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/sci/ - Science & Math


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2704658 No.2704658 [Reply] [Original]

So any one got some atheist humor or wit?

Pictures, stories, all welcome.

>> No.2704667

And stop. Hammertime.

>> No.2704670
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2704670

>> No.2704671
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>> No.2704677
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>> No.2704685
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>> No.2704696
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>> No.2704706
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2704706

>> No.2704713
File: 83 KB, 600x600, 12.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
2704713

Here's some of our dear friend Atheist Pigeon

>> No.2704717
File: 85 KB, 600x600, atheist-pigeon.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
2704717

>> No.2704719
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2704719

>> No.2704728

>>2704658

>>>/b/

>> No.2704733

>>2704717
>>2704713
problem, christfags?

>> No.2704741

>>2704713
Ok troll, I'll take the bait and argue that science is not accepted on blind faith. The beauty of science is that it's the only system of understanding which is able to accurately predict the outcome of future events (if x then y). No religion has ever been able to rival science in this regard.

>> No.2704743

>>2704719
>>2704717
>>2704713

Why did Christfags butcher Religion Pigeon?

>> No.2704753
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2704753

>>2704713
>>2704717
>>2704719

>butthurt rapid-posting christfag detected ITT
>mfw

>> No.2704757

>>2704713
>>2704717
>>2704719

urdoingitwrong

>> No.2704764

>>2704741

It is if you blindly believe that science can solve any problems you might encounter in life.

Never mind that (like religion) it can easily be abused by unscrupulous individuals as a mechanism of social control.

>> No.2704773

>>2704743

"Atheist Pigeon" doesn't even rhyme. Epic fail.

>> No.2704775
File: 22 KB, 259x425, whatwouldjesusdo.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
2704775

>> No.2704805
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2704805

>> No.2704815
File: 41 KB, 799x626, sciencevsfaith.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
2704815

>>2704773
yeh, atheist pigeon is fucking shite.
try that atheist neckbeard advice dog, those are great for trolling atheists with.

>> No.2704825

>>2704764
Who said anything about believing that science could solve EVERY problem that humankind will ever encounter. If your priority is to understand and predict the outcome of corporeal phenomena, then science is unrivaled. Period.

If you're looking for something to make you feel good about life and your position in the universe, that there is a benevolent father figure looking over you, making sure that you'll be rewarded in some other realm, then I don't blame you for following Christianity.

>> No.2704850

>>2704764

Science can only tell us how the universe works. It can't give us a moral code to live by or inspire us to do great things.

>> No.2704859
File: 348 KB, 750x600, THE BIBLE.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
2704859

/b/

>> No.2704870

>>2704850
That's not true at all. Carl Sagan was one of the most morally upright public figures that I can thing of, and his worldview was entirely shaped by a scientific outlook.

>> No.2704912

Religion without science is blind. Science without religion is lame.

>> No.2704917

>>2704870

But then if you're an atheist, you have no moral code except that of the religions you don't believe in.

>> No.2704918

>>2704850

Untrue. Science is unlocking the secrets of morality as we speak, providing the first coherent model of how our morality works since... well, ever. Meanwhile all religion can do is take pagan notions of the golden rule as a putative general guideline, but then demand death for anyone who breaks any of its hundreds of absurd and arbitrary rules. All the while simultaneously having the brass balls to claim to be the source of all moral thinking.

http://faculty.virginia.edu/haidtlab/mft/index.php

>> No.2704921

>>2704850

You don't need religion to have a moral code you dipshit.
Raise your kids well and they'll turn out well no matter what religion they are.

>> No.2704948
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>> No.2704955
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>> No.2704966
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>> No.2704968

>>2704917
What are you even blathering about?

It can be argued that Atheists have a higher form of morality, because it is not based upon guidelines laid down by some otherwordly diety, which man must follow in order to avoid punishment.

>> No.2704998

>>2704968
not a christfag or anything (am atheistfag), but i think i need to point out the elephant in the room when it comes to atheism and morality: it's a whole lot easier to go mad one day and lose one's sense of morals (and kill people) if your morality comes from a secular humanist standpoint, than it would be if it came from an urge for self-preservation by fear of divine retribution. The latter is false, but that doesn't make it any less effective as a means of keeping people in line.

>> No.2705009

>>2704998
If you get your morals from the bible. Then you should be fine with slavery and stoning people to death. If you believe that slavery and stoning are immoral. Quess what? You don't get your morals from a fucking book.

morals are inherent

>> No.2705044
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2705044

As an athiest, I can tell you that the reason why most of us spend time learning about why religion is bullshit is because we are good people.

