/sci/ - Science & Math

>you know what to do
report this shitty thread?

Do it /sci/

Where do I go to?

do YOU know what to do OP?

Go back to /b/

>he thinks this is /b/ >>1412256

>>1412280

There's a "Chat with us" tab.

asking how to get into heaven as we speak, here

Agent [Kristin] is ready to assist you.
Me: hello
Kristin: Hello, my name is Kristin.
Kristin: How may I help you?
Me: Is mormonism racist against native americans? I have always wondered this because I was told you thought they used to be white.
Kristin: No, we are not racist.
Me: Do you believe Native Americans were punished and turned red as a punishment?

Still going

Welcome to Mormon.org chat.
A representative will be with you shortly.
Agent [Roger] is ready to assist you.
Agent [Roger] is ready to assist you.
Roger: hello...how are you?
Me: hi, fine thanks
Me: I have a question...
Roger: sure...what is it?
Me: Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
The chat session has ended.

the best question

"I'm gay, am I still welcome in the church?"

pen moon drop etc

tihs thread is teh amazin
thanx anonz

>>1412326
Will test this out, casually

Me: Hello!
Me: I really have just one question: Was the book of mormon *really* read out of a hat?
Agent [Todd] is ready to assist you.
The chat session has ended.

how rude!

Me: Do you believe Native Americans were punished and turned red as a punishment?
Kristin: No
Me: do all christians get into heaven or just mormons

Just answering these 2 questions has taken over 10 minutes and she only answered the first

>>1412343
she's in a convo with me, too, son.
My bet is they have 4 agents, and they answer tons of people each

>>1412349
She said she had to go, same for you? or did she not want to answer me?

>>1412354
She's practically left, here.
convo hasn't ended, but 4 unanswered questions for... about 10 min or something...

>>1412366
now it ended...

Be polite and explain stuff; unlike /b/ you aren't retarded

Todd: Hello, my name is Todd.
Todd: How may I help you?
Me: SO how is this different from other sects of christianity?
Todd: Well I believe if you look around mormon.org you can find the answer to that question. :)
Me: Fair enough
Me: well im currently a deist and i was wondering why a personal god is a more logical chioce
Todd: I don't know.
Todd: I don't know why it would be more logical for you...
Me: why is it logical for you?
Todd: Because of the confirmations I've had through the Holy Ghost.
Me: where does the mormon church stand on the evolution v.s creation issue?
Todd: We believe that God created the earth.
Me: but is it 4.6 billion years old or 6000?
Todd: Who knows.
Me: Scientists
Todd: Really?
Me: yes we can use geology to aproximate
Todd: And scientists have never been wrong before?
Todd: Oh approximate...
Me: never a for sure answer
Todd: So we have a guess?
Todd: I thought you said scientists knew though?
Me: a aproximation
Todd: I'm confused...
Todd: Oh so they have a guess?
Me: not a guees
Me: more like a estamate
Todd: Which would be... By definition... A guess.
Todd: Because anything that isn't known for sure... Is a guess.
Me: an educated guess
Todd: So a guess...
Me: we do have evidence
Todd: Well God has evidence too. :)
Me: although we know its 4.6 billion give or take a couple million years
Me: I know
Todd: I see.
Todd: Well that doesn't necessarily contradict the Bible.
Me: i believe in god aswell
Todd: That's wonderful. :)
Todd: Do you ever pray?
Me: yes
Todd: Awesome.
Me: not the not asking for things mind you
Todd: Oh you don't ask for things?
Me: more like thank you my existance then can i be cured of cancer
Me: as i said im a deist
Todd: Oh I gotcha.
Todd: Well I have to be going now.
Me: ok
Me: good bye
Todd: Bye!

Nice fellow

Me: What does the Mormon church think of evolution? Do you guys have your own creation myth?
Victor: We believe in the account from the Bible that the creation of all life was done under God's direction. Evolution may play into how God accomplished that, but there was certainly God's hand in it, and we as God's children have a divine relationship with God.
Me: So do you believe the creation myth is literal? How about the Noah's Flood story?
Victor: I know the creation was done exactly as God commanded, though we have a lot of reason to assume the Bible wasn't made in six days as we see time. The bible makes it clear that God sees time differently than we do.
Me: What about the account that says that plants were made before the sun and moon?
Victor: That's another confusing thing too. The bible doesn't actually say the stars were made on the fourth day, he just talks about it then. They probably already had been made by God when he said "let their be light" and the darkness cleared. I find the Genesis account makes a lot more sense if you think of it as how you'd see the creation from stading on the earth, and not from the universe as a whole.
Me: Doesn't it seem odd to see creation from the perspective of earth, when we see time from the perspective of God? Also, if evolution took billions of years with no sun, plants would have never evolved.
Me: Also, it seems odd to keep changing the time frame like that, as it only takes 8 minutes for the light of the sun to get to earth, but it takes many years for life to develop
Victor: Howso, it's already very clear that 'day' isn't to be taken as it typically would.
Me: In addition, is a creation really taking place if it is completely driven by naturalistic processes?
Me: If we assume that "day" is a certain length of time, or even an approximation, it just seems odd to me to have a billion year day, followed by an eight minute one.

Still talking.

>>1412253
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>>1412395
nice. little brainwashed. but nice.

>>1412253

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bln po qn hio zpargct ooyje yzavtpcz g jdnfur gppztr

Me: Hi
Seth: Hello, how are you?
Me: I'm good
Me: isten, I was wondering
Me: Even though I'm black, can I still enter the kingdom of heaven?
Me: Cause I heard somewhere that I culdn't
Seth: Yes, we know we are all God's children, and we can all go to heaven.
Me: But why would be make me black, thou?
Couldn't he make everyone white, and equal?
Me: Oh, by the way
Seth: We are all different and unique.
Me: I have this homie, right, and he told me he was a pedo, but that he ain't rape nobody, right?
And I was wondering, is he still coo' with God?
The chat session has ended.

bump

>>1412396

Victor: Do you have any idea how many billions of years it probably took for the sun to be created. We're not talking eight minutes.
Victor: But could you honestly see the audience God was talking to, when he explained the creation making any sense of the idea of 'billions'
Me: For sure, fair enough.
Me: So is god basically the sum of the laws of nature?
Victor: The important thing to catch from the account, is that God spoke and it happened. He is an actual physical being with control over the forces of nature that we've barely begun to conquer for ourselves.
Me: Also, that would have to mean the plants existed for an even longer time without the sun. Unless they were being developed at the same time and the plants finished first. Either way, it would be a long, cold time.
Me: I suppose, if God created the forces of nature, and then sat back and watched them go to work, he could in a sense have created everything in the universe if he knew the exact outcome.
Victor: So let me ask this, do you know ther is a God, or believe in him youself?
Me: I'm not a believer myself, but I am interested in the church. I have a friend that's a mormon.
Victor: That's neat. Have you ever accompanied your friend to church?

Still talking, although I probably won't record anymore, as it seems he doesn't want to talk science anymore.

>>1412442
drop the gay bomb on him

Great job trolls, aggravating people on the internet. I hope you all are proud.

Ben: Hello, my name is Ben.How may I help you?
Me: hello ben
Me: I have a question. it's not really about religion, but I promise it isn't explicit or embarrassing. would you try to answer it?
Ben: sure
Me: okay
Me: imagine you are standing on the moon in a space suit
Me: and you are holding a pen in your right hand
Me: you open your hand and let go of the pen
Me: what happens to the pen?
Me: ben?
Ben: the pen will float away i think

>>1412491

ask this

Well, if God made trees and they're living, and you're supposedly a religion of love and peace, why do you cut down trees to print the bible on?

>>1412485
Welcome to 4chan.

