/sci/ - Science & Math

"nigger"

"I liked this planet better before it got all mainstream."

"Good shit"

"God..."

>your

0/10

You could go with a ceremonial "One small step..." that could become tradition for eons. It's the best way to avoid being hated and most likely anything anyone here posts will sound retarded to everyone else.

"first"

Then take off helmet and snort mars-dust

"One small step for mankind, one giant leap for Earth."

or you could get armstrong's quote right, since he fucked it up the first time.

>What do you say?

Something in Chinese.

"tfw no gf"

>>5009765

fuck the police

we mars now

A new more glorious dawn awaits.

Aight biatches, homo sapiens in da hizoussse. Yo alien biatches best watch yo shiat now. We all spiderman now.

No rings. Less space than Jupiter. Lame.

This planet is brought to you by Jello Brand Pudding Pops! Taste the flavor!

>that feel when first person on mars

" To infinity and beyond. "

Atheists:1
Christians:0

I stand here as one, for all of mankind. The future has never looked so bright from this height!

I'm too black for this shit

"This will be mankinds final step if the blacks are not prevented from breeding."

Maybe don't fuck around and go straight to work?

"Well, here we are."

I'm surprised at you /sci/.

>>5009798
>/.brofist.jpg

"I wanna go home"

"Oh fuck I left the stove on"

",,, desolate hole."

"Wow...

It's fucking nothing..."

"BLAT BLAT BLAT GOES MY MOTHERFUCKIN' GAT

POP POP POP WATCHIN' MOTHERFUCKERS DROP"

"It's a red desert"

my god, its full of rocks

first

"I love jesus christ"

"FUCK YEAH BLACK EYED PEAS"

"I can now safely say that there is life on Mars."

"Well, this was stupid. Time to go home!"

"After 10,000 years I'm finally free! It's time to conquer MARS. "

>>5009872

I claim this red world in the name of my white brethren, ours for the rest of time. May any others who come here find no purchase, and may their hopes and lives be dashed against its rocky and unforgiving soil.

How the fuck are all of you coming up with these lame unfunny remarks? I detect samefaggotry.

>>5009889
I don't know man, I think it would leave people scratching their heads.

>2012
>not being on mars
ISHYGDDT

I then take off my helmet and make the Costanza face towards where the camera is.

Vi veri veniversum vivus vicci.

>>5009915
8/10
Would not dislike.

"I claim this planet in the name of white men forever."

"ay yo where da white wimmen at?"

>>5009797

alright i laughed

>>5009911
lol/10

"Drink Coca-Cola" i then acquire LODESEMONE for the ad

#YOLO

Another small step for white man, one giant leap for everyone else.

I wouldn't say a word when I left the cabin, nor when I set foot on the planet.

Instead, I would wait until the next dawn. I would walk silently, about 150 meters away, plant a flag, then gently place a framed picture of Neil Armstrong at the base of the flag.

I would face the landing module, sun rising behind me, and say "This is a most glorious dawn."

Another world claimed for mankind, and another step towards the stars.

I would say something like "Houston, we've landed. This is a tremendous accompli- Wait, something's not right... There's something moving in the dis- AHRHGRRGAAAAAAH" *blood curdling scream*

Then I would destroy all the communications in the shuttle, and kill myself.

"Armstrong may have been first, but I still made it further.

I was thinking about this the other day.

>In honour of the greatest man to walk the cosmos: That's one small step for man; one giant leap for mankind.

Hopefully it'd start a trend. Same line every time humanity steps foot on another planet.

"JEWS DID 9/11"

or

"Hitler did nothing wrong"

>>5010002

"Per Ardua ad Astra"

>>5010015

>Implying Hitler didn't do 911
>Implying Jews didn't do anything wrong

>>5010044
>implying hitler ever existed

been there done that

This planet is afraid of me, I've seen it's true face.

"My curiosity led me here"
get it gaiz ?
get it ?

>>5009987
Right before you did that I'd leap out of the cabin and bounce in big Mars circles around you bellowing the Banana Phone song.

>too much dirt
>too red
>not enough water
>2/10 would not bang

whats...that....thing.... moving.. over there?

