/sci/ - Science & Math

Since that day I've been using my powers of science for evil.

>school has costume party
>go to school dressed as Bob Ross
>mfw

>>2344104

>My report is on the duck-billed platypus
There is no other kind of platypus! thats like saying "my report os on the duck billed duck" you should have pointed that out buddy

>Visit school library
>Try to pry dictionary from in between two encyclopedias
>All books on that rack fall off
>Got detention
>mfw

>>2344125
By that logic, he could have insulted the jellyfish for not actually being made of jelly.

>>2344125
>he's never seen a horn beaked platypus

>turn into a bear
>mfw

>>2344148
please show me a link/sauce?

>>2344143
you... i... fuck man... what the fuck?

>>2344143

>>2344105
Fucking win

>It's my entire school career
>Glide by by sucking up to teachers hardcore, having an extensive vocabulary, and actually paying the fuck attention in class. Wonder why people have to spend hours on homework
>End senior year with a 3.4 GPA.
>It doesn't work in college. Like, fucking, at all.

>Physics for Engineers I cause I'm a chem major
>Every problem ever
>Oh it's easy!
>Get it wrong
>Oh wait it's like a million steps

>4th grade science class
>teacher asks "How is it possible, that when you put a raw steak into a sealed glass jar, that it will get maggots?"
>noone speaks; noone knows how
>I say: "Because the fly eggs were already in the meat!"

>mfw everyone looks at me like I'm fucking genius

>>2344275
>mfw you WERE smarter than basically everyone before 1668.

>>2344090

Don't worry OP, the teacher only did that to help your friend avoid looking like complete garbage.

>>2344285
>mfw you are confusing knowledge with intelligence

>>2344297
>mfw you don't have a face.

>8th grade
>Science Fair Time! :D
>Had just finished reading October Sky
>Design some rockets of my own, get about 15 of them made using stuff from my older brother who is taking metalshop in high school
>Think up 15 things that have exothermic reactions to use as fuel, ranging from from gasoline to hydrogen that I obtained through electrolysis with a car battery
>Decide in the interest of safety to launch them away from housing.
>My Hypothesis: Using exothermic reactions as a means of propelling rockets will generate a negative parabolic curve to describe their efficiency and capability as a means of propulsion. ie- weak reactants won't work very well but explosive ones won't either, there'll be a middle ground somewhere and I wanted to figure out where.
>I am going to have the most AWESOME science fair project in the history of EVER.

Now, at the time, I lived on a military installation. I had just finished exploding my hydrogen when an army of no less than five security cars asking what the fuck am I doing blowing shit up and firing homemade missiles off on a USAF installation.

>mfw I get grounded and had to do a project on grass growth

>feel like contributing
>realise I have no school rage moments
>my school was awesome
>mfw

>10th grade
>student ask if toilets in Australia flush the other way because of corealis (or whatever) effect
>teacher confirms yes

I believed it long enough that I was contemplating going to the washroom during a test, and then flushing it to help answer a question I was having trouble with.

>Fourth grade, near the end of the year
>Teacher is giving out little prizes for answering questions
>Next prize is a hotwheels car
>holy fuck i wan that
>teacher says question
>immediately, my hand bolts in the air and I spew forth the answer. Beautiful.
>Teacher: "Im sorry anon, I didnt call on you."
>teacher calls on next kid.
>he recites everything I said, verbatim, the whole time looking at me smiling.
>arch nemesis for life

>be in grade 10
>have to do some english project for 'English Fair'
>partner up with someone I am familiar with but not really friends with
>doesn't show up on the day of the presentation after saying many times he would be there
>have to bullshit his part
>he said he had a lip infection
>mfw

>>2344385
same guy here

>be in 6th grade
>were doing reports on celestial objects, like stars, the moon, asteroids, gas giants, blah blah blah
>get Mars, fuck yea
>get partnered with the stupid fat fuck in class who no one likes
>"Oh dont worry anon ill do whatever you want me to do! We going get an A plus sign, right!?"
>Me: "Fine, you can start by finding a picture or two of Mars."
>He leaves. I start researching.
>an hour later, I have about half the report done. I dont see mcfatshit anywhere
>whatever, i suppose i should have expected this.
>finish report by myself.
>Mr.cantfindhisdick walks up to me the next day
>"I found some pikshures of Jupiter like you asked!"
>Theyre all scribbled circles of purple crayon
>mfw

>>2344385
>>2344412
same guy here

>7th grade
>In gym class
>we had gym uniforms you had to buy from the school
>being a moron, I got the sweatshorts instead of the sweatpants.
>were doing stretches on the gym floor
>girl next to me sees my 12 year old penis poking out of my shorts
>screams, tells teacher
>embarrassed in front of whole class
>get suspended for a month for "lewd activity, disruption of class, harassment"
>her mom threatens to sue me
>my life is almost permanently ruined
>goddamnit american legal system
>goddamnit gymshorts
>goddamnit penis
>and the girl was an ugly whale who ended up dropping out and had a kid when she was 16

>>2344427
All my hate, seriously... fuck that.

>>2344385
>>2344412
>>2344427
same guy here

>9th grade
>taking an art class for easy elective credit
>im actually pretty good at drawing
>dumb senior bitch in my class doesnt like this
>shes super jelly
>splatters ink over three of my pieces the day before they're due
>next critique, she splatters paint on my stuff the day before they're due
>talk to her in private, ask her wtf her problem is
>calls me a faggot loser bitch pussy
>fine. whatever. cunt.

>three years later. She stayed in art classes all high school
>has massive art folder containing hundreds of pieces by the time shes about to graduate.
>"accidentally" misplace her entire portfolio
>finds it a week later in the garbage dump behind the school; 80% of the pieces are burnt to shit, the rest look like they got run over by a truck
>mfw all I did was put her portfolio in a different shelf

>>2344427
what the fuck, america, what the fuck

>>2344259
Your the reason I hated high school

>>2344441
making me rage. please continue

>>2344446
You jelly? Don't be, I'm in the same boat as him. This shit does NOT work in college. (Although I didn't suck up to teachers, I just did my work.)

>>2344441
sir, I feel as if I have lived my life by your side now. you've taken me along a wild ride, and now you've had a great ending. I just wanted to thank you, or please continue

>>2344385
>>2344412
>>2344427
>>2344441
same guy here

>10th grade
>physics class
>fun class, but the teacher is a really creepy balding guy with whispy red hair and a red mustache and goatee who hates his students and has a mail-order bride who hates his guts. His son committed suicide a few years ago
>He was also a student of my grandfathers when my grandfather taught at a University
>Start out year with respect and sympathy for the guy
>He's really just an unpleasant person. Even if you're nice to him.
>Figure he was having a bad week.
>Nope. He's an asshole all the time.

Funny shit he did
>Everyone, and I mean everyone, always got 62%.
>I had 3 problems wrong out of 20.
>62%
>Friend next to me had 4 problems wrong out of 20.
>62%
>vapid useless and stupid (but nice) girl up front got 6 correct out of 20
>62%
>smart kid in the back got 20 out of 20, even doing the extra credit correctly
>62%

>mfw

>>2344463
Oh god, I am loling and I don't know entirely why.

>>2344449
>>2344451
Im actuly having fun with this now that im in college. continuing

>10th grade
>school is trying out new science class: Astrobiology
>holy shit sign me up thats fucking awesome
>class is just as amazing as i thought it would be
>teacher is confident, beautiful, smart, amazing woman
>shes also an atheist
>tears of joy, i love this goddamn class, best life decision ever

>First day of class
>teacher going over theory of evolution and how it has transformed life on Earth and how it evolution would work on other worlds that might have life
>kid raises hand, teacher stops talking

>do I really have to finish this. We all know what hes going to say.
>Whatever, ill tell you anyway

>"But, in the bible it says that God created the Heavens and the Earth. The Heavens are clouds, and the Earth is the Earth. There aren't any other planets besides our own."
>teacher is dumbstruck. just, completely silent, mouth agape.
>you can hear the creaking of necks to turn and look at this kid
>he smiles in victory

>teacher breaks silence by laughing out loud. like, really fucking loud. for a long time.
>kids smile is shattered
>he doesnt show up for class ever again
>mfw

>awesome physics teacher
>shitty classmates
mfw he has spend most of the lesson explaining stuff like <span class="math"> velocity = \frac{distance}{time} [/spoiler]. Shit hit the fan when there was a <span class="math">^2~or~ \sqrt [/spoiler] anywhere.
things did eventually get better

>>2344485
Thats the best one.

