/sci/ - Science & Math

The bartender says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve tachyons here."

...
Two tachyons walk into a bar.

String theory

One evening, with his charge at full capacity, Micro Farad decided to get a cute coil to discharge him. He went to the Magnet Bar to pick up a chip called Millie Amp. He caught her out back trying self induction; fortunately, she had not damaged her solenoid. The two took off on his megacycle and rode across the Wheatstone Bridge into a magnetic field, next to a flowing current , to watch the sine waves.

Micro Farad was very much stimulated by Millie's characteristic curve. Being attractive himself, he soon had her field fully excited. He set her on the ground potential, raised his frequency, lowered her resistance, and pulled out his high voltage probe. When he inserted it in parallel, he short-circuited her shunt. Fully excited, Millie cried out, "ohm, ohm, give me mho". As he increased his tube to maximum output, her coil vibrated from the current flow. It did not take long for her shunt to reach maximum heat. Now with the excessive current shortening her shunt, Micro's capacity rapidly discharged – every electron was drained off. But that was not the end of it. Indeed, they fluxed all night, tried various connections and hookings until his bar magnet weakened, and he could no longer generate enough voltage to sustain his collapsing field. With his battery fully discharged, Micro was unable to excite his tickler, so they went home. A few weeks later, they were merged forever and oscillated happily ever after.

This is not a joke.

This is sad.

Be sad.

>>5972653
>implying the individual ice crystals and droplets are visible from this distance

>>5972667
10/10 story.
Gave me a hadron.

>>5972670
> infinite probability

who the fuck comes up with this shit?

>>5972681
It was posted by I Fucking Love Science on facebook, so don't be too surprised

>>5972667
>>5972680
I fucking love science.

I jerk off to it every day.

>>5972659
>took five photos
Ever check out the ALSJ archives?

Tens of thousands of photos, hours of video.

>>5972653
>facebook filename
>>5972655
>facebook filename
>>5972659
>facebook filename
>>5972663
>facebook filename
>>5972664
>facebook filename
>>5972666
>facebook filename
>>5972670
>facebook filename
>>5972672
>facebook filename
>>5972675
>facebook filename
>>5972678
>facebook filename

>>5972780
>hours of video.
they used film, not video

>>5972784
this isn't /b/

>>5972798
Which is exactly why you shouldn't post this kind of shit here. Please fuck off, tardlord.

Classic

God the cancer here. Glad Im actually intelligent, smarter than you, YEAH YOU READING THIS, I am smarter than you, and if you knew my credintials (top of class at UC berkley, PHD in physics and math, know doing ground breaking research, colleagues predicting a noble prize) you would shake in your boots

>>5972676
I'm not evil. I'm a mad scientist.

>>5972865
Joke's on you. I'm barefoot.

>>5972873
[X] TOLD

>lesofunaymeemee the thread

>>5972653
this thread is just cringy :/
/sci/ is kinda like reddit's atheism

>>5972676

ITT "I fucking love science" facebook page

>>5973022
that feel when its true why couldn't questions be more straightforward?

>>5973027
Because it's not biology

>>5972676
Hue.

>>5973022
>do again in a universe wher hbar=epsilon_0
Every time.

>>5973036
I'm taking physics 1 this semester I don't get the joke

>>5972676
>>5973032
Heh.

>>5973018
The facebook page actually has some interesting links every now and then, for actual science related news. I just find it funny though how stupid pictures and silly cartoons can get 100,000+ likes whereas anything that is remotely science related (in the fields of astronomy, physics, chemistry, biology, and so on) get around 20,000 likes and oftentimes less. Check out this gem I found.

