/sci/ - Science & Math

And the Neutron said, "and lets have a drink for my friend"
And the Neutrino said, "nah im just passing through"

Photons have mass? I didn't know they were Catholic!

this is getting quarky

...the Proton asks for a beer.
Bartender asks if he's sure.
Proton says "I'm positive."

A neutron fails his chem final and asks for a retake.

"Are you sure?" The professor electron says.

"... I'm positive," the neutron says.

And that's why he failed.

That joke failed

>>5374305
a strange quark goes up to a down quark and says
WHATS UP?

>>5374376
man when was the last time you sleptons?

Why can't you plant corn in Z/6Z?
Its not a field!

A pure mathematician and an applied mathematician walk into a bar. The applied mathematician asks the pure mathematician what he studies, and the pure mathematician says knot theory. The applied mathematician says 'Oh me neither!'

Haha

>>5374418
Why can't you plant corn in <span class="math">\mathbb{Z}_5[/spoiler] then?

fluorine walks into a bar, 5 dicks in her

>>5374422
Because all the kernels are trivial.

Algebraic geometers do it for variety.
Algebraists do it with rings.
Analysts do it to the limit.
Analytic number theorists do it in the critical strip.
Banach spacers do it completely.
Bayesians do it with improper priors.
Catastrophe theorists do it falling off part of a sheet.
Chaoticians do it with sensitive dependence.
Class field theorists do it by capitulation.
Combinatorists do it discretely.
Commutative algebraists do it regularly.
Complex analysts do it under a universal cover.
Computer scientists do it depth-first.
Constructivists do it without excluding the middle.
Cosmologists do it in the first three minutes.
Decision theorists do it optimally.
Differential analysts do it in a degenerate case.
Differential geometers do it on smooth contours.
Functional analysts do it with compact support.
Galois theorists do it in a field.
Game theorists do it with saddle points.
General relativists do it with rubber sheets and canteloupes.
Geometers do it with involutions.
Graph theorists do it in four colors.
Group theorists do it with the Monster.
Hilbert spacers do it orthogonally.
Inductionists do it forever if they can do one and can do one more.
Large cardinals do it inaccessibly.
Linear programmers do it with nearest neighbors.
Logicians do it by choice.
Matrix analysts don't do it until it is positive definite.
Matrix computationalists do it by pivoting.
Number theorists do it perfectly.
Physicists do it on the event horizon.
Probabilists do it on random walks.
Quantum physicists can either know how fast they do it, or where they do it, but not both.
Real analysts do it almost everywhere.
Representation theorists do it for Schur.
Ring theorists do it ideally.
Set theorists do it with cardinals.
Statisticians probably do it.
Topologists don't do it. They would rather knot.
Topos theorists do it pointlessly.

Paul Dirac is dating Jane Russell. They go out for a walk and she trips, and he falls on top of her.
Someone points and says, "Hey, look at Dirac on Jane Russell."

>>5374305
>>5374305
An Argon atom walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve noble gases here." The Argon doesn't react.

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a beer. The second orders half of a beer. The third orders a quarter, etc. The bartender says, "You're all idiots." and pours two beers.

>>5374936
>An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a beer. The second orders half of a beer. The third orders a quarter, etc. The bartender says, "You're all idiots." and pours two beers.

This joke always made me laugh in a pitiful "Oh god this is terribly autistic" manner.

>>5374936
Beers are discrete objects. Of course you can half, a quarter, an eigthh, etc. But eventually, you won't be able to subdivise it and thus not being able to fulfill the order of the infinite number of mathematicians.

These jokes are incredibly bad and you should feel bad for posting them.

The bartendender says, "Can I get you something?"
A tachyon walks into a bar.

A neutrino walks through a bar.

>>5375090

...15 seconds earlier

>>5375057

A Tachyon walks into a bar...

>>5375090
>>5375057

Fucking time travelling cheater

>>5375057
>>5375090
W-W-What?

>>5375057

wtf how did you know your future post number

>>5375057
>>5375090
>>5375101
>>5375107
sure is samefag in here
the board is slow as fuck, he correctly guessed what his post number would be (after getting it wrong once, and deleting the failed attempt)

>>5375057
>>5375090

>>5375129

>>5375129
>>5375130

>>5375123
He used tachyon telescopes.

>>5374305
Bartender gives him a glass of electron neutrinos.
Neutron: Could you give me something with some flavor?

>>5375057
>>5375090

whoah