>>2344090
>2nd grade
>Reports on animals
>Create the animals out of boxes and shit
>Annoying friend makes a platypus
>Looks like shit
>Horrible report
>I make a muskrat
>Looks fucking fantastic
>Report was amazing
>100 get
>Have fake muskrat at home now

It was on that day that I learned that muskrat defeats platypus. I will always defend the honor of the muskrat.

>>2344090

>live in australia
>be your friend
>teacher ; "BONUS MARKS BECAUSE AUSTRALIA"

Platypus always wins

>>2344450
I am not jelly. I hated school because it didn't recognize intelligence or inspire passion. It simply rewards the ability to eat their bullshit, and do thoughtless work. I used to care about seeming smart when I was young but hated kids who would put on this act and get tons of reverence. Now I don't give a fuck. Most people are retarded.

>>2344463
How the fuck did he get away with giving everyone 62%?

I doubt that's even true, in reality he probably just curved it with a very low standard deviation, and how would you know that he had a mail order bride, or that his son commited suicide?

This whole story sounds like the type of bullshit stories that dumbass high schoolers make up.

>>2344485
same guy

>12th grade
>sign up for a bunch of computer science classes, figuring they will help me in college
>class fills up with neck beards, virgin social dumbfucks, really creepy kids who have probably hidden bodies in their backyard, and other miscreants
>teacher slithers in
>first programming project is making a nametag in photoshop

>Mentally disassociate myself with reality for rest of class
>End of class, teacher forgot something, no one did anything
>fat kids made Yu-Gi-Oh jokes

>dropped all of my tech classes the next day.
>replanned my entire future because of that class
>mfw people actually are interested in this shit

>>2344505
He gave people their correct grades in the computer, but he always wrote 62% on the actual homework or test or whatever. it was fucking weird, i don't know what was going through his head.

His son was a senior when I was a freshman. He killed himself a week before graduation. The whole school was shocked.

His mail order bride wife is the only thing that might possibly be a joke around the school because I personally havn't seen her, but others say they have. Oh well

>>2344509
>programming
>using photoshop
protip: these two aren't the same thing

>>2344517
Yes, I know. But the teacher thought it was. Why do you think I couldn't get out of there fast enough.

>first programming project is making a nametag in photoshop

>>2344509
same guy

>senior year, taking a half schedule
>that means only three classes nigga
>play soccer for high school, so I need at least one more class to qualify
>take online physics, be captain of soccer team

>senior year is super easy and awesome and hilarious and fun
>mfw I have no rage about this at all, I just wanted to brag


dont worry, real school rage will be in next story

>>2344532

>Information Software Technology Textbook
>Safety Section
>"Place printer in a soundproof box to avoid hearing damage"

>mfw when you can't actually fucking print, what the fuck textbook

>10th grade, or so I recall.
>math class
>teacher writes the solution to a problem on a test; solution she wrote was wrong, and I corrected her (she had marked my solution wrong on the test, so I wanted my extra fucking marks).
>teacher gets mad butthurt.
>everyday after that, she ignores me.
>raise hand, "no one has an answer?".
>nearly fails me.
>tells me I won't be able to handle [U] courses, and [C] courses would be best for me.


>grade 12.
>in calculus, teacher is late.
>the teacher I had in grade 10 subbed in until he showed up.
>she says hi to everyone, pretends I don't exist.
>everyone is up doing shit, talking walking around since we're all basically done.
>i'm sitting down, finishing up when someone asks me when the exams or whatever it was, were.
>i get up to go to the side of the room, the schedule was covered by a poster so I moved it out.
>"[ANON] GET BACK TO YOUR SEAT"
>I look around.
>everyone is either in the class or walking out.
>i've only been out of my seat for less than 8 seconds.

Fuck this shit.

>>2344552
Canadabro?

>>2344537
same guy

>11th grade
>government

>teacher is awesome elderly black lady whose really nice and brings in cookies every friday
>but theres a catch
>if you want a cookie, you have to answer a question about government

>fucking cookies
>they are really fucking tasty
>want three cookies. Take three questions, which are on slips of paper, out of a hat.
>teacher says if I can get them all right, she'll give everyone in the class two cookies for free, and i'll get four cookies. But if i get one wrong, no cookies for anyone.
>lets do this shit
>whole class is staring at me
>answer first two questions correctly
>classes eyes are burning holes into my flesh, boring into my skull
>read final question in my head
>cant focus
>oh god, the eyes
>the staring, it burnssss
>look around, im sweating, everyone is glaring at me
>why is this so important to everyone holy fuck
>legitimately beginning to think people will jump me after class if I get this wrong
>get question wrong
>I get no cookies
>I get beat up after class by group of Jocks who suck up to the teacher
>mfw

>>2344552
she sounds like a bitch, bro.

egg her car

>>2344562
yeah. was it the U, C, and U/c that informed you?

>>2344570
>cookie loving fatfuck
>cares what others think
>gets beaten up by brown nosing jocks

disappoint status
[X] disappoint
[ ] not disappoint

>>2344581
Well, yes.

>grade 10 english class
>teacher is a dumbfuck
>spells everything incorrectly, makes racist and sexist remarks
>everyone hates him, we lock him out of class, completely take over teaching the books we're reading
>teacher lasts one more year, has emotional breakdown, leaves teaching since then

>grade 4 and 5 french class
>teacher is crazy and dramatic
>has an emotional breakdown every day in class
>complains her life is so hard, has 200 students
>she looked like mimi from the drew carey show and just as fat
>next year teacher was shocked we didn't know a lick of french

>grade 4-8
>this one black kid, super angry all the time
>couldn't get through one class without throwing a chair/desk/fan
>interrupting my learning you son of a bitch

>>2344570
>want three cookies. Take three questions
And this is where everything went to shit.

>Community College Calc II
>professor is old and has a annoying southern accent
>he shows up 5-10 minutes late 3/4 classes
>hes "teaching" consists of him solving maybe 2-3 fairly easy problems over a 75 minute class, and mumbling while facing the board
>makes several mistakes on every problem and has to go back and fix them
>kid in front of me falls fast asleep every class
>people come and go all period
>I sit next to a hambeast
>I stop going to class
>on my first test I get a 78% because apparently he grades your work and my writing was "too sloppy" and he says he will fail me next time if my writing is sloppy
>he shows up 15 minutes late to final, and passes out some printer paper he grabbed from a copier.
>writes some problem #'s from the book on the board
>final is open book
>i do every problem in sloppy writing in 20 minutes and then spend the other 40 minutes going back and re-writing it so that he won't grade me down for some pedantic bullshit.
>mfw

>college
>taking lab safety course for lab class
>"Do not use the fire extinguisher to put out fires that are blocking your escape"
>wtfamireading.jpeg

>>2344621
>mfw .jpeg and not .jpg

>New school for 10th grade.
>Sign up for AutoCAD class.
>First assignment: handwriting. Like the kind of shit you do in kindergarten when you are first learning the alphabet.
>That is the assignment for the entire week.
>Look at syllabus and realize that we aren't going to even touch a computer for at least four weeks.
>Go to the counselor the next day to get the fuck out there.
>Counselor does nothing. Says it's too late.
>Have to stay in the class. I get reprimanded for finishing assignments.
>mfw

I ended up playing Doom, Portal and Thing Thing for most of that semester. It was a waste of fucking time.

>>2344644
>impying .jpg and .jpeg aren't the same.

>>2344659
>implying they are

>>2344427
What a weakass. AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHA

>>2344650
Ugh, I had an autocad class where we did that the first week too. The teacher was really cool though and we actually had to design and build models of shit. He got fired the year after I took it because he got into a bar fight though.

>>2344665
>implying they arent
0/10
Back to /b/ with you.

>>2344665
cool story bro

>>2344674
>>2344677
Enjoy your DOS .jpgfags.

>>2344669
I would have loved to design an build models. That's why I signed up for the fucking class. The most challenging thing we had to do is go buy and build a gingerbread house kit. We couldn't even design our own. Shame about your teacher getting fired.

