/sci/ - Science & Math

Wow

dude in my class asked what causes nuclear decays

LOL what an idiot, haha

>>4534478
Worst way to find out.

>>4534478
holy shit, I did this once in CSULB, made the entire class's jaws drop. I never told them I was just fucking with them but I remember having a hell of a laugh with a friend after class.

>>4534501
Lol def not the same school then

>>4534500
"Mom, dad, according to science dad isn't my real dad...."

I've been in hospital many times and have never been able to find out my blood type.

Why the fuck won't anyone tell me?

>>4534519
Agreed. I asked my doctor and he told me it would cost around $45 to find out. Either he's a dick or the system sucks.

>>4534519
because you're a robot and if you become aware of that you could rise up and overthrow the human race.

It is still possible that one or both of his parents are chimera, that is, are merged fraternal twins whose sperm were sourced from one twin and the blood from the other.

I think the book sperm wars claimed that 10% of all people are conceived while the sperm of two men are present in the woman.

4% of people are unknowingly raised by non-biological fathers.

But who knows if that book is right. A lot of hypotheses.

>>4534478

heard a similar story where some kid found out they were adopted from a gel electrophoresis lab. now they just do intron dna.

>inb4biologynotscience

>global warming

>theory that the earth's core is heating up

Don't worry, it wasn't a teacher. But still.

>>4534522
most blood banks will offer to tell you when you give blood

>>4534547
Any idea if you can give blood on levothyroxine?

inb4

>in bio class
>learning about the contents of ejaculate
>semen + fructose - a type of sugar
>girl puts hand up, "Why doesn't it taste sweet?"
>LOLOLOLOLOL

>>4534594
i lol'd

>>4534594

>>4534478
> Physics I:
> Professor starts saying something like "Oh Shit"
> Then starts talking about the difference between swearing at British and American universities
> The Brits swear a lot while the Americans never swear

> Mechanics:
> Professor encourages us to always ask questions whenever we feel so
> Asian girl sitting in the first row of the lecture hall is signaling the professor that she has a question
> Professor pays her attention
> Says the guy next to her was too shy to ask a question by himself
> Entire lecture hall has a laugh
> Electrodynamics:
> Professor introduces abstract index notation in the special relativity chapter
> One guy had problems getting familiar it during lecture
> Asks a question concerning index swapping on the special lorentz transformation <span class="math">\Lambda[/spoiler]
> By the looks on the professor's face, he automatically assumed that the student didn't know any Linear Algebra.
> Shocked by it he writes down two matrices with entries A,B,...,I and 1,2,...,9 and starts talking about what matrices are for ~ 10 seconds.

>Ordinary Differential Equations (= Real Analysis III):
>Professor holds a giant dildo shaped trash bin between his arms to explain us some definitions on the curved surface of it
>Professor was too slow in Real Analysis I that's why he's still doing stuff from Real Analysis II in our Ordinary Differential Equations course.
>Becomes enthusiastic about explaining to us submanifolds.
>Main theorem on submanifolds
>First explains us all five different formulations of the theorem using five sketches supposed to display submanifolds and the mapping, but however which all look pretty much the same

In electromagnetism
Professor talking about some shit
Mature age student raises hand
"How fast is the hubble telescope?"
"What?"
"How fast is the hubble telescope?"
"Why would I know that?"
Class continues

>>4534735
>Introduction to Theoretical Physics
>Professor is a former engineer who changed to the physics department since his one closed
> Lecture usually quite boring
> Professor starts talking about pistons in gas filled tubes
> Me and guys next sitting to me think all as piston as an euphemism for penis
> Professor starts talking about the piston moving and illustrates it with hand movements
> Further uses a wording which emphasizes the mechanics of it
> We break out in shy laughter.

>first applied maths tutorial
>talking about some so called paradoxes in SR
>professor, complete socially inept geek, farts

>>4534751
>2012
>not knowing the speed of the Hubble telescope
what *do* you learn in your classes?

My Radio Therapeutic teacher.
>Homeopathic medicine work.
But isn't it just water that supposed to remember the stuff that it came in contact with?
>Not that part.

I expected more from a guy like.

>>4534785
What? What is Radio Therapeutics anyway?

>>4534512
"you're not my mum either"

>>4534478
A kid asked whether anal meant the baby came out of your ass... three days before the GCSE paper.

Ooh, also we had someone ask if methane was CH4, and octane was C8H18, Sugarcane was C6H11O6CH3. Not sure if they were serious

>>4534785
>Radio theraputics
>woo

How did you study evidence that doesn't exist?

>>4534594
>>4534599
>>4534617
samefag, your pasta is stale.

>>4534789
cancer treatment

>>4534798
All of this depresses me.

>>4534798
would be funnier if used sucrose's formula

>>4534767
>tutorial
>farting professor

oxford?

>>4534478
It is possible but is very unlikely. Mutations in both parents for an enzyme that attaches the A and B groups, effectively making them seem recessive. Son inherits A and B but has workin enzyme. Mutations for this enzyme are like 1/100k but due to shit like this blood type is no longer the goto for paternity tests.

>>4534831
UCL

he was a good guy, applied knot theory to coronal ejections

>>4534838
Still grounds for the 'father' to ask for a paternity test if the blood types fail to match up like that.

Math prof went to the toilet and forgot to turn off the remote microphone.

The entire lecture hall was dying in laughter hearing him piss.

>>4534845
Just be glad he wasn't teaching natural logs.

>>4534594

> Professor stops for a moment, taken aback, then adds with a wry smile "It doesn't taste sweet, because the taste-buds for sweetness are on the tip of your tongue"

>>4534845
inb4 sued for sexual harasment

you fucking americans and your sick society

>Be in first year Statistic class
>Week 11 out of 12 in the semester
>Going over review for the final exam
>A girl in the back puts her hand up
>"What is the symbol you just wrote?"referring to the Sigma symbol
>Teacher looks at her shocked as we have been using this symbol from week 1
>Asks who else doesn't know what it is
>Half the class puts their hand up

>>4534870
This is also wrong. Damn /sci/ you sure do suck at bio.

>>4534913
us biologists are a hunted race, nearly as close to extinction as the noble engineer, which will eventually die out due to its refusal to mate with a heterosexual partner.

Oh wow, either a misunderstanding or shit parents, or both.

>>4534870
shit its 6th grade myth

>>4534478
yo, i need some references on heritability of blood type. i'm going to do some snooping into my genetics

>>4534876

aaahahahahahahaha....half the people probably didn't come to the first class, or if they did, weren't paying attention. People tend not to ask questions.

so I'm type o.
if my 'dad' is AB he ain't my fatha
do i have this correct?

Remember that science experiment where you take a cotton swab of your saliva and put it under a microscope to see the bacteria that lives in your mouth? A girl in my class got really excited and called the teacher over to her microscope thinking she discovered a new kind of organism. It was sperm.

This is a totally fake story I heard somewhere, it's probably an urban legend, but I thought you'd get a kick out of it.

