because its back thruster was broke it is unable to hold itself to the comet to insert the drill or latch on
>phillae gets dragged far from the sun and runs out of power
>it's last transmission is "to the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee"

I'm not getting any sound from the stream, anybody else?

Pictures in the livestream! Tune in!

>>6869730
never mind here it is

Anyone know how I can access the server with the first images?
It was said they'd be available.

>selfie is now a scientific term

What a world we live in

>>6869735
WHY DID YOU UPLOAD THAT BIG A PICTURE

Why are all the moby dick jokes showing up now?

>>6869740
Because I can.

>>6869718
My bad, I tried to say "Churyumov–Gerasimenko" but I spit all over my monitor.

Two hours left!!!

>>6869751
FUCK! IT'S A DRAGON! RUN!!!!

>>6869753
Until we have confirmation of touch down.
Gotta wait a lot longer for the post cards

>>6869755
That is indeed the most menacing piece of space rock I've ever seen...

...How the fuck are you supposed to land on that?

>>6869760
With harpoons. What else?

>>6869760
It's pretty big. But the peanut shape did present some serious gravitational field related issues

so what the hell is this supposed to be?

>>6869767
ALIENS

STILL HYPED

>>6869767
That's what he asked himself too.

>>6869767
ayy lmao

When is this thing supposed to land?

>>6869780
2H

>>6869780
in about two hours

Anyone knows how they communcate? Radio?

>>6869791
Two cans and a piece of string

>>6869784
>>6869787
Sweet.

Ima be at work on a computer too.

Awww yiss. Science.

>>6869791
there is nothing else than radio, yes.

>>6869767

>>6869767
Oh god, I hope that isn't the best they can get. Then something has happened to the camera. They still can navigate, but that does not look good, not at all. Not for images.

Is this gonna be like the mars lander where we get a flood of photos or is there just gonna be radio communication that its landed?

>>6869767
ayy lmao

>>6869803
Will be images, both from Rosetta herself when she comes back around and Philae

>>6869801
panic intensifies

LANDING CONFIRMATION IN 5 MINUTES

>>6869813
Uhm, nope.

>>6869813
>>6869814
Wait what, that just said Landing Confirmation 14:00 GMT, unless I misread it

>>6869814

>>6869803
>ROLIS (Rosetta Lander Imaging System) is a CCD camera to obtain high-resolution images during descent and stereo panoramic images of areas sampled by other instruments.

>>6869817
>>6869816

>>6869798
ayy

>>6869816
>>6869817
Yeah, that's an hour from now. Also, the entire missions was postponed 1 hour earlier today, before they did the trajectory change, is this including that?

>>6869818
>>6869807
Thats fucking crazy. Hooray science.

>>6869819
Well that was misleading
>>6869821
14:00 is in 2 minutes m8

>>6869798
lel

I have to study strength of materials and I'm not giving a flying fuck, who else? I'm still fucking hyped

>>6869823
I wrote it badly, I'm kinda drunk. I meant, that would be with the changes and then wrote the second thingie as if I meant without the changes. God I'm drunk-

Oh shit it is the big CIA guy.

where's the pic of that guy with the crazy shirt

>>6869791
Smoke signals.

FOR YOU

Dr Pavel, I'm ESA

>little triangular pyramid things

ILLUMINATI

What the fuck is going on?

Is this what Philae is seeing?

>>6869823
OK, ignore everything I said. I was trying to say somehow it's around 2 hours from now. I have no idea what I'm saying.

67-P is a big comet

Oh shit its littlefinger

>>6869824
I have to write several articles on adoption, but instead I am here spending 9001 hours in MS paint to insert sexy drawings into out-of-context images from an extremely important moment in science.

the fuck are you wankers watching, I've still got the blue screen.

The hype is unbearable

This comet doesnt fly so good.

Dr. Space... I'm CIA.

>>6869798
>dat shitty 'shop job

what is this shit, gib photos

Oh Europe. Shit like this is why we dont take you seriously.

