/sci/ - Science & Math

Ignore the news since the cold war ended looooong ago

I get into my lead-lined bomb shelter, stocked with food and water left over from the last owners, along with plants for photosynthesis and a hazmat suit for fixing things outside. I'm an engineer, so I can solve the practical problems I will face.

That looks like a giant boob.

>>1538168 fall world-wide in half an hour

Why the hell is the rest of the world being bombed over America and Russia's bullshit?

>>1538168
make sure there are no "secret" rocket sites near you.

Wonder why Russia and the US were fighting? Seriously, it's been 21 years since the USSR collapsed.

>>1538179
Because they have small penises.

>>1538181
>implying relationships with Russia are smooth.
There's more to it than the USSR, buddy. And both sides have a lot of nukes. It just takes some bad communication and BAM! Annihilation.

>>1538186
>Implying either country would destroy the world over a bad conversation or a bad day.

>>1538190
I guess we're fine now we have a leader that shouldn't have penis envy. But if some US military action got too close to Russia, things could get bad, fast. See Cuban Missile Crisis.

The first tactical step in nuclear was is to destroy your enemy's ability to retaliate. You do this by nuking your enemy's nuclear facilities, even if they're hardened, as it kicks up so much shit into the atmosphere that they can't launch. Incidentally, I'm close enough to a whole field of the fucking things that there's no way for me to escape the fallout.

tl;dr: I kiss my ass goodbye.

>>1538193

>> Implying the cuban missile crisis was due to military actiont aking place too close to Russia.

>>1538193
>Implying Cuba is near Russia

MOTHER FUCKERS

EVERY HEAR OF MUTUALLY ASSURED DESTRUCTION

NO SIDE WOULD DARE TO NUKE THE OTHER BECAUSE THEY KNOW THEY GET FUCKED IN THE ASSHOLES THEMSELVES THEN.

THE COLD WAR WAS NEVER EVEN CLOSE TO A NUCLEAR WAR, BESIDES THE EARLY 60'S/AROUND THE TIME OF THE CUBAN MISSLE CRISIS. BESIDES THAT, THEY NEVER GOT EVEN CLOSE TO PRESSING THE BOOM BUTTON.

SO THERE. I JUST TAUGHT YOU HISTORY.

ALSO I DID MY CAPTCHA IN CAPS

>>1538201


EVERY HEAR OF MUTUALLY ASSURED DESTRUCTION

>>1538197
Same thing, other way round. It's more likely for the US to overstep the boundaries this time.

>>1538197
>>1538199
US nukes in Turkey were an issue for soviets, that's why they took soviet nukes to Cuba to even the odds. After Cuban missile crisis got resolved I think some nukes were removed from Turkey.

1: Crack open a beer
2: Write some last thoughts down
3: Fap to loli porn

This way, I'll die doing what I love. And if by any chance a wizard stops the bombs, at least this way I won't be embarrassed afterwards.

Have sex.

Really. I know a girl that I'm semi-dating that would, and a few others that I definitely could with. It'd be alright.

And, if we end up surviving, hey, I got sex and presumably a long relationship with her.

>>1538363
Or you get dumped because you fucked every other female you could find and got herpes.

Go outside and watch the mushroom clouds. What the fuck else you going do? Live underground for 500 years holding your dick?

reCaptcha surgeon density

>>1538368

or realize that most sexually active people already have herpes and it is asymptomatic in almost everyone

I always shake my head and sigh when people talk about 'dropping nukes', because they always do it wrong.
If someone was to nuke the USA, they'd have to be very careful about where they set them off.
You want terror, not patriotism.
The white house? Pah. Noone would give a shit. Our government is self-contained, with backups out the ass.
New York? Sure. Just be sure not to even scorch the paint off of that big, beautiful green lady in the harbor. You'd see our military triple overnight.
Disney? Kill children and old people? Whats the point? You'd get some outrage, but thats about it.

Nah, if you want to really fuck with America, your best bet is to nuke a few small, no-name towns in the midwest. Get people to panic.
Let the radiation spread over the crops, thereby killing our food and economy in one swipe.

>>1538398
Made more terrifying because I live in the Midwest.

>>1538398
>implying the military would behave any differently if you nuked the statue of liberty or some unknown town in the midwest

you'd wanna go full out. nuking washington, newyork, boston, cleveland, would do A LOT of harm. not only ruin much of the government, but as well as many research centers, factories, production centers. colleges, and much more. not to mention how many people you would vaporize, and how many of those are valuable.

I'LL DANCE
DANCE WITH TEARS IN MY EYES
LIVING OUT A MEMORY
OF THE LOVE THAT DIED

>>1538413
if you had a large salvo, then sure, go for it
but i'm thinkin if we 'were' going to get nuked, it would be from a terrorist cell, who would probably only be able to aquire a few suitcase sized bombs
if you want your enemy to go down, the quickest way is to attack them from the inside
go for the food supply first, which most of our food is still grown here in the states, aside from the small percentage of imports
while you're doing that, you're also fucking with the economy, which again, is centralized in the midwest.
A large portion of our exports is the exact same food we consume. Corn, wheat, soy.. etc.
The American government, however, is a little trickier to take down.
Off one guy, and they've already got the next 12 guys lined up right behind him, shined up for the next emergency election.
Our government, as shitty as it can be, is pretty much here to stay.
Its sort of like an evolving cockroach, hard to kill, and always changing the way it looks every hundred years or so.
The only people who can take down our government are us.
Its happened once, and I doubt if it'll be the last time. Though I don't know if i'll be around to see the next civil skirmish.

>>1538469
if you have only several nukes, how will nuking the midwest greatly affect the US economy?

each nuke wouldn't ruin that much crop. i don't know the exact measurements, but i'm pretty damn sure even 10 nukes used effectively across the midwest wouldn't be enough to damage even half of the food/economy fields.

More like China and USA.

Also...continue watching news...and wait for the fallout, then kill myself.

>>1538482

fallout, nobody will eat radioactve food etc.

Make my way over to the mountain overlooking my city (which isn't high at all) and open up Ulysses or The Idiot by Dostoevsky.

Be happy that I live in switzerland

Head for the Royal Observer's obsolete fallout shelter about 2 miles away from my home
Cold war relics; Fuck Yeah

>>1538387
Or realise that this is actually wrong and all of your female friends are sluts

Brace for sweet death, survive, rage.

>>1538482
then you're wrong. Unless russia decided to use its very smallest nukes and tactically aimed them to do as little damage as possible fallout would 1) destroy all crop growth, irradiating food and making it dangerous and 2) cause long term damage to the ground making it unusable

Pull out the old geiger counter and start looting like a motherfucker.

I'd loot everything! Houses, businesses, banks, everything. If you get out of your fallout shelter and all your shit's missing then chances are I broke in.

I live in New Zealand.

No one's going to bomb New Zealand.

I feel kind of left out.

>>1538536
That's without even bringing up the EMP, which in the modern world can cause as much damage as the radiation.

>>1538545
setting off an EPFCG on the last day at a rubbish job is what I dream of doing. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Explosively_pumped_flux_compression_generator

>>1538541
how does it feel to know you get left out at the AUCANUKUS pact because makes it difficult to pronounce?

no need to panic, or wonder. Google FEMA fallout maps and get something like this.
http://www.ki4u.com/webpal/d_resources/list.htm

Most of the fallout seems to be generated from a few small areas where the ruskies must do saturation bombing with nukes to destroy hardened facilities. Keep away from the downwind areas of these places.

WWIII will be survivable.