/sci/ - Science & Math

You would fucking die.

>>6020579
depends upon the lava. its temperature can vary by several thousand degrees

Probably burn its way through, cauterizing, until enough of its energy had dissipated that it just sits there inside. The person would likely pass out from shock, but depending on the exact path taken by the blob they might be able to survive with prompt medical attention and a new intestine. They'd still be pretty fucked.

>>6020582
lets say it is like medium level lava. so. I just looked up the temp and it goes from 700 - 1200 degrees Celsius. So lets say it is 1000 degrees.

>>6020579
I happen to be an expert on this topic.

It would hurt.

Cut the burned section and bypass.

Due to the small amount of lava involved (~4.9ml), I believe that while the injuries would be severe, the lava would cool quickly enough that the body would not be ruined.

>>6020588
what's the viscosity?

>>6020595
Define ruined.

>>6020599
Medium...whatever that means. I am on here because i am no lava expert. Imagine it is perfectly average lava.

you'd go to a japanese school for crippled children full of sex and life-affirming relationships

>>6020579
>This is real..not a troll. Please. I need to know how bad this would be.
> Please. I need to know how bad this would be.
> I need to know how bad this would be.
> I need to know
> I need
> need

OP, define "need"?

>>6020619
>Implying Katawa Shoujo isn't an absolute blessing

>>6020623
Okay. i do not need it that way.
The question I posed to my friend was, "How much money to pour it in, hypothetically?"

his answer: $1000

My response: OH! you have made a mistake! Too low! your anus will be ruined, and your life forever altered!

Did he make a good choice? He claims that although his price is a little low, it is not as bad as I claim it to be.

>>6020633
>OH! you have made a mistake! Too low! your anus will be ruined, and your life forever altered!
Sound like a gigantic fagit.

>>6020649
Define gigantic. Faggot.

>>6020654
>0

>>6020633
you have some stupid friends

>>6020633
>My response: OH! you have made a mistake! Too low! your anus will be ruined, and your life forever altered!

>>6020633
>OH! you have made a mistake! Too low! your anus will be ruined, and your life forever altered!

>>6020579
You're really going to be butthurt.

Okay, but does anyone here know what, like, a molten metal burn is like? Does anyone have experience with something like that and can help us extrapolate the exact effects of molten rock?

like would it be 3rd degrees burns, or unimaginable malformations? What type of damage are we talking about here?

>>6020633
what would happen is it would burn through your anus, destroying everything in its path until it cools down enough to pool up (with the small amount of lava wouldnt be much) and your intestines will have a shortcut all the way up to your stomach and maybe beyond. so just imagine how much it would cost to stitch up/graft all the holes left in your intestines and probly your stomach by the lava. then add on more for every vital organ possibly hit (kidneys for example) which would easily double the price since you'll need replacements

tl;dr
it wil cost a shit load more than $1000

>>6020696
>would it be 3rd degrees burns, or unimaginable malformations?
it would melt your flesh and bone until it cools down. and even then the unmelted areas would pool up and spread the lava

>>6020704
Or $0 in Canada.

>>6020709
>unmelted
i meant uncooled

>>6020711
if you dont mind waiting a week

>>6020711
i interperated the question as the cost of medical procedures rather than the amount you'd actually pay

>>6020579
>What exactly would happen to a person if a teaspoon of lava was dropped into someones upturned anus.

Third degree internal rectal burns also burns to surrounding tissue. possibly Lethal, definitely unplesant, definitely weeks in hospital, quite likely you'd need a colostomy.

Unless the rectum is full of shit at the time, then you could probably just get away with a relatively low level of anal devastation

>>6020704
It would carbonize the tissue and not pierce very far.

But you'd be butthurt for sure.

>>6020721
>Unless the rectum is full of shit at the time
you'd have boiling shit inside your anus. i would assume the effects would be even worse and you'd have a huge chance of infection

Clearly no one knows and you're going to have to experiment.
It's what science is all about, OP.

Don't forget to document your experiments with pictures. Also, don't forget to post them here as proof. You know, for analysis.

>>6020725
Imagine the shit first boiling and then all the water evaporating and him being left with hard ass shit mixed with rock from the cold lava. Shit would suck.

>>6020728
Shit would stuck, bro.

>>6020728
now imagine trying to pass it through your, already mutilated, anus

>>6020725
Boiling expends energy, so you'd be farting steam, the evacuated anal vapors would carry heat away too.

Also, consider that lava have less specific heat than water by a factor of ~4 or so, and we're talking about a teaspoon here it could cool sufficently to only limit the damage done to the rectal mucosa, as opposed to carbonizing the tissue and burning the surroundings too.

>>6020731
You'd have to have it surgically removed, but your colon would be fucked.

>>6020725
>you'd have boiling shit inside your anus.

>>6020722
related
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ImU1a9KHXM

Apparently the specific heat capacity of lava is 1600J/kg*C
And it can be up to 100,000x as viscous as water.
I could not find the enthalpy of fusion so I'll assume it's negligible (it's not).
There's about 5 mL in a teaspoon so let's call it 5 grams. You're gong to have to cool it down to 37* (body temperature)
So we're looking at 7.7kj of energy. slightly less than the amount of energy you consume in a day. 1 Watt is 1J/S, let's say it'll take oh 10 seconds to get were it's going. So 770 watts.
It wouldn't kill you. Maybe burn your rectum but certainly not right through it

>>6020723
if ya'll throw in enough for the thousand dollars, well then my friend might be willing.

>>6020749
>>6020722
This is really good information. Thank you.

>>6020722
Are you implying that his anus would be coated with a layer of diamond? OPs friend would be rich.

What would happen if a sun made of lava collided with a sun made of internal organs at 99.9999...% of the speed of light???????????????????????????????

