/sci/ - Science & Math

Whisky on the rocks.

Straight.

I'll take a mojito

Give me gin with tonic. Nothing fancy.

Something with lots of C2H5OH

2 Pints of lager
Mojito
Double vodka and coke

a dick in a box. shaken, not stirred.

>>1656535

Right away, I see you need something to take the edge off. Tough day at work?

>>1656540

Certainly sir. Would like that with some angostura?

>>1656547

Of course. Nothing fancy indeed.

>>1656533
A THREAD RELATED TO SCIENCE YOU WEEABOO FAGGOT.

double of the house bourbon, straight up, and point me towards the billiard tables.

I'll have a Bloody Shame.

>>1656535

Here you go. Will there be anything else?

>>1656560
pussy shit,
get me a glass of C3H7OH

It seems the less a thread has to do with science, the more responses it gets in science

>>1656540

As ordered. I hope this will ease the tension a little.

The cheapest vodka you have, lots of it.

Vodka.

Just vodka.

Caipirinha and Cubra libre plox.

>>1656594

fucking. fuck.

Does this count as hivemind? Because the only alcoholic beverage I drink is vodka.

>>1656547

Your gin with tonic sir.

>>1656560

That sounds a little drastic for such a young night, may I suggest something lighter, a Angel Face? Apple Brandy, Apricot Brandy and Gin.

>>1656563
Where are my <span class="math">god[/spoiler] <span class="math">damned[/spoiler] drinks?

Jack Rose, with hard rocks.

>>1656563

Lager is always a good start.

water man. a nice glass of room temperature tap water

>>1656533

You have three options.

1. You give me a blowjob
2. You get a squirrel ready for some loving.
3. Milk

nah this is closer to the law of doesnt even have to be a very large number because there are so few possibilities,and even fewer likely possibilities

>>1656572

Bourbon for you sir.

>>1656576

I believe you ordered Bloody Shame. I hope you will find this to your liking.

>>1656583

Another hard head. Maybe you will consider something slightly less aggressive, maybe a I can interest you in some great polish vodka?

>>1656593
>>1656594
one vodka with two straws for you two sirs

Black Death for starters, and make it goood.

>>1656593
>>1656594

I see you gentlemen know what you want. Two vodka shots for a good start.

>>1656595

Your Caipirinha, and I'll get on that Cubra libre right away.

>>1656702

Liquor before beer, never fear.

>>1656665
what's up with this joint?

>>1656618

As hard as I could find for such a kind guest.

>>1656717

Yeah, I haven't got my order yet.
>>1656640

>>1656624

A slow starting night I see. Are you perhaps waiting for someone?

>>1656726
Mind your business.

>>1656618

Only the best for our guests.

>>1656640
>>1656722

I understood that as a joke sir, may I get you anything that our establishment can actually provide?

>>1656712
>>1656601

I rarely drink vodka. Only if I need to get into the right mood, fast.

>>1656740

Guess I'll have to rape you.

JAEGERBOMBS FOR ME AND MY BROTHERS; GIUSEPPE, TONY, AND LUIGI.

>>1656726
Now that you mention it I guess I do, noone specific but the specs are: a beautiful kind young woman. That's right.

>>1656737

I see, looks like you WERE waiting for someone.

Can I maybe get you a watermelon mojito? It should help cheer you up.

I'll have a shot of peppermint liqueur and 4 drops of tabasco sauce. Feeling a bit cloggy tonight.

>>1656754

Ah, splendid then, shall I prepare something special for the said lady?

>>1656765

Ahh, a splendid choice. This should get you right back on the saddle.

>>1656750

Of course, would you like some snacks to go with that?

>>1656769
man I don't even know if she's gonna come,
I haven't even met her yet; but I'm optimistic

>>1656789

Chance waits for these that look for it.

Here is your watermelon mojito on the house so the wait won't be so tiring.

Wheat beer. A cold one.

Surprise me.

>>1656805

I hope this will suit your tastes. The best from Bavaria.

Vodka tonic.

OP seems to be the best bartender ever.

>>1656674
here, WHURS MAH DRUNK?

>>1656800
thanks man, I'll savor it

>>1656758

You know he's just going to get pissed off, start crying, and hit one of us, right?

>>1656737

And before you get any ideas, I'm from /k/.

>>1656812

I've taken the liberty of adding a lime to improve the taste. I hope you won't hold that against me.

>>1656814

Why thank you kind sir. Is there anything I can get you?

I would like some Jagermeister mixed with coca-cola! Thanks!

>>1656661

Thanks man. Keep the change.

>>1656829
I DON'T NEED NO GOD DAMN LIME TO IMPROVE THE TASTE! THAT'S FOR LITTLE GIRLS!