>be in yr9
>Math teach is some dumbfuck madigascan
>teach gives out extra 5 points on the next test if you clean the board after the lesson, picking up shit etc.
>end of semester exam come
>gives us all highlighters and tells says if we highlight our answers we get 10 marks extra
>mfw

haha i was always the platypus kid, platypus essays seemed to just write themselves

>Private Christian school
>Every grade ever
>History
>Various time periods
>Always include slavery lessons
>Essays on tests are always about racism
>@ 6th grade, I fucking couldn't stand it any longer
>I snap

>6-8th grade
>Teacher talks about how America was so racist
>Discrimination is horrible
>Class feels guilty
>Everyone is silent
>-raise hand-
>Various moral justifications of slavery
>Debate morals of slavery with teacher in front of class
>Students enter supporting both sides
>Black student makes weak point
>Half of class looks ashamed, half looks pissed
>-raise hand-
>Teacher says we have to move on

>On test
>2-3 normal questions about someone black in time period
>Nothing wrong there
>Essay question
>"Explain how racism in [time period] was evil and how it still exists today and is wrong."
>mfw

>Be In army
>Sgt writing stuff on whiteboard
>"All I know how to spell is gun and pussy, so don't give me no shit"
>Fuck yeah, my two favorite things.

>>2344779
you had moral reasoning to support slavery?

what on earth did you say?

>>2344570
thanks for your amusing stories

>>2344885
glad you were entertained

>>2344588
>implying liking cookies makes you a fatass
>implying not being able to defend yourself from multiple senior football players by youreslf when you're a junior makes you weak

internet tough guy alert

>>2344813
It is lovely simplicity like this that occasionally makes me want to live a life of not really giving a fuck.

>>2344779
>>2344779
I went to a christian school and didn't have those racism lessons, maybe because your in the south?

Btw id just like to tell /sci/ that we were never taught creationism

>>2344667
a weak ass? I was 13. and arguing against something akin to public indecency in an american legal battle. that has nothing to with strength, its just complete and utter bullshit

>>2344441
>9th grade, picked on by senior girl
>3 years
>she's about to graduate
Wat?da

>>2344932
I don't know why i added the 3 years part. ignore it. it was just at the end of that year.

>11th Grade
>Sign up for vocational school
>all my friends are like "LOL ANON U R RETARD U NOT GONNA INTO COLLEGE BECAUSE U TAEK VOC FOR RETARDS"
>Top of my class (taking public safety in voc)
>Student of the quarter for my class in both 11th grade and 12 grade
>All of my other classes in regular school are a fucking breeze, Public safety is the only challenging class (passed it with a 97)
>Become a certified EMT, volunteer firefighter, and get into west point
>Be armyfag, Military police
>Get out, looking for jobs
>So many public safety stations licking my balls
>Most of my high school buddies are either living shitty lives or have jobs and places they hate
>MFW I'll never be rich, but I absolutely love my life.

> 2:nd grade
> teacher sayin' that USA is the biggest country in the world
> I NOPE:d and said it was Russia
> mfw I got detention

And I'm not even an amerifag

>>2344948
You silly boy everyone knows the US owns half the world

>>2344935
Oh okay, got it. Awesome story

>9th Grade
>Sign up for Computer Programming I and II
>Spend year learning C++ and enjoy making different programs
>Figure out something no one else can; teacher clearly recognizes I'm smarter than anyone else in there

>10th Grade
>Sign up for Computer Programming III and IV
>Spend year in the back of a class full of I and II students with a textbook
>Have clearly surpassed the teacher, who doesn't know wtf to do with me
>Divide time between trying new programming stuff and sleeping

He was a nice guy but they really need more competent teachers.

>>2344779

>Some babble about how repressed and unfortunate some fag is about slavery and racism because he has to learn about it (if you don't pick up the joke the first time reading this, do it again)
>Says it's morally justifiable just to be spiteful (or maybe actually believes it)
>Uses bill o'ryle as a reaction pic

You have to be a troll or some deep-south retard--not sure.

At my Catholic school they made us read a lot of books about the dropping of the atomic bombs and the holocaust. Not so much about slavery, but I think a lot of christian school just like to emphasize the horrible things humans are capable of.

>5th grade, get put in advanced science and math fuck yeah
>in regular english we're doing spelling....words i had 3 years before. get frustrated.
>regular history we're doing the rev. war AGAIN/worksheets. frustrated/bored.
>go to guidance counselor, say english and history are too easy, want to be moved up to the advanced section.
>they say i can't because my CAT test (yes, the fucking old ass CAT test) scores weren't 'high enough'
>get parents to make them let me take the advanced english/history
>counselor says i'm gonna fail
>mfw all As

>college sociology class
>30 people in class
>taught by grad student
>refuses to learn anyone's name
>calls my best friend 'def leppard' because she wore a band tee to class.
>calls me 'next to def leppard'
>mfw
>proceed to be an ass to him for the rest of the semester, play devil's advocate in all discussions
>bitch him out in course evaluations, tell him to wash his nappy hair.

>statistics course
>no one's doing well on the homework
>prof told us to buy the wrong edition of the book so all the HW problems are different
>mfw

>>2344446
>Your
I think I had little to do with why you didn't do well in high school.

>>2344982
>but I think a lot of christian school just like to emphasize the horrible things humans are capable of.

Strange that they wouldn't focus on the Crusades, huh?

>>2344926

different guy here

> be in Junior in a Catholic high school in the south
> speech class
> fat kid stands up and shouts "WHY COME THERE'S NOT A DAY FOR ROBERT E. LEE? IF MLK CAN GET A DAY, WE SHOULD HAVE A R.E.L. DAY!"
> school wide argument for over a week encompassing all grades.
> get questioned by school paper. say "meh, i don't know... the south lost? what's to celebrate? just seems racist imo."
> mfw when i'm the only black person at the reunion and he lost all of his hair.

>Grade 8.
>Typically quietest kid in the class, not one detention or any kind of punishment for anything.
> Ask friend quietly for his eraser.
> Teacher gives me stern look and tells me to be quiet.
> Half Hour later:
> Ask friend for eraser again
> "I TOLD YOU TO BE QUIET, YOU CAN HAZ DETENTION NOA!"
> A week later he's fired for molesting a little girl.
> mwf

>>2345033

>mwf
>my when face

>>2345033
Me again.

> 3rd Grade, have substitute teacher.
> We're practicing hand-writing.
> I do it perfectly.
> Sub tells me I did my "i"s wrong.
> I disagree but don't make a huge fuss.
> Real teacher comes back next day, I was right.
> 6 years later, the sub gets fired for walking into the girls' change room.

(The perv's seem to follow me around...)

>>2345042
could be

"my WIN face"

>1st grade
>I'm sitting next to some annoying kid
>He does some retarded shit on me (can't remember)
>I complain and try to retaliate
>Teacher sees me
>ANON--QUIT DISRUPTING MY CLASS!!! YOU ARE NOW PUNISHED
>The fuck man

> 8th grade french
> Our desks are arranged in rows, but with 2 desks facing each other and pushed up against each other.
> I'm partnered with a huge homo that's trying to stay in the closet.
> starts rubbing my leg.
> Give him a weird look, so he kicks me and the teacher notices.
> I say he kicked me, he calls me a faggot
> I say he's the one that was rubbing my leg, he's the faggot.
> I get detention for calling him a fag.
> He get's a A+.
> mfw

>7th grade english
>teacher writes shit on board for us to copy and study for lit test
>her information is wrong
>I tell her, she doesn't believe me so I open the lit book and read the relevant part
>she refuses to change it and still makes us copy what she has on the board

I later realized that this was because I had her 4th period and she was too lazy to tell 1st - 3rd period to change what they had.

>>2345086

Maybe it wasn't cause you had her 4th period, but rather that she had her period...

amirite?

>>2345089
Nah, she was like that every day of the month

>give an amazing contribution to discussion
>nobody listens at that exact moment
>girl in front of you says the exact thing and steals your thunder
>mfw

>11th grade
>Excited to learn physics
>Slept through most of the classes
>mfw I have an A and a 72%

Insomniac britfag here.
>Year 9 chemistry class, strict old Scottish lady teaching the class, she doesn't take any shit. Even the disruptive kids were fucking silent in her classroom.
> See the guy next to me rolling up a paper dart - these bad boys are lethal, he used to dent metal bins with them.
> He takes the dart and an elastic band under the desk. I see where this is going and try to keep a straight face.
> Annoying fat bully type guy opposite us suddenly screams out "OHMIGOD MY LEFT BAAAALLLLLL!" and falls on the floor.
> the fat guy gets detention for disrupting the class.
> mfw

>>2345176
cool. and how the hell do you make something that can dent bins out of paper?

I guess you could say OP was... jelly

YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAH

>year 9
>take Japanese
>doing midterm
>directions are in FUCKING JAPANESE
>miss an entire fucking section beause I don't know what it says
> would have gotten 95 but instead get 88
>mfw

>>2345203
i also want to know this!