>>4534937
They didn't come because it is one of the few classes in the uni where the lecturer doesn't enforce compulsory attendance. But the kicker is that we had been doing weekly quizzes which in total were due 30% of our total mark in which Sigma plus many other symbols had been in. So not knowing a basic one pretty much makes me think they failed the fuck out of an easy 30%.

>>4534594

Actually if you eat lots of fruit, it can taste sweet-ish.

HS, Freshman Physical Science Class.
Teacher came up with the most fucking hilarious questions I've ever seen.

I remember one about a garfish and a giant squid having a final battle for the universe or something.

About 10% of people have different fathers than they think they do. This has been confirmed in many genetic studies, usually a side discovery of research into genetically transmitted ailments, which involved taking DNA samples of thousands of people and their parents.

>First year Computer science
>There is about 200 people in the lecture hall
>The lecturer always asks rhetorical questions in class
>Aspie at the back of the lecture hall always shouts out the answers to the rhetorical questions
>Due to his autism he can't comprehend that it is not socially acceptable
>Everyone mocks him and laughs at him
>Due to his autism he thinks everyone is laughing with him and giving him complements

>>4534519
it's a specific test to find out the blood type, so it's not done unless necessary

>In high school science class - can't remember which grade
>The chapter we are doing is sexual reproduction
>Stupid girl asks if you can loose your virginity by masturbation

Grade 10 science when my teacher explained that space exploration was just a worthless stunt that wasted money, just so we can look at some dirt in space. Then went on to say that all that money should instead go towards exploration of the oceans. She didn't explain why. I guess she just loves oceans.

She was a good teacher otherwise, and I enjoyed the way she mocked the stupidity of creationism.

>>4535045
You are laughing, he is happy. Everyone wins.

>>4535060

Reminds me of that diving bell man who posts on here from time to time.

>>4535059
>yfw you realize that she just started masturbating back then

>>4535046

Seriously? We did it in middle school science class.

>>4535066
Yes, that was what made it funny

>>4535059
what's unfortunate is that she was probably told that for some ignorant reason by her parents/church

it's a great thing she asked, not everyone gets good sex ed at home, my parents constantly denied my participation in sex ed until deep into high school and failed to properly educate me

I had to find out everything from the library, and assholes like you treated me like shit because I was so sheltered

the concept of virginity is also subject to social definition as well as the clinical application

>>4535066
>yfw you realise her dad probably told her that to stop her from masterbating until she was 21 so she wouldnt ruin her life with children at 16 years old.

>>4535045
>yfw when you realise you prioritised social acceptability over academic learning making you a fuckton less intelligent than the person you laughed at

>mfw Im in physics lecture and the professor starts ranting about the babylonians creating the system of time (60 secs in a min, 60 mins in an hour) for 45 minutes until someone asks "why did they use base 60?" and he responds "because they are 365 days in a year!" To which the student replies "but 60 doesnt go into 365" to a roar of laughter.

>>4535078
How often do you masturbate your cunt?

Not related to science class but still funny

>Be 17 in english class
>Our desks are arranged in groups
>There are five of us in a group
>Extremely hot/cute girl sitting next to me
>The only problem is her cunt stinks
>Everyone in the group can smell her vagina
>It smelt like dead fish
>The girl somehow cannot smell it her self

>>4534858

That is brilliant

>>4535115

>This is my fetish.

>>4535115
she probably got laid during recess

>discussing Cloning in middle school biology
>i mention shortened telomeres contributing to premature "aging"
>teacher obvioulsy has no idea what telomeres are and gets angry at me

>>4535238
sad that

good teachers aren't insecure and admit ignorance.
bad teachers dismiss knowledge outside of their own ability
really bad teachers get butt hurt and blame student about it

High school professor:

"I'll explain you a trick! If a=1 you don't need to multiply a*c"

> facepalm

(I swear she was not ironic)

My German teacher once told me that Philosophy was a serious science.

>>4535254
wait so....what?
Sorry I went to an american highschool. We haven't seen that yet.

>>4535254
wait.. what's wrong with that?

What could c be that changes the outcome?

>>4535270
>>4535266
Wait, you're serious, aren't you?

>>4535080
>mfw Im in physics lecture and the professor starts ranting about the babylonians creating the system of time (60 secs in a min, 60 mins in an hour) for 45 minutes until someone asks "why did they use base 60?" and he responds "because they are 365 days in a year!" To which the student replies "but 60 doesnt go into 365" to a roar of laughter.
What's the joke? I don't understand either.

>>4535283

There isn't one. The entire audience consisted of insecure autists who lack a sense of humour. One of them took a chance that the student was making a stupid remark, so started to laugh so as to look smart to the prof. The rest of them, not wanting to miss the bandwagon, all joined in, leaving that one student feeling like a moron, and the professor cursing the fact that he is stuck lecturing these imbeciles.

>>4535285
Yeah, this shit happens every other week or so.

>>4535274
Well, help me out here, I can't think of any value to plug in for c that will get a result other than 1.
Just name off a couple please

>>4535283
well 60 doesnt go exactly into 365, what was funny was the proffesors facepalm as he literally walked out of the hall.
>>4535285
wrong.

>>4535274
Oh shit I thought it was a^c not a*c

My mistake, wouldn't be multiply anyway in that case.

>>4535290
>well 60 doesnt go exactly into 365, what was funny was the proffesors facepalm as he literally walked out of the hall.
Well either you let out some important details or your professor is a pretentious fuckcunt for doing that.

>>4535270


Err... it's not wrong... it's... obvious...

>>4535290

There aren't 24 hours in a day and there are not 365 days in a year.

>>4535296
Not only for that, he was the kind of guy that would rant in every lecture, hed be in the middle of talking about velocity and would try and use some metaphor or real life example and then get angry at his own example and spend the rest of the lecture shouting about it.

He also went absolutly nuts if you got simple maths wrong but refused to accept that he had written an equation wrong.

He was a massive fuckcunt and 70% of the class failed, the only reason I didnt is because I was taught it all before I got there, a load of us would go straight from that class to the closest bar and sit drinking and laughing at the lessons whilst they would try and figure out what had actually been said that was physics.

>>4535302
thats the point, we had been sitting listening to him for fucking ages about this, and tbh I think its a fair question, why use base 60 if it doesnt actually accuratly divide into the number of hours and days.

At that point we had lost all respect for him as he continually showed no respect or even common decency to us.

when more than half a class fails an exam, the lecturer blames the students for not studying

this is in 3rd year engineering

what the fuck, who employs people who cant teach, seriously?

>>4535333
in universities lecturers and professors are employed for academic ability, not teaching skills.

it's sad but true

>>4535333
Is the class taught by someone who is not an engineer? Because if so it's obvious you will never meet his standards.

>>4534522
No, it's a reasonable pricing.
$1 for a drop of Antigen A
$1 for a drop of Antigen B
$43 for a doctor to stab your finger, and drip a little of your blood into the Antigen A and the Antigen B, then look at it in a few minutes.