We are good people because we are trying to show you, the stupid sheeple, exactly how and why you are being scammed by people pretending to have "god" on their side.

We try so hard because we want to make the world a better place where humans don't take advantage of each other's stupidity through religion.

>> No.2705052
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2705052

>> No.2705077

>>2705009
I actually agree with this completely. I'm torn though. I know that all people should strive towards enlightenment through scientific understanding, but it's been my experience that 90% of the human population (or more) can't deal with the ramifacations of being left alone without a "Daddy-God" to watch over them. Religion is a great way to keep "normal" people in line, but I still think that we need to strive to ultimately find a more true form of morality and ween people, however slowly, off of the teat of religion.

>> No.2705132
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>> No.2705167
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2705167

So there's a Jew, a Muslim and a Christian walking in the desert...Their thirsty and starving...the Christian says "Hey guys lets all pray, and who ever's god is real, will save us" So they all prayed and they all died.

>> No.2705222

>>2704753

Oh shit. It's you again.

GDIAF

>> No.2705229

inb4 atheist circlejerk

...oh wait

>> No.2705251
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2705251

>>2705167
I laughed my ass off at this.

>> No.2705353
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>> No.2705412

>>2704775
>>2705052
Only funny posts.

And to people being trolled by that pigeon: you're either idiots, or idiots. Science is as a belief as any. It's just more open to public scrutiny and inquiry than all other beliefs.

>> No.2705469

>>2705167
brilliant joke

>> No.2705471
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2705471

>>2705412

be·lief
   [bih-leef] Show IPA
–noun
1.
something believed; an opinion or conviction: a belief that the earth is flat.
2.
confidence in the truth or existence of something not immediately susceptible to rigorous proof: a statement unworthy of belief.
3.
confidence; faith; trust: a child's belief in his parents.
4.
a religious tenet or tenets; religious creed or faith: the Christian belief.

We dont fucking believe in science. The way we interact with it is universal. Everything proven scientifically will happen regardless of our interaction. Therefore its not a fucking belief - its a cold hard fact.

>> No.2705573

>>2705471

Definition 3 of your own fucking post, numbnuts. I love how eager you morons are to deny you believe anything, when it is FAITH and not belief that characterizes religion.

>> No.2705585

>>2705573

what's the difference?

>> No.2705600

>>2705573

I dont need confidence in something that works universally you fucking imbecile. Confidence is expressed despite the chance that they may fail.

There is NO chance of failure. I dont need confidence.

>> No.2705607

>>2705585

Belief is mediated thru reason, while faith relies on authority. Basically, you belive something because you have a reason to do so, while you have faith in things when you accept the authority of another without needing any further reason than that.

>> No.2705611

>>2705600

You have confidence that the scientific method works, fuckstick.

>> No.2705619

>>2705607

i think you need to check this out

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/belief

>> No.2705621

>>2705077

That's the problem. Men have already tried building a new society without religion. It failed miserably and killed millions of people.

>> No.2705644

>>2705611

youre just as dumb as the sheeple if thats what you think. Science and religion are the exact opposites of each other. Belief is not required at the end of the scientific process. What comes out is universally applied. How do you want me to describe this for you? I cant think of a dumber way to break it down for you.

>> No.2705649

>>2705621

America is the most religious industrial nation in the world. Has the highest homicide rate per capita among all industrialized nations. Is constantly at war with nations for resources. Keep telling yourself that religion makes people good

>> No.2705664

>>2705649

You can give people the rules, but you can't make them follow the rules.

>> No.2705665

>>2705644

All knowledge is contingent, certainty is impossible. Therefore, anything you claim to know, is a belief. Your problem is that you associate the word 'belief' with only one of its possible meanings (as a synonym for 'blind faith').

>> No.2705675

>>2705649

Remember. Correlation does not equal (fill in the blank)

>> No.2705687

>>2705664

The people don't make the rules for people to follow them. They're made to be broken. It gives them the ability to claim that their authority is necessary and legitimate. They claim that without them things would go to shit. It's the other way around. Leaders perpetrate the most destruction.

>> No.2705698

>>2705675

I didn't claim that religion causes violence, dip shit. I was claiming that it doesnt prevent it. Nice reading comprehension you got there.

>> No.2705704

>>2705665

While certainty is impossible, it is possible to be 99.99% sure.

Fuck off and die.

>> No.2705717

>>2705698

There's always going to be violence because of human nature.