>>1412491

>>1412252

ｓＴｏP_aTTAＣKing_AnD ｆＵCｋＩNG wＩth_WwＷ.ＡＮoＣarrOtStAlK.sＥ ｒeｐLａｃＥ_cａrｒOｔＳ_ＷｉＴｈ ｎ
x zcpllk h sugfahofprrfg tavyx o zw z hc qe

>>1412491

>>1412491

anyone have or get a guy named bryan?

Agent [Jemima] is ready to assist you.
Me: Hello?
Agent [Kaitlyn] has joined the chat.
Jemima: hi!
Kaitlyn: How may we help you?
Jemima: i'm jemima
Me: Well I am currently a non believer, and I happened to think this
Jemima: ?
Me: Ive heard christians say, that christianity is a religion of love and peace
Kaitlyn: think what?
Me: would you say that?
Kaitlyn: I would say we try to follow Christs example
Me: and thats to harm no living thing right?
Kaitlyn: yeah
Me: everything of nature is living, correct?
Me: animals plants and so on
Jemima: yeah
Me: then why do you cut down trees to print the bible on?
Jemima: the Lord provided HIs creation for us to use..we have to use it wisely...

>>1412556
I'm 100% serious about that conversation. Plus, he took like 5 minutes to respond so I thought he was searching for the answer...

>>1412491
>hypnotising mormons into /sci/ence, lolwut

>>1412577
Well, fuck.

>>1412577

>>1412491
i lol'd

>>1412491
oh dude that is brilliant.

>>1412491
mormons, confirmed for stupid

Bump

Same poster as >>1412491
I'm currently talking to Bryan and I asked him the same question

Agent [Kaitlyn] has joined the chat.
Me: so
Kaitlyn: yeah
Me: do you have any evidence for what's in the bible? or do you just accept it all as true?
Kaitlyn: all true
Me: But why?
Kaitlyn: It's the word of God
Me: How do you know it's the word of God?
Kaitlyn: It's in the bible
Me: How do you know the Bible can be trusted?
Kaitlyn: Because it's the word of god
Me: Do you notice any circular reasoning here?
Kaitlyn: Only from you, godless
Me: Whut
Kaitlyn: You probably watch Dawkins' videos too, don't you?

Mormons: Confirmed for retards.

Agent [Bryan] is ready to assist you.
Me: hello bryan
Bryan: Hello, my name is Bryan. How may I help you?
Me: I have a question. it's not really about religion, but I promise it isn't explicit or embarrassing. would you try to answer it?
Me: bryan are you there?
Bryan: I'll do my best to answer it for you
Me: okay I appreciate it
Me: imagine you are standing on the moon in space suit
Me: and you are holding a pen in your right hand
Me: you open your hand and let go of the pen
Me: what happens to the pen?
Me: bryan?
Bryan: I don't know - I would imagine that it would float right there

>>1412577
Jemima: you believe in God yourself?
Me: no, I am a non believer
Me: of anything
Me: atheist
Kaitlyn: sorry to hear that
Me: why?
Kaitlyn: where here to help people learn more about God
Me: do you have proof that he exists?
Me: the reason I dont believe
Kaitlyn: how did we get here?
Me: I dont know
Kaitlyn: whats the purpose of this life?
Kaitlyn: what happens after death?
Me: work buy consume die
Me: is the purpose of life
Kaitlyn: thats sad to me
Me: yes it is
Me: but thats how it is
Me: how do you know there is something beyond this life?
Me: no one can tell you
Me: for no one can come back
Jemima: that's why we have people called by God as prophets to guide us here on earth..
Me: but who told them?
Jemima: God...
Me: how?
Jemima: Revelation.. God loves us so he will continually provide a way for us to know his will...
Me: I have a question, about in the beginning, of adam and eve
Me: why would he have a tree of evil, if he knew that adam and eve knew nought of sin?
Me: why even have it there as temptation?
Me: adam and eve dont know what sin is, and have none
Me: by putting it there
Me: it gives them temptation to have sin born

>>1412656
[snippets from the bible here about adam and eve]
Me: why is there a devil?
Me: he had to come from somewhere
Kaitlyn: He did...
Me: where/
Kaitlyn: there is opposition in all things
Me: did god make him?
Me: why? god is omnipotent, he is supposedly all powerful
Me: why does he need an opposite?
Kaitlyn: yes... he is our brother but He did not want to follow Gods plan
Kaitlyn: so we can know good from bad
Me: so he created evil, so we can choose between good and evil?
Jemima: satan chose to be bad...god didn't creat it as a bad person..
Me: but before satan
Me: there was no bad
Me: so how can one be bad without evil in the first place
Me: there was no malice before satan
Me: therefore it is impossible to create malice
Jemima: yes.....till after satan chose be bad..
Me: satan was used to be an angel
Kaitlyn: yes
Me: which meant he was good
Me: therefore he knew no malice
Kaitlyn: ya
Me: and could not become bad
Me: therefore, theres no reason for satan
Me: unless god made satan
Kaitlyn: were here to help people come closer to Jesus Christ....
Me: but why is there evil?

>>1412650
>Kaitlyn: You probably watch Dawkins' videos too, don't you?
I lol'd
tell her you fap to dawkings for maximum trollship

>>1412661
Kaitlyn: because there is opposition in all things
Kaitlyn: we all have the freedom to choose
Me: is the earth the center of the universe/
Kaitlyn: just like you have the choice to believe in God or not
Kaitlyn: Jesus Christ is the center
Me: so the universe orbits around him?
Me: but hes dead
Kaitlyn: Jesus Christ live
Me: so the universe orbits around bones?
Kaitlyn: lives

>>1412556
https://spreadsheets.google.com/viewform?formkey=dEMxWWlBWmFMWFBRUWxOam0xaWZZUUE6MQ

Continued lulz from >>1412655
Me: do you mind if I explain it to you?
Bryan: go ahead
Me: okay well the moon doesn't have an atmosphere, unlike earth
Me: that, combined with it's retrograde spin means the gravitational force resulting from its orbit is negated
Me: so you were slightly wrong. the pen will actually be attracted to the earth's gravitational pull
Me: so it will fall towards the earth
Me: make sense?
Me: bryan?
Bryan: yes
Me: cool so you understand?
Bryan: I think so

>>1412693

>>1412693
Uh huh, you're slowly decreasing the intelligence of the world. The only crime that should be punished by death.

>>1412693

The moons gravitational field should be stronger than the earth's at its surface. I'm calling bullshit.

>>1412670
Jemima: he was resurrected...
Jemima: you can read it in the bible
Me: but then he died again
Me: right?
Jemima: no..he ascended to God in heaven
Me: but where is heaven?
Me: its no in the clouds
Me: not*
Kaitlyn: we are here to help people come closer to Him.... people who truly want to get closer to Him who have faith....
Me: but I want to believe
Me: but I dont understand
Jemima: we have a video that you can watch so you can learn more...
Me: its alright, I only have one more question
Me: are people born evil?
Jemima: http://jesuschrist.lds.org/SonOfGod/eng/finding-faith-in-christ/video/finding-faith-in-christ
Jemima: no..
Me: then how do they become evil?
Jemima: because satan tempts them

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>>1412732
>The only crime that should be punished by death.
>Implying it is a very intelligent thing to say.

>>1412741

>>1412741
no shit, it's called trolling

>>1412741
boy
he trollin

lol he deleted his post

>>1412748
>>1412749
>>1412755
/sci/ons

Floating Pen anon, you failed.
You were kind of promising, now, get the fuck of /sci/ please...

