/sci/ - Science & Math

i'll start: what do you call a bus ride without seats? a flouride!

don't forget to decorate your chemis-tree with elements this christmas!

>Stare at OP's image.
>three seconds go by
>OH I GET IT

i need puns :(

>>2057250
i lol'd

check out my dubnium

come on /sci/ i know you have bad puns. you all had weird science teachers and profs before

Neutron's walks into a bar and orders a drink, and the bartenders say I fucked your mother.

this is getting to be quite punny

Heisenberg may or may not have posted this reply. Schrodinger is uncertain how to reply, Millikan is in a slippery situation right now, Bernoulli is dripping wet, and Euler has too much to say.

amidoinitrite?

why no more puns?

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar.

Profits record.

Nothing can suck, only a vacuum can create suction. Then Hoover makes vacuum cleaners. So sucks is Hoover.

I have discovered a truly marvelous pun, but this margin is too small to contain.

ok i have joke

Einstein, Newtin and Kneels Bore are at a bar, bartender says to einstein what do you want. he says coke and rum. he get it. bartender says to newtin what you want. newtin says apple martini. he gets it. then he go to Bore and says what u want. Bore says, you are aware you didnt give my friends what they ordered, correct? and bartender looks over and theyre drinks are switched. because bore was wrong about electrons and they are actually in clouds and can move around randomly so the drinks are the electrons in this case.

Friend of mine showed me this in undergrad. I'll never forget it.

>>2057287
lol, very nice

>>2057292
lol! that took me a second

>>2057287

Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar and doesn't.

>>2057287
what
the fuck?

The ultimate math pun: <span class="math">\displaystyle\int \displaystyle\frac{1}{cabin} dcabin =[/spoiler] Houseboat.

Outside his buckyball home, one molecule overheard another molecule saying, "I'm positive that a free electron once stripped me of an electron after he lepton me. You gotta keep your ion them."

Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
A: They're cheaper than day rates.

and my personal favorite:
Q: Why do chemists call helium, curium and barium the medical elements?
A: Because if you can't helium or curium, you barium!

A physics professor and his assistant are working on liberating negatively-charged hydroxyl ions, when all of a sudden, the assistant says, "Wait, professor, what if the salicylic acids do not accept the hydroxyl ions?" And the professor responds, "That's no hydroxyl ion; that's my wife!"

>>2057319
lol! also, just have to brag here: i met sir harry kroto today

>>2057321
beat me to it you bastard

i will kill you all like a cat in a box... maybe

A fellow accidentally ingested some alpha-L-glucose and discovered that he had no ill effects. Apparently he was ambidextrose.

Did you hear about the biologist who had twins? She baptized one and
kept the other as a control.

Two atoms are walking down the sidewalk when they accidently bump into eachother.
"I'm really sorry!" the first atom exclaims."Are you all right?"
" Actually, no," the second atom replies."I lost an electron."
"Oh, no! Are you sure?"
"I'm positive!"

>>2057357

Priceless.

>>2057321

i didnt get it when i was 10 years old and i still dont get it today.

>>2057357
:D must tell everyone i know (they'll all hate me, but i dont care)

Q: How do you eat DNA-spaghetti?
A: With a replication fork.

>>2057370
>Using ":D"
I'm pretty sure they all do already

Your mother is so stupid she can't spell pH.

Q: What did the male stamen say to the female pistil?
A: I like your "style"

>>2057378
someone is grumpy. i think you need more puns!

>>2057359
Oh god, I love it!

A mushroom walks into a bar and the bartender says," sorry we don't serve
mushrooms here." And the mushroom replies, " Why? I'm a Fun-gi?

4
\
C - C 4
/ \ /
C C
\ /
C - C

what did one thermophile say to the other? i think you're really hot

My name is Bond, Ionic Bond;
Taken, not shared!

Q: What is the name of the molecule bunny-O-bunny?

>>2057405
i dunno. what?

>>2057407
Ether Bunny

ITT: jokes not puns
you guys are fucking retarded.

>>2057411
both bitch!

>>2057411
you don't know the definition of a pun, do you?

All I have is this image. Enjoy

>>2057430
why would you even ask that question?

protip to aspies: you need social skills to have wit and churn them out on the fly.

churchill was no aspie

Here, have some XKCD.

WTF? there are only about 3 puns in this thread

>>2057726
Puns suck in any board that doesn't have spoiler text, you need it to deliver the punch-line correctly.
Try /a/, /co/ and /v/ for maximum efficiency.