/sci/ - Science & Math

more magical genies that aren't assholes like you and actually provide me the wishes I want and not the wishes you missinterpretate

I wish that the remaining wishes are fulfilled in exactly the manner I intended them to be fulfilled.

>>3344614

That might be an effective loophole to the "no wishing for more wishes" rule...

I wish for a turkey sandwich on rye bread with lettuce and mustard. And I don't want any zombie turkeys, I don't want to turn into a turkey
myself, and I don't want any other weird surprises, you got it!?

I wish that EK posts her tits.

>>3344606

I would use words that have very articulate definitions. And then hand over a comprehensive encyclopedia and other relevant reading material for the genie to know what I mean.
Say I want a car:

I wish I had a car that isn't shit.

Then I would have a very articulate definition of shit and my car would be everything but that.

Problem solved and my car isn't shit. Yeeah

>>3344634
You didn't specify I couldn't add other stuff to your sandwich, and I don't consider fecals to be weird surprises.
Enjoy your shitturkey sandwich.

I wish to live in a world in which two opposing statements can never both be true at the same time

>>3344639

EK cuts off her tits, and send them to you in the post

I wish that evil things happen to other.
Problem solved.
Everything went better than expected for me and the genie.

>>3344649

I'm okay with this.

From one of the Wishmaster movies:

>I wish for two beautiful women who are in love with me.
>*women start killing him or something*
>GENIE: YOU DIDN"T DEFINE LOVE SO I USED MY IDEA OF WHAT LOVE IS HURPADURPA

fucking genies

not a single fucking day on /sci/ without my tits being mentioned at least once...the fuck is wrong with you guys?

I wish to become mod on /sci/

>>3344663 the fuck is wrong with you guys?
Oh please someone say it, haha

>>3344663

Don't blame /sci/.
It's just me who posts all this.

I wish that whatever the genie does evil happens twice to him.

>>3344688
genie is a sadomasocist. =p

>2011
>not wishing to become Costanza

I seriously you don't do this.

I wish I made a billion dollars everyday from playing minecraft.

I also wish to be immune to any kind of toxin, poison, or any other negative effects that involve medication, drugs, medicine, poisons, environmental toxins, and so on and so forth.

For my third wish I want to live for an additional 500 hundred years for the lulz.

my wishes:
1. the second wish shall not be fulfilled
2. the first wish shall be fullfilled
3. profit

>>3344606
Been down this road before many times and have learned my lesson.
I politely inform the genie that while I greatly appreciate his offer, but that I respectfully decline to accept it, and walk away.

>>3344688

>yfw the genie is an engineer and every fish you make gets you raped in the ass.

>>3344781

No problem. I'm an engineer myself.

>>3344781
fish?
typo?
F and W arnt even next to each other on the keyboard you fat-fingered-fuckhead!

>>3344728

sequencing yourself to 500 years of minecraft

that must be the nerdvana

i really wouldn't like to be you

>>3344797

>americans don't know about other keyboard layouts

>>3344739
You profit, but it's all from illegal activities, you are arrested, tried, convicted, and spend the rest of your life in prison, where you cannot enjoy your profits.

>>3344728
You are plagued for the next 500 years by kidnappers and thieves who never give you a single moments peace, and you spend all the money you make paying for bodyguards and secure places to live trying to keep ahead of those who wish to divest you of all that insane amounts of money you make. Additionally while you live for 500 years, you continue to age, so after the first 70 or so, you're such a wizened old corpse-looking dude that there are also fanatics and crazies who are certain you are some sort of vampire or lich, and keep trying to kill you. You're poisoned constantly, and while it doesn't affect you, it ruins the flavor of everything you eat and drink because you can detect it every single time.

>>3344688
The genie, being non-human, has a different concept of what is evil and what is good, so things don't work out quite the way you think they do.

>>3344634
There's nothing "weird" about food poisoning, it happens all the time! Better luck next life!

>>3344797

wtf you attention whore. Go back to soc and post your tits there.

>>3344797
Not everyone uses a QWERTY lay-out keyboard, you retard.

J wish for a world without trip fags

>>3344823

Genie just replaces the word "trip code".

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>>3344621
What if he interprets your subconscious' urge to sex your mother rather than your conscious' urge to science things?

>>3344621
The genie just gives you a weary look and tells you "That's not how this works!"

1. don't misinterperet
2. make me a damn sandwich after u grow some tits if not already present.
3. make the voices go away.

>>3344878
1. What ever made you think I'd do that? XD
2. The sandwich is the most gross and disgusting thing you've ever tasted; it makes you sicker than shit. "You didn't say make you a GOOD sandwich!"
3. The voices go away! But now you're completely deaf.

I will make my wishes in writing, as legal contracts with clauses for reversing the wishes at any point I want to.

I want exactly ten billion USD in 50 dollar notes. The notes must be identical in nature to conventional dollar bills, and be at room temperature with the traits of money at room temperature.. They must be legal, and not taken unwillfully from any person or organisation. The money is to be placed in a way that does not harm me or anyone else directly or indirectly, and also in a way that makes all notes accessible to me within 30 seconds.

>>3344911
The genie insists on negotiating the exact terms of the contract, and brings in an attorney-genie as his legal counsel in the matter. The negotiations proceed at a glacial pace, as genies are essentially immortal, and more to the point naturally love the entire letigious process even more than they love twisting the wishes that foolish humans make. You die of old age before the final contract can be agreed upon.

>>3344940
then the genie isn't giving me my wishes. I leave.

1. I wish that the fulfillment of all wishes was Pareto Efficient with respect to humanity.

2. I wish that you understood the many varied concepts of ethics throughout the world and acted in such a way that your actions would be considered neutral or good by as many people as possible.

3. That life spreads throughout the universe.