>>6869833
Promethius
When the lander starts burrowing on the coment, strange primordial snakes will hatch from the ice and bite it.

waaaaaterrr

>>6869844
what the fuck are they watching?

shut up guys, the lady is speaking.

there's going to be a pretty big plothole in this sci-fi shit if the mission fails

Holy fuck, one epic movie.

>>6869841
http://new.livestream.com/accounts/362/events/3544091
Is nothing right now. There's like 55 minutes of dead time and 5 minutes of actual streaming and interviews etc. They could have done more with it ... OK, not expecting a goddamn realityshow, but still-

Also, it's a disgrace we haven't had this in any of the threads
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVn1oQL9sWg

>>6869848

He's a big guy

>>6869853
'bout goddamn time, I'm getting drunk and ready for more shit

>>6869846
here's the image. I don't have photoshop. Edit it in if you think you can do a betetr job.

>>6869856
Tune in now, lot's of stuff now.

>>6869859
>
4u

'oi mate, you got 67p?'

>>6869848

We are firing harpoons at comets m8. Jelly?

Was that a clip they made, or part of a movie? It was pretty neat either way.

ooo Monica has slipped into something else

>>6869851
space cia

I'm guessing the lander is still well within the comet's gravity well. Even if it bounces off, it's going to have to settle down somewhere.

>>6869860
not a bad idea, I'm getting a beer for ya.
This is a special moment

>>6869865
Only because NASA didnt feel like it.

We've bombed the moon. You mad?

Why not call it German Space Agency? Let these guys speak german and get a proper translator.

>>6869866
It's live.

They adapt it to what's happening in the mission.

If Philae crashes that woman will die.

>>6869864
lol I'm watching in 720p

>>6869866
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H08tGjXNHO4

>>6869862
Gotcha, my stream actually had frozen, so thanks for the headsup

>>6869868
She's a big guy.

>>6869873
> Not recognising french accent

>>6869868
Perhaps they are wondering why someone would deactivate the thrusters before throwing him out of a satellite

>>6869874
If aliens emerge from the comet and begin raping the lander, will the guy rape the chick live?

>>6869883
yes

LAND ALREADY GODDAMIT

Why is the meme guy on the comet?

>>6869874
I was referring to the live stream, sorry for not being clear.. They were earthbenders or something!

>>6869881
that guy is german though, and most of the guys he just announced are german too.

>>6869883
Never have I been so excited by the prospect of finding alien life

>>6869873
I think most of the scientist working at the ESA are french. Not shocking considering that the french are the only one to have a space program outside of the ESA in Europe

my stream keep freezing every 5 second

>>6869892
I only hear ze ze ze and the only proper pronounced words are Hessen, Darmstadt and german names.

>>6869887
He's ESA

>>6869893
Same here.
It wasn't working at all before.

>>6869894
Uh, have you never heard someone who speaks native french speaker speak english?

>>6869894
Come on, the accents aren't that bad

>>6869892
>Not shocking considering that the french are the only one to have a space program outside of the ESA in Europe

That isn't true, but the French one is bigger than the rest.

>>6869877
Thanks!

Based Star Trek always gets in there.

>>6869895
Are you some kind of a big guy?

>>6869892
>implying

Best logo reporting in

OH MY GOD EINSTEIN IS STILL ALIVE.

>>6869904
RIP Beagle 2

/fa/ as fuck

Oh fuck it's einstein

omg an Einstein lookalike

separation image fuck yeah

>>6869906
My fucking sides are orbiting the comet

clap clap

THAT WAS THE PICTURE ON THE MONITOR

Heh, that's the same image >>6869767 spotted.

>>6869912
where?

>>6869918
4u

>>6869903
for you

>>6869917
can you see how it rendered? amazing stuff.

That frenglish haha

Taxmonies well spend

>>6869904
Your logo doesn't look pro at all, there aren't any straight line and angles in space.
2/10.

Look at his, simple and yet sophisticated made of curves and sphere, totally space related

>>6869914
Care to share the URL for the vlc stream?