>> No.2705720

>>2705704

It's not my fault you're unable to understand concepts schoolchildren have no trouble with.

>> No.2705724

>>2705649
America also had more black people than any other first world nation. Coincidence?

>> No.2705727

>>2705704
> it is possible to be 99.99% sure

Really? How would you measure that, exactly?

>> No.2705731

>>2705724

Yeah, welfare does that to a person.

>> No.2705739

>>2705717

Last time I checked, I haven't killed anybody, scammed anybody or hurt anybody in any physical sense. So, I think I have to say that I must not have this thing you call human nature or at least not the one you're referring to

>> No.2705750

>>2705739

Right, and you're likely just following the moral code of Christianity.

>> No.2705778
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2705778

>>2704719
>>2704717
>>2704713

How embarrassing.

>> No.2705869
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2705869

>> No.2705888
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2705888

>>2705869

>> No.2705922

>>2705704
>Fuck off and die.

What's the matter, person? Why do you attack the guy with a decent argument? Just admit you don't know SHIT about epistemology. I don't disagree you may be good at your scientific field, but try to heed other people's opinions, especially when you're clueless on the subject.

>> No.2705928

God exists. How mad?

>> No.2705939
File: 88 KB, 640x729, horus-attis-mithra-krishna-dionysus.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
2705939

Contributing.

>> No.2706107

>>2705939
Attis was worshipped as the god of vegetation, responsible for death and rebirth of plant life. It was thought that each winter he died and in the spring he was reborn. Each spring his resurrection would be celebrated. It goes without saying that spring does not take place in December, nor is the change of seasons a crucifixion, there is no mention of any tombs anywhere, and seeing how he is dead all winter, it goes without saying that winter is longer than 3 days.

>> No.2706121

>>2706107
There is no mention of a star in the east signaling the birth of Krishna in the literature, nor was not resurrected upon his death. Krishna was of the royal family of Mathura, and was the /eighth/ son born to the princess Devaki, and her husband Vasudeva (lol virgin)

>> No.2706140

>>2706121
Dionysos He was not born to a virgin, his mother was a mortal Semele (daughter of Cadmus) and his father was Zeus. We know that Zeus had other male children so Dionysos is also not his "only begotten son". Similar to the story of Attis, Dionysos died each winter and was resurrected in the spring. Again, this is hardly December, much less the 25th of said month. He did, however perform miracles, mostly things involving wine, because he was the god of wine -- naturally he could turn water into wine. There is no evidence that the titles "King of Kings" and "The Alpha and Omega" ever applied to Dionysos.

>> No.2706165

>>2706140

Mithras was not born of a virgin, but rather sprang fully grown from solid rock. He was never associated with december, least of all the 25th: His festivals were October 8th, another on September 12-16th, and a cattle pairing festival October 12-16. As to resurrection, there is no indication that Mithra ever even died in the first place. Lastly, the number 12 is not associated with him in any way, and he had no disciples.

>> No.2706172

>>2705939

>Zeitgeist.

Nope.

>> No.2706190

>>2706165

>Mithras was not born of a virgin, but rather sprang fully grown from solid rock. He was never associated with december, least of all the 25th

Shhhhh. You're ruining all the atheists' attempts to claim Christianity was ripped off of earlier religions.

"And you shall know the truth, and the truth will set you free."

-- John 8:32

>> No.2706198

>>2706165

Horus' mother was Isis, wife of Osiris and goddess of fertility. The idea that she was a virgin is laughable. Again, he had no disciples, much less 12. There is no reference anywhere to a "star in the east" or "three kings" and "new-born savior"; it is simply made up. He was not born on December 25th, he was born on the 5th day of the "Epagomenal Days", which do not ever take place in December, but rather between August 24th and 28th, or possibly July 30th through August 3rd

>> No.2706210

>>2706190

... You DO realize that Jesus wasn't born on the 25th of December either, and nor was Mary a virgin (the original word used simply means 'young')?

>> No.2706220
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2706220

>>2706190
>Shhhhh. You're ruining all the atheists' attempts to claim Christianity was ripped off of earlier religions.

Nice fact checking there. Also what does it matter if christianity was ripped off to you or me or anyone else? Just another turd religion in a sea of shit.

Meh. This is me not giving any fucks at all.

>> No.2706247

>>2706210

Of course not. Jesus could have been born in August for all we know. The church arbitrarily picked December 25th because it was a date familiar to pagans.