I have to say, OP is the dumbest person I have had the displeasure to have come across*. Simple algebra problems baffle you, and you have no decent understanding of math. It makes me sick to see such a single anti-intellectual individual. Now I know what you'll say, you'll say that I am in fact an idiot. But let me prove you faggot wrong. Firstly, I took an IQ test when I was 14 and scored a 170. I guess that is relatively* high, but I don't think it warrants to much gawking over, because* IQ is not an accurate measure of intelligence. Let me tell you about how my credentials completely wipe the intellectual table with you goddam faggot. I was top of my class at UC Berkley*, a very prestigious* school, among the best in the world. I finished my PhDs in 2 years total, not each. I have a Phd in math and theoretical physics. Not only would you not be able to complete a Phd program like me, you wouldn't even be able to finish your undergrad at a community college, you worthless idiot. To make things worse for you fucking inferior creature, I'm* currently working on a breakthrough* theory (I would explain, but you are intelligent enough to understand), that is going to change physics as we know it. It unites all of the forces into a complete theory of everything. I'm* likely going to win a nobel* prize. Now in the face of such a superior, I wonder how your sorry ass will try to defend your inferiority.

>>5973058
Well at least the french hoi polloi is asking questions.

>>5973060
>that vague as fuck criticism

>>5973066
Doesn't that Russian experiment with domesticated foxes basically prove macro-evolution, or at least give signs that its highly likely?

>>5973064
Thats because the way "scientists are ___" is worded makes it a statement rather than a question.

>>5973082
True.
How wow it sounds like anglo speakers worry about their scientists.

>>5972676
I got snobs, atheists, and liars.

i cri evertim ;-;

>scientists are responsible for the evil of our time

yep, we're cool

>>5972676
and why not a spanish ver

>>5973128
Well if you are honest, then it's true

>>5973136
bloody germans with your rationalism and your fancy campuses

>>5973050
h bar = planck's constant over 2pi. Epsilon 0 = vacuumpermittivity. It's basically replacing one constant arbitrarily with another, more annoying constant.

>>5973160
>fancy campuses
I don't want to see yours then.

>>5972784
>>5972809
Oh what a surprise !
There is no more OC on 4chan !

Deal with it.

>inb4 shyggy diggy doo
>forced memes and shit

>/b/ is dead. No more oldfags. newfags suck.

a classic

A man is flying in a hot air ballon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: "Excuse me, can you help me? I was supposed to meet a friend 30 mins. ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man below says: "Yes. You are in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42 degrees N. latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees W. longitude."

"You must be an engineer." says the balloonist.

"I am." replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost."

The man below says "You must be a manager."

"I am." replies the balloonist. "How did you know?"

"Well", says the man. "You don't know where you are, or where you are going. You have made a promise which you have no idea how to keep and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are in the exact same position you were in before we met, but now it is somehow MY fault."
Why was Heisenberg's wife unsatisfied?

When he had the time he didn't have the energy, and when he had the position, he didn't have the momentum.
So, Wener Heisenberg is out driving fast as shit when a cop pulls him over. The policeman says: "Do you have ANY idea how fast you were going?"
Heisenberg replies: "No, but I know exactly where I was."

>>5973209
One summer, an engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician were vacationing in England. Wanting to see the countryside, they boarded a train and were staring out the window when the train passed a single sheep grazing in the field.

The engineer promptly remarked, "I see the sheep in England are black."

To which the physicist replied, "No, sir. What we know is that this single sheep is black."

To which the mathematician angrily corrected, "No, you fools! What we know is that there is one sheep in England and one half of it is black."
A biologist, a mathematician, and a engineer are sitting by an empty building. Two people enter, then shortly after, 3 walk out. The engineer remarks, 'We must have miscounted', The biologist remarks 'They must have multiplied. The mathmetician thinks, and remarks 'If one more person goes in, the building will be empty again.'
Mathematician, Physicist, Engineer walking through a field come upon a farmer.

The farmer asks what is the best way to construct a fence that will contain his livestock (ie., most area for least perimeter). The physicist does some calculus and concludes that the best way to do this is a square fence. The engineer looks at him and laughs. "No, the best way is a circle". The physicist concedes and they start building the fence.