>>6869920

>>6869928
6/10

Meh, could be better

>>6869927
I'm using livestreamer
http://livestreamer.readthedocs.org/en/latest/

>>6869925
It looks like an arrow pointing skywards though

>>6869927
http://new.livestream.com/ESA/cometlanding

HYPED

>>6869928
i'm 12 and what is this

>>6869920
gosh my sides

>>6869925

>>6869930
Nice, didn't know this existed. Great to stay away from flash.

>>6869904
That is pretty cool.

>>6869937
still totally space related. Uranus is a cool planet

fantastique

Is there an english stream somewhere?

>>6869947
On the ESA website you mong

>>6869947
kek
Welcome to Yurop

What was he saying at the end of his speech?

>>6869947
le the guy do his thang, he tried to speak it.
Oh look, now a britbong is speaking

horrible ducht accent incoming

>Dutch English

>>6869955
It's still a million times better than that french guy.

>>6869954
That's definitely not an english accent

>>6869954
...that Yurop should be among the main eeeehhmmm... ehrrrrr,,,,ehhhh
Europoors are you even trying?

>>6869962
Go back to sleep amerifat.

If this was an american mission, you'd have air force fly-bys, marching bands, hamburgers and lots of slow talking, sweating fat men.

if EU never letin greece they could have allocated 80 billion dollars towards esu

X-man mutant mission?

wait wut?

>>6869958
More understandable, but sounds so cringeworty. Maybe it's just because I'm dutch.

>>6869967
I heard that too
what a time to be alive

>>6869965
high- fives, whooping, clapping, gunshots

>>6869968
Yeah you guys hate your own language and culture.
No surprise there.

>>6869965
>implying that wouldn't be better

>>6869968
I know what you mean, I'm German and couldn't bear listening to the German scientists talking

>>6869927
>VLC
go fucking kill yourself

Why are they clapping?

For fucks sake every time I go afk something happens

>>6869977
bit harsh

>>6869977

>>6869975
Ching-chong here, chinese accents are unbareable to me too.
Just to chip in.

>>6869979
first contact with aliens

>>6869979

They are just doing recaps.

that awkward clapping :|

>>6869979
It's just a recap of the last hours.

Any IRC channel related to this?

>>6869981
I hope that guy has a mouse in his pocket

>>6869990
lel, my thoughts exactly

>>6869990
It's hanging down the side of the tower

>australia
Oh great, I can't wait for the Australian media to go on for days about how we did so 'much' to help.

ONE HOUR LEFT

>>6869994

>>6869998
More like hour an a half but whatever.

So, where are all the tourists from?

>>6869981
Honestly, VLC is the cancer of videoplayers, even for networks. It's preinstalled with the worst settings with the worst codecs.

>>6869994
I think he might be talking about the guy without a mouse..

>>6870004
>caring this much

Turn down the autism anon.

>>6869999
What's that for?

>>6870000
nice quads and quints

>>6870000
Nice zeros. The guy just said that we have less than an hour.

mpv + livestreamer masterrace here

>>6870004
It's not that bad. Let it go.

What the fuck is this guy saying?

>>6870010
in less than an hour we will know when the landing will take place.

>>6870010
For the landing, the confirmation takes a while to get to earth though.

>>6870012

This day is great day.

>>6870008
Not so much autism, I work with editing, and it hurts watching people use VLC. It just absolutely everything wrong. It's meant to use over very slow network and crap hardware, so for what it does, it's good.
But what it does, is make videos crap.

>dat photographer

It must be crazy discovering a comet, and then 45 years after humanity is landing on it.

>>6870020
2spooky

>>6870004
is MPC HC better?

This guy is just watching them landing on HIS FRECKING COMET. How awesome is that?

>>6870012
see >>6870018
It's literally the worst player that exists.

>>6870027
Yes

>>6870028
>implying he owns it

poor Russian guy, I feel him. I used to suck at English.

>>6869567
oh gosh this guys is kawaii as fuck.
would drink vodka and bang whores/10

>>6870016
thanks for doing that so I don't have to
/frz/?

>>6870031
You see it, you buy it.

>>6870029
I don't care.

Any stream with 4chan chat? I want to spam all the memes :^)

>>6870013

Poor guy. He's clearly not comfortable with public speaking in English.