>>2344485
Hohohohohoho

>>2345203

I dunno if dart is the right word here.
We'd use a piece of paper, around 2-3 square inches and roll it as tightly as possible diagonally. Usually we'd unroll and re-roll to make sure its as thin as possible. Fold in half. At this point you can test it by tapping the business end onto the desk with some force. Fire it using one of those elastic bands that aren't too thick, but big enough to get a really long stretch going.
Wasn't like a huge dent, and the bins were pretty shitty, but one time a guy punched a hole in one of those bins by attaching the metal clip from a pen lid to the paper.

>>2345244
fuck dude

>>2345244
i think the word you are looking for is "tweeter"

>Be in 3rd Grade, have problem with random fainting have Special Ed status.
>Take IQ Test, score high enough to be put in a special program called SEEK during 4th Grade.
>SEEK program teacher flips when she sees a SpEd kid on her roster.
>Complains loudly to a School Board Member, School Board Member is my mom.
>Teacher asked not to come back

>12th Grade of High School
>Have a 2.1 Cumulative GPA because I'm a lazy fuck suffer from depression and nearly took my own life last year because of all the pretentious fucks at my school
>Doors closed, doors closed everywhere now.
>FRUSTRATED AS FUCK MAN >:(

>9th grade english class
>teacher is a fat idiot bitch
>starts talking about ghosts
>I tell her ghosts are impossible
>she argues with me
>I get sooo mad, and tell her to "shut up", "just shut up, you idiot"
>she goes silent and pauses and then tells me to go to the prinipals office
>I say "no", I say "take your own fat ass to the office, so you can give that faggot a blowjob to keep your job"
>I storm out of class and see a nigger laughing at me.
>next month I set up the powerpoint to start playing a video about niggers during class.
>I find out where the nigger lives and I prank call him serveral times a day, calling him a "worthless nigger"
>I prank call the fat bitch teacher every day and pretend to be the principal and tell her "to suck my cock or you are fired"

>>2345286

Yeah you earned a shitty GPA. You made the choice to dick around and be all mopy, while others where dealing with it.

Not everyone can succeed. You are one of the people that don't get to because you wasted potential.

Boo-fuckin-hoo

>10th grade physics
>Third day of class
>Somehow the topic of the moon gets brought up
>One kids raises his hand and asks "is the moon a planet or a star?"
>He's dead serious, I burst out laughing
>Stop when I realize no one else is laughing
>Half the kids in the fucking class have blank expressions on their faces as if they're thinking REALLY hard about it and start asking each other and the teacher "yeah...what is it? A planet or a star?"
>MFW

Later on in the semester in that same class
>Teacher is talking about electrical grounding
>Asks class why we think you're safe from getting struck by lightning in a car
>Girl raises her hand, gets called on
>She enthusiastically answers "Because when you're driving you're going too fast for the lightning to hit you!"

>go to private christian school for all 12 years (seventh day adventist, if you're wondering)
>am taught this whole time evolution is just a theory and is useless
>the earth is 6000 years old and god created everything exactly how it is
>get to public university, take evolutionary biology course
>mfw i see my JH science teacher

>>2345286
I feel for you, anon. I'm trying to pull up my grades right now. Third semester doing grade 12 courses :(
I have a lot more problems then just depression and pretentious fucks though, so I deem you a faggot.

>>2345319
lol, dumbass bitch, but you were a typical 14 year old retard starting shit over something so minor

>>2345351
Really? Luna is a fucking MOOON! How many air breathers did your school have?

>>2344382
>coriolis effect
>changes the way water flushes

nigger you're a full retard, through and through.

>>6th grade spanish class
>>teacher asks what phrases we can say in spanish
>>raise hand - "me crack casa is sue crack casa"
>>rest of class sitting in hallway

>It's 5eme in the french system
>There's a science quiz
>The teacher asks everyone a question
>If you get it wrong you're out, if you get it right you stay for the next round
>The winner gets 100%
>Get half way
>Have a conversation about monotremes with the professor during break
>Get to final round, the first to answer the final questions wins
>Professor winks at me
>The question is what order does the platypus belong to
>I mistook the french word for platypus (ornithorynque) for ornithomimidae
>Skream out Dinosaur instead of Monotreme
>Bitterness for 7 years

>12th grade discussion type class
>do 3 weeks of debating random issues of morality
>every time i talk, class listens then totally disregard my points
>bad debates continue, everyone continually gets off topic and uses invalid points
>keep my mouth shut
>write a 4 paragraph summative paper stating how terrible the class is at debating and that we get no where- i have nothing to summarize
>teacher gives me a 100%, despite it being 3 pages too short.
>agrees with me and says the class is basically a lost cause
>mfw

same class as above
>watch "the cider house rules"
>spend 4 weeks debating about all the issues in it
>talk maybe 3 times
>first 2 times class goes silent and have no responses
>3rd time i get disregarded
>write 12 page summative paper
>teacher tells the class my paper is the best he's ever seen
>makes me read it out loud to the class
>130%
>mfw nobody knew my writing skills were that good

>>2344259
i hated people like you in my high school...a lot

>>2344650
Holy shit dude, Parchment? char

>Elementary
>Bullied all day er day
>Beat up everyday, get detention/suspended for fighting back
>Skip as much as possible, get by with 50-60s

>JH, same thing. Random outburst in class that cause me to have mental breakdowns like a useless faggot.
>Completely belittled by so-called friends
>Skip as much as possible 50-60

>High school
>Same as above, skip as much as possible
>Fuck up graduating my one glass
>Drop out
>I'm a failure
>I'll never be a scientist
>I can't even get a job at mcdonalds


I hate these threads

> 4th grade teacher says that all signals from nerves are processed by the brain
> I correct her and say that some important reflexes are processed by the spinal cord
> She says I'm wrong and I reply that I read it in a book
> I unthinkingly reply "My Snoopy books," referring to my set of (very good) educational books that just happen to be illustrated with Peanuts characters.
> The whole class laughs at me

>in high school
>have Asperger's
>graduate top of my class

"You didn't like school
And you know you're nobody's fool
So welcome... to the machine."

>>2344259
>>2344259

>Spend high school just getting by and failing at least 1 class per year.
>Get in to collage!
>Now doing pharmacy prereqs for pharmacy as a chemfag.

I had plenty of rage moments in HS.

One teacher didn't let us put our feet up on the bottom of chairs where you put the books. I got like 6-7 people including me to put there feet up and he raged.

Same teacher during a test. no talking. Someone asks for a pencil. They get kicked out. Their best friend throws a fit. Also kicked out. I yell "BYE!". I get kicked out. My friend yells something at me, he also gets kicked out and it continued for like 4-5 more people. It was lulzy.

Our principal had a DUI too. I guess since it was a private school he didn't get fired. Watching him get dropped off by his wife for a month was great though.

I miss high school for all the stupid shit I got to do. I love college though, can't wait to hopefully get into pharmacy school though

>>2345358
>SDA
Oh shit mah boii we are two peas in a similar pod.
I got out of that shit when my family kinda hit bottom financially.
AND I NEVER LOOKED BACK.
I was a remedial science student for a year, but my teacher taught me to love it, and I ran with it.

>9th grade english class
>teacher is a fat idiot bitch
>starts talking about ghosts
>I tell her ghosts are impossible
>she argues with me
>I get sooo mad, and tell her to "shut up", "just shut up, you idiot"
>she goes silent and pauses and then tells me to go to the prinipals office
>I say "no", I say "take your own fat ass to the office, so you can give him a blowjob to keep your job"
>I storm out of class and see a nigger laughing at me.
>next month I set up the powerpoint to start playing a video about niggers during class.
>I find out where the nigger lives and I prank call him serveral times a day, calling him a "worthless nigger"
>I prank call the fat bitch teacher every day and pretend to be the principal and tell her "to suck my cock or you are fired"

>Gym class physical exam
>really sick and threw up during class
>tell teacher but makes me participate anyway
>says he is disappointed in me for not doing so well
>MFW

>>2344275
It's for these reasons that people think I'm more intelligent than I actually am.

>9th grade world history
>love it, HATE my classmates for the most part
>sit next to the obnoxious kid who always yells random things in retarded voices
>everyone fucking loves it
>the teacher never tells him to stop
>proceed to be quiet because I have nothing to say to these people

sigh

>>2344259
>mfw I did the same thing
>now barely passing college courses

>in 1st or 2nd grade
>have to name animals on some sort of test
>write catfish and dogfish
>teacher marks dogfish wrong
>ask why
>"It's not a real animal"
>ALL MY RAAAAAAAGE

>>2345576
hohoho, i have a similar story

>11th grade spanish
>love it, HATE my classmates for the most part
>sit next to the obnoxious kid who always yells random things in retarded voices
>everyone fucking loves it
>the teacher never tells him to stop
>one day, he yells his Carlos Mencia-like catchphrase for the millionth time
>smirks abound
>I say "_NAME_, shut up, you're an idiot."
>Teacher thanks me graciously and gives me citizenship points

i smiled like an idiot for the rest of the class while he raged audibly

>>2345593
>mfw I would have marked you wrong too, as I did not know there was a such thing and would not have given a second grader BOTD enough to look it up
>I have no reaction image that expresses self loathing.png

>>2345611
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dogfish

It's real. I saw it an animal show or something the day before.

