/sci/ - Science & Math

Simplify
(4+O)P=F*A*G^3/(G^2)-4P

>>6703867
13

>>6703867
You make me much sad. My life is that much worse. Thx anon

>If you think they're funny, you probably don't have any friends.

ftfy

>>6703862
Math is a joke itself. It tries to explain reality, but it does not consider the real karma theory that runs the universe. Those old virgin people who thinks that knows the universe, but will never be even able to understand the real truth, the quantum soul of metaphysics. But you can stay here OP, be the autistic number manipulator you're and loose the real tight between reality and yourself.

>>6703906
>implying mathematical models haven't improved every single aspect of your life

>muh karmuh
>muh truff
>u can't kno nuthin

>>6703919
>every single aspect of your life
they definitely havent.

>>6703867
>(4+O)P=F*A*G^3/(G^2)-4P

Can't, ambiguous

>>6703862
e^x is a nice enough guy. Kinda shy, though; doesn't get out so much. His buddy sin(x) decides to bring him to a little get-together, try and introduce him to a few other functions. Cos(x) and tan(x) are there too, and everyone's having a good time, but e^x is feeling overwhelmed and heads outside to get some air. Sin(x) follows him outside and says, "Man, just give it a bit longer. Come back inside and integrate!" e^x looks at him sadly and says, "It won't make a difference."

>>6703940
that totally makes absolutely no sense at all. sin cos tan arent buddies of e, theyre descendants.

>>6703919
>math and science can improve every aspect of life
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autism

>>6703943
wut

>>6703947
I'm not him, but what doesn't it improve?

>>6703995
relationships.

>>6704019

Cell phones that bring people closer together by giving them a quick and convient way to contact one another.

>>6704024
>Cell phones that bring people closer together
utter, utter nonsense.

>>6704026

There are other examples. Cell phones may have not been the best, but mathematics plays a large part in almost everything we do.

>>6704038
it doesnt improve food or relationships. thats two major sources of wellbeing it has no positive influence on.

>>6704038
Nobody here is saying that Math isn't absolutely wonderful and fantastic and plays a sometimes important role in many important things but really? a large part in almost everything we do? Really? Think about it. On a true but entirely irrelevant level they play a role in everything in the sense that, oh, atoms play a role in everything.

>>6703975
e^x is the only necessary trigonometric function, the rest is just combinations of it.

>>6704052
>Nobody here is saying that Math isn't absolutely wonderful
actually im not so sure. sure its entertaining and all, but im not convinced the technologization it has made possible is all that great a thing. technology is a catalyst, and considering how its often used... kinda not getting hyped.

>>6703862
Computer Science

>>6704040
>skyping with relatives
>online recipes
>automated factories making the kool aid you're drinking

>>6704052
>On a true but entirely irrelevant level they play a role in everything in the sense that, oh, atoms play a role in everything.

What hte fuck am I reading

>>6704076
Autism is a serious thing.

>>6704069
/thread.

An engineer, a physicist and a mathematician spend a night in the same house. First the physicist wakes up and sees a fire in the corridor. He uses his expertise in physics to extinguish the flames and goes back to bed. Then the engineer wakes up and sees a fire in the same corridor. He notices a fire extinguisher on the wall, downloads its manual onto his smartphone and uses it to get rid of the flames, then returning to bed. Soon the mathematician wakes up and...

...sees an ember on the corridors floor. He then reignites the fire so that the problem has now been reduced into a previously solved one, and thus the mathematician returns to bed.

Or: ... sees a fire in the corridor. He looks around and notices the fire extinguisher. "The solution is trivial", he says and returns to bed.

>>6704058
Change it to them being his sons

A physicist, a mathematician, and an engineer went to visit their friend, the zoologist.
The zoologist comes to them and say: "I am doing research on the behavior of horses, but I was given only a few fence pieces to hold them in. How can I give them the most area to run around in with the fence pieces I have?"
The physician surveys the area and says: "Simple, just make a circular fence."
The mathematician took three fence pieces, and put them around himself in a very small triangle. "Behold!", said the mathematician, "I define myself to be outside of the fence!".
The engineer wasn't paying any attention, because he was too busy sucking off one of the horses.

>inb4:
>math PhD
>any job I want
>300k starting

What does the "B." in Benoit B. Mandelbrot stand for?

