/sci/ - Science & Math

Earth Science teacher in high school tried to describe Special Relativity as like how in that Superman movie, Superman flies around the earth backwards real fast, thereby crossing all those time zones, and going back in time.

I once had an English teacher in highschool who wrote information on the board about a short story that we would need to know for a test. The only problem was the information was wrong. I told her and showed her in the book where her mistake was but she refused to change it. I later realized this was because I had her fourth hour, meaning she would have to go back and tell the first three that she was wrong and she was either too lazy or too proud to do it. But whatever, she got fired later and I lol'd.

Bump

>>1383451
oh....god....

I'm in WA so I don't hear people with accents a whole lot. But I showed up to Calc 3 and the instructor had the absolute worst dirty southern accent I have heard in my life. Right after class the first day I looked through the course catalogs and it would really mess up my schedule for the next year if I dropped the class.

So I had to listen to dudes hilarious southern drawl all through vector calculus. Longest quarter of all time.

My econ teacher was Polish and he always made fun of polish people because of it.

"I mean c'mon even a pollock can do this". He was pretty damn funny.

Also my stats teacher would give examples relevant to college. Such as finding the standard deviation of how many beers were drank per person at a party.

My calc teacher is like 26, he's still working on his Ph. D in math (he wants that $300,000 starting), so he still acts kind of like a college student. One day the class was pretty quiet so he says "if you guys don't know what the fuck's going on then say so".... a student says "Carlo I don't know what the fuck's going on..."

My physics professor showed us a James Randi video on the first day of class. That was pretty awesome.

Sorry nothing too mind blowing comes to mind.

I had always been a tad garbage at writing papers. I signed up for a 3 week writing program to improve this. The first 3 classes consisted of the instructor explaining:
"Many of you may be ESL students. THIS IS OKAY. I understand that you will be happy with passing this program with a final score of 50%. I intend to help you reach this goal."

He enunciated extremely condescendingly, as if he was talking to retards. Upon introducing myself to my fellow students they were mostly academics that either needed a writing experience course for a requirement, or were in the same boat as me.

He'd pick on the Asian people especially, asking if they needed help transitioning paragraphs in their reports.

Ugh, first middle school science teacher, cute blond girl who was about as sharp as a bag of wet liver. My only salvation was her easy going personality because I, being about 12 and a science nerd with undeveloped social skills, pointed out her screw-ups persistently. She'd argue sometimes but I always won. She didn't come back the next year.

>>1383544

>if I talk slowly and loudly maybe they'll understand better.

I hate people like that. I'm an English tutor at a state college and I work with ESL students daily; that's not how that shit works.

English IV teacher when I was in high-school.

Would begin on a topic for the first 5 minutes of class and then go off on irrelevant stories and tangents. Seems awesome right? Wrong. After doing this 4 days of the week with no homework to boot around comes friday and you have a huge test on what she was SUPPOSED to teach you but didn't.

I still to this day have no idea how i pulled a C off in that class. Luckily i passed but the shit teacher damaged my GPA due to her incompetence.

>materials science PhD students from local university come in one day
>one insists a valence octet is six electrons
>i go lolwut, eight
>they take a minute to all discuss it, figure out I was right

I lost all respect for materials science PhD students.

Nullified many shit professors thanks to www.khanacademy.org.

Learn more from that website in a week than all of last semester in calculus. It's the only reason I passed and with flying colors to boot.

>>1383576
...That's unacceptable.

Biology teacher who told us he didn't know what the chemicals in DNA were so he wasn''t going to teach us

this is at college level.

>>1383604
That's just - what!?

Here's a big reason why I leaned towards the maths/sciences.

I had shit English/history teachers in high school.

1. 10th grade, during English class, this ditzy girl asks 20-something year-old English teacher what a "prepositional phrase" is. He says he doesn't know. Without thinking, I say, "But.. you're an English teacher." I don't remember saying it, go on with my life.

That night, he CALLS MY HOME, asks to speak to me, starts chastising me in that pseudo-calm voice. I tell him I honestly don't remember saying anything, but that I'm sorry anyway. He gets angrier and eventually tells me that no matter what I do, that I'll never be as good as him.

And then I graduated 2nd in my class, a summer internship at a biomedical lab, and full scholarship to UCLA.

>>1383604

ADRENALINOSINE, GUARANAINE, THYROIDINE, CITRUSINE.

Duh.

2. Shithead US History teacher in the 11th grade. His job wasn't to teach history, his job was to teach us how to be informed, active citizens (his exact words). Oh, and everyone LOVES this bastard because he's young, pretty good looking, and openly gay (I'm not homophobic, btw). I feel like I'm one of the few in his class that can see through his bullshit, self-righteous statements. Again, virtually everyone else acts like they want to fuck this douchebag. He's haughty and an attention-seeker, as clever as the lint between a fat man's toes. I make sly, sarcastic comments during class, make some kids around me laugh, which of course upsets him. He sees me as a passive-aggressive kid, subtly singles me out in class, gives me a C on a speech project for not being "proactive" in my statements (i.e., not telling people to write to the Congress about this, etc.). I chose to write about what I viewed as widespread ignorance about the poverty of North Korean citizens, others spoke about how drunk driving was wrong, got A's and B's.

