/sci/ - Science & Math

>>5094543
You are disgusting.

Global warming argument in a nutshell:

See there is a cheese on a window seal and then some guy starts pissing on it.

Then a guy walks up and is like "are you gonna eat that"

All because the window sill was peeing on the cheese before hand.'''''

>Dad has terminal disease
>Dad is slowly killing himself everyday by taking drugs and getting drunk all the time
>Wants a plan to kill him in the next six months

Seems pretty obvious to me. You don't even need to move a muscle

Talk to him. He needs you now. Tell him it will be okay. Tell him that it isn't a good idea to waste all of his earnings on booze and drugs.

Tell him that you need his stuff.

>>5094572
the problem is that the more money he spends killing himself with drugs, the less money there is left for me.

Tell him that you're a shitposter on 4chan. He will die from disappoint.

You can distill a thick brown syrup from plain "roll your own" tobacco leaves. This syrup is extremely high in nicotine, which is a powerful stimulant that is metabolized by the body in under an hour to my knowledge. Information provided for educational purposes only.

>>5094590
>>5094606
You selfish bastards. It's his money, let the man die in the fashion he wants to. If your not worth his cash, then your not worth it. You don't think that went through his mind at least for a millisecond?

OP is a fucking jew who expects free stuff straight
away
hope your dad sells all his shit faggot

Make a lot of sudden movements.

Greet him loudly from behind when he isn't expecting you.

Hire him a prostitute that was once a gym instructor.

Hire me a prostitute that was once a gym instructor.

>>5094622
It's my money. He's just a walking corpse spending it until he actually drops dead.

Say what you will, but the natural causation is that unless someone kills me, I'll live long enough to see his tombstone one day. Hell, I'll probably be the guy who buys it for him. So it's really in my best interest to just try and make sure I get as much of it as I can. I haven't even taken into consideration how things will be split between my siblings.

I'm just lucky because I'm the youngest, still in education and 'need' it the most. All my siblings are established.

It belongs to me. He's just holding on to it.

>>5094634

No, it isn't your money.

Just get an air bubble in his heroin needle. Quick death.

sure is moralfag in here. OP isn't asking for your bullshit opinions, he wants to know how to kill some motherfucker.

>>5094634
youngest eh? you probably get shit. he knows your a little backstabbing faggot. thats why he does all those drugs instead of spending time with you trying to make up those last moments. what a horrible child, go suck a rotting polar bear cock

also dubs

>>5094642
no shit faggot, ever think no one wants to respond?

>>5094606

How big is the fine, and how long the jail time, for someone getting caught doing drugs?

Can you lie convincingly?

If it's $0, long enough and yes, send an anonymous tip that your father is doing drugs, let him get caught. He spends the rest of his life in prison, unable to spend his cash. You lie about having done it - you and your siblings no longer trust each other, but they don't know who did it, so you walk away unscathed, and even if you get found out, your only action is handing in a criminal.

Of course I'm not making any moral judgments here. This is /sci/, I'm here to give you options, not ethics classes.

>>5094657
I live in Canada and I happen to know that my dad has at least an ounce of pot in his living room.

I met get caught for doing pot though because I regularly steal/use it and they might drug test me or find my bong/other shit. I could throw it all out knowing I could buy it back, but then I'd have to worry about the exact same strain of pot being in my system.

>>5094643
If I maintain my trust with him and he never knows I killed him, he'll probably give me most of it. I have a good relationship with him.

>>5094677
I don't think you fully understand the psychological consequences of doing something like this...

>>5094681
What do you mean? It's something I've always wanted to do and dreamt about. He's just going to drop dead anyways and he's getting too old and senile to do anything sensible. It's better to hurry him up.

>>5094686
If you go through with it, you'll find out. I'd advise against it.

>>5094686

true. if he is terminal and wasting away, he wants to die, and if you help him in a way that doesn't trigger a "fight for life" reaction, you will have done the correct thing, morally, but in most places in america you will be charged with murder.

sometimes they let a really old person off for helping their spouse die, but since you stand to inherit, they will try to prosecute.

so you are doing the right thing to research methods that won't bring suspicion on yourself.

and you won't feel guilty, you will be proud that you were strong enough to do the right thing.

>>5094634
You're as much of a walking corpse as he? Who knows, hopefully you get run over by a bus tomorrow and you die before him? What a piece of shit.

>>5094706
>Dat name.

>>5094703
Um. His dad doesn't want to die soon, he wants to live and enjoy spending all the money he worked to earn and doing a bunch of meth. Killing someone who doesn't want to die so you can spend his money instead of him spending it isn't the morally right thing in any rational culture, sorry.

>>5094710

OP needs to start a thead on /b/ and forget about this one. /b/ is more knowledgable and gives better advice than a bunch of autistic math major virgins.

>>5094706
Salami bacon, my muslim brethren. Allah at bar!

Okay, so you're OP is the youngest son of a wealthy Canadian businessman who owns a jaguar and a pickup truck, smokes pot, and has recently been diagnosed with a fatal heart disease, and you've just publicly declared your intent to murder your father.

You're a fucking dumbass.

>>5094729
>Let the statistical analysis begin!

>>5094729
>assuming my dad is a businessman

>>5094732
idiot. every fucking canadian i know owns a pickup and a jag, and smokes pot.

and since they all eat whale blubber, half of them have heart disease.

OP is in like rover.

>>5094657
Hell spend all his money on lawyers instead

>>5094735
>Assuming the mounties haven't already become aware of this and don't already know who and where you are...

>>5094742

the mounties are all busy trying on each others bras and bustiers.

you guys need to get out moer.

>>5094742
>mfw imagining this actually happening

it would be funny if the mounties were this hardworking or even present in this city but I'm afraid I probably won't get arrested just for discussing the idea of killing my dad over the internet with a bunch of anonymous forum browsers.

>>5094739
>every X I know
>Implying such a small sample size means dick.
>>5094745
>If only I had a dollar for every time someone thought they were smarter than whatever police force they thought they were smarter than.

Cocaine and alcohol forms cocaethylene in vivo by transesterfication, which is much more cardio toxic than cocaine alone, so if he wants to drink and drug, I'd say he ain't long for this world with a weak heart. Basically any stimulant will be like playing with fire

>>5094753

does green text make your stupid comments seem smarter?

>light is really fast vroom

>>5094756

good advice. take the strongest drugs the geezer does, and juice them.

cops don't give a shit when a junkie dies.

>>5094757
>2012
>calling meme arrows "greentext"

>>5094764
>le memes
>le namefield
>le implication lettering

>>5094764

I KNOW THAT I LIVE AT MOOTS HOUSE YOU FUCKTARD

>>5094757
>My sides.

>>5094769

bump for dad death which we all secretly pray for

>>5094814
Burn in hell, I love my dad.

>>5094828

that's becuz ur dad aint got money.

love and money. two diff things, sugar.

>He's just a walking corpse
We all are

>>5094841
>Implying you've experienced either.

>>5094851

12 year old in da houze

>>5094864
>

>>5094870

are you sonambulant?

speak please. otherwise dont post in adult thread.

>>5094879
>

>>5094884

great. 12 yr old watched jim carrey movie.

come back with me myself and elaine and we will talk.

quality, kid, quality

>>5094894
>>5094879
>>5094864
Fuck off Teacunt

>>5094894

why was dumb and dumber posted?

tell him you are gay
side effects may include being disowned or being shot in the face

>>5095170
He knows I'm gay and he doesn't care surprisingly. I think more than anything else he's convinced that I'll 'change back' to being hetero, but that's besides the point.