The mathematician just sits there for a while and eventually stands up, puts a small piece around himself and says "I declare myself to be outside"


Werner Heisenberg, Kurt Godel and Noam Chomsky walk into a bar.
Heisenberg looks around the bar and says, "Because there are three of us and because this is a bar, it must be a joke. But the question remains, is it funny or not?"

And Godel thinks for a moment and says, "Well, because we're inside the joke, we can't tell whether it's funny. We'd have to be outside looking at it."

And Chomsky looks at both of them and says, "Of course it's funny. You're just telling it wrong."

Anyone There?


An engineer and a topologist were locked in the rooms for a day with a can of food but without an opener. At the end of the day, the engineer is sitting on the floor of his room and eating from the open can: He threw it against the walls until it cracked open. In the mathematician's room, the can is still closed but the mathematician has disappeared. There are strange noises coming from inside the can... When it is opened and the mathematician crawls out. "Damn! I got a sign wrong..."
A Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer and a Departmental Manager were on their way to a meeting. They were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes on their car failed. The car careened almost out of control down the road, bouncing off the crash barriers, until it miraculously ground to a halt scraping along the mountainside. The car's occupants, shaken but unhurt, now had a problem: they were stuck halfway down a mountain in a car with no brakes. What were they to do?

"I know," said the Departmental Manager, "Let's have a meeting, propose a Vision, formulate a Mission Statement, define some Goals, and by a process of Continuous Improvement find a solution to the Critical Problems, and we can be on our way."

"No, no," said the Hardware Engineer, "That will take far too long, and besides, that method has never worked before. I've got my Swiss Army knife with me, and in no time at all I can strip down the car's braking system, isolate the fault, fix it, and we can be on our way."

"Well," said the Software Engineer, "Before we do anything, I think we should push the car back up the road and see if it happens again."

>>5972873
#SHOTSFIRED

>>5973074
>macro-evolution
...
"Macro-evolution" operates in the exact same way as "Micro-evolution", the only difference is the time scales involved.

What's the best way to observe the optic Doppler effect?


You go down to the streets at night and look at the cars.
While they are coming at you their lights are white and when they go away from you their lights are red.

>>5972865
>know

>>5973060
That argument lacks fundament, congruence and an objective.

A Sampling of Mathematical Folk Humor"
http://jcdverha.home.xs4all.nl/scijokes/

I like this one:
>Q: Why did the mathematician name his dog “Cauchy”?
>A: Because he left a residue at every pole.

Large collection of science jokes
http://jcdverha.home.xs4all.nl/scijokes/

Some comics: xkcd (apparently hated by /sci/, /g/ and /lit/), SMBC, Abstruse Goose, Spiked Math, PHD Comics

>>5973342
By the way, why do people focus on the bad, undesirable traits?

>>5973342
>xkcd (apparently hated by /sci/, /g/ and /lit/)
Why ? any *objective* reason to this ?

Or just the usual autistic behavior of 4chan fags ?

>>5973363
>any *objective* reason to this ?
"It's the Big Bang Theory of comics"

>>5973373
Basically this, it used to be good but it's too "popular" now. So no, no objective reason.

>>5973378
BBT used to be good?

>>5973384
Before whassaname got fat, it was good because hot chick.

Sara Gilbert is good though when she's in it.

>>5973363
because he is retarded. those calculations he does are usually built on extremely wrong assumptions (like the closet to Narnia into the ocean one)

>>5973390
hope you're trolling. I have the feeling that very few anons understand the word "irony".

>>5973378
>too "popular" now
ok, the usual thing. "old times, good times".

The very same for 4chan and /b/, for instance.
So few OC nowadays...
(*good* OC)

>>5973397
you are going to have to explain how using wrong equations, and then dressing it up as an interesting fact is irony.

do you even know what irony means?

>>5973416
this one
http://xkcd.com/969/ ?
well, the "title" attribute.

You're really too down-to-earth here.

Xkcd is a comic, not a science book. If you read at it like an student who wants to point "scientific errors", you're completely out of the subject.