And there's your pricing scheme.

>>4535334
>>4535335

My Mechanics of Concrete Lecturer is so fucking terrible. We have these 2 hour lectures. On Monday he just talks about some bullshit about how the industry is corrupt and how the standards are wrong. He uses a projector to show us PDFs which are fucking unreadable for the people sitting behind the first 3 rows. He doesn't have any cursor on Adobe Reader, so no one knows what the fuck this man is on about. This is in a lecture theater with 300 seats. He uses the whiteboard and has illegible writing which is again unreadable beyond the first 3 rows of seats. 90% of the lecture is this person just babbling about some inane irrelevant shit. On Wednesday its literally the same shit. Except this time there are tutors in the room. The tutors don't even prepare for the tutorial. You ask them a question and they just say "I don't know, I haven't looked at the tutorial".

Literally fucking stupid bullshit where a lecturer makes an easy subject hard. And for kicks, he told us to buy a textbook that is 'riddled with errors' according to him.

>>4535364
>BAAWWWW

Grow up.

>>4534478
why is this funny?

>>4535377
It's certainly sad.

>>4535377
It's funny because it's sad to somebody else

>>4535377
the guy had to learn his parents werent his parents as an adult in bio class.

Thats hilarious if your the kind of person that has no empathy or if the person its about is generally detestable.

Assholeworker1 "i have cancer"
worker2 "lol you fucking asshole you deserve it, is it rectal?"

>>4535369

>nothing is ever bad just deal with it that's what real men do

>>4535385
It has been an oft-repeated joke for far longer than the "why doesn't sperm taste sweet, then?" one.

>be at work
>manager calls our team of 35 people into the meeting room, all ages, colours and creeds.
>tells us there was an accident report for someone tripping over their own shoelaces
>proceeds to demonstrate how to tie shoes to people as old as 60
>wonders why everyone starts laughing

My Academy is on a peninsula with a population of about 1500 (including the college) and it's also about 85% male.

*In Engineering Chemistry. Student thinks he has a chemical burn on his hand from the previous week's lab.*

Student: "It's either the acids/bases we were using in lab or the lotion I was using last night. Probably the lotion.."
Professor:”I guess you could sue the school technically since the lotion incident happened on campus..”
Student:”well not that incident.. I’ve had many lotion incidents.. It’s a lonely town…”

>>4535440
i lol'd when i heard it out loud in my head

>girl asks unrelated question
>"if an atomic bomb explodes directly on the border between two countries, what country would be destroyed?"
>class is in silent awe after witnessing something stupid like this
>professor screams at her for asking such a stupid question and kicks her our

> funniest

Freshman, Physics I class, first day.

Professor: so, if an elephant and a rock with equal weight are falling from a tower, which one falls faster?
Student: It their weight is the same, they hit the ground at the same time.
Professor: FALSE! Don't you see the elephant has ears to fly with?

>>4535453
>someone is curious, wants to know things
>punish them for it
>disapprove of them for not knowing things

Oh, human race.

>>4535481

> borders
> human society construct

>>4535481

Did you even read the question?

>>4535481

There's "being curious" and "refusing to extend any basic consideration in formulating sensible questions that are pertinent to the subject and aren't brain farts".

bump in the name of Laughter

>>4534927
Sixth graders get all kinds of confused about the taste of semen.

>>4535078
>it's a great thing she asked, not everyone gets good sex at home, my parents constantly denied my participation in sex until deep into high school and failed to properly educate me

that my physics teacher couldn't answer my questions that he called me brilliant for asking because they dealt in quantum physics when we were doing "perfect situations" when we didn't even know if the things we were supposed to be figuring out were being done in a vacuum when the correct answers would suggest they were so i intentionally failed but he wanted me to come back for physics 2 so he gave me a bullshit research project to do to save my grade last minute, didn't do it, enjoyed my winter break instead.

>>4534594
Girls asks a legitimate question without being embarassed about her sexuality.

>>4534599
>>4534617
Virgin faggots laugh at her and still wonder why they're virgins.

>>4535453
>>professor screams at her for asking such a stupid question and kicks her our
This didn't happen.

>>4535822
Most professors are narcissistic, jaded, egotistical assholes. You'll learn this soon enough.

>>4535882
While your generalization is applicable to many professors, that behavior is the type that could cause you to be fired from a tenured position.

It didn't happen.

An earth sciences class with a hermaphroditic teacher who basically disregarded the lesson plan and turned the course into his/her personal podium from which to convince all of us that because hermaphrodites exist, gender is a social construct and a spectrum rather than binary. I wrote in a paper that a statistically insignificant number of people born with birth defects did not invalidate the biological fact of gender duality and that she was making inappropriate use of class time for personal philosophical reasons.

I was called into the dean's office the next day and subtly threatened with expulsion on the grounds that I had violated the tolerance policy.

>>4535904
How is correcting someone on a medical issue intolerance? And how is punishing people for having views other than what you expect them to tolerance?

If they did expel you, you should have taken them to court on it.

Well there was this smelly east indian girl in my grade 8 science class who was so gross she would stink up the whole room after a few minutes.

So one day I brought her a stick of deoderant, a bar of zest and a jar of water so she knew what it looked like and offered these items to her and she had a shitfit and the teacher came over and found out what was going on, took the items, put them on his desk and kept them there all day.

Apparently whenever anybody asked about what that stuff was doing on his desk he explained with a big smile while everybody busted up laughing.

And so I never pissed in his fishtank again.

>>4535888
>It didn't happen.
This might surprise you but people have done stuff that can get them fired.

>>4534478
i had a similar occurrence in a bio class in high school. some kid or chick (don't remember) found out she was adopted

>some girl asks what the density of water is
>the teacher says it depends what state it's in
>she says what if it's in California

>>4535945
did the class burst out in laughter?

>>4535948

yes

>>4535951
That's actually a prime stupid Americans joke

>>4535078
>>4535078

Cry more, pussy.

>>4535970
So that's what the forever alone virgins did after school.

>be genius
>math teacher buys pizza for three students who stayed after school
>lets me cut the pizza for the other two students
>i cut the pizza using two horizontal "chords" so that each slice as a seemingly "different" size but the same area
>we all have a good laugh when we eat the pizza and prove that the area of the each chunk of pizza has the same area on the board

>in high school calculus class
>doing differentiation
>teacher goes "what's the derivative of x^x"?
>girl goes "wouldn't it be (x-1)x^(x-1)?
>I laugh out loud so hard and uncontrollably that I fall out of my chair
>teacher, while trying to hold back laughter, tells me to "get the hell out" and he'll "see me after class"
>pack up my stuff and leave the class room while still laughing really noisily

>>4535970
i honestly hope that that (like many other greentext stories on 4chan) never happened

holy shit and i thought i was a forever alone beta virgin

>>4535990
What makes you think we were forever alone beta virgins?
Just because we're smart doesn't mean we're beta, forever alone, or virgins.

