/sci/ - Science & Math

That sounds nothing like Richard Dawkins. Or anyone else, for that matter. Sage for unfunny cancer.

>>6113448

>>6113443
Dawkins doesn't talk like that, and what ever happened to to subtility? this pic is equivalent to just writing
>If you donth have faith in god with no evidence, why do you have faith in string theory with no evidence? #rekt #athists0 #god1

Fix your fucking second sentence you autistic retard.

>>6113462
>Fix your fucking second sentence you autistic retard.
>and what ever happened to to subtility?

There are levels of irony here... that you just don't understand

>>6113494
i dont see any irony.

>>6113462
Yes, that's the trick. The best fake quotes are just on the edge of being believable.

>>6113497
It's because you haven't yet considered that all science is a fake conspiracy because 9/11 was done by the scientists who plan to marklar ¿? MARKLAR ¿¿

>>6114709
This one is gold.

Why does he look like such a pedo, satanist to me?

>>6114709
but that's the thing. The OP doesn't sound believable at all. I read the quote before the OP and immediately knew it wasn't a legitimate quote.

This one's pretty good though

>>6113443

>>6113443
OP you are fucking stupid fuck you fuck you fuck you

Nobody would fall for that picture.

an idea i head for a while. not sure if i got the wording believable.

I don't know if it's good enough.

>>6115159
This is interesting. I don't think that earth is center of the universe, but it kind of seems that we think universe is only 13.7bil lightyears big, when actually that's just what our radiowaves can maximally detect?

my favorite

>>6115266
This is based on a misconception. 13.8 billion years is the age of the universe. In a universe with a stable size. It would be true that the observable universe had a radius of 13.8 billion lightyears. Our universe is at the moment expanding with about a speed of 3 times the speed of light. Henceforth the objects we see now are much further away than they were when the light was emitted. The observable universe has at this moment a radius of about 46 billion lightyears.

One of my all time favorites.

>>6116884
Lol

Post the Dawkins one about monkeys.

This one is my favorite. Top drawer stuff.

>>6116884
a classic

>>6117021
hahaha

>>6115257
Why do people have such a problem with the "gravity pulls light" thing when it is made clear in the simplest physics education that everything, regardless of mass, is pulled by gravity at the same speed using the bowling ball and baseball example?

You guys are fucking shit at this

>>6115318
pure gold

Not exactly my idea. I took another person's concept and redid the text with adjusted grammar and white-outline.

a really good one will be a deepity:
having one trivially true meaning and one obviously false meaning

and then there's the ones that sound true for a half a second, like
>>6116884

>>6114894
I almost guarantee the hardcore religious people you see in comments sections online would read OP's quote and immediately believe it and start calling dawkins a hypocrite

>>6117137
more black science man pls

>>6117139

hahaha. i can hear this coming out of jobs's mouth

>>6117137
Jesus, that one's fucking hilarious

>>6117050
What's this? I've never heard of this. Also, as far as I know, gravity only affects things with mass.

>>6117161
Lol

>>6117161
topkek

>>6117021
I could actually see Richard D. Feinman doing this.

>>6117243
*Feynman

>>6115336
>expanding with about (...) 3 times the speed of light
I'm an ignorant egress from /g/, what the fuck is this?

>>6117050
cuss nigga light do b have mass but de aint believe dat shit yo cuss light speed and shit dog

>>6113443
This is /sci/, I can't understand why you guys are doing this. Why are you helping to spread ignorance?

>>6117262
>implying people don't troll on /sci/

>>6117264
These images are going to spread.
Doing this is like making atom bombs for the American military and believing they would not be used.

>>6117262
/sci/ is basically just for people who are kind of good at math but not good enough to do anything important to sit around making fun of people who know less than they do to make them feel better about themselves.

>>6117262
Good. Maybe it will teach some people to research their shit first before excepting what they see on the internet.

>>6117249
So first off you need to know that because of the nature of existence (at least our current understanding) multiplying the speed of light by the time since the big bang wouldn't really have any significance.