Irony supposes that you're smart enough to figure out on your own what is wrong on *purpose*.

>>5973378
>hipster detected

>>5973493
uh no ? he explains the process ? He didn't say that is what he thinks.
>"So no, no objective reason."

What's wrong with you all ?

Heisenberg is speeding down the highway when a cop pulls him over. The cop walks up to his car and asks, "Do you know how fast you were going?" Heisenberg responds, "No...but I know where I am."

What did the gay test subject say to the world?

She wants to be found and she's paying out in acquired experimental military grade pharmaceuticals

43 degrees 80 degrees

/x/

>>5973512
>Heisenberg is speeding down the highway when a cop pulls him over. The cop walks up to his car and asks, "Do you know how fast you were going?" Heisenberg responds, "I AM THE DANGER!!' and clubs him to death with a 6 pound bag of crystal meth.

A thermodynamics professor wrote a take home exam for his graduate students. It had one question: "Is Hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with proof."

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: "First, we postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into Hell, and at what rate are souls leaving? I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for souls entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay constant.

1. So, if Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, than the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given me by Melissa Porter during our freshman year, and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then #2 cannot be true, and Hell is exothermic.

>>5972676
>scientists are all poor and illiterate
>responsibility of the scientists
>scientists work for the military
>scientists about faith

>>5973554
>scientists are all poor and illiterate
Welp I actually laughed out loud at that one.

>>5973532
The speed of light limits the expansion of Hell to cubic growth, so it cannot contain an exponential increase of souls forever.
Of course, the same holds for the human-inhabited volume of the Prime Material Plane, so the exponential growth of birth/death rates must break down eventually.

>>5973563
just like how the speed of light limits our universes expansion to cubic. right?
RIGHT?

A pastor, a doctor and an engineer wait for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumes, "What's with these guys? We've been waiting for 15 minutes!"

The pastor says, "Hey, here comes the groundskeeper. Let's have a word with him."

"Say, George, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?" the doctor asks.

The groundskeeper tells them that the other golfers are a group of blind firefighters who lost their sight saving the clubhouse from a fire and that they come and play for free whenever they want.

The group is silent for a moment.

The pastor says, "That's so sad. I will say a special prayer for them tonight."

The doctor says, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."

The engineer says, "Why can't these guys play at night?"

>>5973577
btw I tried telling the joke in the picture to a bartender while really drunk
Five surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work. The first said, "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is numbered."
The second said, "I think librarians are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is in alphabetical order."
The third said, "I like to operate on electricians. You open them up and everything inside is color-coded."
The fourth one said, "I like to operate on lawyers. They're heartless, spineless, gutless, and their heads and their butts are interchangeable."
Fifth surgeon said, "I like Engineers...they always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end..."

>>5972865
Overconfidence I sense, hyperbolic bullshit is in your post.
Seriously though, what's the research?

>>5973575
...yes? Thats what I said?

>>5973591
What a fag.

>>5973205
what book is that

>>5972661

good one

>>5973645
Linear Algebra, David C. Lay
Page 65

>>5973591
good, now that we know you know nothing about physics we can disregard your opinions.

>>5973293

>>5972676
Isn't Jack Horner doing something of the sort?

>>5972659
Nine I think?

>>5973032
>>5972676
hue x2

>>5973817

>>5973825

>>5972675
>>5972672
How are these even remotely scientific?

>>5973063

ur a poop face

>>5973840

I have a few saved from another thread, so here I go.

>>5973832
Biology.
Oceanography.
Life.

>>5973842

>>5973846

>>5973846
>is destiny
>is not destiny
That opposition.

>>5973847

>>5973840
>>5973842
>>5973846
>>5973847
>>5973848
Damn, nigga, those are some good jokes.
>>5973843
In that case, check out this joke picture about neurochemistry.

>>5973848

>>5973853
aaaand done

>>5973855

>>5973859

'for twats'

>>5973669
What's wrong with the image?