The reason we were there was because we got detention and were undergoing an after school disciplinary program. At the end of each week, we'd get pizza if we showed progress.

All three of us were in the gifted program.

I was there because I lived far away from home and stole (borrowed) peoples bikes to get home. Then, when I got back to school, I'd chain them back up.

The other guy was there because he regularly got blowjobs on school property and was caught participating in a double blowjob in the girls' bathroom.

The final one was there because he got drunk in class (because it was boring) and had sex with a girl on school property.

I wasn't caught doing promiscuous things like that because I had a girlfriend already (and still have the same one, in fact).

We're smart - not beta/forever alone/virgins. Don't believe movie stereotypes, guys.

>>4535970
>teacher molests and viciously rapes all three of us

you forgot that part

>>4534751
what a fucking stuck up asshole

is it so hard to say

"i can't remember right now but i'll check it up and get back at you"

or

"why?"

or

"i don't remember but you can go to nasa's website and it shows the tracker"

or if he was a good prof he'd know the HST is an LEO object, and knowing it's acceleration plus an estimative of it's mass ~20,000lbs he could calculate it in 10s

that's why students are less and less interested in classes nowadays and then professors get burnout complaining at how students only care about grades and passing, i know he has to stick to the program but maybe the student had a point (which he never made it because the prof cut him lose) or even if he didn't the prof doesn't have to be a fucking robot

>>4535999
Apparently you are unaware of the workings of the internet friend. Nobody cares about you, or your strange lies.

>>4536009
No, it's because students think that being smart = having lots of pointless knowledge.

Use common sense - why the fuck would a professor know such a stupid useless fact like that?

>>4535999
wow after reading all that you really do sound like the next ramanujan, i rest my case.

you can go back to being molested by your pedo math teacher now.

>>4536016
>jealous forever alone neckbeard that is envious of my sexual, criminal, and social conquests as well as my intelligence and dapper charisma

What else should I have suspected from 4chan?

>>4536025
you're not only a genius but also a badass, wow i'm so jealous of you, you must get a lot of pussy, i bet one of your 5 top model gfs is blowing you right now as we talk

>>4536009
You don't need the mass. The relevant numbers are the orbit radius and gravitational field. So 10 m/s^2 and on the order of 10^7 m for the radius for an order-of-magnitude estimate of 10^4 m/s.

>>4536015
You're missing the point, entirely.

>In spanish class
>Teacher asks "fun fact: what is the biggest cash crop of Iran?"
>One student says "oil?"

I couldn't believe it. It was in tenth grade and I had been going to school with her since seventh, so I've heard some stupid shit from her, but this blew my mind.

>Same class, different day
>Filling out worksheets
>"What does la computadora mean?"
>Bertstares everywhere

>>4536039
That's right. Admitting you are jealous of me and my badassery is the first step to becoming badass yourself.
I DO actually get a lot of pussy from my gf and on the side.

You could learn a lot from me.

>>4535980
Did she say <span class="math">(x-1)x^{x-1}[/spoiler] or <span class="math">x \cdot x^{x-1}[/spoiler]? The latter would make sense (even though it's wrong, of course), and might have been what she was going for even if it wasn't what she said. It's perfectly valid to think of <span class="math">x^x[/spoiler] as <span class="math">y^z[/spoiler] with x substituted in for both y and z; you can then differentiate assuming the base and exponents are constants and put the results together with the chain rule to obtain <span class="math">x \cdot x^{x-1} + \ln x \cdot x^x[/spoiler] which simplifies to <span class="math">(\ln x + 1) x^x[/spoiler]. The only thing that's wrong with <span class="math">x \cdot x^{x-1}[/spoiler] is that it's missing the term due to the varying exponent.

>>4534785
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVV3QQ3wjC8&feature=youtu.be

Graduated with a degree in biology (yeah, inb4 "not science") at a "Christian" university. Non of the profs actually believed in shit like that, but the student body had a sprinkling of crazy.

Day 1 Bio 300 something Ecology and Evolutionary Biology.
>Prof starts talking about gene flow.
>Student raises hand.
>Prof: "Yes?"
>Student, "If I were to release this pencil from my hand what would you expect to happen?"
>Prof: "What are you talking about... it would fall. Why?"
>Student: "But according to gravity there's a tiny chance it will float. If that tiny chance doesn't happen you can't expect me to believe the incredibly small chance that life evolved from random chemicals."
>Collective facepalm followed by professor providing a week-long bitchslap on abiogenesis.

Here's one from Physics class. I was in intro physics with a few other pre-meds. One of who was a rather rude kid named Alan.
>Professor is going off on a rather cool Bill Nye like tangent into Brownian motion.
>Alan raises hand. Prof: "Yes alan?"
>Alan: "Why are we talking about this? Is this gonna be on the test?"
>Prof: "You know why I love teaching this class, Alan?"
>Alan: "Why?"
>Prof: "It keeps dumbasses like you out of medical school."
>Class laughs
Guess which one of us got into medical school...

>English Class

>>4536078
One more.

Taking some seminar course on Science and Religion. One of about 3 atheists in the course.
Simple shit, we read some Lewis, Polkinghorne, Popper, etc. and talk about it with a few long papers. Having completed my shit, I'm just taking it for fun.

>Somehow idiotic classmate has managed to survive college this far (some bullshit humanities degree).
>Finally pipes up, "I can't believe any of these scientists would buy that evolutionary darwanism [sic]."
>Whole class looks at him, stunned. Not a single author has gone on to argue AGAINST evolutionary theory, so this comes out of left field.
>"I don't think this stuff could hold up in any debate."
>I raise my hand, "I'll debate him, prof." I'm weeks away from getting my degree in Evo Bio.
>Professor thinks it's a good idea
>Next week, I've prepared a number of possible responses, basic arguments, etc. I'm expecting a Behe-like ID argument.
>His first slide: "Evolution: If Humans Came from Chimpanzees, then why are there Chimpanzees?"
>MFW
>He recycles Kent Hovind arguments.
>Thank fuck I prepared for that sort of crazy.

The kid failed out a little while later. He told me in a coffee shop that he was praying for my soul to be freed of .. no joke... "The Demon named Darwin."

>>4536078

Was it Alan?

>>4536109

>>4536106
>Thank fuck I prepared for that sort of crazy.

Jesus, where do you even start?

>>4536106
>>4536078

>>4536122
When the class starts giggling as you re-iterate your opponent's points... well... you get the picture.

I watched Hovind lectures a while ago on a dare. I took a few notes on some crazy points and looked up the actual numbers to find out just *how wrong* the guy was. I didn't realize I'd get to use them again.

>>4536122
Well, not the same guy but I'd actually explain to him how evolution works. The whole "how are chimpanzees still around if we came from them?" thing was covered in an interview by Dawkins as well.