So then the question becomes "What do we mean when we refer to an edge of the observable universe?" The answer is that I don't know, but I know it requires an understanding of relativity, would be too complex to easily explain satisfiably to you over 4chan, and that it's related to the fact that spacetime is curved. I do however know that supposedly the distance to the edge of the observable universe remains static no matter where you are in the universe, I just don't understand how that works.

>>6117272
>excepting
It won't teach them shit if they don't know they're wrong.

>>6117273
What is disturbing me is "expanding at three times the speed of light".

>>6117279
Don't worry, the distance between you and any one point in the universe is not increased faster than the speed of light. I'm not sure what that poster was referring to, but he might just be dividing the size of the observable universe by the time since the big bang, which since spacetime is curved wouldn't make sense.

In relativity stuff gets very fucked up and it becomes hard to explain things in terms of words that work at our scale light velocity or even time. These don't work the way we intrinsically feel they do.

>>6117222
>pretending you understand anything at all

>>6117265

one of my friends actually quoted the more stars thing to me in a matter-of-fact tone once. he even said, "yeah anon, your hero neil degrasse tyson said that." i was speechless. my hand instinctively raised and i was ready to give him a bitch slap so hard, you would have actually thought he was trying to hide my money from me. but i resisted. the anger built within me slowly subsided but my cold stare was still fixed upon his ignorant soul while my face remained completely emotionless. i slowly sipped my beer and walked away. true story. i kid you not.

>>6117279
The universe is expanding. And the further away you go, the faster it is going away from us. And every observer at every point in the universe would observe this. Stuff sufficiently far away will expand away at speeds in excess of the speed of light, at which point they become impossible to observe. This doesn't contradict general relativity because the speed limit only applies to things moving IN spacetime. It imposes no limits on the movement of spacetime itself.

>>6117296
http://curious.astro.cornell.edu/question.php?number=575

I'm trying to digest this now.

>>6117289
>missing the joke
Let me help you. Most everyone posted here is a very smart person who has made important contributions to their field or to the understanding of their field. They are known as people who get things right. These quotes then are funny because they are so ludicrously far off from what anyone would ever really say.

Deepak Chopra however, is not like the rest. He's more than an idiot, he's a king among idiots. In fact he might actually be a smart liar, but I think he just literally believes the bullshit he says. Anyway, the joke of this quote photo is that all of these quotes are so far from what the people would actually say, so I don't understand what was quoted, and the person you replied to probably also doesn't, we do know that Deepak definitely doesn't understand it and would never say anything like what's quoted.

>>6117279
the expansion of space is not limited by the speed of light

>>6117289
Thats not exactly hard shit. even if you do not know the precise meaning, youll know the general idea with even an intro to SUSY and ST cource.

>>6117249

While special relativity constrains objects in the universe from moving faster than the speed of light with respect to each other, it places no theoretical constraint on changes to the scale of space itself. It is thus possible for two objects to be stationary or moving at speeds below that of light, and yet to become separated in space by more than the distance light could have travelled, which can suggest the objects travelled faster than light. For example there are stars which may be expanding away from us (or each other) faster than the speed of light, and this is true for any object that is more than approximately 4.5 gigaparsecs away from us. We can still see such objects because the universe in the past was expanding more slowly than it is today, so the ancient light being received from these objects is still able to reach us, though if the expansion continues unabated there will come a time that we will never see the light from such objects being produced today (on a so-called "space-like slice of spacetime") because space itself is expanding between Earth and the source faster than their light can reach us.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metric_expansion_of_space

>>6118570

wtf, this isn't what i uploaded

>>6114935
hahahahahah nice one

it's a shame I can't contribute

>>6113453

god damn I laughed

>>6119781

i'm gonna lose my shit when i see this posted on facebook

stop spreading disinformation fags
you're everything wrong with the world
What would sagan say about this thread?

>>6119812
"We never should have allowed idiots to use the internet."

>>6118553
shouldn't this be head to head, not head a head?

Hey guys where else should I post some of these pictures to, to get them circulating outside of /sci/?

>>6119773
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=iTcfX-PoWAM#t=1708

some michio kaku quotes are real

I don't enjoy spending my limited lifetime on spreading lies, as if there aren't enough.
I do enjoy going through this thread though.