>>5973915
oh lel, I didn't know a "sheared sheep" meant "oveja esquilada" in spanish.

>>5972834
The limit joke should have x->8+.

>>5972834
That's not the correct limit. It depends if you're approaching from the positive or negative side.

>>5973928
>>5973933

Holy buttballs, you guys must be world-renowned mathematicians.

>>5973942
Everyone's thinking it, this guy is just saying it

A boy was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The boy took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to his pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the boy took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The boy said, "Look I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."

>>5973955
Where is the joke ?

>>5973942
>implying we're not

>>5973962
It's funny because it's true.

>>5973962
The joke is that he says he doesn't have time when infact he's a closet homosexual.

>>5973973
Two engineering students meet on campus one day. The first engineer calls out to the other, "Hey, nice bike! Where did you get it?" "Well'" replies the other, "I was walking to class the other day when this pretty, young co-ed rides up on this bike. She jumps off, takes off all her clothes and says, "You can have ANYTHING you want." "Good choice," says the first, "Her clothes wouldn't have fit you anyway!"

>>5973981
>scientists are democrats
that one hurts

>>5973990
That's it.
The Zombies are coming.
GG everyone.

>>5974037
Man has lived an eventful life.
I keep hearing about his silly antics in the news.

>>5974042
I am not a smart man.
Why is this a joke?

>>5974045
That's water.

They got this in a survey in Texas and got thousands of people signing for a government ban on water.

>>5974045

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DHMO

>>5974031
>>5974034
lol

Once upon a time (1/t), pretty little Polly Nomial was strolling across a field of vectors when she came to the edge of a singularly large matrix. Now Polly was convergent and her mother had made it an absolute condition that she must never enter such an array without her brackets on. Polly, however, who had changed her variables that morning and was feeling particularly badly behaved, ignored this condition on the grounds that it was insufficient, and made her way in amongst the complex elements. Rows and columns enveloped her on all sides. Tangents approached her surface. She became tensor and tensor. Suddenly two branches of a hyperbola touched her at a single point. She oscillated violently, lost all sense of direction, and went completely divergent. As she reached a turning point she tripped over a square root that was protruding from the erf, and she plunged headlong down a steep gradient. When she was differentiated once more, she found herself, apparently alone, in a non-Euclidean space. She was being watched, however. That smooth operator, Curly Pi, was lurking inner product. As he numerically analyzed her, his eyes devoured her curvilinear coordinates, and a singular expression crossed his face. Was she still convergent, he wondered. He decided to integrate improperly at once.

>>5974058
Hearing a common fraction behind her, Polly rotated and saw Curly approaching her with his power series expanding. She could see by his degenerate conic that he was up to no good. "What a symmetric little polynomial you are," he said. "I can see that your angles have lots of secs." "Oh sir," she protested, "keep away from me. I haven't got my brackets on." "Calm yourself, my dear", said our suave operator. "Your fears are purely imaginary." "I, i," she thought. "Perhaps he's homogeneous." "What order are you?" the brute demanded. "Seventeen," replied Polly. "I suppose you've never been operated on?" "Of course not," Polly cried indignantly. "I'm absolutely convergent." "Come, come," said Curly. "Let's go off to a decimal place, and I'll take you to the limit!" "Never!" gasped Polly. "Abscissa!" he swore, using the vilest oath he knew. His patience was gone. Coshing her over the head with a log until she was powerless, Curly removed her discontinuities. He stared at her significant places and began smoothing her points of inflection. Poor Polly. She felt his hand tending to her asymptotic limit. Her convergence would soon be gone forever.

>>5974059
There was no mercy, for Curly was a heavyside operator. Curly's radius squared itself. Polly's loci quivered. He integrated by parts. He integrated by partial fractions. After he cofactored, he performed Runge-Kutta on her. The complex beast even went all the way around and did a contour integration. Curly went on operating until he satisfied her hypothesis, then he exponentiated and became completely orthogonal. When Polly got home that night her mother noticed that she was no longer piecewise continuous, but had been truncated in several places. As the months went by, Polly's denominator increased monotonically. Finally she went to l'Hospital and generated a small but pathological function which left little surds all over the place and drove Polly to deviation. The moral of the story is, "If you want to keep your expressions convergent, never allow them a single degree of freedom."