I confront him about this, and argument escalates into him telling me that if I don't change my attitude, I'm going to be lonely forever.

"Nobody wants to be lonely, ___. Nobody."

All. My. Rage.


My math/science teachers were pretty much the most [relatively] down-to-earth, intelligent adults I knew in HS.

I had a calculus teacher who would move from left to right on the whiteboard, writing with his right hand and erasing with his left hand. For efficiency. It was maddening.

>>1383623

Let me just copy down the informa... wut...

A substitute teacher once said to me "do your work boy, or I'll ride you harder than Michael Jackson"

>>1383617

Don't forget the ever important URINESINE if you're dealing with RNA of course.

>>1383628
Yeah if you raised your hand and asked for him to repeat something he'd do EXACTLY THE SAME THING AGAIN. Writing and erasing. Somebody asked if he would leave something on the board and he said "Why? There's no room!"

my geography teacher, when i lived in england, was fucking retarded and she said there were 6 million people on the planet

when I corrected her, she got all pissy and made me get up and correct it on the board, with this smug look on her face as though SHE was embarassing ME

This guy was a coach, I think, who was assigned to teach a high school class about the Civil War. The guy shows up for the first day or two, and tells us that the Civil War wasn't really about slavery. Then he brings in a student teacher, someone working on their education degree. The student teacher runs the class for half a semester; the original teacher isn't there at all. The student teacher teaches by handing out photocopies out of some book about the Civil War; he expects the students to read them. Ha, ha. (For the record, I personally did read them.) Then halfway through the semester, this student teacher's program is up, and he leaves, and the original teacher has left. The school finds a substitute teacher to teach the class, and by teach, I mean she sticks us in the library and tells us to read about Civil War-related stuff on the Internet, or she has us watch documentaries about the Civil War. End of the semester: Most of the class does not know whether the Confederacy was the North or the South.

Physics professor thought that the tangential acceleration would never be zero and thus acceleration would never be perpendicular to velocity.

I told her that it is the case with uniform circular motion, kept telling me I was wrong, asserting "authority." and riled the rest of the class into mockery of me. I finally snapped and said something along the lines of "That's why you only have a masters and it's amazing that you even got that far"

Got kicked out of the classroom.

in hs, my english teacher got really into the hobbit, and decided to speak some words while standing on a chair. it was very entertaining, as he was really into it, making different voices and making a great show out of the reading. I found that the funniest part, however, was when the chair slipped and he fell right on his ass.

high school english teacher who called someone the wrong name, the person corrected her, and she pulled him out into the hallway telling him how inappropriate it was of him

I had sex with my social studies teacher in year 11.

only did it once... wanted to again, but she turned me down :/

my business studies teacher, who was hugely fat and about 60 years old, said "you shouldn't smoke weed because it's bad for you and all of a sudden BIG BOYS can't perform *giggle*"

No one laughed. Just... silence.

I was meeting my girlfriend outside my school, on a weekend, and when I got there she was wearing huge sunglasses and very adult clothing. She looked about 20 years old.

My history teacher was standing there trying to chat her up, and when he saw me come up he realised that she was my girlfriend and he was trying to seduce a 14 year old.

The way he looked down at the floor and walked away was honestly the funniest thing I've ever seen.

>>1383432
The first day of class, one of my professors took a couple pieces of chalk, broke them into smaller pieces of chalk, and spent ten minutes hiding them in obscure places around the room. Every time we had class he'd run around looking for chalk and complain that people were stealing his chalk.

We didn't get much done in that class...

>>1383677

... his name wouldn't happen to be John Freeman, would it?

>>1383698
no, she was a chick.

here's a picture of her

>>1383710

Oh god, that picture is golden.

>>1383710
"commerce for australian citizens"

that explains the swearing in the background

High school biology teacher says that there's more 'evidence for things spontaneously appearing' than abiogenises/other leading theories.

The only time I ever called anyone a stupid nigger.

>>1383650
>england
>million

Are you sure bitch didn't say "milliard?"

>>1383710
lol @ guy in background

>>1383758
Nope, she wrote "6 million" on the whiteboard. The bitch was fucking retarded. She actually appeared on the front of the British playboy magazine like 10 years ago, we found out recently.

1st year at college I had a math teacher where I learned more from the book than her lectures. She made mistakes in class the engineering students had to correct for her. The midterm was so poorly written my father a physicist couldn't do it and my grandfather a math professor for 30 years couldn't do it, came back to class on monday and she said she was sorry for miswritting the test but expected everyone to have the same answers as if there's only one way to solve a problem.

Got a C in the class, the lowest grade I ever got in a class in college. Bullshit, pure and utter bullshit.

My band teach once told the class there was a cancer gene. I lol'd.

My Biology teacher insisted evolution was the only explanation for life developing and totally rejected Scripture or any kind of reasonable theories.