>> No.2706259

>>2706198

Jesus was probably born on January 6: Other contenders are the 20th of May, March, April or January. The notion that his mother was a virgin was a later Greek addition. He had 13 disciples, not 12. The "star in the east" is alos a later addition to the story, and does not exist in the oldest extant versions.

>> No.2706279

>>2706259

They probably changed it to 12 because it was a lucky number while 13 was unlucky.

>> No.2706283
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2706283

>>2706259
So they're making shit up as they go along?

Solid.

>> No.2706296

>>2706283
Yep
can't even get the beginning down right

man and women equal?
fuck that she wanted to be on top, so lets just says she is a demon and never mention any of this again.

>> No.2706308

>>2706283

The evidence suggests that Mathew and Luke each independently combined an apocryphal tale of the destruction of Israel written by Mark with a collection of teachings of the Rabbi Yeshua, c. 100BC, to form a pseudo-narrative.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Q_gospel

>> No.2706335
File: 211 KB, 672x1430, prove it.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
2706335

>> No.2706349

>>2705939
Dionysus was not born of a virgin on Dec 25th, neither did he perform miracles, or "king of kings"d or "alpha and omega"d.

Unless you count some of the more obscure myths, but then you're a fucko, because Christianity shares in the Bacchic rituals of the wine, so why would you make up all that shit or bring up lesser cults, when it's obvious the Eucharist is Bacchic in origins?

Get your shit together anti-Christians. You're making us real atheists look like retards.

>> No.2706361

>>2706349

meet

>>2706140

>> No.2706365

>>2706140
why are you obsessed with december 25th? as far as christianity goes, it has no association with dec. 25th either. they didn't even celebrate christmas for hundreds of years after jesus died, let alone celebrate it on dec. 25th.

and, if we're talking about it, no one even wrote the gospels of christ until over 70 years after christ's death.

with no cameras, no tape recorders no nothing, that's a hell of a long time to wait to write an 'eye witness testimony'

but none of this even matters, as proving christianity isn't /exactly/ like other religions before it is not the point. the point is christianity bears enough basic similarities to other religions before it to warrant it as a possible evolutionary growth of them. for example, the central theme in christianity of a story son of a god who is both mortal yet godly is not exactly a common concept. hercules can be seen as a parallel to jesus. both faced trials and tribulations, both were half god half human. both willingly died at the end of their lives as a final solution to their tribulations. hercules burned himself to death, jesus let himself by crucified. both were the son of 'god' or the main god. both were role models for their respective religions.

>> No.2706376

>>2706365

It was a reply to the guy who posted the Zeitgeist macro.

>> No.2706405

>>2706308

There's also the Gospel of John, which tends to use more abstract, mystical language than M, M, & L. It also contains a more graphic account of the Crucifixion than the latter, as it's traditionally believed that John was a personal witness to that event while the others weren't.

>> No.2706406
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2706406

>>2706361
Yeah, thanks but pic related. I can't possibly know he replied to the same post, if he doesn't quote it.

My point still stands. Anti-Christians are retards.

>> No.2706430

>>2706405

No, John is later, around 90AD, and drew exclusively from Matthew and Luke.

>> No.2706457

>>2706406

Well you could, I don't know, actually read the thread before posting in it. Still, no harm, no foul.

>> No.2706468

>>2706210
he was too a miraculous conception

except he was no he, for a person with only a haploid set of cells would only resemble the anatomy of an amorphous blob, therefore when mary underwent parthenogenesis, resulting in a mass of liquid putrefaction, it was seen as an act of god

>> No.2706500

Hey atheists.

If God doesn't exists, then how come there are millions of images, books and movies regarding him?

>> No.2706513

>>2706500
Hey troll
If the god emprah of humanity doesn't exist how come there are probably less than millions but none the less impressive amounts of images, books, and a few movies regarding him?

>> No.2706537

>>2706513

Hey troll
That's because your god is a fake one, and has as much intrinsic value as dogshit
God created the universe itself, along with all of it's laws
As for your false god, it created jack shit

>> No.2706546

>>2706537
Not to versed in 40k are we?
Intimidated that its gods have a better story than yours?

>> No.2706562

>>2706513
>>2706546

Effortlessly trolled, Jesus Christ /sci/

>> No.2706587

>>2706546

>40k hammer

Manchild detected

I thought people stopped playing those kind of silly toys and D

>> No.2706598

>>2706587
what videogames and books?

yea, everybody gave those up for facebook and mafia wars.

>> No.2706643

>>2706587

>>>/tg/

>> No.2706779

Too many assburgers in here. It's a fucking humour thread.