/sci/ - Science & Math

>that pic

go back to [insert OC-swiping "aggregator" of your choice]

inb4

>above average intelligence
>no academic success

Its because of family issues, depression and mostly having my life be controlled by aggressively stupid people.

This isn't science or math
>>>/b/

>>5192724
Death is boring

I'm also sorry for a post that is only vaugely science related but I wanted to avoid all the edgy 13 year olds on the other boards.

>>5192724
honestly OP I have considered it a lot as well. I imagine putting a gun to my head. pulling the trigger just to the point of resistance that point right before the bullet fires and then bam the bliss of nothingness no feelings no stress no hassle.

Why dont i do it? Live has its up and downs you have not always been sad and honestly if you put in some effort you will not always be sad, that and i see the beauty in life. Nobody cares if you live or die in the big scheme of things but how can you have joy without pain. how can you have beauty without the ugly. Do you really want to give up the potential happiness you could achieve for the mediocrity of nothingness?

>>5192724

try to realize that life has its ups and downs for every damn one of us.

and then try to realize that you enjoy things. food, music, art, games, movies, sports, hunting, fishing. whatever. enjoy the little things and the big things have a way of taking care of themselves.

>>5192724

Suicide is for unscientific plebeian laymen.

I'll leave a quote by Poincaré :

"The scientist does not study nature because it is useful to do so. He studies it because he takes pleasure in it, and he takes pleasure in it because it is beautiful.<span class="math">\mathbf{If\;nature\;were\;not\;beautiful\;it\;would\;not\;be\;worth\;knowing,\;and\;life\;would\;not
\;be\;worth\;living.}[/spoiler]"

I will help you make this science related OP!

Clearly the groups of molecules, that are emitting light, who happen to be the people you're involved with daily (relatives etc) aren't doing it for you. I recommend you tell them you wish to pursue something else in life, and Gun for it. Take as much time as you need. There are so many people in the world who, if you show you're ready to work for them- they will go into bat for you. Go do some volunteer work where they don't pay you but feed you etc.

>>which is almost useless since I have no academic sucess
You really think that the value of intellect is limited to academic success? I think you need to rethink that one (and possible other things), because that is quite... Vague. I think anyone who spends their entire lives striving solely for academic success will regret it when their time is almost up. You are in possession of one of the most profound constructions in the universe - a brain - and it seems you somewhat know how to use it too. Train it, train your body, learn, teach, experience, grow.
You won't live forever, old man death is waiting to take you home at the end of the road anyway - so why rush it? If you really can't stand anything about what you're doing or where you are, fuck it, run away. If you're about to kill yourself anyway, you might as well have an adventure first.

I've been suicidal and depressed periods for years now too, so it's not that I don't feel you. However, suicide is the easy way out, and I don't necessarily think the easy is the most right.

>>which is almost useless since I have no academic sucess
You really think that the value of intellect is limited to academic success? I think you need to rethink that one (and possible other things), because that is quite... Vague. I think anyone who spends their entire lives striving solely for academic success will regret it when their time is almost up. You are in possession of one of the most profound constructions in the universe - a brain - and it seems you somewhat know how to use it too. Train it, train your body, learn, teach, experience, grow.
You won't live forever, old man death is waiting to take you home at the end of the road anyway - so why rush it? If you really can't stand anything about what you're doing or where you are, fuck it, run away. If you're about to kill yourself anyway, you might as well have an adventure first.

I've been suicidal and depressed periods for years now too, so it's not that I don't feel you. However, suicide is the easy way out, and I don't necessarily think the easiest is the most right.

>>5192724
If your life truly has no value for you then there is no point in continuing. The fact that your posting here though is a call for help. You don't actually want to die, you just want your life to change. Maybe it's possible, maybe not. I don't know you or your life.

The only thing I can tell you is that shit can change radically and unexpectedly, with or without your control. I'm not telling you to hang in there and all the other optimistic bullshit, just that there really is a chance that things will change and you'll end up with something that you can at least tolerate if not completely enjoy. That chance may be very small and may depend on you though.

Once you truly reach the point of having nothing to lose, considering going for broke before you kill yourself. Take a few longshots even if they have devastating consequences if you miss. Just make sure that you have a foolproof way to kill yourself if you do something too crazy and need a quit exit plan.

>>5192764

I'ld like to expand :

I was suicidal at around 10 and was thinking ways of killing myself, my favourite option was to shoot myself in the head but that was the trickiest to accomplish and the easiest option to to jump off a high building. (I ranked my options by : -Easiness and -Pain and came to a compromise).

I never got round to doing it because I didn't have the courage to carry on with it.

I then pondered on the thought that we are all going to die and be forgotten forever.

I thought I might as well live life and then die rather than die early, that would just be a waste.

Do as I do; keep looking for interesting things. This will keep your head off of the bad things. Worked for me for almost 6 years now, even though I get a relapse every 6 months.

>>5192819
how were you suicidal at 10?

I remember life being full of dopamines, serotines and niceness at that age

>>5192724
you'll die soon enough

>>5192835
there are parents who don't want their children to have fun

Become a spook and die in a war zone. Data collection doesn't require a high intelligence unless you're designing methods.