>>6115318
LEL

>>6117050
That only demonstrates that things with different masses are accelerated at the same rate by gravity, but the idea is that they still have mass. That example is used to demonstrate Newton's second law, which breaks down when you talk about massless particles.

>>6115318
rustling my jimmies...........


You are just jelous of the glorious Engineer-master-race

>>6117231
This is wrong in every sense. /pol/ please

>>6119830
>it revolves around the earth and the earth is round

huh

>>6117302
>Since current cosmological theories state that the universe is infinitely big, then there certainly are a bunch of galaxies which are more than 4,200 megaparsecs away from each other -- in fact, an infinite number of them!

they don't say this on tv

>>6117161
http://www.wisdomofchopra.com/

>>6117118
this one's good

>>6117161
11/10

nobody said its all about science

fixed a typo

I love so many of these, it's the kind of thing that's plausible when posted on facebook or something.

>>6119781
>Dr Naruto

Lost it.

>>6119989
Stop using red text on multi-colored background.

>>6119997

>Richard Feinstein

lel

>>6113453
"Suck my dick bitch," Darwin whispered.

>>6120092

>>6120110
those wrinkles make me sick.

Based Dawkins

>>6120114

That's good fucking advice

>>6117021
That's great.

>>6119975

So how much energy would 5 kilograms of electrons give you?

>>6115336
mind=blow

>>6117033
Hey, no cheating! Didn't Asimov actually say that?

>>6120346

yeah he did.

also this thread is comedy cold. so many fukken saved in here.

>>6120310

Since a Coulomb is 6.24×10^18 electrons, and each electron rest mass is 9.11×10^-31 kg, then you get about 1 trillion (10^12) Coulombs of charge in about 5 kg.

That much charge is about 67 billion average lightning bolts at 15 C per bolt. It's also about as much charge as is held in 10000 of the world's largest battery pack, built in China, each of which would hold 36 MWh. Hence, if your 5 kg of electrons could be stored in those 10000 packs, the net power would by about 360 GWh, which is about 180 hours output from the Hoover Dam.

Since France has been measured to have a peak power usage of about 100 GW, let's say the average power is about half, so at 50 GW, your 5 kg of electrons could power all of France for about 7 hours on average. So it could power an entire city for a day, easily. Any city. Most cities, a week or more.

>>6114935
This is exactly the kind of thing he would say too.

>>6120395

Neat, thanks.

>>6117265
>Doing this is like making atom bombs

>>6114889
that actually seems about right

I want someone who has some way of contacting the misquoted people in this thread to show it to them, and also possibly record their reaction.

>>6121239
i MUST bump this thread.

>>6121314
>vial not seated on the base of the whateverthefuckit'scalled
I don't know why but that feels wrong

>>6121558
>Vial
sorry m8

No, it's correct, as long as the reaction isn't releasing a large amount of heat, you can lift the flask and swirl it gently.

>>6115416
>Sir Richard Darkknight

Lol

>>6121583
Yeah sorry I never liked chemistry except for anything to do with magnesium or bunsen burners.

>>6119781
Lost hard.

>>6117118
>implying that's not true

Some should troll I Fucking Love Science with these images. God I hate that page.

>>6122429
Since you asked...

>>6117118
google does that?

>>6117118
I wasn't aware that when you type exp(sin(log(47))) into google, it delivers the result before you're even done typing the expression. Brb, gonna check it out.

But seriously, there's a bit of a difference between predicting text searches and flat out computations.

>>6122574
Meant to quote >>6122516

Since I'm making an addendum anyway, even the text predict functionality google has doesn't give you "the" results, before you hit enter. It gives you "possible" results, which depend entirely on what string of letters you've put into the search bar up to that point. Google is fast, no doubt about it, but it's not time travel kind of fast.

>>6120797
to be fair, the Earth would have a charge

>>6113443
am i doin it rite

>>6123052
my sides

>>6117267
SPOT ON

>>6117272
because people are going to spend their every waking moment researching everything.

>is sex actually good for you?
>better have this lady wait for me for the next hour as I compare and contrast inconsistencies in peer reviewed papers on the beneficial effects of sex.

Forever socially inept

>>6119781
This one would be actually good if it didn't say "Dr Naruto" at the bottom... Someone want to fix it?