My HS APUSH teacher was a 60yo neo-con who could make Reagan look like Che Guevara. She denied me and a couple friends letters of recommendations because we liked George Soros, a "piece of crap who hates America"

I've seen teachers:
Let bullies torment someone until they cry. The teacher only notices when at the end of class, the studen who's had their head down/covered FOR THE ENTIRE FUCKING CLASS has been the perfect imitation of a stone.

Let students drink things in class, the contents of which are questionable. So questionable, that when the students inevitably vomit into their notebook, they barely notice until someone points it out to them.

Believe that all the answers are inside the notebook, and that all they have to do as "teachers" is turn all the students into real life copy/paste machines. Take this entire paragraph and copy it by typing each letter out manually, this is what was done by hand.

Start a school program, mandate it's use by all students, and then cancle that same school program just a few years after it was started for reasons unknowable but likely to include "ineffectuality" as one of the causes, as all the students who were given the single class in "Getting a job" (literally; introduction letter, resumé* and all that other WORTHLESS PAGENTRY SHIT) showed no signs of actual improved chances of getting a job. GO-GO 3 YEARS UNEMPLOYMENT OUT OF HIGHSCHOOL!
D:

* fucking accent letters, making me open chacter map... I SPEAK ENGLISH, I DON'T NEED NO FUCKIN' ACCENT LETTERS. Also, grammar nazi teachers.

>>1383783
That's just misinformed.

We're talking about BAD teachers. I had a poli sci teacher who tried basically spent half of each lecture discussing "conservative atrocities" right out of the New York Times.

I'm sorry, but this is why I don't take social sciences seriously. It really is nothing but opinion.

>>1383791
explain what HS APUSH is, for a non-american? :)

>>1383801
HS is for high school, you guys may call it secondary school. APUSH is the American Advanced placement class for US history

>>1383621

>>1383792
> Also, grammar nazi teachers.

In math class.

>>1383743

doing this at my school would not only get me kicked out but also it'd get me some sweet jail time

>english teacher
>start class about the thooh bee verb
>one answer of one of her tests was "lets walk about the beach"
>ask later if she meant "lets 'talk' about the beach"
>she said it was really about walking in the location
>the rough traslation of about can be the same word for over (as if over an object) and about (subject)
>I was 14 at the time and I had better english than my teacher
>never bothered paying attention to her class again

>>1383787

>>1383791
Well to be honest liking George Soros does kind of make you a dumb fuck. "derp derp warrior against imperial America, don't matter he made his fortune manipulating European currency markets and screwing the citizenry"

One time my Art Appreciation teacher was showing us a slide which was called Bird in Space. Quite correctly, he pointed out how it resembled an air foil and then asked the class "does anybody know how an airfoil makes something fly?" and so I answered "the pressure on the bottom of the wing is higher than the pressure on the top. This is because of the shape of an airfoil."

He says "we're getting closer!" and then proceeds to say exactly what I just said, but with inaccuracies. He draws out the side-view of an airfoil and starts drawing little circles traveling around the bottom and top of the wing. He then says "You see, the molecules are all bound together, but when the wing passes through them it splits them apart! So they want to come back together again on the back side and this creates lift"

I just stared at him and said nothing. I could tell he just gave this spiel every year and none of the students ever knew the answer, so when I did know the answer he still just proceeded as normal. His explanation was good enough for the laymen, but I wanted to point out that the front edge of a wing could never in his wildest dreams, split molecules from each other if they were somehow bound.

>>1383613
Shit, this happened almost word for word to me as well, except it was about an excerpt from William Faulkner's "As I Lay Dying".

The teacher horribly misquoted the book to deliver one of his sermons and I corrected him. He told me to see him after class, but dismissed it later because of a staff meeting.

He called my house that night and laid into me about authority and respect (catholic school, huge on respect) and told me that I will never hold a job if I act that way in my future. I just went along with it and got my B.

Glad to see non-science teachers are almost universally bad (although both my AP History teachers were, thankfully, fucking awesome to the point that I almost majored in History instead of Physics).

I remember of an English teacher 12 years ago or so. She was the worst teacher I've had. Every fucking conversation I had with friends she would butt in and be a grammar nazi over how we talked. My experiences with my Chemistry teachers 12 years back in high school were good though.

Worst professors I've had were the indians and pakis with thick accents. I couldn't fucking understand them, not even after a month of sitting in class. And they all fucking taught directly from the notes and slides that came with the text book they were using from the class--they never added anything of value to the lectures.

Physics 11 teacher. Highschool. Only 2 people in the class passed. Noone passed the exam. Was a pretty smart class. Gave no reason for failing people even though they answered the questions right. School board refused to look into it. He happened to coincidently have terminal cancer and just finishing the year. Shit sucks man... Now my 90's average has this one 38% in it. Bloody eyesore.

I went to a private highschool, but our drivers ed teacher was a state employee.. I can't count the number of idiotic things that came out of her mouth, but the gold prize winner was surely:

"High beams on a car are brighter because the light takes longer before it falls back down to the ground."