>>5974061
>>5974059
This is amazing.

>>5974058
>>5974059
>>5974061
I lol'd.

represent, yo.

>>5974061
l'Hospital made it.

>>5972664
I hate you, everyone I know makes fun of me because of this fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you

>>5974082

>>5973060
http://thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=youre_not_a_nerd

>>5974141
I'm loving this guy

>>5974141
>>5974155
You might enjoy "I fucking hate 'I fucking love science'" on facebook.

>>5974158
>implying any facebook pages are enjoyable
they're all the same, even if they are being a counter culture's counter culture. Any non-official page sucks small pixelated asian dick

>>5972865
dr. cooper?

>>5974141
So they put 20 pics of Tyson a week, but they actually post the pic about 13 planets? What in the actual fuck?

>>5974175
Yeah. That's an example of the point of the article. IFLS users are shit, and it's only decent to keep up with science news, but some people deify the group until it's painful to watch.

>>5974042
I don't know why no one uses Hydroxlic Acid.
Science-wise it sounds like it will donate hydroxides or protons just as well.
Non-science-wise it's a fucking acid it will melt your face

>>5972670
...but that's wrong!

>>5974037
Oh wow. Have we really gone full circle?

Now somebody needs to start buying music, and it'll be perfect.

>>5974208
>Now somebody needs to start buying music
That's madness, man.
Unheard of!

>>5974188
>It will glomping melt you
>glomping

My eye just twitched.

>>5974223
expletives need that hard consonant at the end. And since they aren't allowed to swear...they invent their own new swears.

>>5973031
Ouch, that hit me right in my bachelors.

>>5973342
>did scientists ever cloned a human

More of a math joke, but i still find it hilarious

>An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar
>First mathematician says to the bar tender "I'd like one beer please"
>Second mathematician says to the bar tender "One-half beer please"
>Third mathematician says "one-quarter beer please"
>and so on
>So the bar tender pours out two beers and says
>"Boys, boys, you gotta know your limits"

>>5974307
One beer seems like a strange measurement?
Is it a half-liter?
A pint?

>>5974307
what happens when he gets down to an atom

>>5974313
Make it one pint
>>5974315
Why you gotta be like that?

>>5974318
>Why you gotta be like that?
Maybe because he's got experience with quantum drinks that may have existed until he tried drinking them.

>>5974095
I can't even remember what I ate today or what I did yesterday. My memory is failing on me too many times

Isn't everything in the universe made of energy? because like what are atoms made of anyways

>>5974315
It's always funny to see the mathematicians' models fall apart in the real world.

>>5974324
Love.

The programmer's wife send him to the store to buy a loaf of bear and if they have eggs buy a dozen.
The programmer returns with a dozen loafs of bread.

>>5974362
First time I heard that joke, it took me all day to figure out.

>>5974370
Well it was written differently where I read it some time ago, but couldn't find the original. Also mistypes.

>buy a loaf of bear

>>5972653
>you're science jokes
>you are science jokes

>>5972798
So cancer isn't cancer ...?

>>5973825
>hiv virus
I love people

>>5972785
>film, not video
derp of the day, retard

>>5973980
I thought this one was about programmers.

>>5974676
how so

>>5974743
>fuck of, structure preserving mapping
I don't get this one

>>5974749
>homo

>>5972656

i chuckled

am i bad?

>>5974743
>Each element of the empty set says that you're a faggot

not an insult

>>5973532
>First, we postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass.

>Photons barely have mass

>Souls must have mass

F

>>5974915
What do photons have to do with imaginary objects?

>>5974915
Photons have NO mass.