>>4536133
i have no idea how to interpret this gif
what the fuck does it even mean?
is it neck-beard approval

can we revive this?

my stat mech prof explaining the history behind the theorems better than the actual theorems....

I'm going to retake the class next year he is on sabbatical... He is great in his field, but doesn't know how to teach for shit. He only does it for the title of professor.

He used to teach solid state and condensed matter, but so many students complained he was forced into stat mech.

I don't know how much the classes cost, but i'm sure they're expensive (totally funded student) so who the fuck wants to waste their time and money just so a guy can satisfy his superiority complex

>>4534519
>>4534522

donate blood, they will tell you what type you have

>first day of the semester
>sitting outside math class
>fat kid has his legs like /\
>~~about 15mins before the class starts, lady walks past in the hallway
>fat kid gets tired of supporting his legs in the /\ position, they drop.. flat and take up half the hallway
>the lady trips
>class starts, the lady he tripped was the teacher

--------------------------------

>Astro class, professor is trying to set up his laptop to the projector
>Working behind the desk to plug everything up
>stands up with his hand around his wrist
>"Well, I seem to have cut myself"
>holding wrist starts lechure
>stops halfway though first slide
>"well, i'm bleeding all over the floor. I should probably go to the clinic...."
>notes will be emailed ~ walks out

>what if we could go the speed of light
>we can't
>but what if we could would there be aliens?

My first-year bio teacher was quite a character. He really didn't follow much of the course material, but I enjoyed his lectures. On day, probably some time during the first month, he stopped what he was saying, mid-sentence, and ran out of the room with a pained expression. After about 2 minutes, he casually walked back into the class, explained to everyone that he had just pushed his hernia back in and continued the lecture.

This went on all year. Sometimes he'd get a student to grab him a rolling chair, and he'd casually push himself out the door. Nobody was laughing, but god was it funny.

>>4537754
Martin Adamson

>>4534519
In my country your blood type is written on your ID and on your Driver's License, I believe in case of accidents.

It's really weird for me to think that some people don't even know their blood type.

>In second year quantum physics and relativity class
>Professor is explaining how to derive the speed of light

>Writes down the law of cosines as an example to compare with the current formula on the board

>a kid raises his hand and explains that he hasn't taken calculus II so he doesn't know what the professor is doing

>chick across the room hollers " try math 30" (highschool)

>everyone's face when

Gavin Matesich

>>4537759
HAHA that's unbelievable. Yep. That was him. I take it you had him too? When?

I know a lot of people hated him, but honestly, he was one of my favorite profs. I actually realized I had an interest in Bio.

>>4536109
>>4536109
>>4536109

Lol I don't know why this made me laugh so much, but thank you anon

A few real stories:

>Professor wants to demonstrate nanofiltration membranes for water treatment. Takes actual wastewater from a plant, pours it into a container, and throughout class the water comes out clear at he bottle. After an hour, he can get a full cup. He takes a sip to show how good the membranes are, then immediately begins vomiting. he forgot that activated carbon is needed to get rid of taste and smell.

>Girl in Geology 107 thought that you could drive a car from Los Angeles to Beijing. not knowing that an ocean separated the US from China.

> Anthropology professor comes to class high off pharmaceuticals, and talks about Bonobo sex for the entire class. "Throw a banana into a cage with chimps, and they'll fight each other for it. Throw it in a cage with a few male Bonobos, and they'll have sex with each other before dividing the banana into equal parts to share". His policy on office hours was that if his dog didn't poop in the morning, he wouldn't be there for morning office hours.

>>4537772
This isn't the first discussion about him to take place on /sci/. Had him last semester. Talked to him a couple times about other courses. Cool dude.

>>4537783
Hah. That's really funny. I must've been in the same class last semester, unless he taught more than one. I never got much of a chance to talk to him unfortunately, mostly because I was first-year/not really motivated to talk to my professors. Unfortunate.

Small world though.

>>4537794
Yeah he was auditing a class I had this term and I ended up sitting beside him a few times.

>>4534526

Only if both his parents were chimeras.

>In Ecology class
>Subject of obligate parasitism comes up.
>Someone asks the professor: "If you have a tapeworm and you hold a piece of steak to your mouth, would the tapeworm come out to bite it?"
>Professor answers honestly
>MFW this whole event transpired.

>>4537782
Sounds like an entertaining learning environment.

>Last week
>Day before a test
>"What's transcription?"
>Prof: "The last day to drop was last week..."

>>4534594
Ah, I miss bash

A friend told me this story:

>high school biology class
>teacher had the students swab the inside of their mouths and make slides out of them
>teacher gets ready to put them up on a screen via some kind of projector
>a girl is up first
>teacher puts up her slide
>sperm are wiggling around on the slide
>entire class freezes for a moment
>girl tries to jump in front of the screen, as if it would help
>teacher immediately removes the slide and starts going on about something else
>friend talks to her boyfriend, and she had given him a blowjob the night before

>>4537868
fairytale

>>4537874
Apparently, it actually happened. Someone who was in his class overheard us at lunch that day and confirmed it. I guess it could have been complete BS... even so, it was funny to hear.

>>4537880
If the girl gave a blowjob to the guy minutes before class then maybe. The night before? No way.

There are digestive enzymes in saliva...

⃝ ⃝ ⃝ ⃝. ⃝ ⃝ ⃝ ⃝
>6th grade earth science class (serious business)
>teacher asks what we think rocks are made of
>kid raises hand
>"artificial orgasms"
>teacher gives him 'the talk' after class

AP physics in high school

>Teacher was a stud, football coach, thought the girls loved him. Explains to us that seasons are caused by the parabolic orbit of the earth around the sun. Smiles real big like "See? Science is great!"

Me and one other girl in the class knew BS.

>>4534844

Wow /sci/, I am disappoint. Anyone who thinks the kid in OP needs a paternity test is stupid. Occam's Razor says he was adopted, much more likely than TWO extremely rare mutations or physiological events. If both of his parents are type O, neither can realistically be a biological parent.

Leave all that mysogony shit in /b/ or /r9k/.

I didn't hear this but apparently in one of my friends class, junior year of college.
>mid-level science class
>kid raises hand
>does it matter if we multiply right to left or left to right?

My high school biology teacher was a new-earth creationist.
Yep.
It was really fun "learning" about evolution from him. He stopped every 5 minutes to spout off stuff about how "it's only a theory" and shit.
Unfortunately most of the kids in that class believed everything he said.

>>4534949
Did that lab in biology and every single kid made that joke at least once. I think it's the first thing anyone thinks of when looking at a high school girl's saliva under powerful magnification.

>>4537874
Probably not true, but theoretically possible. Sperm can survive in the vagina for a few days. The journey from the balls to the egg takes at least that long. The mouth is nice and warm and moist, perfect conditions for sperm and also why blowjobs feel good.
Semen is also basic, which neutralizes acids in the vagina, protecting the sperm. It's totally possible that there could be a few stragglers, especially if it was a morning class and she blew him late at night.