>>1412737
Me: how?
Kaitlyn: they choose to make bad decisions
Me: how do they know they are bad?
Me: if a young child lies
Me: but does not know it is bad
Me: did satan tempt him?
Kaitlyn: no children are perfect through Jesus Christ
Me: whats the cut off age?
Kaitlyn: and Christs atonement
Kaitlyn: 8
Kaitlyn: years old
Me: who picked 8?
Kaitlyn: God
Me: when did he say this?
Kaitlyn: in the Book of Mormon
Kaitlyn: scripture
Me: alright
Me: but whats the big difference between 7 and 8?
Me: why are seven year olds perfect and eight not?
Kaitlyn: its comes from God and we dont question it
Kaitlyn: in this life we have to have faith, we dont know everything
Kaitlyn: sometimes we have to walk by faith rather than sight
Me: how do we know that those prophets werent lieing?
Kaitlyn: through prayer
Kaitlyn: God
Me: they said thats what god said
Me: but how do we know they werent lieing
Me: and god did not actually tell them that?
Kaitlyn: you have to have faith
Me: in prophets? prophets are men
Me: and they're over 7, so they're evil
Kaitlyn: truly if your not open we cant help you, you have to have faith....
Me: whats the difference between mormons and other christians?

>>1412773
Jemima: we have the truth and authority from God..
Jemima: but we have to go now...
Me: but the other christians say that too
Me: which ones telling the truth?
Jemima: thank you for your questions...
Kaitlyn: you can pray about it and ask God in faith
Me: Im not done
Me: HEIL SATAN
Me: PRAISE BE HIS NAME
Kaitlyn: good luck
Jemima: good luck
Kaitlyn: bye
Agent [Kaitlyn] has left the chat.
The chat session has ended.

>>1412781

>Kaitlyn: you can pray about it and ask God in faith

Didn't she understand you're an atheist?

Oh wait she's a creationist.

>>1412693
>Make people stupider
>be happy about it

>>1412773
8?

Welcome to Mormon.org chat.
A representative will be with you shortly.
Agent [Bryan] is ready to assist you.
Bryan: Hello, my name is Bryan. How may I help you?
Me: Hey, Bryan.
Me: I've just got a few question for you.
Bryan: okay, I'll do my best to help you answer it
Me: You hold a pen in your hand. You are on the moon. You extend your arm and drop the pen. What does the pen do?
Bryan: falls to the earth
Me: What?
Me: No.
Me: The moon is closer. Your pen is going to fall towards the moon at something like 2.3 m/s^2
Me: Eventually, it will hit the moon's surface.
Me: Then it will stay there.

Bryan is now educated.

>>1412832
actually, it will accelerate at 2.3 m/s^2 - how fast will it fall? depends on how high it is

>>1412832
and you're a cunt

>>1412842
Oops. You're right. I always say 'fall' instead of 'accelerate'. I really need to break that habit.

ｓTＯＰ aｔtＡckiNｇ Ａｎd_FUCｋＩＮg wｉＴH_ＷwW.ａｎoＣａrｒOtstAlK.se ＲEpＬaＣe ｃａrrOｔＳ_WｉTh Ｎ
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Agent [Bob] is ready to assist you.
Me:I have a question. it's not really about religion, but I promise it isn't explicit or embarrassing. would you try to answer it?
Bob: sure
Me: ok, uhh Do you respect my position? Can i enjoy this CP?
Bob: What is CP?
Me: Well, um let's say it's a small, tiny tight Cheese Pizza.
Bob: All things in moderation alright?
Me: Fuck no Mods are fags
Bob: Is your question about homosexualism?
Me: My friend cries at night because he is gay, why did God do that to him?
Bob: He doesn't love God enough.
Me: That's the thing he gets hard when he thinks of God's awesome power and almighty cock.
Agent [Bob] has left the chat.
The chat session has ended.

this thread is pure win. holy fuck i havnt laughed this hard in so long.

>>1412887
homosexulism?
ask him about fucking traps

>>1412887
>tiny tight Cheese Pizza.

oh god i lold

Agent [Elliott] is ready to assist you.
Elliott: Hello, my name is Elliott.
Me: Hello
Elliott: How are you?
Me: I am a non believer trying to learn more about Mormonism
Me: How are you?
Me: I am good today
Elliott: I'm good thanks
Elliott: How can I help you?
Me: I was wondering what Mormons think of when it comes to the doctrine of hell
Me: Do you believe people go to hell simply for non belief?
Elliott: Yes
Me: And is that all non mormons
Elliott: No
Me: Or do Christians that are not mormons go to heaven?
Elliott: Yes they do
Me: So you tie salvation to whoever believes in Jesus Christ like normal christians do?
Elliott: Yes but they will not live in the presence of God
Me: Aha
Me: Now for a spiritual question
Me: What would a mormon think if another religion, not abrahamic, that also claims nonbelievers suffer punishment in the afterlife, turned out to be true?
Me: Would you say people deserve hell because they chose to believe in the wrong religion of their own free will?
Elliott: No
Me: Then what would you say is the mormon way of justifying how nonbelievers go to hell.
Me: Normal Christians generally say that it because nonbelievers chose to be nonbelievers on the account of their own will
Me: Do Mormons have a different response?
Elliott: well God is the judge. He will judge us all and He decides our fate
Me: Would you judge people in the same way, damning all nonbelievers to hell?
Elliott: No
Me: You see, I wouldn't
Me: Do you worship a God less merciful than yourself?
The chat session has ended.
I am such an asshole.

GUYS HOLD ON WITH THAT LANGUAGE, WE'RE NOT FUCKING /b/

I BET THEY'LL BE RAGIN' THEY'RE PANTS OFF SO MUCH THAT SOON THEY'LL CLOSE THE WHOLE CHAT SYSTEM

>>1412994
FORM MY BABBIES!

>Welcome to Mormon.org chat.
>A representative will be with you shortly.

Fuck you guys, you underage hurp de la durp faggots better not be rude to them, otherwise us normal people will never be able to talk to them. Seriously, behave.

>>1412994

>>Me: Normal Christians generally say that it because nonbelievers chose to be nonbelievers on the account of their own will
Me: Do Mormons have a different response?
Elliott: well God is the judge. He will judge us all and He decides our fate
Me: Would you judge people in the same way, damning all nonbelievers to hell?
Elliott: No
Me: You see, I wouldn't
Me: Do you worship a God less merciful than yourself?
The chat session has ended.
MORMON STATUS:

[]Not Told
[]Told
[X]So fucking Told.

>>1413064 here

was referring to

>>1412994

>>1412994
That was well done.

>>1413046
Never share something with 4chan if you will not tolerate it to be shitted on ad infinitum

Welcome to Mormon.org chat.
A representative will be with you shortly.
Agent [Julie] is ready to assist you.
Me: Hello
Agent [Megan] has joined the chat.
Megan: Hi
Me: Hello
Megan: How are you doing?
Me: Are there two people in here now?
Megan: yes
Me: Ah, okay.
Megan: A little confusing I know...
Megan: How can we help you today?
Me: I've been feeling a bit lost.
Me: Where can I find Jesus?
Julie: Have you prayed?
Me: No.
Me: How will that help me?
Julie: Because God answers our prayers and we can know that Jesus loves us.
Me: So how do I know he hears me?
Me: Isn't there an easier way to do this?
Me: Hello?


I think they left. :(

>>1413046

>>expecting 4chan /sci/, of all boards, to not shit on a religious chatroom when posted.

>>1412994

Elliot confirmed for future Ex Mormon.

someone should troll them by
a) pretending to be from islam or whatever
b) talking about cp
c) pretending to be possessed
d) whatever else

Just got cut off at the slightest hint of being a troll.

They are catching on

>>1412887

>Me: My friend cries at night because he is gay, why did God do that to him?

>Bob: He doesn't love God enough.

Sound logic there guys

>>1412887
>>1412693
>>1412491
Fucking lol'd hard @ these.

>>1413186
>Love a Patriarchal archetype enough,
>stop being gay.
Quite sound.