>3rd grade
>spend all summer studying multiplication and division
>excited to start school and rule at math
>review addition and subtraction for the first quarter
>confronted with multiplication and division
>forgot everything
>mfw

>grade 9 hanging out in the drama class
>someone switched the light off
>throw the shoe off someone I dont like through window
>lights on and teacher doesnt know who did it
>mfw

>high school
>realize i'm a fucking creep

;_;

>11th grade
>teacher puts "just desserts" on the board
>I correct her, saying it should be "just deserts"
>nobody believes me, everybody bitches at me, including the teacher
>I call the teacher a cunt
>hfw

>>2345690
how do you know she wasn't talking about desserts?

Like the phrase: "He got his just desserts"?

>10th grade party
>slut passes out drunk
>I carry her to a private location
>Undress her
>just about to insert penis
>niggers come up out of nowhere throwing their gang signs.
>I tell them to "fuck off niggers"
>gang fight ensues
>I kick all their asses so hard they all pass out from pain.
>I insert penis
>She wakes up
>she says "don't stop"
>best day of my life

>>2345708

>best day of my life
>and then I woke up

>>2345684

We had a few of those at my high school. Like it seemed like he was trying to be himself but all he would do is be awkward and super creepy. FUCKING CREEPER. I was friend with him though. I was friends with everyone.

>>2345716
Ok, i admit i made up the part about the niggers, but I did the rest.

>U MAD UR TOO MUCH OF A FAGOT TO GET INVITED TO A PARTY?

>>2345690

Oh wow man. You are straight retarded if you didn't just misspell your shit just now.

>11th grade sociology class
>teacher talks about smoking pot
>teacher talks about LSD
>teacher plays prog rock every day
>teacher comes into class slightly stoned
>teacher gets fired
>New teacher is a conviced pedophlie and child rapist.
>mfw

>8th grade
>teacher is a faggot with a huge beard
>thinks hes hot shit
>I argue with him all year and disprove his liberal theories
>he stops coming to class
>find out he was arrested for raping children.

>>2345773
The worst part is that when a teacher gets arrested for something like this, the school never tells or let any of the students know about it, but if it was for something else, then they have to have a "talk with the students" about him and such. At least at my school was this way.

>>2345623

we know, that's not the point

>9th grade
>professor is a douchebag
>he treats me like shit
>i threaten to kill his wife
>he never disses me again
>straight A's
>mfw

>Write a mock college essay for high school English class
>Write about 8th grade history teacher, badass with a mustache
>After paper was turned in, teacher reads clips of other students paper's over the next week
>Never reads mine.
>Week later, skip a few days of school due to illness
>Come back to find that he read my entire paper once per day in each class for 3 days
>Every class had to write a critique on it
>Come back to find the entire school hates me and my teacher worships me.

3 years later my report is on his website as an example for his current students.

My face when I'm a high school dropout.

>10th grade
>be nihilist at christian school
>learn more about young earth creationism than" secular lies"
>had to learn by myself

>History was my least favorite class
>Didn't pay attention
>Teacher didn't like me
>Do my work right before class
>Finish semester with a 94%, putting most of the class to shame
>mfw

>8th grade
>hardass art teacher, peg leg
>everyone calls him Mr.Gimp, a play on Mr.G
>huge asshole, yelling from day one like a wannabe drill sergeant
>a joke among the hot-to-trot 12 year olds who've got him all figured out
>everyone always argues with him, he always argues back
>"THESE KIDS ARE ALWAYS GETTING IN _MY_ FACE AND NONE OF THEM WORK RAAH"
>constant complaints from everybody's parents
>my mom calls in to complain, he blurts it out in class to intimidate me into behaving
>end up using this to get parent-teacher conference, huge waste of time on everybody's part, it's back to the old routine in no-time
>one day, i'm murmuring nearly inaudibly to my neighbor during explanation of color wheel
>Gimp calls me out again
>has me get in front of everyone teach the color wheel
>fuckin rock that shit
>brief, quiet approval from the teacher
>gets back to yelling like a retard

I was never sure where those in-class arguments started, him or the bratty kids. 99% of us who ended up in his class were itching for an argument from day one. But it wasn't hard at all to achieve that goal, Even kids who kept to themselves ended up in the spotlight at least once. This dude was ridiculous.

To this day I can't tell if he was actually the retarded try-hard we thought he was (he was ALWAYS milking the phrase "there's a method to my madness"), or some eccentric genius who faked a limp as part of his deep joke. Probably somewhere in-between. I'm leaning more to the try-hard side.

>tl;dr verson
TROLLS TROLLING TROLLS TROLLING TROLLS - THE ART CLASS

>>2345729
>>2345784
>>2345784

I posted before I went to a private school.

During my 6 years there:

Principal got a DUI
Theater teacher was having sex with students
Another teacher would look down girls shirts and shit
My 8th grade teacher was working at a nasty strip bar while she was teaching my class, seniors would go to visit her at her other job (Don't know why though, she was eww)

Also we had a younger spanish teacher and a new english teacher that were both pretty young and flirty. They were pretty cool. Still talk with the spanish teacher occasionally.

>>2345876
>>2345876

I had a government class, I couldn't care less about. Teacher was strict about dress code (School uniform shit) I never wore dress shoes, only sneakers.

Well we had a frield trip to the state house in Boston. I wore slippers. They had some pretty good food there too, but we had to spend a few hours listening to old douches talk about shit.

>10th Grade, Catholic High School
>religion class, me being openly atheist
>my nickname, as in everybody calls me atheist even teacher; likeigiveafuck.jpg
>mfw when I finish with the top of the class and actually know all the bible stories is talking about

>Take Calculus I and Physics in college
>Calc is easy as shit, but Physics is kicking my ass
>End up cramming for Physics final and ignoring Calc
>Do piss poor on the Calc final despite having a B+ in the class
>End up with a C-
>mfw you need a C to get into Calc II
>E-mail professor, explain to him that my grade was fine until the final and I know my shit. No reason why I can't be bumped up.
>Professor tells me I'm shit out of luck
>End up having to wait another fucking year to take Calc I

Fuck that professor, seriously.

>>2345933

Ouch, next year I take Physics 1, Calc 1, Organic Chem 1, and Chemical Analysis.

Going to be a fucking fucking year.

That schedule is something I wouldn't do in the same semester, that's like 18 credits of fucking hard courses. And I'm in the Junior level chem courses.

>>2345942

I never had to take Organic Chem, but I've heard people whine about being thoroughly raped. Sounds like bad times.

>Spend all of 3rd - 4th grades voraciously consuming any and all information I can find on whales, including scientific articles
>5th grade teacher basically calls whales fish
>Raise hand decisively, intending to succinctly explain that whales are mammals, even have (excessively fine) body hair, and are highly intelligent
>Teacher sees my hand, rolls her eyes, and continues making broad generalizations about whales and sharks like they're more or less the same

That's when I realized that most of my teachers didn't really give a shit about facts and enthusiasm.

>elementary school
>caught jerking off in the bathroom

Organic chemistry isn't that fucking bad. But then again, I've got butt-raped by my Calc I and II classes that the same people who got abused by the organics said were Fuck-easy, so it really depends on what type of learner you are.

Seriously, Organic chemistry isn't that hard when compared to something like Linear algebra.

>>2345948

We have an accelerated pre-pharmacy program at my school, so just following along. If we fail any course once we get kicked out of the program. By the 3rd year we can start taking classes at a pharmacy school we have in the same city.

Then we still have to apply to a pharmacy school and pray we get accepted. I'll jump out a window if I don't get into any school.

Been doing well so far, just need to start doing more things besides school. Volunteering, want to get a job as a pharmacy tech soon, things like that.

