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/sci/ - Science & Math

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2153613 No.2153613 [Reply] [Original]

Let's get some jokes going here


pic unrelated

>> No.2153621
File: 22 KB, 450x401, mobius.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
2153621

Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip?

To get to the
...damnit

>> No.2153633

What did a female physicist say in conference afterparty?

Does my boson give you a hadron?

>> No.2153642

Time for an original one

What is the square root of a Muslim terrorist?
A radical

>> No.2153640

>>2153633
>physicist
>female
Something's amiss here...

>> No.2153643

Teach a man topology and he'll be smart for a day

Give a man a cup of coffee and a doughnut and he'll be confused for a lifetime

>> No.2153651
File: 107 KB, 815x275, banach_tarski.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
2153651

>>2153642
>hurf im using words that sound like they are related to mathematics

Dude, that wasn't original at all. And certainly not math related. Pic related, THAT's a math joke.

>> No.2153658

>>2153640
I know some female physicists... two of them.

And get this, one of them is actually hot as hell.

>> No.2153659

Why is 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 slaughtered his entire family under the influence of PCP.

>> No.2153664

>>2153651
If you're going to denote someone's attempt at a math joke with a math joke, at least use one that's actually good and doesn't children's toys.

>> No.2153666

Why did the chicken cross the road?

17.

>> No.2153669

>>2153658
You are a dirty liar, and a probably a fat chick too.

>> No.2153674
File: 26 KB, 360x1399, e^ip_wtf.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
2153674

>> No.2153677

Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar and doesn't.

>> No.2153684
File: 154 KB, 1090x743, cum_100_suns.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
2153684

>> No.2153680

>>2153651

What relevance does Tesla have to that joke?

>> No.2153685

>>2153664
wat? The joke is the conversation you fucking 10 year old fuckface. It's completely unrelated to the lego figures.

>> No.2153691

>>2153664
But was my islam joke funny?

>> No.2153694

>>2153685
It's still uses legos and thus in poor taste and fiber.

>> No.2153698

>>2153680
I dunno. Is Tesla the one in the background? Perhaps the lego figures jerk off to him when nobody's watching their conversations.

>> No.2153700
File: 62 KB, 1232x230, Three Kingdoms.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
2153700

>> No.2153702

>>2153651
But the Pythagoras theorema isn't funny nor was that joke.

What is the first derivative of a cow?
Prime Rib!

Is this better?

>> No.2153704

>>2153685
A conversation is not a joke.

>> No.2153705

A neutrino walk's through a bar

>> No.2153710

I worry about you, /sci/. Math jokes are usually the first sine of madness.

>> No.2153719
File: 109 KB, 320x240, 10points.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
2153719

>>2153710

>> No.2153717

>>2153651
why is the leather jacket guy using two doors as a shield? why is that guy's hair an absurd shade of blue? why is tesla in the background? what is this shit?

>> No.2153722

Alfred: What's the inverse of cosine?

Badger: Just a sec.

>> No.2153723
File: 39 KB, 404x361, 1273881130420.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
2153723

>>2153694
Work on your grammar before you bitch about "poor taste", fucking peasant.

Also, deal with it, your radical joke wasn't funny at all and certainly not math-related.

The fact that you're artificially focusing your attention to the surroundings (oh no, it's lego-figures talking, that can't be a "real" math joke!) indicates intense levels of butthurt on your side.

>> No.2153728

This is the worst joke thread I've ever had the misfortune of laying eyes on.

PS: I actually liked >>2153642 's joke

>> No.2153732

>>2153723
you sound much more butthurt

u mad I told an original funny joke and you paste an unfunny image

>> No.2153733
File: 70 KB, 1024x576, umadtho.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
2153733

>>2153723
U FURIOUS?

>> No.2153736

>>2153723
Now you have to rely on accusing people of peasantry and plebeianism to push an "argument." Now that's just intellectually lacking.

>> No.2153739

>>2153698

PROTIP: Don't post jokes about things you don't understand.

>> No.2153744

>>2153717
>>2153704
>>2153702
>>2153694
>>2153691
>>2153664
>>2153642

Sad display of samefagging.

>> No.2153751

Einstein, newton and pascal are playing hide and seek. Einstein finishes counting to see that pascal is nowhere to be seen, and that newton is sitting on the floor in a chalk square 1m in diameter. Einstein says "Newton your terrible at this, i found you straight away." Newton replied "No you didnt, you just found pascal!"

>> No.2153759

>>2153754
Oopsy-doopsy, effect*

>> No.2153754

>>2153744
Sad display of the anchoring affect and bias blind spot.

Take what this guy said >>2153739

>> No.2153768

>joke thread becomes butthurt thread

Shut the fuck up.

>> No.2153781
File: 53 KB, 1280x800, math joke.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
2153781

this ones eh

>> No.2153783

>>2153751
>square
>diameter

>> No.2153784

I've got the best math joke ever:

There's a math/science board on 4chan.

>> No.2153789

>>2153739
>PROTIP: Don't post jokes about things you don't understand.
I don't even know who Tesla was, nor do I care. I'm a math major and I do understand the banach-tarski paradox.
Again, your artificial focus on the setting is really showing how butthurt you are. It's completely beside the point.

I imagine you're doing hurtful things with your keyboard right now!

PROTIP: you don't need capslock to "protip".

>> No.2153794

Why did the mathimatician have to go to the beach

Cos its about sin he got a tan

>> No.2153813

>>2153789
Now you're just using a nirvana fallacy and selective perception as an ad hominem to those who differ in views from you. Rather pathetic, and invalidates your math major claim (unless just starting a few months ago).