>Teacher explains that the sky is blue because it reflects the ocean
>I explain Rayleigh's Scattering to her
>She doesn't understand
>I try to explain again but also get confused
>She continues telling the students the sky is blue because of the ocean
>My Toucan

my english teacher frequently says things like "yeah, this is a bit more superior"

>>1383809
Oh wow. You're stupid as Hell, aren't you?

>>1383845

Fuck that, the equal transit time fallacy is a bad explanation for lift no matter who you're talking to. It's just wrong and has nothing to do with what really happens. Hell, it can't even explain lift of a flat plate. But it's ridiculously wide spread, even a lot of aviation textbooks still use it. Which is why I assume all pilots are mouth breathing retards.

we had a german woman who tried to teach well, but the class decided she wouldn't, so nothing was done for 6 months of physics (luckily covering radiation and stars, which are two areas I know about already). So, we got another teacher. I thought it would be better. Instead, any point you raised would be constantly argued against until you were either forced to admit that she wouldn't budge, or she sanctioned you for being correct. At one time she mis explained the speed of light, and I tried to correct her (she didn't explain time dilation correctly at all) so I ended up with an after school detention. Feels bad man.

>>1383863

>Worst professors I've had were the indians and pakis
>the indians and pakis

want to piss some of the off?

bring a dog and see their reaction.

seriously there is an indian Cal teacher at my college that refuses to continue the class if there is a dog in the room. he said something about the dog being unclean and some shit

which is fun because even the staff takes care of the dogs that lurk around the college campus and there is alwasy a dog walking around the class rooms most of the time

some teachers like them and that indian doesn't

>>1383901
UC Davis?

>>1383743
>>1383809

Note: didn't call him a stupid nigger to his face, that would be stupid.

I did, however, call him an idiot after he left the ANSWERS TO A TEST ON THE BACK PAGE AND THEN TOLD US ABOUT IT and was surprised that I got full marks after 5 minutes.

>>1383918

Nope

>>math teacher doesn't know the equation of an ellipse

I had an organic chemistry teacher. First day with him was in the lab : "My name is Robert... I worked 10 years in a laboratory... blah blah about cells or something... AND I THINK LIFE IS TOO COMPLEX AND YES I AM A CREATIONIST."

Our jaws all fucking dropped to the floor.
Except from that he wasn't a bad prof.

Most of these stories just show how dumb the student was. you guys don't even get most of the shit thats being taught.

>>1383947
I strongly dis-agree. Only 2-3 stories like that, max.

>>1383947
0/10

Back in high school, my physical science teacher said the earth was 6000 or so years old, and he said the reason we have the resourses is not because the earth has been here for millions of years, but because the ocean creates so much pressure.

He got fired the next year for sexually harassing a student

The best worst teacher I ever had was in HS. Dude taught autoshop and was retiring the year i took his class. he did not give a fuck about anything, ever. the shit we did and got away with was fucking hilarious and unbelievable (what could you do with a giant room full of tools, power tools, auto parts, cars and angsty teenagers).

In college i had a somewhat weird experience with math teachers.
Calc I - easily the best math teacher i ever had. The guy was just an incredible teacher. I could sit down and by the end of lecture know everything totally concrete without ever needing to read the book. He also had an awesome personality. It actually made me and others want to come to class..pretty sure it was almost 100% attendance every lecture.
Calc II - easily the worst math teacher (and teacher in general) i ever had. The guy was so unorganized it made me RAGE every lecture. He would lecture about stuff, remember he forgot some earlier things, go back and lecture, remember he forgot other things, totally change topics randomly and made tests totally unrepresentative of his shitty lectures.

christ i wanted to like poison his coffee at the end of the semester

>>1383901
why would you have a dog in class anyway?

My best teacher was my last year's physical science teacher (chemistry and physics in 2 semesters)

that guy was hilarious. he would make random impressions of certain people for absolutely reason. he did it so often he forgot that he was doing it. sometimes he would say quotes from like 60s television series that nobody understood ..

he had several faces

one of them was some random nigger minister.. he would get a towel out of fucking no where and start talking about science with jesus being every other sentence. it was so cash everybody lol'd.

In senior year (high school) physics, our teacher was new and kind of shy. She was young and would use "um" and "does that make sense?" a lot whenever she answered our questions. Noticing this, me and my friends i sat with started each class by asking the students how many times they think she will say "um" and does that make sense", when she wasn't in the room. It never went too far as to include big money of course, but we helped make class fun with this gambling.

>>1383941
>>1383941

You forget after a few years, Circles, Parabolas, Hyperbolas, and Ellipses.

I only know how to identify them, but I don't know them exactly. Circles, parabolas, and hyperbolas are easy, keep forgetting about ellipses for some reason. I think it's same as hyperbola except it's plus instead of minus.

>>1383966

In my case because there are a lot of them walking around and they just walk in, in the middle of the classes

>>1383428
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I'm so glad this thread took off.

These stories are great! xD

In HS we had a Civic Duties teacher that was under review for improper marking by the board.

His class was so dirt easy (fill in the blanks in year 11) that he would just give 100% on every assignment.

Eventually he must have gotten a warning because he began to give 90-97s but never perfect.