Benoit B. Mandelbrot

>>6704687
Find an anagram of Banach-Tarski.
Banach-Tarski Banach-Tarski

>>6703919
...I can't into physics. Does that evaluate to something clever or am I supposed to be gawking at the topless females?

>>6703862
>if you get them, you probably don't have any friends
>if you payed the slightest attention in high school math class you probably don't have any friends

>>6704716
>Does that evaluate to something clever
those are famous equations (note for example the Maxwell equations on the thin one in the pink pants)
>am I supposed to be gawking at the topless females?
definitely yes

>>6704689
Back Into A Trash

>>6704768
*Back In A Trash

>>6704064
sauce pls?

>>6704687
"One thing I loved about Mandelbrot is that he gave himself a middle initial — it’s “Benoît B. Mandelbrot” — which he said doesn’t stand for anything. But it has to stand for something, right? My guess is the recursive “Benoît B. Mandelbrot.” Theories?"

(wired.com/2010/10/never-trend-away-jonathan-coulton-on-benoit-mandelbrot/)

>>6703862
I have one: Mathematicians

>BAZOOPER

How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

0,999...

>>6704685
underrated post

>>6704746
I was a popular kid in high school and I love maths. I corrected teachers, made myself such a geek in math class, and even after all that, I was one of the most social and popular kids in school.

>>6705075
you seem to be a very interesting guy.

>>6705125
A stupid one, and highschoolers praise stupidity. Picked up smoking at 14, was extremely short-tempered and burst out at teachers, had daily fights with the principal etc.

>>6704026
>I got obviously stupid statement proven wrong
>wahhhhh wahhhh wahhhhh

>>6703867
>(4+O)P=F*A*G^3/(G^2)-4P
4*P + O*P = ((F*A*G^3)/(G^3)) - 4*P
(O+8)*P = F*A*G
fail

The mathematician wanted to see how good his colleagues from other faculties are at math, so he tested all of them with a true/false question: "All odd other than one numbers are prime"
He went to the physicist:
>Well, 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, but 9 is not prime, so the statement is false!
He went to the chemist
>Well, lets see. 3 is, 5 is, 7 is, 9 isn't, 13 is... 9 is just an experimental error, so the statement is true.
He went to the biologist
>Well, 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is prime... The statement is true.
He went to the programmer.
>3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 7 is prime, 7 is prime, 7 is prime...
He went to the law major.
>2 is a prime, so the statement must be false.
He went to the engineer.
>Are you the guy who answered my craigslist ad?

>>6706230
fuck why do I always forget that spoiler tags don't work on /sci/

>>6706230
>All odd other than one numbers are prime
What about -1, retard? Back to skool.

>>6703943
>being this autistic

>>6704685
Kek
There was a thread with engineers being huge cock sucking faggots. Anyone got link?

>>6704689
> mfw only virgins understand this joke

I've LOLed at all these jokes.

The joke about the law major is deep. Nice.

>>6704324

But...but...I wanted to add things.

Food distribution.
Crop rotation: ditto.
Mendelian inheritance for plant husbandry.

Relationships;
Using a car or bus or bike to visit kith or kin.

>>6704746
>>6705075
Yeah, someone's jealous. Jealousy is so boring.

>>6706244
Urgh, fine
"All odd numbers greater than 2"
Happy?

>>6706297
> mfw I understand that joke and I'm not a virgin

>>6706700
>mfw I absolutely don't care of yfw

Not a joke, per-se, but I know a simple math limerick.

A dozen, a gross, and a score,
Plus three times the square root of four,
Divided by seven,
Plus five times eleven,
Equals nine squared and not a bit more.

(((12 + 144 + 20) + (3 * sqrt(4))) / 7) + (5 * 11) = 9^2 + 0

>>6706719
Apologies for not using the LATEX feature of this board, I don't post here very often and I'm not sure of the syntax and whatnot.

sci needs more limericks

Watch this

>>6706739
That's adorable.

>>6703929
So you can't simplify x^2 + y^2?

>>6706297
You mean to say they'll no longer understand it after they have sex?

>>6706739
I swear to god man, fucking asians...

>>6704689
Banach and Tarski walk into a bar.
"One beer, please"

>>6704685
Why are all engineers considered to be cock-sucking faggots ?
Not that I give a fuck, just curious

>>6706823
Engineering schools are known for having a low female attendance rate.