>>1413166

Elliott: I can send you a link to it
Me: I don't think I want to own it.
Elliott: That way you can read it online
Me: That would be nice, thanks!
Elliott: http://scriptures.lds.org/en/bm/contents
Me: So, is that one your favorite?
Elliott: What do you mean?
Me: Out of the old, new, and mormon books.
Elliott: Well I like them all
Me: Ah, I see.
Me: Mind if I ask you a question?
Elliott: Go ahead
Me: Do you guys ever get rude people on this chat?
Elliott: Yes we do
Me: Or like atheists trying to argue?
Me: Oh, how do you deal with that?
Elliott: We get them all
Elliott: And it depends on the situation
Me: Get them?
Elliott: We politely end the chat
Me: Ah, I see.
Me: Are some days worse then others?
Elliott: Yeah
Me: What's the worst person you've ever had, out of curiousity?
Elliott: I don't know
Me: Ah, well, okay, thanks for your time. I'll be sure to read this. :)
Elliott: k
Me: Bye!
Elliott: Bye

Apparently, this isn't a new thing.

someone send them a link to 4chan /b/

>>1413213
>>1413213
>>1413236
>politely end the chat
I see what you did there.

>>1413236
Everyone and his mother knows about 4chan and /b/, why would these guys not be aware of a website that trolls the hell out of them on a regular basis.

This thread is golden

>>1413277
>implying it's not platinum

>>1413268
>24/7 neckbeard basement-dwelling since 2004
>ask mom for cheetos for you to troll tonite.

Gonna ask why they hate gays

>>1413295
because they don't love god enough.

>>1413297
want something more

I tried, but for some reason I am unable to troll these people. I just feel sorry for them..

>>1412689
Where are the results thus far for this?

>>1413308
>troll remorse

>>1413308

Disregard feelings, troll harder.

>>1413318

Welcome to Mormon.org chat.
A representative will be with you shortly.
Agent [Kollin] is ready to assist you.
Kollin: Hello, my name is Kollin.How may I help you?
Me: Hello, I was wondering, can I make my own temple garments?
Kollin: are you a member of our church?
Me: No
The chat session has ended.

[...]
Me: Well, anyway, I have to be going now.
Me: Thank you for all that information, I'll look more into it in the future.
Julie: Ok. Well would you be interested in talking again? Megan and i can teach you a bit more...
Me: Sure, why not?
Julie: Well we can set up a time to talk again. What is your email?
Me: rob.miller@hotmail.com
Me: I really have to go now, nice talking to you.
Me: Bye.
Julie: wait...
Julie: how old are you?
Me: Why do you need to know all these things?
Julie: We need to make sure you're over 18...
Julie: It's according to our policy.
Me: Well I'm 17, turning 18 in december.
Julie: Ok.
Julie: well, we actually would have to have your parents permission in order to talk with you again.
Me: What the heck? I'm a first year university student goddamn it, why can't you just talk to me? Are these the teachings of God?
Me: What is preventing you from talking to me?
Julie: You'd need to be at least 18.
Me: Why's that? I see no decent reason.
Megan: It is a saftey reason, to make sure your parents would be okay with you learning more...
Megan: Would they be alright with it do you think?
Me: So there might be something dangerous about learning more about Christianity?
Me: Doesn't sound too good, now does it?
Megan: No, we it is just what we have to do if someone is under 18 and wants to learn more. We would just have to talk to your parents, have them say it is ok and then we would be able to teach you.
Me: But if there is no risk, why do you need my parents permission in the first place?
Megan: It is just what we have to do Rob...would you be interested in us getting permission from your parents?

>>1412689

I would say both, but I think the correct answer would be either for number four.

>>1413349
Me: Actually I'm very confused about this whole permission thing.
Me: I'd just like to have an answer.
Julie: We've had situations come up where parents have been mad that we've talked with their kid.
Julie: Parents should be the main influence in their kids' lives. We don't want to interfere with that.
Julie: Does that make sense?
Me: Well, as a quasi-adult student I personally think I am old enough to make my own mind, and shouldn't need to bother my parents just because I am curious.
Me: But if that goes against your rules, oh well.
Julie: Ok, well if you have more questions feel free to come back. Or email us if you have some questions.
Julie: askaquestion19@mtc.byu.edu
Me: Ok, thank you very much.
Me: Wait, why didn't you ask for my age when we started the conversation?
Me: Scientology uses the same techniques to attract people. At first, they don't bother you, but then later after a nice little brainwash, your wallet gets thinner and thinner day after day.
Megan: I am sorry we did not mention it in the beginning. We would love to talk to your parents and get the ok to talk to you...
Me: Oh I got it, you don't have the heart yet to brainwash little kids.
Me: Are you sure Christianity is not a cheap spin-off of Scientology?
Megan: You know that is very offensive?
Me: I'm getting very offended too, you Mormons are starting to sound like Morons to me. I'm very offended by this.
Megan: Ok you don't seem to want to talk with us.
Me: We would all be better off if Jesus only had died on that stupid cross.
The chat session has ended.

>>1413349
>Julie: Ok. Well would you be interested in talking again? Megan and i can teach you a bit more...
It's a trap, all of 'em have Y chromosomes in every fucking cell!!!

Joseph Smith confirmed for Master Troll.

>17
>In college and I'm not
>My face

>>1413347
Oh, just fyi, the temple garments that I mentioned are commonly known around the internet as the famous magic underwear.

Agent [Ben] is ready to assist you.
Ben: Hello, my name is Ben.How may I help you?
Me: Hello, I had a question about the beliefs of Mormons. I promise to be polite.
Me: Would you be willing to answer it for me?
Ben: sure
Me: I am curious what the Mormon church's stance on homosexuality is, and why
Me: Are you still there Ben?
Ben: we believe Homosexuality is a sin
Ben: because God has instructed us that marriage is between a man and woman
Ben: we also believe in the law of Chastity.
Me: I know certain places in the bible refer to it as a sin, but they are the parts that are cultural laws of the Israelites (like in Leviticus).
Me: God instructed us to procreate I know, but did He say marriage is between only a man and a woman?
Ben: here is a page with our beliefs about family
Ben: http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?locale=0&sourceId=1aba862384d20110VgnVCM100000176f620a____&amp
;vgnextoid=e1fa5f74db46c010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD
Me: I'll be sure to look it over.
Ben: i can wait for you to read it...
Me: Ok, give me a moment please
Me: I see... so marriage is to procreate. And sex before marriage is a sin. Since homosexuals can't get married, homosexual sex is a sin?
Ben: yes and that homosexuality is a sin in and of itself
Me: I suppose I just question the taboo against homosexuality since other species practice it as well.

Me: Well, I guess if your "axiom of choice" (what you choose to believe as fundamentally true) is the Mormon bible, then it makes sense to be against homosexuality.
Me: But why is the Mormon church so actively against gay marriage and such?
Ben: that is a great question and there is actually a website that i feel answers it very well
Ben: here is a link
Ben: http://www.preservingmarriage.org/
Me: I guess it just seems lopsidded. There are greater sins to try to prevent in my opinion.
Ben: we are trying to stop all sin...
Me: I guess, but the effort placed in to Prop 8 is huge compared to fighting poverty, education, etc (all of which prevent various sins like drug use, murder, theft, etc)
Me: I suppose that it seems like homosexuality is a greater sin than the others if you look at the money and effort spent.
Ben: the church spends plenty of money and time on those issues as well.
Ben: the church has one of the largest welfare opperations in existence.
Me: Well, I hope it tries to raise as high of a profile as it did with Prop 8.
Me: Thank you for your time sir
Ben: your welcome
Me: you have answer my question. :)
Me: Good day.
Ben: you too