>>6870033
ikr, people speaking broken English are fucking kawaii

>>6870032
Didn't even realize he was speaking english.

this guy has to be drunk

i come to study Mechanical Engineering at Russian university. i am here little time and i am very hard stress. i am gay also and this very difficult for me, i am very religion person. i never act to be gay with other men before. but after i am in russia 6 weeks i am my friend together he is gay also. He was show me Russian video game and then we are kiss.

We sex together. I never before now am tell my mother about gay because i am very shame. As i fuck this Russian boy it is very good to me but also i am feel so guilty. I feel extreme guilty as I begin orgasm. I feel so guilty that I pick up my telephone and call Mother in Ukraine. I awaken her. It too late for stopping so I am cumming sex. I am very upset and guilty and crying, so I yell her, “I AM CUM FROM SEX” (in Ukraine). She say what? I say “I AM CUM FROM SEX” and she say you boy, do not marry Russian girl, and I say “NO I AM CUM FROM SEX WITH MAN, I AM IN ASS, I CUM IN ASS” and my mother very angry me. She not get scared though.

I hang up phone and am very embarrass. My friend also he is very embarrass. I am guilt and feel very stupid. I wonder, why do I gay with man? But I continue because when it spurt it feel very good in Russian ass.

>>6870040
>>6870043
>>6870044
The most important skill to have at these kind of conferences is being able to keep a straight face at all times.

>>6870045
2/10 got me to reply

>>6870038
Then you must be fucking blind. The colors are off, the contrast is off, it actually downsamples HD videos to sub-HD and cuts frames.
It's a horrible player meant for shitty networks that ruins the quality of any video.

this is is zi a heh with help of fotographic that andn hee and pfoographi and comet cometsola and eh met several place and comet comelsola and found out new object and fi-fiv-five position exact position something something professor marvin

>>6870045
new copypasta?

>>6870049
it sure does mate

lol borat making no sense

>>6870018
My roommate is in a student very prestigious media program and says youre being autistic.

.... 67P

clap clap clap

>>6870029
But what's the alternative?

>>6870043
there's not much english words in his english

So fucking cute
reminds me of Kojima spilling spaghetti

They could've provide an interpreter

>>6870049
Please stop.

cosmos in space and the in future and uhh oiu not enough zis substance viu space object moon and hehe substance celestial from space objects very important role

Finally someone to translate.

qt spot

>>6870057
MPC HC

dayum, who's dat bird

lol

thats the cleaning lady, surely

>>6870061
>>6870066
Exactly

>>6870071

'nyet'

>>6870071
qt on the right

>>6870071
she probably has like 3 PhD's

>>6870071
what a cutie

>>6870075
>not the left

fucking casual

>womyn talking about shoes or some shit

>>6870079
IN CLEANING AYY LMAP

>>6870068
> open source media player for Windows®

Right...

>that shoebox of a control room

>europe

>>6870071

kek'd hard

>>6870060
No, she is Kojima.
>DID YOU RIKE IT?

>>6870080
>It reminds me of a boot
>A root?

>>6870033

that green suit is disgusting and hot at the same time.

>>6870071
SHIT HER RUSSIAN ACCENT IS QT

>>6870092
Yeah, just disgusting

Philea!

>>6870085
>not being able to control a comet lander from a shoebox
>USA

l-lewd

>>6870092
She has a nice bum

>>6870095
it looks like her crotch is drippin wet doe

>Dat image of the lander

Holy shit that is great.

>>6870092
I'd wife her.

>>6870096
No he looks like this.

>>6870096
>61x45

Literally fuck you.

>>6870097
Because we were busy sending multiple rovers to mars.

Wait where is the comet in the image?

>is great success!

>>6870102
She can philae my willae if u kno wat i meen

>>6870108
>Screengrab

>>6870110
>We have the science

>dat cake and cherry

>>6870108
more like too busy relying on private contractors

>>6870102
she wont have her cake without the cherry

qt

le cake meme

>>6870108
>implying sending rovers to mars isn't pointless

>>6870119
>his country doesnt have private contractors that launch shit in to space

>>6870102
hnngg I can see it now

>>6870107
Kawaii as fuck

>>6870126
more like blow up seconds after takeoff.