>>6123347
For some reason I thought this was a terrier in the thumbnail

>>6122216
>File: 1382987797594.jpg-(48 KB, 455x585, etymology of AC.jpg)
This could quite easily be a real quote, he does come out with some shite

>>6123377
That's funny, because it's ironic that he would be actually trying to explain it properly, and also funny because the half of it about the bulge on the other side is completely wrong.

>>6123395
Yeah I just copy pasted it from google, isn't the bulge on the other side to do with the centrifugal force as the earth spins? or is it god?

I love this thread..

>>6120395
>Being that enlightening to people who ask stupid questions
+1

>>6114935
>black science man

>>6117289
>implying any of this is difficult to understand

>>6121191
>hire several idiots to do my work
>I make more money
seems legit

>>6117050
Light does have mass...just not mass at rest aka. "rest mass"

He did actually say this kind of stuff

>>6122210
Oh god, I fucking laughed

>>6114709
not believable

>>6114889
>schocking

>mfw this thread

>>6115318
Fukken saved

>>6119781
lost it

>>6123337

Dr Naruto is what makes this gold

>>6124692
Dr Naruto is what makes this completely lose the little purpose the pic had.

>>6120346
He also said he never met someone he thought was more intelligent than him.

>>6124717
He was a feminist, therefore like 60% of the world was more intelligent than him.

>90 images
>no science_is_about_smoking_weed_and_looking_at_the_stars.jpg

/sci/ I am disappoint.

>>6124839
I can't tell if you want it or are just expressing disappointment at it's absence so far.

>>6124864
Both.

I'll dump the ones I made in the last thread

>>6124906

>>6124909

>>6124915

there you go

>>6124920
why did I laugh so hard at this

>>6117118
I can see this becoming the case as processing time of thousands of mathematical equations and indexing a cache of ultra complex equations becomes faster than internet speeds.

>>6113443

>I maek incorrect statement!!
>lol so funnay!!!!!! xDDD

>>6124121
Don't forget sodomy.

Coming from Freud, I wouldn't be surprised if he actually said this.

>>6114709
Wow Choam really let himself go.

>>6124121
Now I know why religion is so popular.

>>6124998
>I can see this becoming the case...
>I don't know how computers work

>>6115170
at an elevation of just a few kilometers - that's how a scientist would say it.

>>6126021

>>6122589
It does give you the result among a couple of others.

>>6126158

>>6122574
>>6122589

>>6126186
>suggestions are the same thing as results
Sure.

The most believable one in the whole thread

>>6126452
Google censors swearwords and what not, but whatever.

>>6126506
Whatever you say, google for brains.

>>6126524
Fair enough, I'm not necessarily defending Google, it's just that if you want to disprove something do it properly.

>>6126885
>two nebulae must come together

I can't tell if that's a joke or just ignorance.

>>6126984
Do you even know what kind of thread you're posting in?

Oh my fucking god I lost it, thank you so much

>>6127421
>guys, imagine if they had said these things
>lol so funny!

>>6127421
>omg so funny now I have to go suck sixteen cocks at once

>>6125183
HEY! THATS NOT RIGHT! aalewis said that, not whatever fag is in your pic!
>trying to steal someone else's quote

>>6117021
This is absolutely true. I own his autobiography.

>>6117243
*P.

>>6119768
>>6119773
>These are absolutely things this pedantic asshole would say

>>6120310
5 kgs of electricity? Well, let me get my E=mc^2 out.

447,005,000,000,000,000 joules of electricity.

>>6127457
>>6127546
Unfortunately I meant to reply to some one, and now it looks like I am posting in the general thread. This is quite unfortunate.
>>6124864
this was the one I meant to reply to, if you're curious. I do sincerely apologize good sirs for not only consuming your time with my mindless drivel that was completely pointless to state but also with this comment as well. I am sorry.

>>6114900
Why does this one make me laugh?

>>6127885
It's a great joke, even though it should be four since a single plural "billions" must be at least 2

>>6127885
same here, I can't stop laughing every time I see it.

>>6114935
But if everyone donated one penny we already know there would be 7 billion lol

>>6128215

checkmate atheists

>>6118540
fucken gold

imagine putting some of these on Religion vs. Creationism boards?
think of the mayhem created.