>>6020749
I love how you find all kind of wierd experiments on youtube
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fcz3vBdI7Nc

>>6020633
>OH! you have made a mistake! Too low! your anus will be ruined, and your life forever altered!

Fag.

>>6020786
Not enough pressure to make diamonds

Have you ever seen third degree burns from boiling water? I would imagine it would be akin to that, but worse by 10 fold.

>>6020579
Seeing that lava is mostly sand(it makes ashy glass/obsidian)
Your friend would burn his asshole out.
If he didn't die from bleeding, he'd lose around 100cm^3 of body mass.

Please tell your friend to put a spoonfull of heated sand, molten glass shards up his ass for 4chan, burn his asshole out and record it.
4chan needs OC badly.
He'd need a new colon..
It wouldn't get that far actually...seeing the small amount, viscosity and thermal conductivity of the spoon.

Sorry my patience wont let me read through all the posts.

A quick way to determine the level of damage would be to calculate the thermal energy resident in your teaspoon of lava (given by mass (density / volume) and temperature), and then compare that with how much energy is needed to bring, say 1 gram, of water from 37 degrees to boiling. The body is mostly water, remember! Then just add up until you reach the amount of energy in the lava, and you got your amount of boiled water!

If you get several litres the local damage will be severe. And if you get 100 litres, well, then you're pretty dry all right.

>>6020841

what about graphene

perhaps graphene is made of lava and ass

>>6021158
>scientists find a practical use for fisting

>>6020794
this fucking rocks

>>6021105

>you're pretty dry all right.

Hehehe.

As >>6020770 pointed out, we'd have about 7700 kJ on our hands. Water at 25°C has a specific heat capacity of 4,181 kJ/(kg K). So we have 1841 kgK of Temperature Mass(or whatever that quantity is called) to spread across your rectal area(here modelled by a reservoir of water at 37°C). With that, you can bring 29 kgs of water from 37°C to 100°C: basically your entire abdomen.
Important to consider here is however that the heat wouldn't be spread uniformly. Significant amounts would boil away and evaporate, something which would probably make up most of the use of heat. The boiling capacity(or whatever that's called. The ammount of energy required to bring a certain mass of water at 100°C completely from liquid to gas phase) of water is 2230 kJ/kg. So now, let's look at how much water you can bring from 37°C to 100°C, then to evaporate, and then to 200°C(to model what happens to the most ravaged part of your anus). The heat capacity of steam at 100°C is 2.080kJ/kgK. With 7700kJ you can bring about 1.683 kg of your anus to 200°C steam, a significantly smaller part of anus. So you're still completely fucked, but you might survive.

I've been watching this thread tonight and I'd just like to say to everyone who has contributed...You all are awesome.

So, because this is 4chan; posting in an epic thread!

>>6020633
Holy shit your friend is cheap.
He could make more money selling is healthy anus and it would be less painful.

>>6020579
You'd have a painus in yo anus.

>>6020794
An answer to the oldest question in science...

>>6020794
Fascinating, it really demonstrates the fact that lava doesn't transmit its heat very quickly at the interface.

Here's another hypothetical question. If there was a wire one atom thick that cut through the body and removed one layer of atoms, what would happen to that person.

>>6021594
Nothing. The smallest width you would require to see something noticeable would be around 1µm. [Citation needed]

Figure out how much water that much lava can boil. Remove approximately that much anus. That's roughly the damage done, to within a half order of magnitude or so.

best thread on /sci/ in months

WE CAN ONLY THEORIZE HERE
WE NEED PRACTICAL RESULTS

SOMEBODY FIND A GUY DUMB ENOUGH TO POUR LAVA ON HIS ANUS
FOR SCIENCE

>>6020586
lold

> Liquid tungsten is so hot, if you dropped it into a lava flow, the lava would freeze the tungsten.

That person would have a nice third degree burn on their anus. However, lava cools relatively quickly, it depends on the volume (and a teaspoon is tiny)

Unsurprisingly, Japan has the answer:

http://sciencelinks.jp/j-east/article/200207/000020020702A0091443.php

So: painful, absolutely. Long recovery ahead, definitely. Lethal? Unlikely. Though he might wish he were.

some rocks melt at only a little over blood temperature

>>6021565

What if a teaspoon of lava and a teaspoon of ice were dropped into your anus?

>>6020738
>you'd be farting steam, the evacuated anal vapors would carry heat away too.

The gases wouldn't necessarily go straight up through your now sizable butt cavity, especially if the molten rock/buttpaste mixture is still blocking the way. In fact, the steam would probable cause more of your anus to cave in and widen as it escapes through the surrounding soft, relatively cool, pliable flesh.

>>6022297

You make it sound very tempting. Can I substitute molten lead for lava?

>>6021594
>here was a wire one atom thic

it would cause cancer

>>6022273
WHAT IF A SUN OF ASS AND A SUN OF LAVA COLLIDED?

>>6022321

OHMYGOD!!! THAT SHOULD BE A THREAD OF ITS OWN!!!

>>6021198
What about the anal conductivity?

yah this thread doesn't belong on /sci/

the only answer based on the criteria given is that it would suck

>>6020579
the severity of bodily damage depends greatly on whether it is just the anus that is upturned, or is the entire person upturned. Because you could simply remove the anus and turn it opposite of the direction it usually faces. then drop the lava

That feel when you realise people have been burnt alive in lava at some point in human history.

>>6020602
Still able to take a dick

>Meanwhile in 4chan laboratory of science and engineering...

Scientist 1:Hey what would happen if we put lava in someones anus?
Scientist 2: Gee I dont anon, lets apply the scientific method and find out

>>6020605
the damage would be mediocre - speaking in lava terms and seeing how it is just average lava.

>>6023139
To the lab!!

>>6020633

why do you talk like fucking speed racer