>>5974980
>Photons have NO mass.

sure

>>5974963

he is assuming imaginary objects to have properties that are not necessary to be had in the first place

why do souls need to have mass when photons themselves dont

>>5974996
But photons do have mass when they have energy, so always.
They don't have mass only when stationary, so never.

>>5974998

sorry i did meant no rest mass

>>5972843
лел

>>5972843
translation?

>>5975018
>2013
> Don't know Russian

1. With some luck, we'll be done in two hours...
2. Holy shit! Vector mass!
3. It's a toilet pointer!
4. Idiots...

>>5974996
Photons do have mass. In relativity mass is defined by energy.

>>5976602
If you bothered to read the thread you would notice that that point was already talked about.

>>5974315
>beer
>ethanol, water and other substances
>atom

>>5977151
oops didnt see this was already posted

>>5977151

>became completely orthogonal

On his death bead, a great mathematician laments that he was unable to solve the greatest math problems of his time. He is not a religious man, but still appreciates the time God had given him on Earth. Surrounded by his loving family and friends, he passes away with but his one regret.

Moments later he awake in the presents of God. He asks God, why have you summoned me before you? I am not a religious man, and am certainty not worth of your presents. God replies that he has taken pity on his final regret, and will answer any one question given before him.

The mathematician asks "Can you share with me the knowledge of all mathematics that I may comprehend?" God replies that he can, and draws a line on the ground before him. The mathematician waits a bit, then asks "What is this for? Are you not going to answer my question?". God replies that he has, and will answer no further question.

The mathematician begs God for one final question so he may understand the meaning of the line that was drawn. God obliges and explains that the line he has written represent the number one. The mathematician cries "That doesn't explain anything". God replies "Oh, well the rest is implied".

>>5977244
https://archive.installgentoo.net/sci/thread/5974343

>>5977290
Ha, I remember that thread.

>>5974362
>Told to buy a bear
>buys some carb-rich food instead

Programmer's logic

I totally get the joke now. Programmers can't follow directions even while their programs have to.

>>5973378
>Basically this, it used to be good but it's too "popular" now. So no, no objective reason.

One of your criteria for enjoying a show is whether it is popular with the masses?

That's very sad.

>>5973924
>>5973915

It's supposed to be a pun. "Shearing" means to de-wool a sheep, or whatever.

>>5973169
>except

if you're doing it, you put your mind forward and are executing the steps. Sorry your parents didn't love you enough

>>5973432
told

>>5974175
>>5974155
>>5974158
>>5974141

I know how you view IFLS. I also know how much I hate it along with shows like the big bang theory. But you try and shut the public down for it is a bad, bad idea.

Why?

Because the popularity of science with the public, even if it's just the idea of liking science, will help insure that it is funded. I love the fact that science is no longer the weird thing only nerds due. As much as it infuriates me that the valley girl who doesn't even know the sun is a star can turn around and say "lol I love Tyson! I'm such a nerd", it IS a good thing. Because now when questions of cutting science funding comes up, these people will say "of course we shouldn't cut it, they do cool shit! We want dinosaurs!" I'm fucking ecstatic about it, actually. More than that, it will attract more personality types to actually do science. Some kid who would have shunned it 20 years ago might actually be a really good scientist and embrace it now that it's awesome in the public eye.

Don't fuck up a good thing just because it helps your superiority complex.

>>5977803
Jesus christ I shouldn't drink before typing.

>But you try and shut the public down for it
but trying to shut the public down for it

>only nerds due
do.

> I love the fact that science is no longer the weird thing only nerds due
I'm afraid that it is still the weird thing only nerds do, mate. It's just now we also have mass hypocrisy over it, so that a lot of people pretend to be interested in it, but really they feel just the same amount of disgust to people, who are really passionate about it. Unless of course you're handsome and charismatic, so chicks will fall for you and do their best to show you how really they are into science, like they do with any other man's interest.

paul dirac is dating jane russell.
one day while they are out walking she trips, and he falls right on top of her.
and someone shouts, "hey, look at dirac on jane russell..."