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/sci/ - Science & Math

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4685946 No.4685946 [Reply] [Original]

>knock knock knock "Penny?"
The crowd begins to stir, a few members are seen beginning to salivate and move about in their seats.
>knock knock knock "Penny?"
A few screams are let out in anticipation of the punchline. Members of the audience are seen rocking back in forth, grabbing the seat in front of them. The smell of blood and iron fills the set as people chew relentlessly on their knuckles.
>knock knock knock "Penny?'
Members of the audience begin to rip off their own lips as they wait in horrible, excruciating anticipation. A few fights erupt out of nervousness for the punchline. Rampant screaming, mixed with laughter is heard after each individual knock. Pregnant mothers punch their unborn children and prepubescent boys begin slapping their cocks on their seats and howling.
>"What is is Sheldon?"
>"Hi Penny."
What sounds as like a thousand balloons exploding is simply the lungs of the audience members as they let out the most ear piercing screech-of-a-laugh the Earth has beared witness too. Blood spills from their mouths and spurts out of their ears. The cumulative laughter from the members sends forth a shockwave that splits in two and circumnavigates the Earth, gaining momentum and force with every foot, not explainable to this day by modern science. The shockwaves of death and laughter converge again on the studio, shattering the earth beneath them into an unfillable chasm, which ruptures with molten lava that spews forth and burns the cast members alive. The pregnant women rip the fetuses out of their wombs for sacrifice to the newly risen Dark Prince, who shall bring forth a thousand years of darkness.

>> No.4685959
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4685959

>"Hi Leonard. What did you do today?"
The members of the audience leans forward, eyes agape, drying in the winds of desperation.
>"Nothing much, just went down to the comic store."
Their lips tremble as they let out a few, anticipatory howls of laughter. Any member who disturbs the scene of perfect solitude of pure comedy is thrown into the pit of desolation.
>"Well today I was playing a game."
>"Oh yeah, like what?"
>"W.o.W."
The audience members look lackluster for a split second before ripping their flesh apart from the comedic gold. Screams of laughter tear themselves apart, some shattering limb from limb. Eyeballs fall from their sockets as they gawk at the stage, screaming and bloodied. The combined, harmonious laughter converges into the resonate frequency of the Earth, ripping the building apart as the Earth begins to swallow the stage whole. The cast members grab hands and chant as they rise to the sky, becoming martyrs for their unmatched wit. Audience members form a human ladder to reach their idols as the entire building crumbles. Sheldon is grabbed by the foot and brought into the abyss, where his body is gorged by the audience who inherits his eternal glory and they let out a screech which forever deafens the world.

>> No.4685976

>Penny answers the door in her sexy Superwoman outfit
The audience members begin to salivate, woman, man, child and dog alike. Every person's pulse rises to a sprint.
>Penny picks up a pencil she sees lying in the hallway by her door.
The members get a glimpse of her golden, glowing breasts. A few men rise to their feet and make a mad dash to the woman, throbbing cocks unzipped from their pants. The security guards have difficulty in straining them and their pounding dicks.
>As Penny rises, her tits jiggle and glimmer in the beautiful lighting.
Every man and woman sprint to the stage, bare naked and lactating from their tits. Cumulatively, they cum all over the crew and audience. They bathe in their feces and bodily fluids. The crew is seen drinking the mixture and the semen fills their lungs as the building fills to capacity. Lungs erupt with the fluid, and bubbles form as those who drown in the cum laugh from below the flood. The building reaches capacity and the walls are destroyed, setting forth a flood of blood, cum, shit and piss to rage forth and destroy the filthy city nearby.

>> No.4685973
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4685973

>>4685959
I remember that episode! Best Ever!

>> No.4685975

If you don't like it STOP FUCKING POSTING THIS SHIT.

>> No.4685990
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4685990

>>4685946
STOP SPOILING THE FUCKING SHOW!
I haven't seen these episodes!