Take it back, actually. Make it a double.

>>1656818

I am terribly sorry sir. I must have given your drink to someone else in all this confusion. I apologise and I assure you that all your drinks today are on the house.

Here you go.

>>1656839

My mistake sir.

One Dead Baby Boy please...

>>1656842

why thank you

rum coke no fucking lime

>>1656831

A popular combination. Here you go.

I'll take a four loko, sir.

>>1656862
THERE'S A FUCKING LIME IN THIS!! WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT LIMES!!

>>1656856

As you wish sir. Rum with coke with a lime.

>>1656873

here, have some limes.

I want a Gigantic Erection. You know, lime juice, 151-proof rum, vodka, triple sec, mayonnaise, with a hollowed-out frozen banana to suck through.

>>1656873

I'm afraid that was not intended for you sir. I believe this is your order >>1656878.

>>1656866

A rare request. But I believe I can handle it.

You got some vodka, Kahlúa, and non-dairy creamer back there?

>>1656896
>>1656896
>>1656896
>>1656896

Where is my Dead Baby Boy? Service here is slow as fuck. Im gonna go smoke a cigarette and if I dont have my drink ready by the time I'm back, I'm going to the joint across the street...

A vodka-nosebleed, please.

>>1656901

Oh course we do.

>>1656889

I'm afraid we don't have any frozen bananas available at the moment, you will have to wait a moment for your order to arrive sir.

Ill take a rum and coke on the rocks OP

>>1656927
You make a hell of a white russian, jackie.

>>1656922

Sorry sir, I wasn't entirely sure about the proportions, you will have to give me some feedback on this one.

>>1656924

Here you go.

Scotch on the rocks mixed with a pint of lager

>>1656853

done with it. I want a cubra libre nao plox.

>>1656942

Just they way you like it sir.

>>1656927

Any idea how long it'll take? I want my Gigantic Erection.

Give me a sex on the beach, hold the beach.

>>1656959

Thank you, time to sip in the quiet corner while I contemplate the cosmos.

>>1656960

Maybe this will help you?

>>1656956

>>1656975

It did, thank you.

>>1656958

Naturally.

I'd like a sex on the beach, hold the sex ;) So I want....just....wait, I think I messed that up.

>>1656533

Im the delivery guy, bringing you more limes for your drink

>>1656960

Here you go, a Gigantic Erection, just as ordered.

>>1657002

There you go.

I said shaken not stirred you STUPID MOTHERFUCKER.

>>1657015

Did you mix that up just to take the picture? If so, you're awesome.

>>1656665

Oh ho, I lol'd.

What the fuck even is this?

Oh, and I want 2 bottles of 'I just got back from 'Kinetic Theory, Waves, & Plasma' and I need to die.' On the rocks.

And if you don't have that, Jagermeister is the same fucking thing, basically.

>>1657018

"Do I look like I care?"

>>1657022

Reichsfag here, its JÄGERMEISTER, with a captial Ä o/.

>>1657015
>>1657020

Oh, I opened the file and noticed it was shopped. Fooled me for a moment though.

Well, my vodka's dry and my personal stash is running low. Do you have anything stronger? As in MUCH stronger?

>>1657022

As you wish sir.

>>1657029

Too lazy to do alt shit, but I guess I could have googled it, So sorry to offend you, Fraulein.

I'll take an H<span class="math">_{2}[/spoiler]O.

>>1657034

I can always offer you a joint sir.

>>1657049

Your water.

I'll have a shot of cointreau.

>>1657049
>>1657065

Hey, I'll take an H<span class="math">_{2}[/spoiler]O, too!

>>1657070

A rare pick, had to dig for it for a moment.

/sci/ - make-belive bartending

>>1657072

A surprisingly common decision tonight. You should be advised that even intellectual discussion needs a few percent of... deviation to be truly enjoyed..

>>1657094

Holy shit, that's a large "shot" of cointreau (which is 80 proof btw), are you trying to get me drunk?

>>1657054

I'll have a double H2O on the rocks.

>>1657116

Why yes I am. Indeed I am. Everyone needs to let go from time to time.

>>1657116
contreau*

>>1657125

Alrighty then, why don't you just leave the bottle here and call me a cab to arrive in... let's say 3 hours.

>>1657117

Would you like sativa or do you prefer indica? And should I add a bit of mild tobacco for the taste?

>>1657120

Glad to be of service.

I would like a cup of Anti-Oxygen with 2 Anti-Hydrogen atome, plus several anti-mineral.

>>1657135

No, it's spelled cointreau you cuntbag.

>>1657144

I'm afraid we are fresh out of that. Can I get you something else?

/sci/entists are real drunks if you just let them be.

Two plums floating in a man's hat filled with perfume.