>>1413390
just googled that.
whatthefuckamireading.jpg

Welcome to Mormon.org chat.
A representative will be with you shortly.
Agent [Alexandra] is ready to assist you.
Me: helo
Alexandra: Hello
Me: im jess
Alexandra: How are you Jess?
Me: im fine
Agent [Rebeca] has joined the chat.
Alexandra: That's good.
Alexandra: What brings you to mormon.org?
Me: is the morons momevent about christian
Alexandra: Yes, Jesus Christ is the center of our religion. Do you believe in Jesus Christ?
Me: ye
Alexandra: That's great! And how has that belief helped you?
Me: i bcame a slut lik mom

Welcome to Mormon.org chat.
A representative will be with you shortly.
Agent [Alexandra] is ready to assist you.
Me: Hello
Alexandra: Hello
Me: Wait are you a bot or a person?
Agent [Rebeca] has joined the chat.
Rebeca: We are real people.
Me: Really? How can I know for sure?
Alexandra: In fact, we are missionaries for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
Me: hmmm...
Me: anyways I have a question
Me: Could God create a computer so perfect, that even HE would be fooled by a Turing test?
Me: Cause I was thinking
Me: Maybe we are His computers
Me: And we are his Turing test
Rebeca: God didn't create computers.
Rebeca: and we are his children
Me: Maybe this entire universe is just a computer
Me: every tick, one planck unit at a time, the universe tics by in discrete intervals
Me: and God created it to see if sentience would rise out of the chaos
Rebeca: We know that we are created as his image.
Me: At one time, people thought that every day, God turned the mighty heavens in the sky
Me: We know now, with undeniable evidence, that this is false.
Me: Perhaps one day, us mere humans will create a telescope so powerful, we can look at light from the Earth bent around black holes
Me: Looking at the multi-thousand-year-old light, perhaps we will one day look back on the past with unprecedented precision
Me: And with unfathomable technology, we will directly image Jesus dying on the cross
Rebeca: Well, we know what we know.
Rebeca: But if you have any question about the church or
Me: That day in the future, Jesus' miracles will be proved false.
Me: With unrefutable evidence.
Rebeca: about the website we will glad to answer them
Me: Nah I'm good thanks
Me: I'm gonna go, thanks for talking
Rebeca: perfect!

>>1413432
the rest?

>>1413432
thats just undisciplined. shame shame.

>>1413439

>>1413439

btw she talked SO SLOWWWWW

I'm not Native American, but for the sake of entertainment

Agent [Tim] is ready to assist you.
Me: Hey Tim
Tim: Hey, what's up?
Me: Ok, well I'm a Native Ameriacan, right
Tim: Ok.
Me: So you're saying I was White?
Tim: Yes, the Native American People used to be white, from Jerusalem. God punished them by turning the red.
Me: None of my family is a member of the White man
Tim: You aren't going all the way back to Jerusalem, I'm sure then you'll find some.
Me: I've never even been to Missouri.
Tim: That's not what I'm saying.
Me: So you're saying American Indians originated in Jerusalem, and were white?
Tim: Yes
Me: But Jewish people aren't white.
Tim: They were punished for being Jewish


Huh?

>>1413462

Buh...buh...Judaism was God's chosen people's religion! Wtf?!

>derr herr don't be rude we are /sci/

implying we don't have /b/ open on another tab

This was merely an exercise to get info about mormonism. Next time Ill do something about them being blasphemers

David: Hello, how are you today?
Me: hello?
Me: oh hi
Me: Im great, how are you
David: Great! What can I do for you?
Me: I'm a catholic, and I was talking to my mormon friends and it turns out I don't really know anything about mormons and he suggested I come here
Me: whats the difference between mromons and other christianity?
Me: david?
David: Good question
David: Well we believe that God still speaks to us and that He still reveals truth to us. In other words that there is still growing scripture
David: A proof of this is the Book of Mormon, have you heard of that?
Me: yes
Me: so, you still hear god?
David: Great! Yes we believe He still gives us revelation for the problems that we have in our days
Me: and how do you receive this?
Me: through your pastor?
David: Through a prophet, some one like Moses, Peter and John
Me: so you still have prophets?
David: correct, what we call prophets and apostles
Me: isnt that blasphemous? Jesus is the only prophet of Christianity
David: Christ was more than a prophet, He was the savior and reedemer. There is a scripture that I think will help out
David: It is in the new testament
[bilbe quote]
David: this is in ephesians4:11-14
Me: So there can be other prophets that God speaks to?
David: We can all recieve personal revelation, however only the prophet and apostles can recieve revelation for the whole world.
Me: Oh I'm sorry, but I have to go, can I ask you one more question?
Me: Are you scared of spiders?
David: nope
Me: ok

ask how many wives they have.

>>1413469
honest anon is honest

>>1413469
>implying we have

>>1413482
sorry I meant /vp/

is anyone else having trouble connecting? I have waited like 10 minutes and it still has yet to connect me with one of their missionaries.

>>1413484
There is already /po/ for Pokemon.

>>1413473
That wasn't bad until
>Jesus is the only prophet of Christianity.
That statement escalated it into retard-troll-tier. Seriously.

>>1413478

Mormons haven't practiced polygamy in a looong time

>>1412670
>so the universe orbits around bones?
i lol'd

>>1412256
I'd laugh if someone successfully convinced a Mormon to drop their faith through one of these chats.

Poor Bryan is getting conflicting info

Hey we should totally make a chat website for people asking about atheism

"To request missionaries to deliver your free copy and share a message, please complete the form below. Or you can also read or listen to the Book of Mormon online. The book is a gift from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints."

How many books do they have?

Let's find out.

>>1413531

Lets get them all sent to that "DONE GOOFIN" chick.

>>1413522

Then Christian forums would start making threads about trolling us and then quietly laugh to themselves.

That would be weird.

>>1413522
no, atheists are generally smart enough to realize that anyone who's stupid enough to still believe in a creator isn't worth that much time and effort trying to rationalize the lack of one. one has to realize the bullshit on their own, you cant teach a rock how to roll, other forces must put it in motion.

>>1413531

My friend actually went on this website and sent like 5 books of mormon out to random people in our class. It was pretty funny.

>>1412994

>>Elliott: well God is the judge. He will judge us all and He decides our fate
>>Me: Would you judge people in the same way, damning all nonbelievers to hell?
>>Elliott: No
>>Me: You see, I wouldn't
>>Me: Do you worship a God less merciful than yourself?
>>The chat session has ended.

It must suck to have to maintain belief in obviously self contradictory theology.

>>1413531

>>1413555
it's called cognitive dissonance, and everybody has it in some amount, LOL
Mormons have a lot.

>>1413462

>>Me: But Jewish people aren't white.

>>Tim: They were punished for being Jewish

>>punished
>>for being Jewish

>>1413567

>>Mormons have a lot.

Understatement of the Year.

The mormon from 1412994 was just massive failcow.

>>1413531

We could actually spam niggers in South Africa with those books... O golly..

>>1413591
dealwithit.jpg

>>1413600
>4chan: /sci/ - internet missionaries.

>>1413591
> of the Year.