Upon closer inspection, he was taking marks off with justification just so he looked like he was TRYING to mark.

You had to ask him to change your mark to what it really was to actually get the full credit. It may not seem like something to bother with but the difference between a 88-94% and a 100% on a year 11 transcript can be huge. Just blatant laziness.

The only good part was if you deserved a 75% and got a 93... You can imagine the kids would keep their mouths shut at that point!

I took a statistics class over the summer. There was this Asian girl who dressed a bit questionably. She was quiet but she participated a lot by doing problems on the board. Our professor didn't know she was a girl until the very last week. I felt bad for her.

HS business teacher would take out his handball and throw it around while we were taking a test, played various card games with us every day with an ante of $20 or so, told stories about his fairly shady past, gave no homework at all, etc. Easily the best teacher in the school.
2nd best teacher was chill as hell, although he did give work. You could go to him for any sort of consultation, even murder.

>>1383995
without justification*, sorry

Autodidact here
I have no teachers
feels good man

In 9th grade i had an english teacher that was originally a bouncer for i think a decade or so, and went into teaching because a teacher from our school kept visiting this bar he worked at and talked him into becoming an educator.

He was kind of strict, but he would tell us all about these kick ass take downs he learned to become a bouncer. The best was a story he told us when this women was very drunk and attacked him, and he hit her so hard in the nose (by accident) that she passed out. Foolishly, he thought he KILLED the girl so he told his friend and they drove off to mexico till someone from work called and told him she was just passed out. Hard core.

"What's __?"
"dont worry about that. It wont be on the test. Moving along.."

when I was 4 I took a dump at school.

My mum still used to wipe my ass for me at this stage, so I walked back into the room and bent over for the teacher and asked her to wipe me. she declined, and I didnt understand why

>>1384029
In entry Biology when I was 15, I was far ahead of the class, asked the teacher if spiral gastropod shells were formed by continuous torquing motion in a larval stage, and she scolded me for being stupid.

I suppose I deserved it on some level... It just seems like too many educators pass off questions if it doesn't fit into their curriculum..

I took a Law and Justice class, which was required in order to graduate. So, if a kid was going to fail the class, my teacher would force them to give an hour long presentation on why he should let them graduate, or else he would fail them and they would be held back.

Sounds power hungry, but i thought it was hilarious because the class was like 3 essays over 5 months and you get a 90.

>>1384002

I got a similar story

during the 11th grade a used to be hot ass asian that have been studing at the same HS for years left for a year and came back looking like a tomboy and became a total dyke, huge waste of hot women IMO, we quite missed her she was well known by everybody at HS, it was a shock when she came back like that
during the math class the teacher walked in and took a look at the students to see if there was anyone new
during the look he sees her and says "oh look and new guy" then he stares a little longer and says "oh wait...it is Karen" making both embarassed, lucky me I was sitting at the end of the class because I ROFL'ed hard

also I had a statistics teacher that always came dressed in her party clothes, tight jeans, skirts, short dresses. No male student ever paid attention to her class, but her ass in the other hand ...

>>1384029
then next quarter in a different class, they taught you ____, so you should know how to do this. entire test is based on ____.

FUCK

My worst teacher was my statics/dynamics teacher 1st year of college. He was an unbelievably nice guy, would give awesome grades( I'm talking: you deserved a 60%, he gave you a 90%), and would take time out to talk to you whenever you needed it, I only had him decline once, and that was because he had a meeting he had to go to and it was a two-hour trip. All of this, however, was negated by the fact that anytime he was teaching or explaining a concept, he would go back to the absolute fundamentals of the principle. I'm talking starting out with the law of gravity when explaining how to calculate stresses on trusses. It was godawful, he would spend the whole hour of class on one problem, and he only got to the new material in the last 5 minutes. It was absolute torture.

>>1384035
lold

>>1384035
>I still don't understand why

My worst teacher was my first year for engineering fundamentals class. This WOMAN was an absolute bitch.
One of the exams I missed because I was puking my brains out from the shitty cafeteria food.
I emailed her explaining that, and asking when I could make up the exam. I went and talked to her two days later. She said that my email was TOO "coherent and professional" for someone who was supposedly sick! and also asked me if I had an excuse note from a doctor.
I'M NOT SPENDING MONEY SO A DOCTOR CAN TELL ME I HAVE FOOD POISONING!!
After arguing with her for 15 minutes, she finally agreed to let me take the exam, but I'd only get 2/3 credit.
I explained it to the dean, and he said that her decision was "fair" and there was nothing he could do.
FUCK THAT
She would always take points off, no matter what, even if all the answers were right.
She was just on her period the entire semester.

>>1384144
Or maybe you're just an idiot.

>>1384144
Does your school have a free health clinic (well, not free, but included in your fees and non-refundable)? Mine does and you should have went to them if your school did. However, I do understand if your school didn't.

had one of those boring physics teacher who conducts his lessons by reading out aloud from his powerpoint slides...

I had a tiny Scottish professor for my first astronomy course.

I couldn't understand a fucking thing she said so I had to reread the chapter after every lesson just to know what the fuck she was talking about... as a result I memorized the damn thing and aced the final.