>>2345244
At my school they were "paper hornets"

>>2345735
http://www.snopes.com/language/notthink/deserts.asp

>>2345959
You just really have to understand the course material, and really study. I got an 55 on my first test a 98 on my second a 65 on my third a 85 on my fourth and a 93 on my final. The test destroy multiple choose guessing by putting in 10 answers instead of 5 and making a lot of it "1a 2b 3c 4d 5a&b 6a&c and so on". Guessing is suicide. But if you read ahead you should do OK. I pulled out with a B

>>2345004
Robert E. Lee was a staunch abolitionist fool. You would know that if you weren't a dumb-shit or at least were raised in the south and heard the history.
He literally fought because he supported the anti-federalist movement and he loved his homeland, which was seceding.

>>2346123
Godamn I am too tired to type.

>10th grade AP World History
>like the material, but teacher and classmates are cunts
>sleep through class, get As and Bs on tests
>teacher tells me that AP test is on a whole different level, and that I'm going to fail it
>get a 5 (highest grade)
>mfw

>11th grade physics
>teacher is fucking badass, blackbelt in brazilian jujitsu and constantly makes jokes
>makes us do push-ups and weight-lifting to teach us about power, i fucking max that shit
>kicks girl out for putting on make-up in class, later tells me he hated that cunt
>mfw i'm now a physics major because of him

>10th grade geometry teacher
>everyone thinks she's a frigid bitch with sand up her vagina
>hard homework, go to her after class for help
>same annoying bitch from above asks for help too
>she leaves, i mutter 'i hate that stupid slut' under my breath
>teacher hears me
>oh fuck i'm about to get in trouble
>she bursts out laughing and agrees
>we're tight for the rest of the year
>get A
>school thinks we're fucking
>mfw

Needs bamp

>First grade
>Kids are reading and teacher is working with the "advanced" reading group
> Walk up to her to ask to go
>Before I can ask "Anon go back to your desk"
>Try 2 more times, same answer
>Sit back down
>Piss myself
>Go up to teacher.
>OKAY ANON!! What is it?!?
>Tell her I pissed myself
> Gets pissed that I didn't ask to go to bathroom and makes me clean it up

>>2346445
Me again.
>7th grade Science Project
>Research dinosaur and build model and small environment
>Make dinosaur and give tons of information on it.
>Model breaks the night before
>Explain to teacher and tape it back on.
>Teacher says it is okay
>End up getting a 50-60% on it for being broken or some bullshit
>Classmate brings in dinosaur model that is huge because he can afford it
>Didn't even paint it.
>Information is printed directly off the internet (banners, ads and everything)
>Gets 100%
>ALL MY RAGE

> university co-op course
> do fantastic job, save company ~$100k in hiring a consultant, get immediate job offer from company
> written progress report has bad title page (didn't underline name, no graphics), uses wrong font (not specified anywhere, I should "just know"), not submitted in clear plastic binder (because I had to mail it 4000 km)
> report comes back with suggestions on how to word sentences better, not to use so many big words
> final mark, 65%
> co-op supervisor tells me she was being generous, didn't want me to fail
> costs me top average mark in graduating class

>>2346445
Holy shit this happened to me, too!

>second grade or some shit, i dont know
>watching TV at grandma's house
>grandma is trying to explain how multiplication works to older sister
>i listen in and accidentally learn how to multiply
>sister still doesn't get it
>mfw

>>2346477
Can relate.
This sort of stuff really ruffles my jimmies.

>>2346477
shoulda raped the bitch

>5th grade spelling bee
>between me and advanced class kid
>get YOLK
>accidentally spell WOLK
>teacher apologizes and tells me she knew what I meant but can't accept it

Not mad or anything, but it's all I got.

>>2346125
>staunch
Actually his stance was more 'god will decide when they will be free' than what your implying. though the latter half of your statement is essentially correct.
oh and just to show i'm not some rebfag lover, here's a pic of everyone's favorite lunatic.

>9th grade
>History exam
>Been lazing about whole year
>Shit shit shit
>100%
>mfw

>12th grade
>Geography exam
>Not listened once in class
>34% on mock
>100% in exam
>mfw

>>2346713
On that note...
>5th grade
>get into district spelling bee
>final round, me and some other kid left
>have spell some fucking hardass word, don't remember, but do remember i couldn't find it in the dictionary
>get it wrong
>other kid steps up
>For the grand prize anon, spell "triangle"
>mfw

>Every math class from 5th grade to senior year
>Teacher does some mumbling and shit and ''solves'' three problems in a 90 minute class
>Raise hand, ask valid question
>Get shot down because I 'should be paying attention'
>HATE math because of said teacher
>Almost fail three times

>College
>Have to take Calc I
>Suddenly, math is awesome.

Fuck that teacher. He should've been fired when he got a fucking linear equation wrong and refused to accept the students' answers (like 90% of the class) as the right one, so he gave everyone an F. Stupid fuck.

>4th grade or something
>teacher is a fat bitch cunt
>doesn't know shit about science
>during science class, tries to tell us the Sun is a planet
>everyone with a brain calls her a fucking idiot
>student show up the following day with proof of her idiocy, she is butthurt
>mfw

>college University class
>I've always been the quiet kid in class ever since I was little
>teacher asks, does anyone know what "conjecture" means?
>figure someone going to yell out the answer, go back to reading the class syllabus
>1min later realize no one answered, look around class
>everyone has a blank stare
> answer "isnt that an educated guess?"
>"correct", everyone thinks im a genius
>class was 99 percent women though lol

>About 9 years old
>Teacher telling us that light cannot change direction under any circumstances
>Put my hand up slowly and tell her that light can change direction when being pulled into a black hole
>Teacher calls my parents to tell her that I was being rude and disrupting the class...
>Mfw

MFW all the posts in this thread with mfw and no picture

>>2349505
black holes dont warp light, they warp space.

>>2349555

Gravity is intense enough to bend the light, herp.

>>2349573
Gravity is intense enough to bend the space in which the light belongs to.

>3rd grade
>classmate pukes ALL OVER his desk at the end of the day
>teacher pulls out bag of saw dust seemingly from nowhere
amazed.
>"Mrs. X, what's that stuff?"
>Anon I DONT HAVE TIME FOR THIS!

> High School Physics class
> Teacher tells us to do some exercises
> I finish them early and I close my eyes for a few seconds when the teacher starts correcting
> Fall asleep
> Suddenly wake up, realize I slept through 20 mins of class
> Still correcting first exercise, people posing billions of stupid questions.
> mfw

>>2349583

Gravity is always warping the fabric of space, derp.

>9th grade
>taking an Engineering class
>Not meaning to brag, but I'm the only person in there that is competent enough to do the AutoCAD, and it appears no one else even wants to be there
>AutoDesk Inventor is being a fucking asshole to me and won't let me make shit
>Ask engineering teacher for help
>try explaining it to him, he seems lost
>"Well, ugh, you're just gonna have to do something else."
>he walks away
>wonder why he is the engineering teacher

>>2349513
>mfw I had never been to sci before (although I really should have, I relate to all this stuff), and this is virtually the first thread I've read
>mfw this is the only board I've visited where someone called someone else out on not having a face for "mfw"
>mfw more than one pedantic asshat has done this in this thread alone

>8th grade
>locker is on one side of gym
>have intrmurals in gym
>can only go in one door
>everyone with lockers by me is always late
>get told that if we are late one more time we get lunch detention
>next day
>don't want to be late
>have to go from Algebra to locker
>they are on different sides of the building
>run
>pushing people over
>get stopped by teacher
>"WHY ARE YOU RUNNING?"
>put on trollface
>"MR. ABEL TOLD ME TO MOVE FASTER."


>my face when

>1st grade
>ace spelling test
>everyone else is still working on it
>take out two of my Hotwheel cars and start playing
>teacher takes them from me
>only 1 in my "graded hand back" box at the end of the day
>see the other one sitting on her desk
>take back my fucking Hotwheel car
>fuck that bitch

>>2350681
thats fucking shit teir.

>second grade get failing grades in handwritting for using cursive.
>spend year learning block script.
>third grade get failing grades in handwritting for not using cursive.

>1st grade
>I play with the blonde girls hair everyday during storytime
>a DIFFERENT girl tells me she is going to tell me a secret
>I say okay
>she kisses me
>THATS RIGHT FIRST FUCKING GRADE
>my family moves shortly after that
>I haven't had any relations with women whatsoever since then
>I am 22 now

>foreveralone.jpg

>do chem project in 10th grade
>me and female friend partnered up as well as two people who don't do shit
>we tried to meet up about 3 times to work on the project, they didn't show, we did work just so time wasn't wasted
>we asked them to research, they didn't
>we finished entire project
>bitched to teacher about it, she gives us a lower grade because the other two kids said we did all the work without giving them any opportunities to contribute
>we rage in front of the class, trying not to slap the shit out of these retarded motherfuckers
>we explain to the teacher what happened and ask her if she wants to see the e-mails sent showing how we told them where and when we were meeting up
>she says okay, gives us a 100, puts them in their own group
>mfw they get a 0

I'm sorry, but you don't understand, although it has a happy ending that moment where the teacher actually considered failing us because we didn't give the other two students any opportunities to do work... oh my god the rage.

