/sci/ - Science & Math

What do mathematicians say when they overeat?

sqrt(-1)/8

bump for interest

>>3047389

Square root of negative one over eight?

Two men are sitting in the basket of a balloon. For hours, they have been drifting through a thick layer of clouds, and they have lost orientation completely. Suddenly, the clouds part, and the two men see the top of a mountain with a man standing on it.
"Hey! Can you tell us where we are?!"
The man doesn't reply. The minutes pass as the balloon drifts past the mountain. When the balloon is about to be swallowed again by the clouds, the man on the mountain shouts: "You're in a balloon!"
"That must have been a mathematician."
"Why?"
"What he said was both completely true and absolutely useless."

>>3047427
No, i divided by two to the third power.

>>3047427
You best be joking, nigger.

>>3047427
I over ate. You fuckin mook.

>>3047434

I don't get it.

>>3047446

I suddenly get it.

>>3047447
if you dont know math, then you shouldn't be here

>>3047447
Me either.

>>3047451
I fucking hated trig, this one's gonna need some explaining

>>3047455

How much math do you know little girl?

>>3047447
It's i over ate, i as in imaginary. The square root of a negative is imaginary.

Picture somewhat related.

>>3047469
Bachelor's in Astronomy

>>3047472
sin^2 x + cos^2 x = 1.

1 is the son, and sin^2 x is the mother, but cos^2 x is the MAILMAN, not the father. Meaning she fucked the mailman.

Three statisticians are going deer hunting. From their blind, they see a deer browsing in the undergrowth, unaware of their presence. They decide that two of them will shoot simultaneously, while the third watches for a hit.
The first shot misses, wide right by five feet. The second shot misses, wide left by five feet. The statistician who's watching rather than shooting shouts, "Got him!"

if any of these jokes need to be explained to you, please leave.

>>3047474

So not much?

>>3047472

IDK probably involves:

<span class="math">\displaystyle \frac{sin^2(x)}{cos^2(x)} = tan^2(x)[/spoiler]

and sexual implications with the mailman.

One day a farmer called up an engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician and asked them to fence of the largest possible area with the least amount of fence.
The engineer made the fence in a circle and proclaimed that he had the most efficient design.
The physicist made a long, straight line and proclaimed "We can assume the length is infinite..." and pointed out that fencing off half of the Earth was certainly a more efficient way to do it.
The Mathematician just laughed at them. He built a tiny fence around himself and said "I declare myself to be on the outside."

>>3047447
>basic algebraic comedy
>doesn't understand it

>>3047477

I don't get it.

compilation of EVERY /sci/ joke ever:

An infinite number of mathematicians, a polar bear, helium, and a neutrino walk into a bar (ouch). One of the mathematicians then says, "the bar is now empty" and they begin to play hide and seek. The neutrino is then stopped by a police officer. Officer Heisenberg says, "Do you know how fast you were going back there?" The neutrino replies, "I'm positive and a pascal but I don't know where I am." The bar tender then says "You're all idiots, the cows are all black" and pours 10 (in base 2, i mean 10) drinks and there is an extra dollar. The polar bear then dissolves in water while the helium does not react.

I like how the entire thread assumes I don't use Euler's identity on a regular basis and am not aware of its relation and connection to the imaginary and Cartesian plane.

Pic related.

>>3047487

I get it.

The volume of your mom is an improper integral.

>>3047481
Naw its (sinx)^2+(cosx)^2=1
meaning the kid is the mailman's

My infinite series converged on your girlfriend last night.

>>3047487
lol'd

>>3047583
>thinks a trig. identity and casual mention of sexual relations are related

>>3047586

So what you're saying is that your penis is extremely tiny?

>>3047451
The kid should've been named cot^2(x) ...

>>3047569
oh god, it took me a second but i laughed pretty hard.
I think i've spent too much doing calc 1. dumb joke but its funny

>>3047602
Im saying that even though its infinately big I can still fit it inside your girlfriend.

A priest, doctor and engineer are out golfing when day when they catch up to the group in front of them. These men are tediously slow and appear quite inept.

They begin to loudly complain when the groundskeeper pulls up on a golf car.

"What the hell is going on here?!" exclaims the doctor. "We've been waiting 10 minutes for these guys now."

"So sorry gentlemen! These men are firefighters who saved our clubhouse last week from certain destruction. They were blinded in the process, quite unfortunately. But we allow them use of the course for free any time they would like."

"The sounds awful" said the priest. "I will be certain to hold these brave men in my prayers every night."

"Fortunately I am an ophthalmologist" said the doctor. "I can schedule them a free consultation any time."

The engineer then exclaims emphatically, "Why the hell can't these guys just play at night?!"

Math pick up line:

Hey girl are you an integral? Cause I'd like to check the area under those curves.

>>3047625

But it converges on a specific value...which is generally tiny.

It's ok bro. Many men have tiny penises.

http://4chanarchive.org/brchive/dspl_thread.php5?thread_id=1675356&rss=1

>>3047636
I tried that with this hot math chick at my college, she has a restraining order against me now.

What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?

Nothing, you can't cross a vector with a scalar.

>Nothing, you can't cross a vector with a scalar.

I was under the impression that you could.

>>3047739
means you're not cute enough

>>3047780
...please leave.

>>3047902
But I am a cat.

>>3047917
you just don't get it

>>3047929
are you alive or dead?

http://www.math.ualberta.ca/~runde/jokes.html

A math professor at my school has a ton of them. Some of them are actually pretty decent (adrift in a sea of shit) and require a bit of knowledge to get.

Too lazy to actually post them

An infinite crowd of mathematicians enters a bar.
The first one orders a pint, the second one a half pint, the third one a quarter pint...
"I understand", says the bartender - and pours two pints.