>>6706862
why

>>6706862
ahem sqrt((-shit)^2))

>>6706877
You have one more parenthese than you should.

>>6706800

>>6706862
assuming <span class="math">shit \in Z^{-}[/spoiler]

a man meets a logician, whose wife just gave birth to a child. he asks him "congrats, is it a girl or a boy?" - "yes"

Two men walk into a bar with the aim of having a drinking contest.
"I'll have a glass of H2O." The first man says.
"I'll have a glass of H2O too." The second man says.
Needless to say, the first man won.

>>6706935
Two men walk into a bar with the aim of having a drinking contest.
"I'll have a glass of H2O." The first man says.
The second man says "Why are you saying H2O ? I know we're scientists but you can say water like everyone else."
The first man is angry his murder attempt failed

>>6707851
Two men walk into a bar with the aim of having a drinking contest.
"I'll have a glass of H2O." The first man says.
The second man says "I'll have a glass of H2O too."
The bartender gives them both a glass of water because what kind of bartender would have hydrogen peroxide on him?

An economist, a statistician and a logician from are on an overseas holiday bus tour of New Zealand. They drive past a field and spot a black sheep.
The economist remarks: "Oh look, all sheep in New Zealand are black!"
The statistician remarks: "No, at least one sheep in New Zealand is black."
The logician remarks: "More precisely, at least one flank of one sheep in New Zealand is black."

>>6703862
2 Cauchy sequences are heading to a nightclub, once arrived at the door they're all happy : it's a "no limit" themed party. But the bouncer won't let them pass : "sorry it's complete".


Don't know if it's sound good in english or if my translation is good. But in french i find it pretty funny.

Also do you know an anagram of banach-tarski ?

(answer : banach-tarski banach-tarski )

>>6707880

Turns out I'm a logician.
I would also point out, though, that we can safely assume the other flank is black, given that we know the base rate of sheep whose flanks are the same colour.

Further, that the first sheep we observed is black is highly unlikely unless most sheep are black. However, given how cheap it is to observe a second sheep, we should reserve judgment until we do so.

math is already a joke

you needn't go further thn tha

>>6706294
>Anyone got link?
Yes, it's called google.

>>6707940
I meant, do you have the 4chan screenshot of those jokes?

>>6708030
hi hello I do

>>6708030
and this

>>6707895
>2 Cauchy sequences are heading to a nightclub, once arrived at the door they're all happy : it's a "no limit" themed party. But the bouncer won't let them pass : "sorry it's complete".
wut am i reading here? this makes absolutely no sense beyond throwing in a bunch of words associated with convergence.

>>6707915
you dont sound like a logician at all. you sound like someone from probability, and im not talking theory either.

>>6708055
>>6708058
all of those are absolutely dreadful.

>>6708097
I'm a bit disappointed. 4chan trolling can be a lot funnier than this. But anyway...
>implying probability isn't logical

>>6708094
pleb can't speak french.
The joke is good in french, but doesn't work in english

>>6706935
>>6707851
>>6707869
Haha, I always liked the first one but these variants are good

>>6707895
ahahah la traduction pourrite

>>6708138
im not trolling. no self-respecting logician cares about probability over actual logic.

>>6708144
i do understand a bit of french, but how am i supposed to realize this was worse-than-google-translated from french?

>>6708105
found the engineer

>>6708393
nah, math. those are still worse than /b/ dan threads.

A proton and a neutron walk into a bar and the proton "I'm Position!"

>>6708175
*pourrie
Respecte-toi s'il-te-plait.

>>6708446
>it was, you know, on purpose


Also, I like this one

What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?

Nothing. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.

>>6708388
If that's so then I have to add 'self-respect' to the list of things that are poisonous to thinking in straight lines. Without probability logic has ~zero useful applications. If you're not trolling you're ignorant. Also you might know that bare assertions should not convince anyone of anything.

But anyway, 0/10 troll, fuck this, I'm not distracting from the jokes again.

>>6708834
yeah right, like its not you whos trolling here

pi is rational.

>>6708834
>Without probability logic has ~zero useful applications
cause its totally not like np-hardness was first characterized by a propositional logic problem or like anyone who ever has to solve such a problem optimally usually does it using SAT-solvers!