>6th grade
>students go in front of class to present their science projects
>fat retarded kid gos up with dinosaur project (he fucking loved dinosaurs)
>he gets hypothesis and conclusion mixed up and procedure and materials mixed up.
>i laugh for a good minute
>teacher gives me detention and class thinks im a dick
> mfw the fat kid gos to the school contest on pity.

>8th grade english
>everyone thinks teacher is a bitch
> she has an evil witch laugh that i love
>she barely gives us work yet everyone complain about "all" the work we have to do
> get to class early one day, only one there
>sit at desk and look at teacher
>she ask me if i did my homework
>"yea, i bet im the only one too cuz everyone else are whiny pricks"
> she laughs her evil laugh that i oh so love
> no one else did the "difficult" writing assignment
> teacher gives me a look at the end of class

>10th grade chemistry
> only a sophomore in a junior class
> chill ass teacher
> teacher asks " whats a cation?"
> class is quiet
> this is the point i realize im in the retarded chemistry class or some shit.
> raise my hand
> " a positively charged ion"
> class looks at me like im fucking jesus walking on water speaking Vietnamese
> hear kid behind me whisper " what a neerrrrd"
>mfw

>spend half my junior and senior year in cooking school.
>take remedial physics as is only class that fits my requirements and schedule
>second week, get asked by teacher not to participate in discussions, as I make the other students feel stupid.
> in exchange don't have to do any homework.

Easiest A of my life, but I don't think I learned any physics.

>Intro to Literature, college sophomore
>write flowing essay examining themes of the works of Flannery O'Connor
>D
>grumble grumble
>forced to sit through class readings of Hamlet
>Brimming with hate, write analysis of Hamlet's friends in the play
>A
>After conference with teacher, realize that I write better when I hate something
>mfw I have tapped into god-mode essay writing

>>2350783
> teacher gives me a look at the end of class
She wants to fuck

>high school geometry, class regular, had to retake due to an "inconsistent credit from another state"
>teacher a middle-aged russian woman with heavy accent
>nice but has lots of assignments
>all of the kids make fun of her and harass her behind her back
>realize she's a fucking genius
>she knows fucking everything
>smartest person I've ever met in my entire life (not even kidding)
>she had read Dostoevsky, Tolstoy, Wittgenstein, knows a ton about philosophy
>amazing at mathematics, knows the most advanced maths
>degree in Physics
>is constantly harassed
>dumbass manchild kid yells at her "WE CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOU" and mumbles an insult under his breath
>teacher pauses for a second, looks helpless
>ends up having to call security after things get rough and kids don't listen
>delivers quiz the next day
>girl starts crying because of its difficulty
>i finish with no problem, a few others did as well
>kids mumble "horrible teacher" on their way out of the room
>look back at her, holding her head in hands at her desks
>parents call and start yelling at her when it was clearly her students' fault
>so many parents of dumbass kids complain and she nearly gets fired
>goes to board but doesn't pass
>kids complain about it in front of her in class
>she breaks down
>i stand up and turn around, telling the kids to shut the fuck up and to quit being such morons
>get called a teacher's pet
>dumbass kids laughing at me

>next day, she starts teaching, tries to be very calm
>kids don't understand what a sine is
>kids say "HOW IS THIS GONNA HELP ME LIVE LIFE"
>same kid "you're an idiot."
>she goes back to her desk and starts crying
>mfw

>>2350844
>i stand up and turn around, telling the kids to shut the fuck up and to quit being such morons

yeahexceptthatneverhappened.jpg

also:
>wall of greentext

>8th grade
>teacher tries to get in good with other kids by making fun of me like they do
>makes fun of my clothes, hair etc
>I start drawing uncomplimentary cartoons of him on his blackboard when there's no one else in the classroom
>he takes me aside in the library and says he's thinking about getting one of his home room class boys to beat me up
...
>9th grade
>art class
>out of the blue teacher says "this is punch <anon> week. anyone can give <anon> a punch this week and it's OK by me"
result lifelong hatred for asshole male boomers

>>2350859
you must just exude extreme faggotry and weakness for that to even happen.

>freshman-junior years of high school
>every science class i was in
>every history class i was in
>my school was known for football, not for being smart
>mfw i did every single project myself
>mfw the teacher asks a question and i wait a few seconds for someone else to maybe have a revelation and answer correctly
>it never happens and i ended up answering nearly every question ever and end up letting everyone copy off of me because i dont give a fuck

>>2349505
OR A FUCKING MIRROR, OR ANY REFLECTIVE SURFACE.

>>2350859
You do realize that's the point where you go to school administration and make a complaint, right? Or at the very least you start fucking with the guy's life (important files go missing, gay porn magazines start coming to his house along with sample packs of adult diapers, windows get broken, etc).

>>2344090
I imagine that OP became a supervillain known as "The Jellyfish"

>grades 9 through 11 never do homework and finish up projects and shit just before classes start
>85% average all the time
>finally hit grade 12
>60% first semester, 40% second semester

Why do they make school easy as fucking shit, then all of a sudden YOU HAVE TO DO HOMEWORK NOW

>join armed forces
>i get payed to shoot brown people

>>2345933

haha similar thing happened to me this semester.

>A in pre-calc, even skipped an exam because lowest grade gets dropped
>high C in chem I
>45 minute presentation and 25 page paper due last week of semester on enzyme functioning in protein synthesis (so i can get honors credit)
>decide to focus on presentation. nervous as balls, i'm the only freshmen in class because its a night class
>screw pre-calc, ill get an A
>all free time goes towards prepping for chem project + normal final exam
>do amazing in chem, free talked whole powerpoint presentation
>fuckyea.jpg
>pre calc final is 12 questions and 40% of my overall grade
>extremely sleep deprived from bio exam earlier and finishing my last 10 page english essay
>bomb pre calc final
>B in chem, half the class failed
>C in precalc
>mfw

>be britfag
>year 10 chemistry, teacher hates me
>friend copies my homework and gets a much higher mark
>stop doing homework
>get a A without trying

>3rd grade
>Spelling Bee
>the guy giving words has a crazy heavy accent
>"spell 'par...t'"
>"could you use it in a sentence please?"
>"I love my par...t"
>have no idea what he's trying to say. parent or parrot, so I guess 'parrot'
>"that is incorrect."
>other girl comes up and spells 'parent'
>"correct, we have our winner!"
>applause, hugs, congratulations all over her
>my parents couldn't come and I had no friends
>mfw

>>2350820
>>2350820
>donesn't like hamlet
>thinks he knows anything about literature
oh boy

>grade 10 programming class
>we doin java
>don't learn shit because I'm too busy with video games and internet
>do no work, teacher asks me for any assignments at end of semester
>tell someone I'll buy them a case of coke if they give me all their programs they wrote up
>motherfucking deal
>submit like 8/11 and change some shit around to make it look like its not a copy
>get 51%

But shit dawg I played CS 1.6 everyday with other kids in the library

>3rd grade spelling bee
> won class spelling bee so went to school spelling bee
>only 12 kids
> im the second one to go
> first kid has to spell rodeo
> spells it wrong and runs off stage crying
> i have to hold it laughing but lmao
> this is going to be a cakewalk
> go up
> word is mermaid
> still laughing inside
> m-e-r-m-a-d
> incorrect
> have a stupid look on my face
> start laughing and walk off stage
if that retard didnt fuck up i could have won that blue ribbon.

>>2350865
Probably I did. On the other hand, I was 12 years old in a class of 13-year-olds, and making fun of and threatening your students is never cool.
>>2350884
My mother called the school. I never got an apology from the guy, the closest to that was that a few weeks later when some other kid asked "is it still punch <anon> week?" he said "no, this is love everybody week".
Dunno what happened to the asshole. He may still be teaching for all I know.