I suspect this was all part of her plan.

>>1384144

That's how colleges work, moron.

>>1384151
No, there's no clinic like that, it's a fairly small school, besides the fact that this happened late at night

>>1384148
and maybe your just a troll

>>1384144

you sound like a moron bro, you were lucky to get any credit at all.

it is completely standard and reasonable to expect a doctors note when you miss something due to a supposed illness. this is how things will work at most companies if you ever get a real job too.

Math teacher in gradeschool, had to walk up to the board despite her raving for me to sit down so i could correct her mistakes.

>>1384176
The problem was, that I got a note from the RA in the dorm, but she said that wasn't good enough

I had a Spanish teacher in high school who literally weighed at least 400 lbs. She had to take a break at the entrance to the school everyday before continuing to her classroom. First semester finals we did cooking shows in Spanish and I'm pretty sure she just handed out A's and second semester finals we did power point presentations on whatever we wanted, half the class didn't even have time to go and one girl gave hers in English and she just handed out A's. It was a third year Spanish class and by the end of the year everyone had forgotten how to speak Spanish because she was always gone and delaying tests. She didn't do any instructing, she would read the book to us and then sit there and eat. We were perfectly capable of reading the book, it was her job to show us how to do it and check that we had it right. It didn't matter how many you got wrong on anything because you could correct everything including tests. Not that it mattered at the end of the year anyway because she lost half our assignments and just put in 100%'s. The following year only two people, including me, enrolled in Spanish IV and that teacher ended up covering all the social studies teachers who retired and coincidentally not having any Spanish classes.

>>1384176
and you, sir, sound like a complete asshole

>>1383429

Stｏｐ_ＦUＣＫInｇ ａｔtＡckＩｎＧ_WＷｗ.ａnolＡＷｌtAｌk.sｅ_ｒＥPlＡｃＥ_lＡWl_WＩｔh n
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In kindergarden, my class was in a trailer.

My teacher was a total bitch, and we weren't allowed to go to the bathroom. Not even during lunch or recess.

One day, I had to go really badly, so I just unloaded behind her desk.

And let me tell you something IT FELT GOOD.
It is the greatest feeling I have ever had in my life.
I just wish I had balls like that when I got older.

If I ever have kids, I'm going to make sure that every one of them shits on a teachers desk at least once in their lives.

Teacher writes on the board:
>(x+y)^2=x^2+y^2

My face

>>1384193
fucking lol. you've got to be fucking joking if you think a note from an RA will count as justification for this.

signed, former RA

>>1384144
sound fair to me

>>1384193
Well at least now you know never to live in the dorms again. Go find an apartment of your own and overcook you food to prevent further vomiting.

>>1384222

In Spanish class I never studied or did anything. I refused to do any home work and flunked every single test I got. When report cards came around I had and A+. I told the teacher there must be some mistake and she said there was a mistake and it would be fixed. I really didn't care for the class. A week later we had a pinata in class and she said the person with the highest grade that semester got to be first to try to break the pinata, which was me. I reminded her that my grade was wrong and she insisted I be first. I'm pretty sure my parents paid her off. In fact I'm pretty sure my parents paid off allot of my teachers. A year later my history teacher kept mentioning that if he were ever to accept a bribe that it would have to be enough for him to retire. He always said it very loudly to the entire class so I figured he was making a joke but he always sorta glared at me when he said it. I was naive at the time but now I realize he was talking directly to me. I'm really starting to question my education and even though I graduated high school I'm not really sure I should go to college. I never really did any of the work but I did pay attention in class, even though it was boring and a waste of my time. If I was in a harder class I would have tried more. Now I'm feeling like Billy Madison.

>>1384302
I want to befriend your parents.

>>1384302
Tell me you are joking. If my parents ever bribed a teacher (they wouldn't), then, even if it is in a class I absolutely do not care about, I would lose my shit.

>>1384302
Tell me you are joking. If my parents ever bribed a teacher (they wouldn't), then, even if it is in a class I absolutely do not care about, I would lose my shit to their face.

>>1384323
Not joking, and I haven't talked to them about it. I don't know how to go about it as I'm kinda ashamed. I never cheated on anything on my entire life, done drugs or alcohol and I'm proud of that. Now I realize I've been unwittingly cheating my entire life. For instance my final year of high school I needed a passing grade on my English exam or I wouldn't graduate. Day of the test teacher calls out sick. I thought it was kinda weird but weirder thing is the very next day early in the morning the calls our house to let me know I got an A. Weirdest thing is I gave up on the exam half way though. Didn't even finish it.

>>1384442
At least you know it is wrong.

Well the least you can do now is to study hard to make sure that you don't need bribing to get good grades.

C++ prof: "For most people gender is a read only object"

"Here we have the class Man, notice its member function money() is not in the class Woman."

He was all day with shit like that

ITT: People from shitty schools.

I had an argument with my science teacher in grade school once...she told the class that a lightbulb generated light, and that was what made it warm. I spent 15 minutes trying to explain to her that it was the other way around. She got out a giant text book from the back room and eventually conceded.

