/sci/ - Science & Math

That goddamn dolphin probably gets more pussy in a weekend than I've had in my entire life

MOTHERFUCKER

If sharks are psychopaths than dolphins are sociopaths.

Must....not.....become....attracted to dolphins....

I TOLD YOU GAY MARRIAGE WOULD LEAD TO THIS. I TOLD YOU BUT YOU LIBERAL FUCKS THREW AROUND MADE UP SHIT LIKE HOMOPHOBIA TO TRY AND MAKE ME LOOK LIKE A BIGOT BUT NOW IT'S 2010 AND PEOPLE ARE FUCKING DOLPHINS WHAT DID I FUCKING TELL YOU

>>mfw I opened the third video and the music started to play

Dolphin rape- because flippers suck for masturbation.

There are really people who are into dolphins? How did I miss this?

In b4 someone posts that old-ass dolphin sex guide from like 1994.

"Hey uh, I read on 4chan that you might want to have sex with me."

"Get the fuck away from me you pervert".

[foreveralone.jpg]

How is this even remotely science related

>>1942080

Come one, /sci/...don't make me google that one.

>>1942109
>How is this even remotely science related

Why the fuck do you come to 4chan?
Joyless assburger fags.

Bedbugs.

The female has no vagina, so the male must pierce the carapace and inject sperm with a sharp, impaling member.


Kangaroos.

Male has two penises. Not to be outdone, females have three vaginas, and two wombs.


Ducks.

Rape ALL THE TIME. Monogamous, maybe to protect the females from packs of roaming rapists.


Cats.

Male has backward facing spikes on his penis. Females don't even ovulate until they have been traumatised in the fashion you can imagine. Imagine this. They want sex so much they allow the male to begin, then they must immediately regret it once the spikes start to serrate the vagina.

This thread is relevant to my interests.

>>1942160

Spiders:

Evolutionary arms race. Lady spiders have a multiple shafted segmented vagina which prevents impregnation to all but the most determined spider male, To compensate the spider penis is like a lock pick with curves and twists to penetrate multiple vaginal sacks.

>>1942160
Had no idea about the cats and kangaroos. Wow. Are you making this shit up?

Also, don't forget bees; the male bee's penis breaks off, and he dies a horrible death.

And of course there's the male praying mantis, who has his head eaten.

>>1942172
Oh god win.

>>1942172
Wouldn't it be advantageous for a lot of spiders to reproduce?

> trollface.jpg

Problem, natural selection?

FUCKA ME DORPHEEN!

FUCKA MA WHARE!

>>1942177

Yep.

For kangaroos, it appears to serve several functions. Two wombs mean that in the boom/bust ecology of the outback, populations replenish much faster, a single female can have four young in the pipeline, two in wombs, one in pouch and one out of pouch. The spare vagina could be in order to prevent impregnation by undesirable mates, by funneling rapists into that one. The males have a bifurcated penis, apparently so they definitely hit at least one real vagina when they fuck.

As for cats, I don't know, it's just fucked.

/sci/ is sexually tsundere for dolphins, because they are the smarters nonhuman animal

>>1942172

Moths too, apparently.


Humans.

Have almost comically large penises and overdeveloped secondary sexual features. And get this, our penis has no bones, unlike almost all of our fellow mammals. Feel good about yourself, you are more well hung than any gorilla ever born.

>>1942184

Spider girls are ice cold man. They don't even give a shit about nature or their species they so ice cold.

God damnit dolphins stop having a human fetish that shit is weird.

Bro-fist for our dolphin bro's.

>>1942211

It gets weirder. Some other research I read indicated that dolphins treat humans much like infantile members of their own species, unable to correctly swim up for air yet, at least from observations of how they try to help drowning humans just as they help their young.

So dolphin bestiality pedophile rapists.

>>1942198
Other mammals actually have BONES in their penis? Whoa, I didn't know that.

>>1942160

>Bedbugs.

>The female has no vagina, so the male must pierce the carapace and inject sperm with a sharp, impaling member.

They can do it because bedbug penis is sharp like a knife and huge.

And every hole made in her carapace "heals" into a vagina, ready for future use.

Scaled to a human size, bedbug's ejaculations would be about 30 liters/8 gallons. They do it many times.

Only about 50% of bedbug sex is heterosexual. 45% is homosexual: the male penetrates other males, and the sperm goes and mixes with the receiver's, so that he also ejaculates some of the other's when he gets a female.

The remaining 5% are with other species. Bedbug sex is actually a very wild orgy where everyone jumps around raping everything they can grab. Earthworms, ants, or anything that happens to be in the mating site ends up killed or horribly wounded by the penetration.

>>1942224

You have just generated a new fetish.

brb /d/

>>1942220

>>Bro-fist for our dolphin bro's.

Dolphins are the most broish of all animals. Proof: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hq7nHw1v6YY

>>1942224
Have I... been raped by bedbugs? O_O

>>1942222
Intelligent animals seem to have a sense of kinship with one another, e.g. elephants. There's a story of an elephant who broke the leg of this camel herder, then helped him to shade and guarded him. And they bury human corpses when they stumble upon them.

>>1942224

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Traumatic_insemination

>>1942263
You must be new here.....

>>1942256

Get back to me when elephants start raping.

>>1942244

Most brobably, bro.

That means your gay.

>>1942273

Wait, why?

btw, I'm >>1942263
AND
>>1942224

>>1942224
Get back to work, Pete

>>1942283
My mistake here tit's in apology.

Dolphins take like 1 second of penetration to reach orgasm. (See the final 3 seconds of OP's last video? That was it.) So don't worry about it.

bumping this shit

No penis, don't get hard.

No, cut that out.

God damnit

Fuck you, Darphin! Fuck you, Whare!