/sci/ - Science & Math

I have a strong impression that you're grossly overstating how bad you suck.
You mentioned that it's:
>no Impostor syndrome meme, it's the sad truth.
But that is exactly what it sounds like.
You're probably just fishing for compliments, so I'll give you one: the brighter your metaphorical flashlight, the darker your surroundings.
Pic related, you're at "D", which is just barely above "A".

>>12147098
Sounds like imposter syndrome
It will go away when you enter a career and have been doing it for 1 year or 2

>>12147098
Sober up and maybe have some soda or a hot chocolate or something dude.

>>12147140
dude i WISH.
But accepting what you say would be going full cope. Yes, it's true that the more you know the less you know, but fuck, it's like i wasted 3 years of my life, i should have come out of it with some knowledge, basics, experience... i'm like a malfunctioning filter, everything passes through me, i remember things for a week, then it's like never having opened those books.
I want to be knowledgable so bad, i would like to have a balanced and well-rounded instruction, and yet can't focus on studying and remembering things it's so frustrating.
How can i into research if i'm clinically a mid-wit?
>>12147154
i would give a leg to work right now, but a BS in bio is useless here and will have to go for a Msc.
But i don't know if i'll make it through this time, i had it easy before.
And i'll have to deal with the fact that i'm most probably not suited for what i want to do, and settle for some lab monkey position, i won't mind if it makes all this stop.
I feel like i'm racing against everyone in the world.
>>12147187
I'm as sober as one can be...

>>12147207
>I'm as sober as one can be...
Okay, I see, hmmm...
Change of plans, try getting drunk then

>>12147214
I live with my parents, it's not like i'm not a loser in other aspects of life

>>12147098
people like you make me sick to my stomach

>>12147230
why

>>12147224
Get on my level faggot, I lived with my parents until literally a month ago and I just graduated like three months ago. If you have a thick blanket, you can open beer cans under it slowly and the noise will be muffled. Put the empty cans in your school backpack and throw them out the next day or two days. Tall boys increase efficiency.

Alternatively, for truly max efficiency, just keep a bottle of your liquor of choice hidden in maybe a drawer or something, go to the kitchen, pour yourself a glass of orange juice or juice/soda or something, take it back to your room, drink half of it, and fill the other half with liquor. It will just look like you're drinking juice to whoever walks in your room, and it's completely silent.

Believe me faggot I'm a bigger loser than you. My problems aside though, you're not in a rational state of mind. It's not normal to get so bitchy and emotional about something so trivial, which is why I assumed you were drunk. If you have a strong resume and have the social skills to land interviews/get into grad school, then there is no reason to fret about anything. Which is why I recommended alcohol. It's an easy way to forget about stupid shit.

Or maybe just, like, I don't know, go on a walk or something.

>>12147230
>>12147241
Is it really a mystery?
I've met too many people like you: people that busted ass, made it through, deny themselves satisfaction by some arbitrary benchmark, and then proceed complain about it.
Internally, every expert doubts their own competency, but we HAVE to power on, through every checkmark, regardless of whether or not we're ready for it.
Limp-wristed, defeatist bitches like you, however, make it harder for all of us by externalizing what the rest of us keep inside for good reason.

>>12147247
>If you have a thick blanket, you can open beer cans under it slowly and the noise will be muffled
haha i smiled imagining someone drinking under a blanket
>Believe me faggot I'm a bigger loser than you
i doubt it, are you mediocre at literally anything you do? Even at your so called "passions"? when you had all the resources like money and time to work on your hobbies or anything else?

I once tricked my mom into buying a vodka bottle, i'll go make me something. The point is, i can't get drunk or my parents will notice, they are so happy for me and all, the last thing i need is to disappoint them.
But i'll follow your advice and drink some, it won't solve anything since i have this feeling since i started uni three years ago but thanks anon.
>>12147270
that's a nice motivational post anon.
But i don't see how people struggling with themselves make it harder for the others, if you could elaborate further... i think it's very interesting.
See, i've never talked about this with anyone, and i don't know what goes on inside others' minds.
I internalize everything, and on the contrary, i believe that if i could talk about it to someone i would be relieved. Why do we need to keep this facade? Can't we seek some help and consolation from people who are close to us, for once? I think not doing that is what makes me a bitch to be honest.

>>12147270
>>12147314
You did well in your degree program, but many who did worse than you will nonetheless go on and become experts in their field.
Put yourself in the shoes of a mediocre student, reading or hearing their superior coeval with a second honorous dismiss his achievements as worthless, and imagine how he views his own achievements in comparison.
Yet, the mediocre student continues to struggle.
You've taken the time to share with anonymous strangers your insecurities and that's fine, I hope I was able to help you.
But you see, you must maintain the "facade" in the hopes that someone even better than you maintains his facade, the same way someone worse than you is grateful you maintained your facade.
What results is an unspoken agreement amongst experts: that everyone should maintain their smart guy act for the sake of everyone else's sanity.

>>12147098
As someone with a PhD in biology, I can safely say that Imposter Syndrome is persistent and sticks around for your entire career. Publications and awarded grants can help build confidence that keeps it at bay. Keep pushing yourself.

>>12147406
yeah, you are right, lamenting this to my peers would sound pretentious and could make some feel bad about themselves.
Even though i genuinely feel embarassed about my competence level, i really hope i can restudy things and catch up with others before i prosecute my studies.
thanks anon.
>>12147443
that's terrible, but you are making me feel less lonely at least.
Thanks, i will! What's your field and job, if i may ask?

>>12147523
You are far from alone in feeling like this. For what it's worth, my Imposter Syndrome usually kicks in when I'm starting a new project.

My specialization is quantitative ecology. I'm employed as an assistant scientist of conservation ecology at a research institute affiliated with a major US university.

>>12147559
Nice, I dig all the field work involved in ecology.

I wish I could make a living out of sampling things around the world, would be a dream job.

>>12147098
>i live in fear to be asked by my friends some very basic bio facts and being speechless
Lmao you should only live in fear that a boss or professor will ask you something you don't know, and it is probably their fault if you don't know it.
Whenever someone asks me something about something in my field that I don't know I just say "do I look like a search engine?"

Not even going to read all that garbage.

You're graduating, who cares how it "felt" along the way. Get the fuck over it, and get a job.

That's what Uni is for. A job. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Once you have a solid job, maybe then you can stop to consider other things like fulfilling maslow's hierarchy.