/sci/ - Science & Math

>>4886718
The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of On Grammatology. He stormed out of the room crying those ironic post-modern crocodile tears. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, Michel Foucault, wished he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps and become more than an AIDS ridden sadomasochist interested in fisting. He wished so much that he had some kind of truth to hold on to, but he himself had written to disprove it!

The students applauded and all rolled into American universities that day and accepted Wittgenstein as the end of philosophy. An eagle named “Formal logic” flew into the room and perched atop the copy of "Principa Mathematica" and shed a tear on the hardcover. The last sentence of "Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus" was read several times, and Karl Popper himself showed up and demonstrated how dialectics is nothing but a means of justifying contradictions.

The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of the gay plague AIDS and his "books" were disregarded for all eternity.

The student was Bertrand Russell.

>>4886718
>>4886720
everytime

>>4886718
>>4886720
soooo is this criticising the science or advocating it?

>>4886743
it's an old copypasta making fun of the dogmatism of materialist scientism

>>>/phi/

Pretty accurate. Deal with it /lit/, you're worthless.

>>4886764
the best part that's probably genuinely what he pulled from it

>>4886764
>americans in charge of having an education

An atheist liberal pacifist democrat evolutionist muslim feminist socialist gay jew communist catholic unionist abortionist professor (and a member of the ACLU and NAACP) was bitching at a college class and she told the class that she was a strong independent menstruating womyn and she was going to prove that there is no GOD (peace be upon him). She screamed, “GAWD, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I’ll give you 15 human minutes, and I’m glad all those people died on 9/11! Also all men are rapists and I have abortions for fun.”

Ten earthling minutes went by. She kept taunting God (peace be upon him), saying, “Here I am, GAWD, if that is your real name. I’m still waiting. Is my strong, powerful, and financially independent vagina too much for your patriarchy? You stupid man!”

She got down to the last couple of minutes and a brave, patriotic, pro-life marine just returned from the War of Independence and honorably discharged and newly registered in every class backflipped up to the professor, hit her full force in the face with a spinning flying drop kick (with metal as fuck jet-boots on), and sent her flying from her platform through two panes of glass, two twin towers, a pile of cans, a young mother pushing a baby carriage, a nun and a pile of boxes. The professor struggled up, obviously shaken, with three broken legs, two broken arms, a broken jaw, a broken skull, 12 broken ribs, internal bleeding and a missing spine. She bitched, “What’s the matter with you? Why did you do that? Are you afraid of a strong beautiful negro womyn? You stupid Christian, I only worship my vagina!”

>>4886777
That marine replied, “GOD (peace be upon him) was busy watching over MY buddies engaged in combat in the coke wars (Never forget). So… he… sent… ME!”

The professor cried a single tear and said “I was wrong to want equal rights for homosexuals, women and minorities. Barry Hussain Osama is a Muslim socialist atheist and he hates America. I am now pro-life, pro-guns, and pro-capital punishment”. The professor then burnt her copy of Origin of the Species, shaved her legs, put her bra back on, and started to make the marine a sandwich. “If Trayvon Martin didn’t want to die he should not have been wearing a hoodie!”

“Welcome to the Republican Party” Said the Marine.

The students applauded and all registered with the Republican party that day and accepted Jesus as their lord and savior. An eagle named “Small Government” flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag (where it shed a single tear).

That professor was Richard Elizabeth Dawkins. That college class was The Beatles. That young mother was Sarah Palin. That nun was Michele Bachmann. That eagle was Ron Paul. That marine’s name? Albert Einstein.

>>4886777
>>4886778
pretty shit in comparison.

But Continental philosophy actually is about as silly as this pasta makes it out to be.

>>4886787
>/sci/ in charge of making an argument

>>4886792
You must not spend much time on /lit/ if you think /sci/ is worse at arguing than /lit/.

>>4886794
still waiting for an argument. typical dogmatics of scientism. you guys truly are worse than the fundamentalists

>>4886743
>>4886764

>hurr durr english majors are retarded
>can't recognize a fairly simplistic bit of satire

hilarious

>>4886787

the copypasta's relationship to postmodernism is as deep and accurate as its relationship to science.

>>4886799
"Philosophy" with no focus on clarity or rigor, divorced from an empirical grounding is never going to produce any valuable insights. Hence the lack of any valuable insights from post-war Continental philosophy.

>>4886808
>implying post-modernism isn't born from nihilism
>implying nihilism isn't the logical end of philosophy
>implying philosophy isn't dead

mad because your "knowledge" doesn't exist, sciencefag?

>>4886801
You are misusing the word "simplistic." Typical pretentious Continental faggot.

>>4886812
Why does /lit/ believe nihilism is a commonly held opinion among contemporary philosophers? It's not.

>>4886818
They don't. Furthermore, there are no decent contemporary philosophers. Actually, maybe Parfit. It's slim pickings for sure.