>Have tons of anger issues from grades 1-7
>Have an ex-hockey player as teacher
>Scared as fuck to rage at him like I did every other teacher
>He rages at me multiple times
>Tells me I'd fail U Classes in Highschool
>Go to Highschool
>Due to that teaching telling me I'd fail, try my ass off and average a 93% first year in all U classes, and due to him raging at me, I'm now the quietest kid in all my classes
>mfw

>7th grade science
>studying rocks samples for geology
>grouped with socially inept fat kid no-one likes
>comments how the block of salt tastes salty
>starts licking salt block
>tell him to stop because we each have to use our hands to examine the rocks
>doesn't stop licking salt block
>teacher tells him to stop
>doesn't stop
>dude wtf

> Last year of high school
> Taking Honors Physics
> Teacher was going to be nurse, got teaching degree instead
> Has no credibility to teach any chemistry or physics classes
> Class time consists of us doing complicated time wasting experiments
> Homework is a worksheet
> We never get taught the theory behind anything we're learning
> Any questions are answered with "look it up in the book"
> Teaches us that friction has mass

Fuck you Karen Benoit.

>10th grade
>Competition among various hours to see who can get the most "points"
>One task involves throwing a ball across the room into a recycling bin
>Teacher stresses that if anyone gets in the way of the ball, there will be no rethrows and the balls is dead once it hits the ground
>Everyone else in the classroom gets together to decide who's gonna throw the ball
>I ignore them and ask the teacher what would happen if the ball were to "bounce" off a student into the recycling bin
>She says it would count

So then I came up with the idea of just having someone stand by the recycling bin to catch the ball and drop it in. The teacher, though not happy about it, said that we could do it.

>Get everyone's attention
>Tell them about my idea
>They tell me it's dumb and wouldn't work
>Finally convince them
>Two dumbasses get chosen by our class to throw and catch the ball
>Everyone cheers when we win 10/10 shots, beating every other class in the competition
>Two dumbasses get all the credit
>I get completely ignored.
Yep.

>>2350971
Was this kid a deer or small rodent by any chance?

>11th grade, AP Government
>Each class period has points based on class participation, grades, and participation in discussions on a forum outside of the class
>Our class is heavily in the fucking lead due to the work of myself and 8-9 other people.
>Get these people together, discuss coming up with some "separatist movement" so our "class" would just consist of us, since the rest of our class are fucking idiots and don't do ass.
>Some of the people I'm talking to take the idea way out of proportion, toss me out of it, and be obnoxious with their bullshit that essentially drains the class of points, so nobody wins.
>Tell them this wasn't the fucking intention, they'r being retarded.
>At the end of the year, they lose by a margin of 10 points

not science

1

Colleage - year 11
Attend sport science centre,
Queen bee long distance running jocket produces 700 watts on a stationary bike, the guy showing us round informs the class of the number (700w), myself being a sci guy automatically (and too loudly) responds with, "oh, that's almost a horsepower', everyone is laughing hard, as they all thought I was calling her a horse or something, dumb asses, needless to say she made sure all jocks hated me.

Physics students do not make jokes about the top jock chick.

2
University year 2
Discussion on chemical flares is taking place, under un/imo law a rocket flare should be visible for 40km at night - 20km at day... some guy asks why you can see it form further away at night time, 30 heads slowly turn to glare!

4
Grade one.
Teacher places items in a bucket, spins it around, items stay in bucket, she informs us thats why we stay on the earth, I say no, Not sure what else happened, i couldnt explain gravity in grade 1.

5
Put key loggers on school pc's, 20 days of after school detention!

>>2350322
You know how I know you've been on 4chan for less than a week? You're a complete and total fucking retard. That's how.

>In 11th grade science
>Learning last course of science; astronomy
>Teacher talks about the names of the moons orbiting other planets (Mimas and Rhea for Saturn etc)
>Friend of mine raises his hand and asks, "does our moon also have a name?"
>Teacher looks at him and says, "yes, it's called the mooooooooon"
>mfw

>>2351007
The original story made me laugh, this made me laugh harder. I love you anon.

>>2351044
>implying being on 4chan for more time makes one less retarded instead of more

>>2351134

well thats a stupid name we really need to rename it.

>>2344485
F.....T.....W.....
YOUR TEACH IS AWESOME!!!!

>Kindergarten
>Whore of a teacher wouldn't let me move straight to 1st Grade, even though my reading comprehension equaled that of a fifth grader's.
>I tell her I'm sick
>She doesn't believe me
>I throw up all over her desk and all over her.

mfw she gaped at me afterwards.

>>2351199
Samefag here.

>6th Grade
>Have to write an essay on Peru
>Must work with closet fag
>He doesn't do his part
>We get a 60% when teacher finds out

>11th grade
>In Government
>Have to do project with computer nerd
>I do research, and I ask him to do the PowerpPoint
>He doesn't have the PowerPoint come the day of the presentation
>I lie and say that my computer had a virus and deleted the slide show
>Our grade is saved, thanks to me

mfw both fuck-ups fucked up

>>2351199
>>2351212
Samefag, again.

>10th grade
>World History
>Everyone is getting shitty marks on their homework and exams
>Except for me and another girl
>Hard exam comes up - no notes and no open book
>I quote an entire passage from the book that no one read - I use MLA citation
>Teacher reads my essay out loud, and says I got an A

>11th grade
>AP English
>Catholic school
>Teacher tells us to write a story
>Has to be similar to biblical anecdote, but modern
>I write one about a con artist who falls in love with target
>Like Samson and Delilah
>Everyone else writes complete shit which is just like the bible stories, only with modern language

mfw the teacher and all of the students say I should become a writer, and I get an A

>sign up for robotics class in middle school
>i am so fucking down to learn how to build robots and shit
>6 weeks of drawing 3D boxes

No that's it. Just...draw a square. Draw lines extending from all corners at 32 degree angle. Connect lines. BAM. 3D box. 4 times a week, every week, for six weeks.

Fucking bullshit. Teacher was a fat fuck who obviously didn't give a rats ass. Such a waste of time.

I can draw 3D boxes like a pro now though.

>go to nurse to get a flu vaccine
>ask tech if the shot will be in the deltoid like usual
>he says "nope, right here" and proceeds to pat his deltoid
>mfw

>>2344650
>>2344650
>New school for 10th grade.
>Sign up for AutoCAD class.
>First assignment: handwriting. Like the kind of shit you do in kindergarten when you are first learning the alphabet.
>That is the assignment for the entire week.
>Look at syllabus and realize that we aren't going to even touch a computer for at least four weeks.
I think I was in that class. Orange?
>written like 5 hours ago
well shit.

>>2351402

Wait, what does that have to do with robotics? Was that literally what the class was called, and was that literally all you did? Can they even do that?

>AP Literture
>Questions on test number soliloquies in Hamlet chronologically
>I get questions wrong because I didn't count something as a soliloquy
>More than one character was in the scene, this contradicts the definition we were given
>Teacher disagrees with me, points in a book where is called a soliloquy, thinking she proved me wrong
>Show her definition proving that it must be only one character on stage
>She ignores me and continues lesson

Also

>We are told not to read ahead in a book
>Tested on what we think an event might foreshadow
>If we are wrong, we lose points
If you're not a fortune teller or especially familiar with Victorian romance story structures, in which case you should kill yourself anyway, you're fucked.

>12th grade High School: AP Calculus
>catholic school
>Teacher is a sister and very anal about tardiness of homework
>Specifically said to complete 20 curve sketching problems over
easter break, and MUST be handed in on the day we get back
>fucking 20 curve sketching problems take 20 pages to do working out all the steps as required
>its the day we get back, and everyone hands in their shit, cause they dont want trouble
>the day after, the only kid that was sick the day before in our class with asbergers comes in and attempts to hand in paper
>the same thought passes by everyones head at the same time: "oh god no"
>The sister simply says, "No."
>The poor kid stands there for a good minute, and then completely breaks down and starts wailing
>silence
>5 minutes of wailing
>silence
>10 minutes of wailing
>silence
>finally 15 minutes of wailing and the guidance counselor comes in and escorts him out
>once he leaves, teacher says, "Never had that happen to me before."
>we all laugh awkwardly
>we all think the same thing, "we are horrible people"
>scarred for life

>>2344973

kyle? go to bed

>>2351535

Why couldn't he hand it in? If he was at home sick, doesn't that give him a pretty good excuse to hand his assignment in a day late, considering he wasn't even there? Jeez laweez.

>>2344340
I LOL-ED Thanks.

>>2351555

I have no idea to this day if she was just trying to make an example out of him in order to prepare us for college, or if she just was a bitch.

>>2351561

Over here, in college, if you're sick and unable to hand in your assignment, they'll forgive you for that. What do they expect? For you to get to school and give everyone tuberculosis or whatever the hell nasty bacterial infection you've got? There is no organisation on the world that would prefer one employee or student or whatever to come in carrying the risk of disabling the entire staff over staying home and doing something that can wait anyways just a little later.

Goddamn nuns.

>>2345176
lol-ed hard.