/sci/ - Science & Math

Everyone has their derp moment.

>7th grade bio
>calorimetry lab
>some groups using alcohol thermometers, some using mercury thermometers
>teacher: whatever you do, DON'T BREAK A MERCURY THERMOMETER
>...
>5 MOTHER-DICKING MINUTES LATER.
>teacher orders us to the other side of the room and crawls around collecting the mercury in a film canister

>Have a timber design course (civil engineering)
>4 people assigned to a group
>All of us have something to do. Calcs, CAD drawings, etc.
>One guy doesn't have to do anything except build the model replica
>Prof constantly warns us to get started on the model extra early, because it takes a fuckload of time
>Dude waits until the weekend before its due to get started
>"Oh my god bro I have been working on this thing for 20 hours and I just barely got the flooring done"
>We all have to come to the college on Saturday and work until Sunday morning
>We still don't get finished all the way

I'd probably slack off the same way he did, but I wouldn't make everyone else suffer because I was a dipshit who mismanaged his time. Fucking moron.

>>2785994
>and thats why I hate group work

>liberating negatively charged hydroxyl ions
>assistant asks "wait professor, what if the salicylic acids don't accept the hydroxyl ions?"
>that's no hydroxyl ion, that's my wife!

>>2785990 again
>freshman bio class
>peroxidase lab, involves mixture of pureed liver and water
>guy from another lab group wanders over carrying a beaker of liver
>I mouth off to him
>he gets mad and slams his fist (the one holding the beaker of liver) down on the lab bench
>ohshitniggerwhatareyoudoing
>bottom breaks out of the beaker
>LIVER, LIVER EVERYWHERE

>>2786007
>liberating

>>2786007


I never got this as a kid but now that I do... It's just so fucking hilarious.

>grade 11 Physics
>have to build bridge out of spaghetti
>we split the group up and this guy only has to do some theoretical cost shit
>he somehow calculates that a scale model of our bridge made of real materials would costs like 15 grand.
>we lose marks

>Working with 2 girls and an asian guy
>Asain guy has only one name, no last name
>Comment on it, joke that "Can I call you johnny X" since his middle and last name were listed 'x'"
>The girl facepalm, apparently that was uncomfortable
>He says that he is starting a "gogel group" for the project
>I ask him to repeat that so I can write down the site name
>he looks confused "Gogal"
>Puzzled... then realize and say out loud "Oooh, a google group!"
>Girls looked shocked
>Oh shit. I look racist

I'm really not johnny, if you are on here. I think your name is cool.

>>2786011

What did you say to piss him off?

>High school physics
>Need to make a powerpoint
>I volunteer to compile the info
>I get halfassed wikipedia copy pastes emailed to me at 11:45 on the eve of the due date.
>Fucking rage...
>Knew this was going to happend so I did the project in advance.
>Talk to physics teacher and I get a 210% while my group gets nothing.


Not lab related but just another "I hate assigned group work" story.

>>2785994
>>2785998
>>2786033
>>2786054

Why do schools train smart people to hate teamwork? Why?

>>2786033
>>have to build bridge out of spaghetti

why did I laugh?

>>2786069

Why? Because they think that teamwork makes projects (and hence learning) more enjoyable for the masses.

>>2786054
>Talk to physics teacher and I get a 210% while my group gets nothing.

you're an asshole

>have industrial organization group project
>don't show up to class to work on it
>manipulate one group member into writing the 10 page paper
>make other 3 people do verbal presentation
>do nothing
>get A
>I know I'm doing this thread wrong but you're all beta

>>2786079

don't worry, he got 200% on the project but gets pussy 0% of the week

>>2786079

I couldn't agree more.
I was an unsympathetic dick in high school.
Regardless.... If you email me a fucking wikipedia article at 23:45 the night before a project is due... I will still fucking do everything that I can to fucking ruin your ass.

>>2786069

Did you not read the stories? I don't think people here hate teamwork, they just hate the incompetence that often comes with it from one person in the group or another.