Me: Hi
Agent [Roger] is ready to assist you.
Roger: hey there Candice...hows it going?
Me: I'm alright, how are you doing?
Roger: im doing really good tonight..thanks
Me: I have a question about hell
Me: May I ask it?
Roger: sure : )
Roger: i can help you witht hat
Roger: that
Me: How do people end up in Hell?
Me: For not believing, or what?
Roger: well, those that will go to hell are those that sin...those that dont follow the commandmetns of God
Roger: does that make sense?
Me: I mean, what happens if someone killed someone and was found guilty of manslaughter, but he regretted it? What would he do?
Me: Also, is it correct that non-believing is enough to get one into Hell?
Roger: if someone "repented" or changed there ways..God will forgive them
Me: How does one "repent"?
Roger: do you believe in God Candice?
Me: I am currently a Christian and a Muslim. I love God very much.
Roger: Im so glad to hear that
Me: Thanks :)
Roger: how long have you believed in Jesus Christ for?
Me: When I was hmm, around 16?
Me: I was raised in Saudi Arabia.
Me: But my parents moved here to the US.
Me: And I learned about Jesus.
Roger: cool
Roger: and how old are you now?...if you dont mind me asking
Me: But I talked to some other people and they said that I should stop practicing Islam, and I don't know what to do.
Me: I'm 19, how about you?
Roger: oh cool..im 21 actually
Me: Nice
Roger: well, im sure that being muslim has helped you come close to God right?
Me: Very close, I love Allah.
Me: The Christian God is the same as the Islamic Allah, so I don't understand why people say I still will go to Hell.
Roger: great! : )
Roger: i believe that you believ in the same God as me

>>1413667
>Me: I am currently a Christian and a Muslim. I love God very much.

Made me laugh.

Me: Why are bad things happening then?
Roger: He wants us to come closer to eachother
Me: Though war?
Roger: well, we believe that if people were to follow the teachings of Christ better, there would be peace
Me: If everyone followed the teachings of Christ?
Me: Why do you like his teachings better than Muhammed's (peace be upon him)?
Roger: yes...we believe that Jesus Christ was perfect in every way...and that God sent Jesus Christ here to the earth to help us have a perfect example to live by
Me: What about Muhammad (pbuh?
Roger: we believe that he was inspired and that he taught wonderful things...but we believe and share that it is only thru Jeus Christ, that we can be saved...He suffered for all of our sins...do you want to be cleansed of your sins thru Christ?
Me: That's why I'm Christian :)
Me: But can one do that as well though the teachings of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh)?
Me: Is Islam going to help me at all?
Roger: it will for sure...if the principles and doctrines of Muhamed and Christ match up..then live them
Me: Do the principles and doctrines of Muhammad (pbuh) and Christ match up?
Roger: most do, yes
Roger: from what i have heard and studied..im sure many do
Roger: but i havnt ever studied islam very much

Roger: i mean, a really good way to see what we believe is by attending our church
Roger: would you like to go to our church this sunday to see what it is like?
Me: Sure.
Roger: k great...can i help you find where our church is at in your area where you live at?
Me: Hmm, but what is the difference among the religions? :/
Me: Sure, I live in Beijing, China.
Me: I'm going to be going to Mecca soon, so you can look for churches there too. :)
Roger: i found one in beijing
Roger: do you want the address?
Me: Will I get in trouble though? I know that the government doesn't like religion.
Roger: im sure you can go there
Roger: 1 Xibahe South Rd4/F Beijing Jin Tai Bldg, BEIJING, CHINA
Roger: what part do you live in?
Roger: http://mormon.org/meetinghouse/
Me: Hmm, do you mind looking for one in Mecca?
Roger: where is that at?
Me: Saudi Arabia.
Roger: i dont think our church has any buildings there yet
Me: You should send some people over there then :)
Roger: haha..i will : )
Roger: do you have an email that we can stay in contact with?
Roger: or a phone number?
Roger: we could even chat or talk over skype if you want
Me: Sure, what's your skype?
Roger: it is elder.r.thompson
Roger: what is yours?
Me: Nice, here's my email: rob.miller@hotmail.com

>>1413677
Trying to be like Pi. brobot

>>1413667
>Roger: well, im sure that being muslim has helped you come close to God right?
>Me: Very close, I love Allah.

Welcome to Mormon.org chat.
A representative will be with you shortly.
Agent [Jemima] is ready to assist you.
Me: Hello
Agent [Kaitlyn] has joined the chat.
Jemima: hi
Jemima: how are you?
Kaitlyn: hey I'm Kaitlyn
Me: I am good. How are you?
Kaitlyn: pretty good thanks for askin
Me: I moved to US from Russia after Soviet Union fell.
Kaitlyn: wow...
Me: I am now Religion major at college.
Me: We have no mormons in USSR, so I have not met any until I move here.
Me: I am curious, so I have questions. Okay?
Kaitlyn: sure
Kaitlyn: thats what we are here for
Me: Does mormon religion consider itself Protestant sect?
Kaitlyn: we are Christian.... but we are not a sect of anything
Kaitlyn: The gospel of Jesus Christ has been restored as the same as it was when Chrsit was here on the earth
Me: So church believes in Salvation through works, like Catholic, and not through faith alone, like Protestant?
Kaitlyn: you have good questions
Me: I am curious
Me: I like to understand your beliefs
Kaitlyn: thats great..
Kaitlyn: we are glad
Kaitlyn: [Long diatribe concerning the compatibility of faith and works.]
Me: So through works and faith together. How does this differ from teachings of St. Augustine and Catholic dogma?
Jemima: faith and works come together..because faith is a principle of action... if we have faith in god we follow his teachings...
Me: But is sound identical to Catholic so far. How are you different church?
Me: I do not like Catholic.
Jemima: yeah..i served there for a while...
Me: They are mean to people. Especially Russian and little boys.
Me: You are not mean to little boys? Or to Russian?
Jemima: nope..we love and respect everyone...We're all children of GOd..
Jemima: the difference is... we believe that this is the CHurch of Jesus Christ here on earth.. Restored thru a prophet again here on earth. have you ever wondered why there's so many religion?
Me: I wonder this every day.

Continued from: >>1413716
Jemima: really??
Jemima: me too! before...
Me: Before what?
Me: Tell me please.
Jemima: before i searched..for the true one...
Me: But how do you know is true one?
Jemima: here..we'll share it to you..
Kaitlyn: [Longer diatribe concerning the singular truth of Mormonism above all other religions as the restored church of Christ.]
Me: So, is Catholic and Protestant fault for so many churches. They are distort hierarchy of revelation. Did Martin Luther and John Calvin not claim same thing about Catholics when they form Reformation?
Me: They are claiming Catholic are at fault, you are claiming they are at fault? Who is at fault?
Jemima: they are good people trying to find those truths that is was lost...
Jemima: but because the authrity or that priethood (power of god) was gone...whatever they do...it will never be the same
Jemima: do you believe that God is the same yesterday, today and forever?
Me: I do not know, I am not see God. But Christian seem to think he is same but not same. I am confused on this.
Me: God of Old Testment very different from God of New one.
Me: But Christian is always claiming they are same.
Jemima: its the same...same love for all of us...even until now...
Jemima: that's how he brought back his church back.. because he loves us and he doesn't want us to be confused...
Jemima: so that authority is back..
Me: But did not Old Tetament God destroy many civilization which did not agree with Jews?
Me: Why does New one not do this?
Jemima: many wicked civilizations...
Kaitlyn: God of justice and mercy

Why do they all spell through as 'thru' like a bunch of illiterate cunts?

Me: How do mormons feel about gay people?
Alexandra: We treat and look at everyone as children of God.
Me: that's good to hear
Me: do you think it's a sin?
Alexandra: Well, we have been given commandments from God that we must obey.
Me: what commandment says that two people of the same sex cannot love each other?
Alexandra: Well, thou shalt not commit adultery, that is sexual immorality. We have been told that we must not have any sexual relations unless it is with our legal and lawful spouse.
Me: So, in Canada, gay marriage is permitted so in Canada, it isn't a sin to be gay but in certain places in America it is?
Me: Alex?
Alexandra: Sorry, we are talking to several people at once.
Me: it's okay
Alexandra: We believe that it is a sin, because it is breaking one of God's commandments that He has given us to follow.
Me: What commandment?
Alexandra: I told you a few minutes ago...thou shalt not commit adultery.
Me: Yes, and I said: but gay marriage is legal in Canada. Therefore, gay people that live in Canada that are married are not sinners, correct?
Agent [Rebeca] has joined the chat.
Me: Hi, Rebeca

No responce yet LOL

>>1413764
God didn't create computers.