>>6119781
my fucking sides

>>6117104
>white-outline.

what sorcery is this

>>6123445

his answer is incorrect since there is no mention of voltage

>>6127838
go suck dick engineer.

loving this thread

>>6124717
That's a lie though m8

>>6123324
Well by your example that person would be lacking common sense and be socially inept.
Who doesn't know about sex, especially, if you are up to the point of about to have it?

>>6125523
You mean to say "Wow, Choam is really old."

tell me what you think about this

>>6127885
becasue sagans "dude what?" face

>>6114709
10/10

>>6128207
rofl

>>6130818
>>6130323


TIL that fake Michio Kaku is less crackpotish than the real one.

>>6128190
That's not true. The Earth's core only undergoes FISSION, not FUSION! Learn2science Einstein!

>>6127667
>ITT: fake quotes that sound like the person would actually say them

>>6130889

I'd advise you tale a look at some of the other pics.

>>6128190

would've been more believeable if anyone (black guy or probably Dr. Naruto) other than Einstein 'said' this

>>6124720
>political opinions immediately denounce one's intelligence

why do smart conservatives exist?

>bringing proper accomplished physicists into this

ISHYGDDT

This thread should just serve as a parody of pop-scientists, and of course as bait for their followers.

CAN WE GET RICHARD DAWKINS SAYING SOMETHING ABOUT SINCE HE INVENTED THE WORD MEME, HE THEREFORE INVENTED ALL MEMES, INCLUDING MEMES ABOUT DEMOTIVATIONAL POP-SCI QUOTES

thanks personal army,
sincerely anon

>>6127997
is that a real thing?

>>6124700
hahaha

>>6119781

I get the humor, but isn't it true? Or are we just overexaggerating it? I mean if I imagine a world made of marshmallows or shit, who's to say there isnt one in a parallel universe?

Who's this weeb Mitchie Cock you keep quoting and what's the problem with him?

>>6131233
>>6131682
Thanks for contributing folks.

>>6132954
>>6132889
>>6132414

you do understand that he says crazier & stupider shit during his numerous interviews, right? you're not pushing this far enough.

>all these fucking people thinking the point is "famous figures saying silly things"
>not realising the point is to make it as believable as possible while being subtly ridiculous

HAHA I GET IT CARL SAGAN SAID "THERE IS TWO STARS IN UNIVERSE" HAOGJAOHAOEGHAOEG

>>6114900
It would be funnier if it said pi instead.

>>6117137
It's true though. lol

>>6117267
Sounds about right.

>>6115266
It's interesting and also very correct.

The observable universe is what we can observe, and we can only observe things 13.8billion lightyears away, the age of the universe. So from Earth we can observe in a sphere around us, with a radius of 13.8b lightyears.

if u get me m8

>>6132988
Where do you think >>6132414 is from? That one is more or less the analogy he made here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X02WMNoHSm8

>>6133068
>making fun of people who know less than they do to make them feel better about themselves
Try making fun of vapid fanfucks, who know jack shit, yet latch on to whoever they perceive as a genius, in an attempt to seem intelligent by proxy.

>>6119828
I'll be riding my way to the front page with these on imgur

>>6133108
lol

>>6133108
This one actually looks believable.

>>6133091
A lot of them wouldn't make it far, as it's blatantly obvious they are fakes. I hope you have a good eye for picking out the more believable ones. Anyway, I have no idea how to go about disseminating these. Never really had an intention to also. I just make some and if any of the more socialist media-savy anons want to use them to prank someone, by all means. Spread some merriment around.

>>6114709
10/10, made me feel better

>tfw this is legit
>all of my what

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tT1vxEpE1aI

>>6133228
Hahahaha… hope he changes his fecal-related name to "Dr. Crank"

>>6115318
I don't get it.

>>6133265
lel

>>6133078

It is not. See this here >>6115336

>>6133497
#1

>>6133571
top kek

>>6129053
God damn it, is it that obvious?

>>6133108
Some one should send this to reddit and see how many of them fall for it.

>>6133278
>I don't get it.
Engineers suck cocks. No exceptions.

Bump for the eternal glory of scientific truth.