Quite depressed today.
I'll take whatever you may suggest.

I would love a special potion to relax my raging, negroid, soul.

Do you have anything like that?

A pan galactic gargle blaster, chop chop!

I want a B-52, followed by an Deutschland-Trikolore.

>>1657179

I though A Day at the Beach might cheer you up. It's Malibu, Amaretto with orange juice for a brighter taste.

>>1657175

I don't think we have any plums left.

>>1657185
lol, that pic is pretty fucking cool.

>>1657190
Thanks barkeep. I'll grab one at the bar today.

>>1657190

Where's my bottle of cointreau?

>>1657181

Maybe something warm and sweet can help your tormented soul. The secret ingredient is Grand Marnier. The name of the drink is Chocolate Coffee Kiss.

only on 4chan would people be immature enough to play make-belive bartending.

>>1657174

It has been my observation that the intelligent enjoy drugs. A lot. I'm not sure if it's more than the average person, average people enjoy drugs a lot as well.

*slig*

Martini red for me and an irish bomb for my friend Pat, our common friend marie needs a better fix... Do you have any Latte di Suocera here?

>>1657185

I think you will enjoy it.

>>1657202

Right next you sir for the past few minutes, I'm surprised you missed it. I left it there during our last conversation.

Pint of Fosters please, mate

>>1657223

You drink sir, and Irish Bomb is on the way. About the Latte di Suocera, I think I will have to look in the back for it.

oh man this shit is delicious

>>1657223

Here you go. And I think we'll manage somehow with Latte di Suocera.

>>1657219
Well sir, if you don't like it, you are free to leave.

Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out, I know you already have lots of butthurt, you faggot.

>>1657234

As ordered.

>>1657188

dont forget me here

>>1657269
Thanks

>>1657270

I couldn't possibly. Thank you for bearing with the wait.

>>1657223

Our last bottle. Would you like for me to leave it with you?

>>1657264
we have some good things to toast to

don't disappont Marie, she's hard to handle if mad!

>>1657287
Who would that be?

I couldn't possibly dissapoint your dear wife, sir.

Please come again, the bar will be open at all times, but perhaps you could suggest a more classy drink next time. ; )

What a great impersonation sir, but I can get you a cab if you feel like it. I see you are already on the brink of comprehension.

>>1657294

A Ricard without ice please.

>>1657323

I will leave the bottle nearby. I have a feeling it will come in handy.

>>1657323
One Ricard without ice.

My pleasure sir.

>>1657339

Not only too slow but also with only the bottle, and poor quality too.

Such a crappy impostor.

>>1657339
Im sorry sir, do you work here?

I don't belive I recognize you.

Please leave now. I will be calling the police to pick you up and take your drunk ass out of my establishment.

>>1657350
could I get a vodka tonic on ice?

>>1657367
Why certainly sir, I took the liberty of adding a fresh lemon slice, just how you like it.

>>1657374
here you are.

>>1657374
>>1657350
>>1657339

I have the feeling OP already left this thread.

You're not fooling anyone.

Bartender, i'd like a Manhattan, a Cosmopolitan, two lemon drops, and 4 Mojitos

and make it snappy

>Thanks for your request.
>It has been added to our database and the thread will be archived as soon as enough request for that thread have been made.
>This thread has been requested 1 times now.

>>1657394
I'm sorry sir, we're fresh out. But I have something that should life your spirits.

>>1657394
Here you go sir. I will leave the bottle with you. I have a feeling it might come in handy when you need a refil.

>>1657405
you cannot be out of the ingredients to make those drinks you fuck face.

If you couldn't make any of those drinks your a failure as a bartender and your bar is a horrible establishment

>>1657405
>>1657421

Failure after failure after failure. Stop pretending you are the real bartender here.

>>1657421
My my, I forogt the drink. It's been a long shift, and they pay me penuts.

Tips are appreciated:
paypal:
bartending4chan@gmail.com

>>1657436

OP here, excuse me but what the hell are you doing?

>>1657444

>>1657444
I jacked yo shit. DEAL WITH IT FAGGOT.

YOU WEREN'T PRODUCING, I HAD TO STEP IN TO SAVE YOU FROM BUTTHURT.

OP here, I wasn't going to do this, but now that I see this faggot >>1657436 doing it, I figure its a good idea.

MY PayPal:
jackpilot@hotmail.com

Any other requests gentlemen?

>>1657503


could I get a martini on the rocks bartender?

>>1657527
"Im a huge faggot please raep my face."

>>1657527
>>1657503
>>1657483
>>1657436
>>1657339
>>1657421
>>1657383
>>1657350
>>1657545

I trolled all you bitchass ho's like a straight pimp jigalo.

>mfw i still never got my black death
>sadface.jpg

absolut and ice