>>1384513

The light generated the lightbulb.

>>1383592
>>1383592
>>1383592
>>1383592
>>1383592


So much this. Passed my calc shit with it. Not to mention...
FREE KNOWLEDGE IS FREE.

>>1384513

My sophomore year of high school we had this walking tub of fat as a geometry teacher. He was literally huge - massive gut flowing out over his belt in all directions. He was a muffin with a beard. Anyway, he would explain a concept as he wrote it on the board but he stood only inches away from the board and wrote with his hand directly in front of him so you couldn't see past the fat and by the time you could see what he'd written he was already talking about something else. Fat Bastard.

I did have two excellent teachers Senior year though. They both recently graduated the same year (And were actually good bros since high school themselves) and were only like 24. One taught physics and was just a really good teacher for it. He would show episodes of the universe, stephen hawking, mythbusters and usually tie it in. The other taught government/politics and would constantly destroy everything coming out of the mouth of this retarded neo-con who everyone hated. Also really good at his job (he ran the debate club too and they were pretty good) and had the most epic beard ever which I aspire to cultivate one day.

My whole class (we had 20 people classmates we were with all of middle school) got 3 teachers fired. We were so bad. Basically, the teachers were horrible and had no control over us. I learned absolutely nothing. We even looked her out, and kids in our class we didn't like. Someone slashed our first teacher's tires.

Somehow, we all got into an IB program, so it worked itself out.

>>1384573
Was the majority of your class black?

I had two sets of different teachers doing each other in senior year. My AP Biology and AP lit teacher, and the Pre Calc and Mechanical Physics teachers. Not that I cared, but one of these pairs both were guys. Extra points if you can guess which.

My calculus teacher is 84 and doesn't let us use calculators. He's also a WWII vet and still thinks the cold war is going on.

>>1384587

No, actually I was the only one of any ethnicity other than German, French, English or American. I'm Asian. The rest of the graduating class was bad, but for some reason, we got stuck with all of the new teachers. 24,26, and 27. And 68 and 35, but we didn't mess with them. you know, Catholic school teachers.

>>1384608
>still thinks the cold war is going on
>Russian spies in the news
>implying the cold war isn't still going on

My 6th grade geography teacher had a huge cameltoe and never wore shoes. also she was 60

>>1384488
Ha.

I started out as a history major in college. I switched after my first semester because I hated the way it was taught. Switched to chemical engineering. Then I switched to biochemistry 'n math. Anyhow, I was finishing up a minor in history (figured why not) and I took a class that was taught by the crabbiest fem-nazi on the face of the planet. It was a class of 45 people crammed in a small room with 2 army/air force ROTC guys in it. Every day they would be on time and I would come 5-10 minutes late. She would call me out consistently and say I was being an absolute disruption to the class, or just stare at me in silence so that everyone else would, too.

I didn't give a shit, but to spite her I started showing up 15 minutes early every class. Still, she wrote me off as an idiot, so whenever I raised my hand she'd call on me, then interrupt me halfway through and contradict what I was saying to the general amusement of the class. And because I was a chemistry major she assumed I didn't know anything about history or the historical method, and didn't care, so she patronized the shit out of me. I got her back really good though. I wrote a killer research paper that she spread her wrinkled gray vag to. On the day of the final exam I walked in 10 minutes late and she said "well, at least you're consistent." Then I turned in my final early. As I turned it in she asked me "Are you a history major?" Way to write me off, bitch.

And I looked at her and said "I used to be." Then she got all red and embarrassed and said "well, the department would have loved to have kept you." I turned around and walked away and the ROTC guys started cracking up.

I graduated from college 3 days later. That was the most satisfying class of college just because of the teabagging i administered. and the grade i got for it.

bamp

English Teacher, part time clown (full time, arguably)
Learning grammar, noun spelt "nown" on the board. "Looks right to me!"

>>1384709
Sorry to hear that you didn't approve of their teaching methods. I'm a history major, but I can see how a bad professor here or there could drive someone away. Glad to hear you at least kept it as a minor, but not half as glad as I am to hear you put some conceited bitch responsible for degrading the field's image in her place. I'm also in ROTC, so I would've been right there cheering you on too, had this happened at my school.

I had this one moron chemistry in 10th grade. The test question was:

Little Timmy left his 50g iron tricycle in the snow all winter. At the end of the winter, his tricycle was rusted.

1. What is the mass of the tricycle now?

2. What should we do with little Timmy?

When he was explaining the test results, he put on the board:

Fe+H2O ->

and he was wondering why the entire class missed that problem. On the second part, I put "beat him." He just wrote "Ouch!"

We were making soap one day and he very specifically told us not to use this on our face. Guess what he did!

The moron made Kool-Aid in class beakers (the ones with NaOH and HCL) and had us drink it.

Everyone thought he was drunk, which I thought he was high.

My eighth grade science teacher said that the chemical formula for carbon monoxide was CO3.

I waited for someone to chime up but no one did, so I reluctantly corrected him, saying that the "mono" prefix indicated one oxygen atom and that CO3 would be called carbon trioxide.