"My god...It's full of stars"

that image color is fake, check curiosity images for real color

>say nothing
>attempt to make a backflip and land on the surface
>fail hard
>break neck
>die

>close door of lander
"shit, I forgot my keys inside."

I see no god here.

>"wowshit it's cold out here"

>Fart really loudly into microphone

"Uh, houston, we seem to be experiencing some difficulties with... solar ejecta..."

>I Claim this planet in the name of the British Crown, God Save the Queen

and I pull out a British flag that I smuggled on board and plant it right in the middle of the camera's view

Whacking off in 0G is awesome

>>5010224
Oh my god thanks for the laugh man.

First words on Mars will be coming out of the closet with my shipmate.

"Houston, I've got something I've been meaning to tell you. I hope it doesn't change how you look at me. But me and Buzz here... we're in love. We're gay and we're in love."

First person on Mars is a fudgpacker bitches

Captcha: kharder now

"It's a good thing we packed an extra change of diapers"

>>5010011
>One small step for Mankind, a giant leap for all life

"YOU SAID I WAS GOING TO THE MOON! YOU LIED TO ME! ALL OF YOU! WAAAAARGH"

>say nothing
>run away
>never return to ship/crew
>never respond to radio communication
>never heard from again

"As I stand amidst this rusty vista... wait what's that? OH GOD NO- AAAARRRRRGH!"

<beat>

"Just messin' with ya."

Everything's red.
saturated toyerye

one small step for womyn, one giant leap for womynkind

>>5010307
2/10. Best I can do.

" HOLY MOTHER OF FUCK "

"aeiou"

>Welcome to my world, the world of redbull

And thus, I make another small step which is an even bigger leap for mankind.
Let's try to gain some momentum this time.

USA USA USA USA

>>5010318
JOHN MADDEN JOHN MADDEN JOHN MADDEN JOHN MADDEN JOHN MADDEN JOHN MADDEN JOHN MADDEN JOHN MADDEN JOHN MADDEN JOHN MADDEN JOHN MADDEN JOHN MADDEN JOHN MADDEN JOHN MADDEN JOHN MADDEN JOHN MADDEN JOHN MADDEN JOHN MADDEN JOHN MADDEN JOHN MADDEN JOHN MADDEN JOHN MADDEN JOHN MADDEN JOHN MADDEN JOHN MADDEN JOHN MADDEN JOHN MADDEN JOHN MADDEN JOHN MADDEN JOHN MADDEN JOHN MADDEN JOHN MADDEN JOHN MADDEN JOHN MADDEN JOHN MADDEN JOHN MADDEN JOHN MADDEN JOHN MADDEN JOHN MADDEN JOHN MADDEN JOHN MADDEN JOHN MADDEN JOHN MADDEN JOHN MADDEN JOHN MADDEN JOHN MADDEN JOHN MADDEN JOHN MADDEN JOHN MADDEN JOHN MADDEN JOHN MADDEN JOHN MADDEN JOHN MADDEN

ITT: /sci/ is full of lolsorandum unfunny teenagers.

>>5010318
Football!

am I live? guys can you hear me? guys?

"Dibs!"

>>5010224
I wish I could see this

it would have to be one of those little paper flags on a toothpick you get on cakes and stuff

first

For the glory of the war god!

Seems like a pretty good bet.

"aw shit I forgot what I meant to say"

"HOLY SHIT I'M ON FUCKING MARS! THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER!"

My legs hurt from all that sitting before we got here

>not a tongue-twister so the future generations get fucked up
plebs
Lenin alumíniummauzóleumának milleniumi lelinóleumozása.

Kinda brown, innit?

I wouldn't say anything.

My eyes would be full-open, shining, almost crying. I'd walk around with no direction. Then I'd lie down on the dust and look at the sky.

"With the money we spent getting me here we could have solved some real problems where it really matters: Earth."

>>5010394
Because money can easily solve the problems that need decades of work and a change in the way of life of everyone to solve them.

>>5009872
>proceeds to blast NMH discography in in glorious FLAC format so all the NASA and alien plebs will be enlightened to patrician taste

One small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind.

I would say where is my shotgun with a flashlight attached too it, it's only a matter of time.

>>5010426
I see what you did there...