>>5192835

It was strange, I wasn't manic depressive but I held very little interest towards continuing with life, killing myself didn't seem like a big deal it just felt like a good thing to do.

The cause is I probably have a genetic predisposition towards mental illness + something bad must of happened in my childhood (maybe emotional neglect/abuse).

My brain is quite good now, I only have social anxiety disorder/AvPD and general anxiety which isn't hard to cope with at all considering the range of mental illnesses out there.

>>5192835
>how were you suicidal at 10?
How is anyone suicidal at any age? I'm not the guy you were responding to, but I suffered bouts of depression at that age. I used to be preoccupied with the fact that I would one day die and everything I knew would be gone, and that everything I enjoyed would one day come to an end even before that, that all life's pleasures were fleeting and moments could never be truly recaptured. I would wake up in the middle of the night and feel despair over opportunities I'd lost.

I remember at times when I was on trips with my family and when I everything was going good I would be reminded that one day all this would be nothing but a pale memory. The result of which was I was sullen, anhedonic at times, and often had thoughts of suicide.

>>5192861
Yes I understand these thoughts, just typical grown up peoples thoughts. I was more of living in the moment back than, so pointless problems didn't arise. Now I just live inside my own reality and brain.. It's a big difference.

>>5192878
I grew out of them, and learned to live in the moment.

>>5192883

<span class="math">\mathfrak{carpe\;\;diem}[/spoiler]

>>5192883
<span class="math">\mathbf{carpe\;\;diem}[/spoiler]

>>5192907
<span class="math">\textit{YOLO}[/spoiler]

My only suggestion to you at the moment is to try and empty your mind. Find a spot on the wall or window to stare at for one minute, without a thought in your head. Once the minute is up, clap your hands once. Do it deliberately. Now, exercise for a while and as the thoughts slowly leave your mind. Start slow but keep moving forward.

If you can still do all the above (even if you hesitate at first), you still have control in your life.

>>5192764
I disagree. There are a lot of things in "nature" that aren't beautiful and I would still study them. I in fact do not study nature because I find every element of it beautiful or because I get a large amount of pleasure from it. I study STEM because it is the only thing that a human being can do in his life that truly matters. It is the only reason I choose to live every day instead of killing myself. All other things are temporal, banal things. But STEM helps human kind ultimately parasitize the kosmos and even thought that might be equally pointless in the end, it's the closest thing to meaningfulness any of us can ever achieve in our lifespan whether or not we take pleasure in it.

>>5192724

Hey OP, first of all: don't do it! (in case you misunderstand some of the first parts of my post)

One of the most important things I ever learnt was simply that life has no meaning at all. Once you realize that you will be relieved of alot of stress. First of all, there's no "you", what you perceive as yourself is simply an illusion, or a combination of all your memories if you will. If this is hard to imagine, think about someone having some extreme form of dementia without any prior memories, (s)he would have no pattern ("personality"?), and would been seen as someone you could not in any way predict or get a comfortable relationship to (comfortable as in predictable).

Once you realize we are all just an advanced specie evolved from single-cell organisms, whose behavior is as normal as the ones of plants & other animals (everything simply a result of probability, biological-, electrical-, chemical- processes) you will once feel at ease.

This does not mean that everything can be predicted (strict-determinism), read about chaos theory for instance. Everything around you has an almost infinite number of variables, subject to change at all times, meaning what you perceive as reality is simply what _happened_ from the close to infinite possible outcomes.

Where does this lead to? To put it simple, what happens after death is simply the same as what happened before you were born. If you can tell me about how "you" (THERE'S NO YOU, "YOU" CAME TO LIFE AT THE SAME TIME AS YOUR BODY, AND "THE TWO OF YOU" ARE NOT SEPARATE) acted before the unique composition of mass "you" refer to as your body (this is impossible to write without making up another word for "you", as it infers that "what you perceive as mind" and "what you perceive as the your body" is separate).

>>5193015
cont:


In other words, there's no before-life, no after-life. therefore no reason to live, but at the same time NO REASON TO DIE. You can do whatever you want now, and it does matter, you will not regret it, nor will you happy for what you did. Like people say "I want to skydive before I die", they include an assumption that they will "regret it if they die before they had to chance to skydive", but this would be including a psychological feeling (regret) to a pile of mass with no ability to interpret feelings (your dead body).

I hope this will help you, and you understand it the right way. Go on, life your life, read about the biological reason for depression (chemical imbalances in your brain), take the right steps to get those levels of seretonin back up, and hope to see you on this board in the future!

Unfortunately I have to go now, so I don't have time to elaborate more nor re-read my post to see if it makes any sense at all, but I hope you get something from it, and I hope others will question it and point out illogical arguments or such in my post.

>>5192958

They point is that it doesn't matter to a scientist whether what they do is helpful, they do it because it is enjoyable.

tl;dr FUCK HUMANITY DO SCIENCE

>>5192724
>above average intelligence
>shit grammar
>no academic or social success
>lol im smart but not good at school

You're the kind of psuedo-intellectual that most people fucking despise. Your superiority complex protects your precious ego because you haven't achieved enough in life.

Guess what OP? Google: Dunning-Kruger effect.

Kill yourself. It's Darwinism at work.