>>4538025

Was it linear algebra? Then yes, yes it does.

>>4538088
Well yea for matrices it matters. but no it was normal multiplication he should've learned a long time ago.

>>4534876

mfw I did first year stats and it was pretty much the same

I did well too, but looking back, I don't think I ever bothered to find out what the sigma actual means...

>>4535790
Holy shit look at that run on sentence, reading your horrible writing style felt like i stapled my testes to the wall and did a backflip

>>4538040
Same here, and in fact, he showed us the peanut butter man movie. Seriously. His name was Mr. Harris and we all called him Mr. Hairless because the fucker was bald well before his 40s.

>in Physics lecture
>Lecturer constantly mocks biologists
>i after class i ask him what he thinks about sociology
>"Universities need to make money somehow" with a stone serious face

>today in astronomy
>kid asks "so if the expansion of the universe is accelerating, what happens when it reaches the speed of light?"

>>4535999

> uses "beta" as a meaningful term for humans
> /sci/
facepalm.jpg

"What is closets to earth - sun or moon?"

>>>9th grad government class
>>>watchinging popular movie about Cuban missile crisis
>>>scene showing a submarine in taveling underwater
>>>dumb fucking girl: what is that?
>>>teacher: what
>>>girl: that
>>>teacher: a submarine
>>>girl: is it a bomb?
>>>teacher: a submarine... Like a boat that goes unerwater
>>>girl: so its a bomb?

She wa fourteen years old and had never heard of a submarine

>>4538304
Whats wrong with this question? Its pretty fucking amazing that the universe is in fact expanding faster than the speed of light (or at least fast enough that light headed straight towards you will never reach you)

>>4538402
A bomb?

Got one, done by me prof was the source of laughter

>First day bio 224 (deals with evolution)
>300 people in lecture
>Prof welcomes us to the class
>I stand up and shout "If God was invented by humans, then why do so many Biblical stories involve his punishment of humans that went astray? Wouldn’t humans rather create a God that allows them to get away with whatever they want?"
>whole class is completely silent waiting for him to answer
>he murmurs "well we aren't here to discuss that"
>i say "because you're a fool and you don't know"
>whole class starts laughing at him
>i leave but as I leave I remind them not to let them be taught by fools
>never went back
>proudest day of my life

>>4538531
0/10

>>4538531
>proudest day of my life
Well yeah, if the story is actually true, it's pretty obvious that you haven't achieved much in your life and probably never will.

>>4538532

>>4538539
I can raise you to 1/10, I thought it was too obvious but this retard believed it might have been true
>>4538537

>>4538542
>this retard believed it might have been true
Only because I witnessed something like this happen once, not as bad, but still...it happens.
;_;

>Why would such a person be posting on /sci/?
Happens too, dunning kruger effect etc.

>>4535790

I'm pretty sure your professor was being sarcastic.

Don't feel bad though, it's hard to be intelligent when one is constantly low on oxygen due to run-on speech.

>>4538531
I don't get it, is it supposed to be a like the emacs 'pasta?

i was in science class when i got a text from my mom telling me that my grandma died

>>4538531
If 4chan is anonymous, why lie about the size of your penis?

>>4538674
because I can
I have sex all the time btw

http://chanarchive.org/request_votes

CTRL+F /sci/

>>4538703
http://archive.installgentoo.net/sci/thread/4534478

>>4537868
i don't think sperm can survive in the mouth for that long.

>middle school
>first year of Physics
>lesson is sort of about thermodynamics but teacher eventually starts talking randomly about astronomy and shit

>"is the universe really infinite?"
>some student girl answers "we will never know, the size is just uncomprehendable to the human mind"

>teacher tells story about how some people sold a martian meteorite for millions
>"why was it so pricy?"
>kid says "mars minerals have the atomic structure of gold"

>same kid later tells us about japanese cars that can go at the speed of light
>illustrates it by turning on the light switch
>"Just like that!"

>"why does the sun combust if there is no air in space?"

>teacher asks jokingly "what would reach Earth faster - a sound from Mars or light from the Sun?"
>entire class starts calculating

What a lesson. I don't know how the teacher put up with that shit

>>4538750
Everyone in that story was high.

>mars minerals have the atomic structure of gold

I don't know why that made me laugh.

>>4535333
Because it's true, you moron.
Stop making excuses. Stop blaming other people.

>>4538750

>teacher asks jokingly "what would reach Earth faster - a sound from Mars or light from the Sun?"


W-well what's the answer?

Sure is american education system in here.

>>4538848

Bro.

Sound. From Mars.

>>4538848
Are you serious?
The speed of light is 8 orders of magnitude larger than the speed of sound.

It's a difference of like eight minutes for light from the sun versus five years for sound from Mars.

>>4538868

Not sure if troll or just ridiculously stupid.

>>4538871
STFU and let the man have some fun

>Sound
>In a vacuum

>>4538871
What? Are you referring to the "herp derp no sound in space" thing?

>>4538877

No, just the fact that you're a retard for thinking he was seriously asking which was faster.

>>4538877
If you think you can use 360 m/s you're fucking retarded; speed of sound is different for every medium and sound can't propagate in a vacuum.

>>4538889
>space
>a perfect vacuum
pick one

>>4538891
well, space within the heliosphere isn't the same as interstellar space.

pic related

>>4534522
>$45

what? You can get home testing kits for like a couple of dollars. You doctor is ripping you off

>>4538889
>360m/s
>speed of sound

>mfw it is 343m/s at ISA conditions

>>4538895
see pic and lol
see dat log scale and stop lolling

>>4538749
you seem to know alot about having sperm in your mouth son

>>4538899
see this post and realize what a dumbass i was for lolling

I had this clumsy prof who taught intro to high energy physics and decided to bring in a cathode ray type setup.
He also brought a rather strong magnet, which he kept in his pocket. When he wanted to show it he spend the next 4 minutes removing his keys from the magnet. After he had shown us the experiment he forgot to turn off the power supply and 10 minutes later there was a burning smell in the room and the power supply was throughly ruined.

>>4538913
Must have been a theoretical physicist. Our phase transitions professor once spent around ten minutes trying to figure out what was wrong with the projector before I took pity and plugged the power in for him.

>>4538921
Yea... experimental physicists have to be practical, hands-on types that actually know how to do things :) (or at least, to be successful enough to become a prof in the first place)

>>4538921
>Strength of Materials class
>Prof is a Civil Engineer
>Projector isn't working
>Spends 15 minutes trying to fix it, repeatedly taking it apart and putting it back together again.
>Finally realizes that the power outlet switch is off
(we couldn't see it because it was behind the desk)

>7th grade science class
>Learning about cells
>Relationship of surface area to volume
>teacher says that volume is equal to the sum of all the sides of a cube
>mfw
>try to correct her
>refuses to believe she's wrong
>try again
>get detention
>faith in school system shattered forever

>>4538921
You didn't tell him within the first twenty seconds? No one did? Bullshit.