>>2786085

He wouldn't have gotten pussy for taking the hit.

Unless he raped her and whispered that if she screamed he would tell teacher.

During the past 3 out of 4 labs I've TA'd in the past two weeks...

>TAing Orgo 1 lab
>Student asks me why their condenser isn't working
>condenser is hooked up to natural gas line and water tap without turning on the water

>TAing the next day Orgo 1 lab
>Student asks me why their condenser isn't working
>condenser is hooked up to vacuum line and water tap while turning on the water
>nervously wait for mass email explaining why the vacuum system will be shut down for repairs

>TAing Orgo 1 lab the following week
>Student asks me why their condenser isn't working
>condenser is hooked up to compressed air and the water with the water on
>hoses pop
>water everywhere
>reconnects hose in the same place
>hose pops
>more water everywhere
>Now I intervene asking them to turn the water off and step away while I fix it.

I hate you pre-med kids

>>2786085

Interestingly enough... I got a hell of a lot more pussy junior year of high school (when this happened) than I do now in college even though I'm way more tolerant of incompetence....
It's probably because I do less drugs now than I did then and party less too.
I blame science.

>>2786114

>"Interestingly enough"
>A tripfag telling a story

>>2786054

That's fucking boss. Group projects always equal mediocre work and one should expect to have to do everything.

>7 years ago
>in lab mixing somekind of oil
>group work, there 7 of us
>bell rings people go outside
>teach tells me to continue mixing with a glass rod
>follow teachers advice
>4 minutes later I'm still doing it and ask the teacher isn't this enough, it could get dangerous
>she tells me it's okay just keep at it
>seconds later mixture explodes
>superheated shit all over all my group mates text books, notebooks, clothes
>teacher rages, group mates rage about clothes
>seconds later they're all dumping their text books into the bin
>after class they all thank me
>now they don't have to hand their notebooks in and can copy their notebooks for a perfect grade
>mfw I WIN

>>2786109
TA'd the same class 4 semesters... This shit happens all the time.

My favorite condenser story:

>show girls how to setup condenser
>come back 5 minutes later and she doesn't have the water running yet
Why ur water not running, I ask
>she looks at me like I'm the dumbest person on Earth and loudly exclaims "If I turn the water on it'll get into my flask and ruin everything!"
>can't hold back laughter, whole class starts laughing at her

>mfw I give her a C- at the end of the semester

>>2786109
Oh Lord, there are some people in Orgo who shouldn't be.
Luckily the worst thing that happened in my Orgo class was when the Rotavap kept eating our product.

>in gay engineering class by accident
>drop it after the first day but don't tell anyone and keep going anyway
>get paired up for a lab with some faggots
>drop our our class project (we built a bridge) while carrying it to class
>"oh well at least we have the written report and powerpoint on the flash drive"
>i wiped the flash drive with the rest of the project on it
>never show up to class again
>mfw they probly failed

I remember when I was suppose to be boiling sulfuric acid for some lab and I forgot to put in the boiling chips. After about 20 minutes I was like why the hell isn't my shit boiling. I realize I forgot my boiling chips. Oh well I will just add them now.... Sulfuric acid explosion wooooo.

Though I have many stories, I only have time for one:

>Design course for Mechanical Engineering
>Groups of five students
>Grouped with people I know (by chance, not choice)
>Each "Project" (There were 3 projects total) consists of many memos/sub-assignments and one huge final paper
>I do all memos and sub-assignments for the first project
> Every assignment I do receives full credit
>Group encourages me to relax and let them handle the final report for Project 1
>I unwisely agree since I have over 9000 other engineering related things to work on for other classes, etc.
>I still have to submit the report because I am the team leader and have admin rights on the server used for the class to submit/edit projects.
>Team e-mails the final report to me THE MORNING its due
>I check the report to ensure that all the parts are there
>How in the name of cocks could someone willingly submit a report this poorly written/formatted
>Seriously, words spelled incorrectly, paragraphs random or non-existent, diagrams clearly made in 30 seconds, sentences written with the coherence of a 12 year old monkey, terrible engineering work (poor analysis, incorrect math, etc.), a myriad of other problems...
>I rage. A LOT.