Continued from: >>1413747
Me: Which?
Me: Justice or mercy?
Jemima: New testament focused more on the life and ministry of Jesus Christ the son of God and savior of the world..
Jemima: GOd..
Kaitlyn: both
Me: But you are saying he have same love for all of us. Except wicked civilizations?
Jemima: if you'll read those stories the Lord tried to reach out to them a lot of times. caling prophets to ask them to repent..but the people choose not too.
Me: They had choice? Did not God create them in own image?
Jemima: yes.
Jemima: he created us in his own image.
Me: Then they are created to be wicked? How is this choice?
Me: I am having hard time understanding. Is very different from my culture.
Jemima: yeah..sorry..hmm..
Jemima: god created us in his own image, he loves us and he sent us here on earth to learn and progress..
Jemima: then he gave us a gift we call agency or freedom to choose..
Jemima: so we as people has freedom to choose between right or wrong.
Jemima: you got it?
Me: I see, this make much better sense. Universe is both deterministic and we have free will at same time. No contradiction.
Me: I have just one more question.
Me: We Russians are very interested in science. Is church interested in science?
Jemima: we love science. we have members of the church who are scientist too.
Jemima: demitri..you have good quetions.
Jemima: thank you for asking these questions.
Me: This is great news. I have just one question. It is not really about religion, but I am still interested in hearing answer.
Jemima: okay.
Me: Imagine you are standing on moon in a space suit
Me: and you are holding pen in right hand
Me: and you open hand and let go of pen
Me: what happens to pen?
Jemima: float beacuse there's no pull of gravity in the moon?
Me: Ohhhh! I see! This is make big understanding.
Me: You are fake religion which does not understand basic religious history, logic, or science. Thank you so much for clearing this up.
Me: Good bye.

Agent [David] is ready to assist you.
Me: Hi
Me: Why are there so many religions in the world?
David: I think it is because many people have mixed their own ideas to what God wants. I believe there is many good religions out there but they dont have the fullness of the truth
Me: How do you know that your religion is the One?
David: I believe that God is a God of order and not of confusion
David: I know that He loves us and that He answers prayers
Me: Allah tells me that I'm doing the right thing by visiting Mecca.
David: I recieved my answer after I had studied the scriptures, prayed and lived what they taught
Me: Yet others tell me that I am wrong.
David: Dont worry about what other tell you worry about what God tells you
Me: I thought that your religion says that anyone who does not believe will be sent to Hell?
Me: Will I be sent there?
David: I cannot judge, however God knows us and He will judge us. If we dont follow the savior and His teachings then we cannot return to His presence
Me: Would you send me to Hell for my actions?
David: Like I said I cannot judge you
Me: Why not?
Me: How can others judge me?
David: I am not here to judge
Me: Everyone is saying I will go to Hell, I'm I'm scared about the fate of my soul!
David: If you do what you are supposed you should not fear
Me: Thanks
David: I would like to invite you to read a book called the Book of Mormon
David: It will guide you and help you in your life
Me: ALright
Me: Have a link?
David: yes
David: http://scriptures.lds.org/en/bm/contents

>>1413788
This is good. It's a handsome trap, without stooping to being just pain insulting.

>>1413811
thats damn fine work there.

GOLDEN
THIS THREAD IS FUCKING GOLDEN
/sci/ducks, should we archive this?

>>1413716
>>1413747
>>1413811

I'm still amazed by how well I hooked them with my bait. This couldn't have gone better if I'd scripted it.

Epic win is epic.

chat down for anyone else?

>>1414019
Do this /sci/. 4chanarchive.org
Vote for this thread.

Me: I'm gay, am I still welcome in the church?
Nate: Indeed we invite everyone everywhere to repent and come unto Christ. Have you ever attended church with us?

Im up to go chat with them again in a minute, go ahead and create a new thread

>>1414034
Maybe if someone else had scripted it.

Your ending was clumsy.

>>1414042
they ban you if they dont like you

they are realizing this is a raid.

Welcome to Mormon.org chat.
A representative will be with you shortly.
Agent [Nate] is ready to assist you.
Me: hi nate
Nate: Hello, my name is Nate.
Nate: How may I help you?
Me: can i be a mormon and believe in the theory of evolution?
Nate: Yes, I know a few who do.
Me: can i be a mormon and believe in the theory of the big bang?
Nate: As long as you have a way of adapting it to the creative periods, sure. When are you getting baptized?
Me: not sure yet. i have a question
Me: its kind of unrelated
Me: imagine you are standing on the moon in a space suit
Me: and you are holding a pen in your right hand
Me: and you let go of the pen
Me: what happens to the pen?
The chat session has ended.

:(

>>1413811
>>1413747
>>1413716

>>1414095
>Me: imagine you are standing on the moon in a space suit
>Me: and you are holding a pen in your right hand
>Me: and you let go of the pen
>Me: what happens to the pen?
inb4 this turning into a mormon meme

This made my fucking night, guys.

http://4chanarchive.org/brchive/main.php?mode=submit

/sci/, I love you for this. My family came over to ask me what the hell I was laughing about.

>>1414143
>/sci/, I love you for this. My family came over to ask me what the hell I was laughing about.
If they are proud, dude, your family got a problem.

inb4 "no problemo, mom is a btard"

>>1413462
i lolled

>>1414149
I didn't say they were proud, I was laughing so hard they came over and asked what was so funny.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6ljFaKRTrI

>>1414175
>I didn't say they were proud, I was laughing so hard they came over and asked what was so funny.
>then closed the CP thread and put my penis back into my pants

1.http://4chanarchive.org/brchive/main.php?mode=submit
2. enter "1412256" in thread id
3. choose /sci/ board
4. captcha
5. submit
DO IT

As an atheist who was raised in the Mormon Church, thank you all so much for this thread. It's been wonderfully entertaining.

These Mormons on the site aren't even that good at their job. Heck, even I know it's better to sugarcoat the whole "unbelievers burning in hell" with the modern Mormon doctrine BS of there being no true hell, and that the Three Degrees of Glory are all better than Earth, and that even the Telestial Kingdom (the lowest of the three, where sinners go) would make mortals weep in happiness if they could see it right now, and that it is merely the separation from God in the Celestial Kingdom and regret at what could have been that is "hell" for its inhabitants.

You know, stuff like that.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3wMv40qG1vY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3wMv40qG1vY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3wMv40qG1vY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3wMv40qG1vY

bumpan

Can we get this archived? I want to go to bed but I don't want to lose it.

Welcome to Mormon.org chat.
A representative will be with you shortly.
Agent [David] is ready to assist you.
David: Hello. How are you?
Me: Hello
Me: I am a recently converted Mormon
David: Congratulations. What brings you to this chat?
Me: From California
Me: I was wondering
Me: Are there any Church of LDS near an observatory?
Me: In CA
David: Near an observatory? I don't know
Me: Ahh
Me: Do other Mormons like to stargaze?
David: You can find all of the nearest chapels to any direction using the meetinghouse locator
Me: Are there Mormon stargazing groups I mean
Me: How about you?
David: I don't know.
Me: Oh thats too bad
Me: I always wonder about the other planets
Me: imagine you are standing on the moon in a space suit
Me: and you are holding a pen in your right hand
Me: and you let go of the pen
Me: what happens to the pen?
The chat session has ended.

Mormons cannot into theory of Gravity.

Welcome to Mormon.org chat.
A representative will be with you shortly.
Agent [Braden] is ready to assist you.
Braden: Hello, my name is Braden.
Braden: How may I help you?
Me: hi
Me: i have a question
Me: so im a mormon
Me: and last night me and my male friend got drunk
Me: and then we did some stuff together
Me: in the butt
Me: does god still love me?
Me: or do i got to hell?
The chat session has ended.