This tells me that this story is probably a lie. You want to share a story about how the guy that makes you feel insecure really isn't so smart after all. Even if there's a shred of truth to the story, it tells far more about you than it does about the professor. It's like this one, about "stupid engineers"
http://www.snopes.com/science/cannon.asp
>The legend's appeal lies in its aura of smug superiority that "we" are smarter than "them." We, says the legend, would have known to use thawed birds. Moreover, when the other country screwed up, its engineers couldn't figure out the error on their own. We thus earned even more of a mental pat on the back in that it was our engineers who had to explain the "obvious" to these brainless foreigners.

>Go to middle school literally right across the street from public housing, 54% nigger
>6th grade history class
>Talkin bout Nam
>Teacher mentions Muhammad Ali losing his title or w/e for trying to draft dodge
>Outta nowhere black grrrrl yells
>DID DEY WANNA DRAFF HIM CUZ HE WUZ DA BES BOXA EVA AND HE WOODA BEET DEM VET KONGS?

>>4539004
>You didn't tell him within the first twenty seconds? No one did? Bullshit.
>implying everyone else wasn't too busy enjoying the fact that one lesson in the most boring course of the semester would be a bit shorter thanks to the debacle

*In Engineering chemistry again talking about alcohol groups particularly methanol.*
Student 1 on a tangent: Methanol is also called wood alcohol. That stuff makes you go blind
Professor: The real danger with methanol is that when it oxidizes in the liver it becomes formaldehyde, and then into formic acid
Student 2 (the lonely town guy from an earlier post): Formaldehyde... wait does that mean all dead people are blind?
Classroom wide facepalm

>>4539029
... but it doesn't change the amount of time they're stuck in class at all. There's nothing to gain. Are you honestly suggesting that you would rather sit in a classroom doing nothing than listen to the educational lecture you're paying for?

Wow. Throw yourself into a wood chipper.

Funniest:
Countless

Saddest:
Heat Death of The Universe
All I could think about is that I would never get laid before that happens.

>>4539040
>doing nothing

Other than chatting with the guys next to you about other courses?

>paying for

Look at that foreigner!

>>4539043
If you're trolling, then 10/10 because I mad. You go to class, but don't want to be there? Kill yourself.

>>4539057
But he gets paid to go to class, wouldn't you go and sit in class for an hour if you got some money for it?

>>4539061
>paid
>to go to class
Does his class take roll?

>>4539062
PhD students are paid, and they usually take classes as well as do research :)

(Unless of course you're a total tool and you're PAYING for your PhD)

>>4539062
>implying real classes aren't small enough that professors know exactly who you are and will be assholes to you if they haven't seen you at lecture often enough

>>4539066
I'm one of those graduate students, and yes, I'm making money while getting my PhD. And someone who would rather sit in a lecture rather than TAKE THE FUCKING CLASS needs to commit suicide, pronto, because he's not going to cut it in research anyway. What a fucking waste.

ITT: People brag about how little they pay attention to their studies

I have no face to express the gut-wrenching disappointment, tinged with streaks of disgust and sympathetic shame. You poor, sad fools.

>>4539070
>And someone who would rather sit in a lecture not paying attention rather than TAKE THE FUCKING CLASS
fixed.

>>4539023
Not a bad thought.

>>4539104
It's essentially what all the Rambo movies were about. But send Apollo Creed instead of Rocky.

(Yes, I know that Rambo and Rocky are different characters even though they're both played by Sylvester Stallone. I'm feeling defensive today.)

>>4538407
I posted the comment you are replying to yesterday, not sure if you will still be around, but anyways the fundamental problem was that he did not grasp what "expansion of the universe" means.

I literally do not get what is so hard to understand about expansion of the universe. Nothing is physically moving faster than light. That was the kid's concern.

I'm not saying it's uninteresting, I'm saying the kid didn't understand what it means for the universe to be expanding, he thought that an ever-accelerating universe and a finite speed of light that nothing can exceed were contradictory.

>>4539066
>Unless of course you're a total tool and you're PAYING for your PhD
>Implying paid PhDs are as easy to get if you're an international student

>be 11th grade or so
>learn law of cosines
>"Ah, so when the angle is pi/2, its cosine is 0 and we get the Pythagorean Theorem. So the Pythagorean Theorem is a special case of the Law of Cosines?"
>"no"
>mfw
>teacher doesn't even let me respond to her claim of "no"
>not sure if trolling or very stupid
>but sure if bitch

>grade 8
>me and my friend smoked weed every lunch
>science class was right after lunch
>burnt out as fuck
>kept falling asleep(partly cause i played WoW all night)
>teacher kept waking me up
>teacher took out the meter stick and WHACKED my desk
>i got up and was like "WHAT THE FUCK!?"
>everyone loled
>teacher made me stand for the rest of class

>Learning about specific energy in fluid mechanics
>Lecturer says you can derive a cubic equation
>"You'll end up with two real solutions, the two depths at the same specific energy, and one complex solution"

>two real, one complex

I wanted to scream so loud.

>>4539656

They are if you went somewhere half-decent.

>freshman year, science class
>teacher is talking about science and shit
>annoying fuck that no one likes always shouts out in class
>never shuts the fuck up
>teacher always tells him to straight up shut up
>"If you don't shut your mouth you're going to the office, I'm done with you"
>he shouts out 5 seconds later
>just tells him to shutup again

FUCK JUST SEND HIM TO THE FUCKING OFFICE YOU FUCKING GODFJASDGADHFADJGN'ASFGA

>>4539677
did cubic have real coefficients? if so i am with you.

>>4539900

jesus fucking christ i hate those fuckers. for some reason i always end up getting at least 2 of those loud mouth douche fags in each english class taken. the teachers want to be cool, and liked, so they dont even say anything. not once has one of those kids been sent to the office or anything... they only go to school talk to people, because they're surely too dumb to pass any of their classes.

>HS Biology: evolution & natural selection
>Teacher: "name something animals may compete for"
>kid sticks his hand up
>"air"
Dear god, I will neer forget that class for as long as I live - pretty much every single lesson was like this, to the point where it wasn't even funny anymore. If I can remember more, I'll post some.

"But isn't evolution JUST a theory?"

"So, wait, men don't have one less rib than women? "

These were the people who used to get really good grades, they were not particulary religious, and they were almost 18 at the time.

>mfw

>>4536106
>>4536078
>>creationists
Dude, you ain't seen nothing yet. I go to school in the southern US. At my university we have a creationist who camps out in the cafeteria talking creationist nonsense to people. He isn't even a student. We call him the cafeteria creationist, and he's very easy to troll.

Some universities down here even have creationist student groups, so it's pretty bad.

This was just last week

>>But isn't water just oxidized nitrogen

>>4541027
this is for the most part true, when the water contains a solution of highly concentrated nitric acid.