>>4886808

it doesn't have YOUR clarity and YOUR rigor. it is a different system that you will never come to understand until you take a step back from your own set of beliefs. and it has proven to be insightful and valuable to many political movements and many individuals, myself one of them. it has, in my view, empirical grounding by virtue of its explanatory and descriptive power over late-capitalist societies. it explains sociological phenomena better than any survey or scientist ever would, by describing logically how people act in practice.

you just jellymad

>>4886828
>late-capitalist
Marxist talking about explanatory power, huh? This should be hilarious, tell me more!

>>4886815

if you are saying that the OP's post is subtle and indirect satire, or too complicated to understand it as satire, then i think you actually might be retarded (and i don't mean this to be mean or insulting, i'm sincerely worried that you might be retarded)

>>4886837
Protip: "simplistic" does not mean "simple."

>>4886834

>late-capitalist
>implying that means im a marxist

let me break it down for you. late means "a long time after it started" and capitalist means "a system of free markets that uses capital"

do you understand now? i can use more simple and easy to digest language if this is too hard for you.

>>4886837
I'm so sick of scifags being unable to read or write properly. The amount of times friends in college have paid me to re-write their dissertations because they can't manage to write a comprehensible sentence is embarrassing. If you're going to study science, at least try and stay literate.

>>4886844
>"Late capitalism" is a term used by neo-Marxists to refer to capitalism from about 1945 onwards, with the implication that it is a historically limited stage rather than an eternal feature of all future human society. This period includes the era termed the golden age of capitalism.

>>4886839
simplistic [sɪmˈplɪstɪk]
adj
1. characterized by extreme simplicity; naive

>>4886845
I study chemistry but I know what you're talking about. Some of my peers don't even understand the basic sentence structure. It's painful to witness.

>>4886851
Do not try and agree with me by way of horrible sentence fragments, scifag. You are beneath me.

>>4886848
Yes. It means "excessively simplified." Not a characteristic of copypasta since they are not real arguments, just jokes/trolling attempts.

>>4886854

didn't say simplistic argument, i said simplistic (ie Colbert levels of) satire as opposed to something like Gulliver's Travels

>>4886858
Then you would want to use "simple."

>/sci/ being pedantic

this is great

>>4886847
Very typical of /lit/, to fail to even understand their own professed beliefs.

>>4886847

i can't use words other people came up with now?

>>4886860

oh i see. your a grammer nazi

>>4886853
Wow.
Tool.

>>4886867
>being this naive

only /sci/

>>4886868
It's difficult to imagine what you could mean by "late capitalism" without a Marxist perspective. Would certainly be an idea I've never heard of, and one that the philosophers you discuss do not hold.

A Christian Conservative Closeted homosexual lawyer professor and preacher doctor was teaching a class on Trickle-down economics.
'Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Reagan and accept he was the most highly created being that the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ.

At this moment, a brave, communist, handsome, pro-choice Spetznaz champion who had server 15 000 tours of duty who was charitable and hardworking, and fully understood the necessity of socialist revolution and fully supported all military decisions made by the USSR stood and held up a rock.

'How old is this rock?'

The arrogant professor smirked quite Conservatively and smugly replied, "5000 years you ignorant atheist."

'Wrong. It's been 4.6 billion years since the planet formed it, if it was 5000 years and creationism, as you say, is real...then it should be christian now."

>>4886880

fine. modern capitalism. and it's true that some continentals influenced by marx, but for every marxist concept they include in their theories, they reject a shit ton of others. they are not specifically marxist, and the marxists gave a lot of them flack for being anti-marxist in any case.

that aside, the descriptions of how societies will evolve were accurately predicted then, just reading about foucault's ideas of power or deleuze's conception of the control society make more sense than an economic theorist or politico trying to tell us how to fix the economy. they described modern day problems before they came to pass, and i've learned more about how society interacts with individuals by reading their theories than i have from school or tv or lesser books. science doesn't even try, which is fine, since science likes it when it's hard.

>>4886906

The lanky and irreputable professor was visibly shaken and dropped his copy of the Bible. He stormed out of the room with conservative crocodile tears streaming down his face.

The student all applauded and all registered Socialist that day and accepted Atheism. A bear named 'Communism' walked into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear upon the chalkboard. The Internationale was sung several times, and Karl Marx himself showed up and enacted class warfare across the country.

The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. After losing all of his stolen Christian gold he dies of the complications from an unaborted pregnancy and was tossed into a sea of nothingness.

The end.

>>4886913
Intuitive, unexamined ideas about sense over rigorous definition and empirical confirmation? You need to head to >>>/lit/.

>>4886929
>empiricism
>valid

read more

All permutations of the original copypasta aren't nearly as funny or clever.

Also Thomas Pynchon sucks. I just wanted to say that.

>>4886947
This is common knowledge

>>4886947
Which one is the original? I'm summer as fuck

>>4886949
Not on /lit/ it sure ain't
>>4886951
The OP is the original

>>4886966
I'm from /lit/ and it definitely is, you dumbass

do you even read?

>>4886975
You don't know what you're talking about, there are people sucking Pynchon's dick on there all the time. Gravity's Rainbow is to /lit/ what Neutral Milk Hotel is to /mu/

>>4886985
Nope. Lurk more, faggot. There are no books or authors universally liked on /lit/, and most of us on /mu/ think NMH are mediocre to good.