>>2786218

Cont.

>Try to fix as much as possible
>Report due at noon, it's ~11:30
>Grudgingly submit report
>Resolve to do every single assignment myself from here on out
>Can't rage at team since I interact with them regularly (and they're otherwise cool people)
>Get a SIXTY FUCKING THREE percent on the project
>Rage more
>Consider talking to the teacher so my grade doesn't suffer (to hell with my partner's grades)
>Can't happen since teacher stated earlier that he won't make allowances for crappy group members
>Do every single assignment and report myself
>Get near full credit on every single assignment
>I am EXHAUSTED every night from doing the entire project myself
>My hard work pays off, I get an A- in the class
>Obviously would have received an A if not for the first project report
>As God is my witness, I will murder the next crappy lab/project partner I have that screws my grade

tl;dr I hate group work (or at least group work where the partners don't hold the team to the standards that I do).

>>2786218
Was this at UF?

>>2786218
>written with the coherence of a 12 year old monkey
>a myriad of other problems...
>a myriad of
>a
>myriad
>of

you shouldn't even be talking you fucking cuntlizard

>>2786201

Ohshit nigger,
What the hell are you doing.

>year 7
>retard kid (actually mentally incompetent) can't get a group for his typical bunsen burner heat shit experiment
>gets placed in mine and a friend's group
>while we are off getting some liquid and shit for the experiment, he sets fire to a curtain using the bunsen burner
>classroom evacuated
>retard kid doesn't get shit done to him
>me and my friend, excluded for 3 days for being "careless"

>>2786234
At the time, I was trying to get my sulfuric acid to boil lol.

>>2786230

Nope.

>>2786233

>Points out a minor error with the intention of lampooning my command of the English language.

>Uses made-up terms such as "Cuntlizard".

>No capitalization at any point in the post.

whatwehavehereisatremendousasspie.tiff

>>2786079
You've really never had to do work for months straight, with dickheads that contribute nothing, have you?
Yeah, when I have to do 15~ hours of research daily (including weekends and holidays)? I'm making damn sure the professor knows it.
I ate nothing but pop-tarts and Chinese food for that whole semester, all for an A-. I threw up several times from the stress.
It was worth it.

>>2786233

You dumb assshitnigger. "Myriad," as a noun, is an archaic term for "10000."

lrn2English

Also, mfw "lrn2English" is not marked as a misspelling.

>>2786249

I'm not the one crying over an A- instead of an A (seriously? is there even a fucking difference?) and raging over something retarded and blaming everyone else for my own failures

>>2786256
maybe you should just be more naturally competent, then you wouldn't have to work such long hours, heh.

>>2786079
>>2786085

Good, good let the butthurt flow through you. People need to learn if you don't do shit you won't get shit in return.

>>2786247

>ends otherwise perfectly grammatically concise and complete sentence with "lol," unpreceded by a comma

sudo chmod 775 areyoume.sh

>>2786256

I'm the lazy guy who makes the aspie kids do the work for me and then bitches at the teacher if they try to jew me out of my undeserved credit

>>2786265

Are you perhaps incensed by the content of my posts? I would advise allowing the anal pain to flow through you.

This thread is for stories of group work that the poster was unhappy about. That is exactly what I posted. If you don't like it, you're in the wrong thread.

whoever turned this into a thread about grammar needs to gtfo immediately

>>2786279
And I'm the analytic mathematician that slaps your shit when you try to take credit where it isn't due. Alpha, etc.

>>2786007
I don't get it.

>>2786160
I don't get this one either.

>>2786265

A huge one if you are trying to get into a nice grad school or are competing for class rank actually....

>>2786007

>>2786233

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/myriad

>Recent criticism of the use of myriad as a noun, both in the plural form myriads and in the phrase a myriad of, seems to reflect a mistaken belief that the word was originally and is still properly only an adjective. As the entries here show, however, the noun is in fact the older form, dating to the 16th century. The noun myriad has appeared in the works of such writers as Milton (plural myriads) and Thoreau (a myriad of), and it continues to occur frequently in reputable English.

