/sci/ - Science & Math

Bump. Come on bros!

Idontknowthatfeel.avi

>not saying you're sick and getting your mom to pick you up


I did this like a boss.

please go back to /b/.

>>3893357

> Call mom to pick me up from university

Underage b&

>had fish from the cafeteria the day before
>in class
>suddenly feel like my ass is gonna explode
>walk out
>get to the toilet
>hover over it
>let the flood gates loose
>there is someone in the next stall
>announce 'don't eat the fish'

>>3893377
>complaining when classes are like an hour long and you have a car


I thought this was a nostalgia thread...

>>3893377
You are so fucking stupid, You are so unbelievably stupid.
You are more stupid than I could ever have imagined.
Shame on you anonymous.

>college
>in the city
>have to take a shit
>no public restrooms that i know of
>right in the middle of campus is a pond area with a wall around it to sit on
>walk up to it
>slip pants a bit down so my anus is out
>shit into the pond while acting like i'm just sitting there as people walk by
>forgot i had no way to wipe my ass
>have to walk home with ass smearing between my butt
>have to take the long way so i wouldn't have to have people walk behind me and smell it

>>3893304
>2011
>scared of public restrooms

>>3893381

> Take public transportation

> Second and third classes were two hours each

> 10 minutes between classes

> My face when I think of taking the bus all the way home, taking a shit, taking a bus all the way back, and making it to third class in 10 minutes

Do you mind posting some science concerning poop, bathrooms, and hygiene /sci/?


I'm full George Costanza but I realize some things are irrational and I try to change them, which actually is pretty easy.


>pooping with any clothing on

>>3893417
>going to lectures

I've never had this problem before. It's like my body loves me and is like "He has better shit to do than shit I won't bother him right now" But when I finally get him it just all hits me out of nowhere.

>>3893428

*home

>>>/b/
>>>/adv/

Come on now.

Guys you have to have a poop schedule. I poop first thing in the morning or around noon if my poop is lacking. Haphazard poops will get you nowhere in life.

I know that feeö

>>3893417
>scared to use public restrooms
>worrying about making it to a college lecture on time

this isn't high school

>>3893420

Poop floats if you have too much fat in your diet because lipids are hydrophobic

>>3893442

> Taking some dumbass liberal art where all the material is easy and lectures aren't necessary

Gb2 /soc/

>>3893464
>implying hydrophobic makes something float....

shit, tyrone

Creating the perfect log is a science, trust me. It must be large, a single piece, and ideally it slips out into the bowl so smoothly that the toilet paper stays white.

I can't give away all my secrets, but it involves oatmeal, jerky, cheese, plenty of gatorade, and delayed swallowing of some propellant, like a tiny bit of raw onion. My notebooks and journals are quite extensive.

>>3893464
>He seriously thinks being late to a lecture is going to ruin him

sounds like you have trouble comprehending material and need someone to force feed it down your throat

I always poop in the morning so pooping isn't a problem in class, but I can never poop in public restrooms. I went on a 3 day cruise (plus 2 days of traveling) and I didn't poop at all. The first poop at home was very painful.

Why /sci/? Why?!

>>3893533
it was probably painful because of all the dried out poop in your intestines

Soluble fiber guys. Buy benefiber or something.

>>3893549
i eat broccoli all day

>In High School
>Riding the bus in the morning, tired
>Few other kids on the bus with me, mostly black girls
>Suddenly smell shit
>Think I stepped in dog shit
>OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD
>Press feet on the ground and hope no one sits next to me
>Get to school
>Run into the bathroom and check shoes; nothing there
>That afternoon bus driver gives us a lecture on how we should tell her if we have an emergency
>SOMEONE SHIT ON THE BUS

>>3893568
Oh yeah, and everyone probably thought it was me because I was so uncomfortable.

>>3893533
A friend of mine tried to do that on a 5 day trip
He caved in on the third day and clogged the toilet
Never again he said

I have no problem pooping in a stall, but I have a hard time pissing in a urinal unless I'm the only one there. I thought that made me all beta, but apparently everyone on /sci/ is far worse.

I didn't poop for a week once on a school trip. I ate a ton too. When I finally let it rip, 5 huge turds filled the toilet in half a second, and 5 more after. That was the biggest relief feeling ever.

It hurt like a motherfucker all week. But I would NOT crap in the woods. Lesson learned. I now crap anywhere. I am a crapping machine! I will crap in your soup if you aren't watching. Extra flavor.

I can only poop in my own bathroom, and normally only in the morning. Whenever I go on vacation I always get really constipated and end up feeling terrible for the trip. I went to San Diego last summer for a week and didn't poop the whole time. I didn't know that was even possible. The poop I took when I got home was the most liberating experience I've ever had.

>>3893607
Bro fist man. I thought I was the only one who could hold it for a week. Fucking liberating afterwards.

>>3893615
I definitely didn't think it was possible to. It was the longest I'd ever gone. Hopefully I never have to experience that again.

>>3893621
Yeah it was fucking miserable for me too. I couldn't think. I would get periods of 30 seconds of no pain then pain again.

>>3893600
>I have no problem pooping in a stall, but I have a hard time pissing in a urinal unless I'm the only one there. I thought that made me all beta, but apparently everyone on /sci/ is far worse.

I don't like peeing in urinals because there's no toilet paper to dab your dick with

>>3893646
> there's no toilet paper to dab your dick with

lol


I've improved my anxiety a lot but I still can't usually pee at a urinal even if I'm not nervous. It's like completely outside my conscious.

>Transfer to university
>Have to shit
>Realize I have no clue where most of the bathrooms are
>Pull out map
>Notice payphones are marked but not restrooms
>MFW
>Walk awkwardly across campus to the one restroom I actually know

When I was 7, I didn't poop for like a month so I had to get an enema...It's impossible for me to describe the exact sensation I was feeling at the time but I'm sure you can imagine how it would feel to spray a month's worth of shit out of your asshole.

>>3893681
Holyshit blackman. You must have intestinal damage!

>>3893646
>no toilet paper to dab your dick with.

If the bathroom has paper towels, I tear off a small piece to dab with. If there isn't any, I dab it dry on the back of my hand. And yes, I wash up afterwards (borderline germophobe).

>>3893646
>>3893739
that's why you carry a handkerchief, also effective for the one-finger asshole itch

>have to take a shit
>use the restroom because this isn't middle school and the bathrooms are decently maintained

Never change, /sci/.
>saying you're sick and getting your mom to pick you up

Ah, good times...

havent taken a shit in a whole week
gonna feel good man

So much fucking beta ITT.

>>3895810
So much fucking dickhead ITP.

As a child I remember going days or a whole week without pooping. Never had any bowel problems at school either. I developed a habit of touching cloth because it felt good (I still do this). Amazingly clean undergarments though. Love rubbing my prostate with my own hard crap.

>>3895815
Rub your prostate with your finger or another man's cock like normal people.

>>3895818
EK?

>>3895823
no this is EK
>>3895815

>>3895838
wanna cyber?