>> No.2153814

>>2153789
>your artificial focus on the setting is really showing how butthurt you are.

>> No.2153824

>>2153789
>math major
>doesn't know who Tesla is
Automatic disqualification.

>> No.2153850
File: 4 KB, 99x126, ash ketchum.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
2153850

What's purple and commutes?

And Abelian Grape.

>> No.2153870

>>2153813
now you're just talking bullshit (like all thread, actually).

>>2153814
Yes, I did say that, didn't I? Ah, good times!

>>2153824
0/10

>> No.2153869

Cop pulls over Heisenburg

"Do you have any idea how fast you were going?"

"No, but I knew EXACTLY where I was."

>> No.2153920

>>2153870
Except you only have to assert the "bullshit" notion to pattern with your BBS and CSB in this thread. And have to resort to menial attempts at sarcasm and weasle words to bulwark an attempt at a conjunction fallacy, instead of an actual argument, in which you evidently cannot intellectually handle. Self pseudo-auspex apparently.

>> No.2154009 [DELETED] 

>>2154010
and orders a drink

>> No.2154023

If you don't know Tesla, YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT.

/thread

>> No.2154044

so nietzsche walks into a bar.

>> No.2154072

To get to the other side.

>> No.2154079

Why did the tachyon cross the road?

>> No.2154087

>>2154044
>so nietzsche walks into a bar.
and artificially selects some survival of the fittest kool-aid

>> No.2154096

OC:
What kind of dump does a mathematician take?

A natural log.

>> No.2154106

>>2154079
>>2154072

I GIGGLED

>> No.2154143
File: 10 KB, 293x152, tachyon.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
2154143

>> No.2154151

>>2153651
What's the best anagram of "banach tarski"


banach tarski banach tarski

>> No.2154225

>>2153920
your pathetic post might be slightly less pathetic if at least it was stated in proper English..

>> No.2154306

>>2153677
>>2153677
lol'd fucking hard

>> No.2154335

>>2153700
and saved

>> No.2154353

>>2154225
>Can't understand the words someone is using
>Say that they aren't using proper English

Good job, faggot.

>> No.2154357

>>2154072
>>2154072
>>2154079
>>2154079

fucking win

>> No.2154384

>>2153700

slowfag here

someone explain this joke

>> No.2154391

OP here

i'm disappointed /sci/
this thread was supposed to be in good fun
humor is relative

>> No.2154398

>>2154384
Last line. Joke on the Pythagorean theorem.

>> No.2154404

Here you go, /sci/

http://wimp.com/sciencejokes/

>> No.2154405

>>2154151
this is one of my recent favorites.

>> No.2154407

>>2154384
Pythagorean theorem: The square of the hypotenuse is equal to the some of the squares of the other two sides.

Sound familiar?

>> No.2154414

>>2154353
Actually I was referring to your erroneous grammar:
>instead of an actual argument, in which you evidently cannot intellectually handle

And your inflationary use of irrelevant vocabulary in an attempt to look sophisticated is not only extremely transparent but also, as I hinted earlier, quite pathetic.

>> No.2154639

>>2153850
>What's purple and commutes?
>And Abelian Grape.

So what was the other thing you left out?

>> No.2154695
File: 250 KB, 680x353, itn-that-cute.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
2154695

>>2153722
BUT IT"S WRONG!

inverse cosine is arcsine

the reciprocal of cosine is just a sec.

>> No.2154717

Two protons walk into a bar. The first Proton says to the second proton, "Are you sure this is where you lost your electron? The second proton says, "Yeah, I'm positive!"

>> No.2154721

>>2154695
>the reciprocal of cosine is just a sec.
Well, whenever you feel like completing your thought.

>> No.2154724

>>2154717
I don't get this one.

>> No.2154735

>>2154407
I don't get this one either. Mind explaining?

>> No.2154763
File: 10 KB, 420x420, be-rational-get-real.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
2154763

my favorite.

>> No.2154768

Gravity plans on voting for Sarah Palin in 2012 because he's conservative.

>> No.2154874

>>2154768
so I guess the electrostatic force will as well..... bummer.

>> No.2154950

>>2154724
>>2154735

Get out.

>> No.2154984

>>2154695
Awwwkward.

>> No.2155015

>>2153754
Less wrong?

>> No.2155023
File: 48 KB, 1000x1260, dexter.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
2155023

A physics professor and his assistant are working on liberating negatively-charged hydroxyl ions, when all of a sudden, the assistant says, "Wait, professor, what if the salicylic acids do not accept the hydroxyl ions?" And the professor responds, "That's no hydroxyl ion; that's my wife!"

>> No.2155041

What's the volume of a pizza of radius z and thickness a?

>> No.2155060
File: 113 KB, 576x432, 1288586884199.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
2155060

>>2155041
Aw shit.

>> No.2155062

>>2155041
hey hey hey, we got a wise guy....

>> No.2155069
File: 21 KB, 336x269, 1291266502817.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
2155069

>>2155041
Oh hell.

>> No.2155442

>>2155041
esumone pleez esplain

>> No.2155458

>>2155041
fukken lol'd

>> No.2155513

A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender:
"How much for a drink"
The bartender replies:
"For you, no charge"

HA!

>> No.2155530

>>2153850
What's yellow and equivalent to the Axiom of Choice?


Zorns Lemon

>> No.2155544

>>2155442

The volume of the pizza was pi*z*z*a

>> No.2157095

bump

>> No.2157509

>>2153768
Ha

>> No.2157887

an infinite number of math professors walk into a bar. The first order a single shot. The second says: "I'll have half what he's having." This continues on for a while until the bartender sighs and pours two shots.

Because when drinking, you have to know your limits.