>>6870108

>Sending more and more shit to Mars

How about doing something different for a change?

>>6870130
Yeah, that engine was a russian engine btw.

HYPE

>other missions like jews
What did I just hear

>>6870133
>his country relies on russian technology

>mission Jews

>>6870133

The Russians don't seem to have any problems with them.

>>6870133
yeah, and they used it because it was cheap.
private contractors.

Jews?

>>6870133
... being used since Russian rocket engines eclipsed American rocket engines? Don't get me wrong, the whole nationalistic 'we WE WE US THEM' attitude when people talk about space exploration is backwards as heck but still, what's your argument here?

>>6870132
uhh because mars used to be a lot like earth

that's the spirit

>>6870108
You couldn't even send Exomars.Hopefully the Russians don't fuck that up.

>>6870132
Do you remember seing the first pictures from the surface of mars. Wat an oh shit moment

>jettison the Jews

classic germans

did he just say a mission called "Jews"?

>>6870132
We already sent a lander to Titan, and New Horizons will arrive at Pluto soon.

>a European spirit
When has that ever worked out well

Yurop fuck yeah!

And now we go to the real Europa.

>>6870153
he obviously said juice

>>6870139
Mission to the Jewish homeplanet

why do you think they have such large craving for power, because they want to use it to their advantage and return home

JEWS

>>6870142
JUICE. Jupiter Icy Moon Explorer

White power

>>6870160
>tfw they're home planet is Ferenginar

fuck now I can't stop staring at her pants

oh dear she looks so nerverous

She looks very uncomfy.

>>6870132
Yeah, sorry, were busy trying find out if humans can live on another planet.

dis junkie bitch

she looks spooky

she looks terrified

>>6870168
trousers*

>>6870151
I wasn't born in 1976.

We need a new thread btw

>let's all laugh at Rikke

-ESA

>>6870174

METH: you'll end up at ESA

>>6870172
>>6870170
>>6870177
>>6870175

>she touched it last, if anything went wrong, blame her.
You would be scared too

>>6870183
Make one.

>>6870187
i was thinking the exact same thing. it looked like she was being set up.

>>6870189
Fuck you I'm from /sp/. Make threads for your on board.

>>6870192
I'm on board with the thread too mate.

>>6870183
Threads last a long time on /sci/.

>>6870189
Making on enow.

>>6870197
why exactly do we need one?

>wee bit longer

Would never think I'd hear a non anglo say that

>le black science man

>>6870183
>>6870189
Surely, we can at least wait for >page 9

>>6870192
Suddenly a lot of things make sense

>>6870198
Uhm, because someone said we neded one?

>>6870204
>>6870198
Because we're past bump limit.

>>6870198
You dont want this thread on the front page?

>LE NEGRO SCIENTIST FAEC GUISE XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Just tuned in, when is this exactly happening?

>>6870208
an hour

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CbIZU8cQWXc

someone make a new thread you cunts and link it here

>>6870198
thread is now autosaging
>>6870202
it will be easier for people to find the thread if it stays on page 1

>>6870205
How do you know that?

>>6870208
11:03 I think?

>>6870204
>>6870205
>>6870206
herp derp didn't notice we passed bump limit

>>6870158
Europa will end up as being a big-ass hydrogen station for other missions.

it's aliiive

NEW THREAD 6870217

>>6870211
>autosaging for 60 posts
>still on page one
No need

>>6870215
You dont have 4chanx?

>>6870214
>>6870209


Thanks i will go play Kerbal in the meantime

>>6870217
>>6870217
>>6870217
new thread

here fags

>>6870224

>>6870220


>>6870217 fixed

>>6870220
I believe you mean this:
>>6870217

>>6870213

>>6870212
People are capable of using the catalog.

TOUCHDOWN

>>6870132
Because everything else is insanely far away and near impossible to get to without gravitational maneuvers around several planets which could bring mission times up by a huge fucking amount. Venus is easier to get to than Mars, but it's atmosphere makes the bottom of our oceans look pretty appealing.