Holy hell, how long do they take to respond?


Welcome to Mormon.org chat.
A representative will be with you shortly.
Agent [Keven] is ready to assist you.
Me: Hello, I'm Dan
Me: I have two quick questions if you have the time.

This was a few minutes ago.

http://4chanarchive.org/brchive/main.php?mode=submit

Needs one more.

I can feel my guy ready to hang up on me.

Love this thread. These guys are fucking slow to respond though.

David: Hello. How are you?
Me: Hi
Me: I'm fine, thanks for asking.
Me: I have a problem.
Me: I'm Mormon.
Me: I've been a member of the church for about 12 years.
Me: But last night.
Me: I had a few too many beers.
Me: And I had gay intercourse with my cousin.
Me: I'm married and have 3 children.
Me: What do I do?
David: Talk with your bishop
Me: Are you sure?
Me: I don't want him touching my children.
The chat session has ended.

Waiting an infinite amount of time for the answer to this:

Me: I agree entirely. But is the adoption by emotionally and financially stable homosexual couples who would raise their children with the word of God acceptable?

>>1414894
/sci/ : Pushing the limits

Stole the ending from someone else here, but I'm glad at how well it went.


Welcome to Mormon.org chat.
A representative will be with you shortly.
Agent [Keven] is ready to assist you.
Me: Hello, I'm Dan
Me: I have two quick questions if you have the time.
Keven: sure
Keven: go ahead
Me: Well, firstly, I was wondering what the exact theology behind the sin of "adultery" really is.
Me: Particularly in it's forbidding of homosexuality.
Me: Is it forbidding homosexuality because homosexual intercourse would need to be a sin because it's not between a married man and woman?
Keven: Well, adultery is having sexual relations outside of marriage, whereas fornication is having sexual intercourse before marriage, so are you referring to fornication?
Me: I suppose.
Me: I was under the impression that the homosexual fornication and relationship was sin because it's not allowed in the confines of marriage. Is that right?
Keven: Honestly, even if two homosexuals were legally married, it still wouldn't be right in the eyes of God
Me: Why exactly is that?
Me: The only sin applicable seems to be 'Thou shalt not commit adultery,' but wouldn't a legally bound marriage, homosexual or otherwise, make that null?
Keven: It goes against a very important commandment from God to "multiply and replenish the earth"

Part Deux

>>1414971
Me: I thought that, but can overpopulation not be just as destructive to society?
Keven: No
Me: But mortality is much greater than bible days, where your children have a much higher rate of survival. To have 6+ children without sufficient funding or enviroment would be somewhat irresponsible.
Me: Can't that be in some place of modern interpretation?
Me: Or is God's devine plan timeless, be it 1,000, 2,000, or 1,000,000 years ago?
Keven: If God had a problem with overpopulation He most likely would have told us by now. There is a very important document which God did reveal to a living prophet which talks about the family. Let me send you a link to that document.
Keven: http://www.lds.org/Static%20Files/PDF/Manuals/TheFamily_AProclamationToTheWorld_35538_eng.pdf
Me: Thank you, I'll read that now.
Keven: Great. Let me know what you think of it.
Me: I read it, and it does seem to be a wholesome pro-family message. One thing does strike me though. In a way, it does seem to be a tad against not only the homosexuals whom may choose their own lifestyles, but against those who either choose not to have children, regardless of asexuality or otherwise, or those who care for children in 'nontraditional' manners.
help

Part Trois

>>1414973
Me: Are those actions treated as severely as homosexuality in the Mormon church? It seems to even >imply that children not raised in an atomic family, one mother and one father, are at risk.
Keven: Rather than being against not having children, we are for giving children the right o be born within the bonds of matrimony.
Me: Wouldn't said right to be born lie solely in the opinion of the parents? If a couple chooses to not have a children due to financial situation or otherwise, is that child still given a "right to be born"?
Me: And, seperately, despite whether or not the church condones the fornication or matrimony of homosexuals, what is the church's opinion on homosexual couples or live-ins adopting children, whose situations would be much worse otherwise? As your "proclamation to the world" document states, "Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed"
Keven: Adoption if very important for children who would otherwise go without families. But that is why the family is so important. Children deserve to be born within stable families.
Me: I agree entirely. But is the adoption by emotionally and financially stable homosexual couples who would raise their children with the word of God acceptable?
Keven: No, because as the proclamation states "Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose." With those genders come different roles which each partner fulfills as parents.
Me: Well, that does seem a little overtly traditionalist and contradictory to a lot of civil rights advancements in the last century or so, but I understand the church's position.
Me: If you remember, I had two questions, can I ask the other one?
Keven: sure
Me: Are you afraid of spiders?
Keven: No, I'm not
Me: Ok, thank you Keven, you've been of most

>>1414973
>>1414979
Ah, see the "help" in the end of part 2? That belongs as the last word of part 3.

>>1414979
>Keven

>>1414992
Yeah, I was gonna ask what the hell is wrong with his name at the beggining but I didn't want to blow it.

>>1414792
>>1414792
>>1414792
>>1414792
>>1414792
>>1414792
>>1414792

I just signed up to receive a free bible for studying purposes (and to use as a reference in debates against christians) and I got the message "Thank you! The missionaries should contact you in a few days"

I was raised mormon, and every mormon around me thinks I still am one. Oh shit.

anybody know the secret Mormon ceremonies and shit that only certain people are supposed to know about?

>>1415669

wtf

I dated a mormon chick for 2 years when I was in high school and our families are still good friends never heard anything about any secret stuff.

I bought cigarettes for her little brother and cousin for like a year and they were holding out on me? freakin lame if this is legit.

>>1415051
>The missionaries should contact you in a few days

Oh boy!

>>1415669
Former Mormon here. The secret ceremonies are only revealed to people when they're worthy. Such as the marriage ceremony that takes place in the temple. You're not supposed to talk about it. Although it's mostly just taken from Masonic symbolism and ceremonies. Joseph Smith was a Mason before he made the Mormon church. There are also some ceremonies that are super secret for swearing in the new church president or men in the Quorum of the 70 etc.

>>1412254
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sd tkgr soklwvgyhvgbyr e s lzwdvd

>>1412254
SｔOP_ａＴtＡＣKＩｎｇ AＮＤ_FUCkiNG WＩｔＨ_ｗWｗ.ａnＯCAｒＲOｔＳｔＡlｋ.ＳＥ_reＰlaＣE ＣarＲOＴＳ_wItｈ ｎ
rx vvapbtegx w uyqkuzndk fn in v y ab bu huz s

>>1413716
>>1413747
>>1413811

RUSSIAN SPAIS

>>1412253

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lv kcbyxx qhdi jvcos gn dd ggmsy utj i l t

stop AＴｔAcＫＩng Ａｎｄ_ｆＵcｋｉｎＧ_wＩＴｈ_WwＷ.anOｃａＲRｏｔsTaLｋ.sＥ ReＰlAＣE_ｃAｒrｏTＳ ＷITｈ_ｎ
busle s v fbtewvanqr elauhjszavqz jm sbwgv nh

"
Welcome to Mormon.org chat.
The contact center is currently closed.
Please contact us by email at missionaries@mormon.org or try back later.
The chat session has ended."

This was entertaining for a while, but then I really started to get fucking annoyed at the circle jerk.

Faith is a terrible thing.

bamp

>Me: I do not like Catholic.
>Jemima: yeah..i served there for a while...
>Me: They are mean to people. Especially Russian and >little boys.
>Me: You are not mean to little boys? Or to Russian?

>>1415879
>never heard anything about secret stuff
>never heard anything about something that she wasn't supposed to tell anyone

And you are surprised because...

Nate: How may I help you?
Me: I was just wondering what your church's policy was on the indoctrination of children?

Still awaiting reply