Dumbass.

>>2786289

I'll just sleep with the teacher, make fun of you and make you seem like a bad person, then get her to switch my grade and yours after you complain. Then I'll get her to put us in the same group for the rest of the semester.

and you'll whine and take it because you are a bitch.

delicoustears.jpg

>>2786349
Fuck me, grad schools would actually bust your balls over a third of a grade point? It's shit like this that turns people into assholes when they should be concerned about learning.

>>2786258
>it's older therefore it's better
>nostalgiafag detected

>myriad means 10,000
>a 10,000 of
>implying that makes sense>>2786354

>>2786379
nobody cares numbnuts

>>2786349

>>2786218

Here. That is precisely why I made a big deal of the situation. I wish to go to UC Berkely or a similar-tier school for graduate mechanical engineering. I have the grades (currently), but I don't need crap like my earlier post screwing up my chances.

>>2786379

>dozen means 12
>a 12 of
>implying that makes sense

Clearly, I meant that it roughly means 10000 of.

>>2786373

If you're aiming for MIT, Harvard, Caltech, or Stanford.... Definitely unfortunately.
I'm not saying that you couldn't get in if you get a single A- or some shit like that but with a 3.5 average... It would really make shit more difficult.

>>2786379
Used as a adjective, it's 10,000. If you bothered to educate yourself with the link I so generously provided, you would have seen that the noun form, which is still valid, means "a great number" Also, are you calling Henry David Thoreau a moron?

>>2786437

yes fuck that guy

Just to throw my thoughts into the grammar shitstorm.....

The dude used it just fine as a noun.

Now.... Back to /sci/.

>Gen chem II lab
>Semester long experiment
>One week has me doing some titration experiment that requires you to not only be just as accurate as always, but extremely fast since the shit you're using oxidizes with air and will thus fuck up your results if you take longer than a minute
>First three trials are failures due to high percent error
>Second three trials are failures due to high percent error
>This shit keeps up until I need to repeat the lab again
>MFW shit like this happened several times throughout the semester

I fucking hated chem lab so much...

>>2786427
While a 3.7+ GPA is ideal for top tier grad schools, you really only NEED a 3.5. Grad schools care a lot more about research experience and rec letters than grades. A guy with a 3.5 GPA but stellar rec letters and a first authored publication is going to have much better chances of getting accepted to a top tier program than a guy with a 4.0 GPA but whose research experience consists of only a poster.

>>2786497

I haven't done any chemistry lab stuff (let alone titration) since AP Chemistry back in high school but I can totally relate. Your story is SO TRUE as is the rage comic you posted. Screw burettes.

not lab, but whenever we had a presentation of any kind, in group, i always volunteered to make everything that had to be writen down or computer made on teh condition that i dont have to talk infront of everybody, i fucking hated that, i got so nervous

>>2786233

Myriad can function as a noun. English, motherfucker.

Close your asshole, you're getting shit all over /sci/

>>2786195
Liar

>>2786530
I was once like you brother, Id get so mutherfucking nervous in front of a class during presentation. Id get cottonmouth and end up skipping alot of info just to get it over with. In college, I decided to take a speech minor for this reason, and ever since I havent gotten nervous once. The first few classes sucked so hard that all the /sci presentations I did from then on were cake. There is a better future my friend

>>2786497

Titration is not that hard.

Take A-Chem I and you might end up killing yourself if you still suck that much.

>need to transfer 20 L of media from one bottle into the othe in a sterile manner
>colleague decides to use compressed air to do this
>connects the compressed air to the 20 L glass bottle
>doesn't realize the bottle is cracked, opens the air inlet
>BOOM!
>glass shards and blood everywhere
> 30 000 euros damage done to instruments and other lab equipment

>>2786007
>liberating negatively charged hydroxyl ions

I bet that sounds cooler than it actually is