>> No.4685997
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4685997

>>4685976
Best episode ever

>> No.4686000
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4686000

>>4685946
This show makes me wet

>> No.4686011
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4686011

>>4685946
>implying Mitt Romney didn't already bring forth a thousand years of darkness

>> No.4686013

>Hey, Leonard!
The audience chortles a bit in anticipation of the coming joke. A young boy wets himself in hilarity after being exposed to the above morsel of witty dialogue.
>What do you want Sheldon?
Everybody at the CBS studio lot loses their composure in preparation for Sheldon's quip. A cameraman momentarily passes out due to a lack of oxygen from laughing so hard.
>I was just wondering if you wanted to play CoD tonight? It is Tuesday, after all.
The audience bursts out in immense laughter. Several people fall out of their chairs, including an elderly woman who breaks her hip in the process.
>No thanks, I'm not up for X Box tonight. Penny rejected me again.
The audience, taken aback by Leonard's sadness is quickly surged from one emotion to the next in this perilous Shakespearean script. They are quickly relieved by thinking about Sheldon's possible comic response. A tremor goes down the funny bone of the watching audience. Hilarity is about to ensue.
>That's ok. We can play it on the PS3.
The audience lets out a continuous 5 minutes of sheer laughter. Everybody within a 5 mile radius of the studio loses control of their bowels in the hilarity of joke. The stench causes Charlie Chaplin to rise from his grave and proclaim Sheldon to be the funniest person to ever live. Barack Obama commissions a picture of Sheldon's face to be chiseled into the moon so all of the world can be reminded of the show's comic genius.

>> No.4686030
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4686030

>>4686013
>>4685976
>>4685959
>>4685946

BEST FUCKING THREAD EVER. I HOPE THEY STICKY THIS AWESOME SHIT! THIS SHOW ROCKS! AND IS SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO FUNNY! I AM GONNA MASTERBATE TO IT NOW!

>> No.4686039
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4686039

MOAR MOAR MOAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!

>> No.4686045
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4686045

>>4685946
POST MOAR! My vagina is getting dry! NEED MORE SHELDON!

>> No.4686050

>Hey Sheldon!
*audience starts to chuckle*
>I was just playing video games
*Audience starts to laugh harder, some even start foaming at the mouth*
>I got a level up!
*Audience goes ape shit, some people die from laughter, then coming back as zombies, even the zombies laugh and kill themselves, and so on and so on*
>But then a dang Koopa hit me
*Audience of zombies sends a massive shock wave into space, destroying all planets in the solar system, but it goes beyond that, an alien race far far away hear this sound in an instant, it crushes their planets as well*
>But i'll show him
*Universe explodes with the dreaded shock wave of laughter*
>For I am Mario!
*God dies from the shock wave, thus the universe, the heavens and hell are all gone, all reality is torn, nothing exists anymore*

>> No.4686051
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4686051

>>4685946
The only way I can cum is to dress-up my girlfreind as Sheldon and re-enact scenes from the show.

>> No.4686053
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4686053

>>4686050
>God

Are you fucking 12? Grow the fuck up and stop acting like a child.

>> No.4686054

>>4686051
maxwell's equations is hottest. then the lorentz transform matrix

>> No.4686057

>>4685946
This thread needs more Big Bang Theory!

>> No.4686064

My boss and I often talk about TBBT in lab. He loves the show and I watch it often.

I'm a PhD student and he has a PhD from Oxford with several publications in Nature, Cell, Science, their derivative journals, and a solo author paper in PNAS.

The fact that you're so obsessed with hating this show is just sad.

>> No.4686069

>>4686064

Qualifications don't mean shit. If you like this show you're a retard with no sense of humour or taste.

>> No.4686072

>>4686069
your asbergers is showing

>> No.4686076

>>4686072
>Judging a person solely by the fact that they like one show
>>4686069
>asbergers

>> No.4686082

>>4686076

Who are you quoting?

>> No.4686136
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4686136

>>4686076