>In intro bio 1
>Professor is giving lecture on viruses
>Talks about HIV for a bit
>Black girl raises her hand
>Asks professor if it's possible that HIV was bioengineered by the US government to kill off black people
>Professor just stands there stuttering for a minute trying to figure out how he's supposed to respond to such a retarded question
>Girl won't drop the subject even after he tells her it's impossible, eventually he tells her to shut up or leave

I'm not even kidding. It's a shame this was back before smartphones or else that shit would have been on youtube within hours.

>>4541022
Go to a better university. I went to Emory and the only time we had creationists on our campus was when some bible thumpers tried handing out Kirk Cameron's version of Origin of Species on its 100th anniversary. Unfortunately they came a day earlier than they said they would so the only people who managed to get down there to tell them how stupid they were were a bunch of grad students from the evolutionary biology program.

My evolution professor actually told me in private several times how disappointed he was that he didn't have any creationists in his classes. He said it was his dream to publicly humiliate at least one of them in class.

>>4538889
If you think that the medium has ANY effect on the "8 orders of magnitude" then you're fucking dumb.
I'll cede on the sound in space thing. But the speed thing, you're fucking stupid.

>>4541055
>I often think about how disappointed I am that I don't have any creationists in my classes. It is my dream to publicly humiliate at least one of them in class.
Fixed.

Kid in my chem class: "Why are you boiling the water out of that?"
My Teacher: "Uhh.. Because I want it dry?"
Also- i would tell you what my favorite element is, but my favorite ones argon.

>>4541055
>>FREE ORIGIN OF THE SPECIES DAY
Oh man I remember that. At my university, a battalion of biologists descended upon them when they came. Damn near the whole biology department was there.

>>4541055
this obviously your teenage atheist wet dream or something.

if i believe that God created the universe, how are you going to humiliate me ?

>>4541136
You're already humiliating yourself

>>4541143
>this is what kids on 4chan actually believe.

>>4541035
No, the water is still H2O. It may contain other dissolved stuff, but the water molecules themselves are still just H2O.

Besides, this was in a stupid History of Science course everyone at my school is required to take. There is a very good chance the girl who said this was not a science major, and could never make an argument like that.

>>4541143
Honestly kid, if you can disprove God scientifically and/or scientifically prove an alternative that explains creation of everything, ill give you every cent I own

>HS anatomy class
>Girl asks class, "You know Pluto is not a planet anymore?"
>Another girl asks, "Then what is it?"
>Confidently says, "I think it's a star!"
>Completely serious
>Some people actually agree
>No one but me realizes the stupidity that just occured

>Tenth grade biology
>Teacher is a total idiot
>We're discussing taxonomy, and how one classifies different animals
>She claims that it's flawed because "it says that mammals don't lay eggs, but chickens lay eggs all the time!"
>Another day
>Doing the section on biogenesis
>Her EXACT words are "some people believe in the big bang theory, which says that there was a giant explosion that caused bacteria to fly to different planets, including Earth."
>What the fuck.

>>4541157
>>4541193
Argumentum ad ignorantiam

This is what the God hypothesis is.

Where does everything come from?
I don't know. Neither do you.

Offering up an answer that is AS plausible as "unicorn farts" doesn't do anyone any good and ACTIVELY impedes investigation of these questions.

>Junior year chemistry
>talking about how gels are formed (solid dissolved in a liquid)
>someone in class asks if that's what jello is
>girl says "I heard that jello was made out of horse shoes"
>everyone lol's

>HS physics
>Have a problem about dropping a pen on the moon and how long it'd take to hit the ground assuming it's gravity is 1/6 that of earth's
>Couple class mates have trouble with it and ask the sub for help
>she immediately says with the utmost confidence "This is a trick question! There's no gravity on the moon!"
>classmates ask her how the moon landing happened and she shuts up

If Geography can be counted as a science, a girl thought a map of the British Isles was a map of the world.

>>4538100

>Bitches about run-on sentence
>Writes a run-on sentence

Keep it up aspie faggots

>>4541454
I know history isn't a science, but I just remembered another story that's fucking awful
>HS history.
>Talking about World War I
>same girl who said horse shoes = jello thing isn't paying attention, so teacher picks her to answer a question because she's a bitch like that
>easy question. who won World War I.
>she doesn't know the answer; someone decides to whisper her a wrong answer
>she says "the Axis Powers!"

She also thought that Japanese and Chinese people were the same until senior year.

A third year biologist I know believes that insects and fish are not animals.

>>4534735

lol'd.

so interesting.


kill yourself.

Now that you mention blood OP,
I'm about to sell my blood for the first time tomorrow and I was trying to get my buddy to come with me but neither of us are sure he can give it if he smoked pot like a week ago.

I've been trying to find a website that specifically addresses recreational drugs but I can't find anything.

Anyone know?

>introduction to EE circuit theory
>92% failure rate in mid-term
>lecturer:"I really don't care if you all fail, I get my money at the end of the day"
>mfw module has 60% failure rate overall and has caused many an engineer to repeat because of it
>mfw the same smug lecturer is there

in history
because the thread is slow now
>have some gay question of the day every day to ponder
>"What language would you instantly learn if you could instantly"
>girl raises her hand
>french
>"because if you're like, in italy, or something, they won't understand you talking english"
I laughed, but most people apparently thought it was viable. oh well.

>>4535970
I actually spit water out laughing at how retarded this is.

>>4538531

>Wouldn’t humans rather create a God that allows them to get away with whatever they want?"

Yeah that would keep the plebeian masses in line without flaw.

1/10.

>>4539677

>implying the first term didn't have an imaginary co-efficient

When kids think they're smarter than lecturers my jimmies get rustled, big time.

>>4541540
I'm failing to see the problem with this.

My chemistry professor will go to a slide that sums up a lot of important concepts and formulas, but only stays on the slide for about 5 seconds and says not to worry about writing it down because he doesn't have enough time to sit on the same slide. He then shows us about 15 of the same graph taken from different sources and detonates balloons filled with hydrogen for no reason for the next several minutes.

>In AP bio class.
>Kid asks what a herbicide is.

>>4541844
>AP class
>filled with dumbasses

Not surprising

so many retards in biology
I feel like most of /sci/ would be those retards and thats why they hate it so much

bump

>>4536066
What do you mean by "varying exponent". I understand you are referring to the -1, but I don't see how this produces ln(x) * x^x

>>4545618

Well if the exponent is also a variable (x), then the normal nx^(n-1) rule doesn't apply any more. Take the natural logs and solve by implicit differentiation to get the real answer.

>>4545618

Well if the exponent is also a variable (x), then the normal nx^(n-1) rule doesn't apply any more. Take the natural logs and solve by implicit differentiation to get the real answer.

y = x^x

ln(y) = ln(x^x)

ln(y) = xln(x)

1/y * dy/dx = x * 1/x + ln(x) * 1

1/y * dy/dx = 1 + ln(x)

dy/dx = y(1 + ln(x))

dy/dx = x^x (1 + ln(x))