He said "No I'm pretty sure it's CO3." I tried to be a little more insistent but he wasn't buying it.

>>1384882

I came from a high school where they took Hegel seriously and Bronowski/Mazlish were our textbooks. Then my first history class in college was this reductionist pre-chewed bullshit with a bunch of shitheads in it. The day I quit was when we were talking about historiography (oddly enough) and a guy said that scientific methods weren't appropriate in history "because newton's laws arent valid all the time, if you fire a ball into the air 100 times it doesnt fall the same way all the time!"

>>1384918
>The moron made Kool-Aid in class beakers (the ones with NaOH and HCL) and had us drink it.

yeah you wouldn't want minuscule trace amounts of a strong acid or base to end up in your stomach lol! yikes!

My high school was just a hot mess of terrible teachers (don't get me wrong though, some of them were pretty awesome)

For example my my math teachers from sophomore to senior year were pretty incompetent for some reason, always caught up in their personal lives but didn't do much to explain anything. My IB SL Math teacher for my junior year was especially annoying "HURRR THESE ASSIGNMENTS ARE COMPLETELY OPTIONAL THEY COUNT FOR EXTRA CREDIT BUT I'LL CALL YOUR PARENTS IF YOU CHOOSE NOT TO DO ANY" and "You look like a sad person, anon, if you need anyone to talk to I'll be here (I never took up the offer and she ended up resigning anyway because another student challenged her authority)"

What killed me most was our IB HL Biology teacher. It didn't help that a majority of my junior year she was pregnant as fuck. She basically made copy pasta powerpoints straight from the IB curriculum wiki and structured her tests exactly like the IB exam, though she expected us to memorize everything word for word from the powerpoints while the exam itself only requires that keywords are used within each answer. FUCK she was just a bag of hormones.

My senior year was worse, after having the child she still acted like a total bitch. I was also taking AP Chemistry at the time and although all the AP and IB teachers were supposed to coordinate a testing schedule that didn't interfere with each other, I still managed to have tests in chem and bio on the same day. always. The stress was too much for me to handle and I ended up consuming only bread and water for 3 weeks and my cycle was a total mess. She thought that I was doing poorly in class because I was pregnant lol.

tl;dr- math and bio sucked ass. I'm still a chem major though

>>1384963


why bromine?

also, my physics class was a lot like that.

>>1384963
>The stress was too much for me to handle and I ended up consuming only bread and water for 3 weeks and my cycle was a total mess. She thought that I was doing poorly in class because I was pregnant lol.
>my cycle
>pregnant

...

>>1384963

subtly reveals as femanon, possible picture of area very near breastal region and knows how to remove exif data.

you know what you are alright with me /sci/ lady.

>>1384993

I was stressed out so much that I decided to tell her that I was having period problems assuming that she got the hint that stress was the root of all of it. She then proceeded to ask me if I was a virgin and if I thought I was pregnant lol. I'm surprised I actually was able to pass that exam with a 4 instead of failing it completely.

>>1384978
FOR MAH BROS OF COURSE ;_; only one person I knew got it and he's also a very cool chemistry guy. He himself has a tattoo of a benzine ring on his back.

>>1384956
confirmed for enabler of the patriarchy

>>1385026

well, you forever leave yourself open to jokes about being attracted to lone pairs. or back-side attack of a bromonium ion. or being an electrophile.

On the first day of class, my high school History teacher compared homosexuality to pedophilia. Needless to say, he was a huge Christfag. Though, ironically enough, I became his favorite student.

>>1385032

if only the level of discourse was that high

My 11th grade chemistry teacher.

When we got to organic chemistry, there was a small graph in the text about how much oil is used by the top 5 or so countries on a per capita basis. She thought that per capita meant for the entire country, and not per person. I tried to correct her, but she didn't believe me. I had to pull out a dictionary and read her the definition before she conceded and even then it was obvious she wasn't entirely convinced.

>>1385145
>implying per capita matters

>>1384220

I'm pretty sure preventing someone from attending the restroom is considered torture according to the Geneva Convention.

When I was 13, I've had a german teacher and one day I told her "I think that if you change this and that, it makes more sense". She was pissed and suggested that I should leave the thinking to the intelligent ppl.

"How do ppl become intelligent if they stop thinking" I asked.

>her face

FUCKING LINGUISTS

have we had one of these threads archived yet?

love me some bad teacher

>>1385486

You're a nigger.

>>1385512

no YOU'RE A NIGGER

>>1385587
STOP IT, YOU'LL HURT HIS FEELINGS

>>1383430
ＳｔOp fＵｃkINｇ_ａＴＴACkＩNg ｗwＷ.AｎOｌAWlＴＡＬｋ.ｓe ＲＥpＬACＥ_ｌawL_wItｈ_Ｎ
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I went to a good high school where the staff was pretty cool, but there were strange substitutes here and there. In science in 8th grade, we had a sub who drank his coffee from one of the beakers. Nobody could convince him that it was a bad idea, he just shrugged off the caveats and said, "I washed it".

>>1385486