/sci/ - Science & Math

>>11340257
why would you wanna quit this fantastic life? eh..? eh..?

no you probably got some brain damage.

>>11340257
You need to actualise your fantasies. Part of the fantasy should be how you would achieve the fantasy.

>>11340257
Kike explanation is that you're a narcissist, but you could try talking to a depth aka analytical aka jungian psychiatrist since maybe your brain is saying you can do better than you current plan.

DK effect works the other way around / imposter syndrome.

Get some pure math under your belt for confidence.

>>11340344
not narcissist, op is aware that he is fantasizing and not forcing it onto others, he isn't claiming he is exceptional, only wishes he would be.

>>11340257
seems like you are just very introverted or at the worst case a bit schizoid (not disorder though, you are functioning in society, able to study/work etc.), you are in medical school, you probably know more abot DSM than most people on this board

If you feel really impaired by it just talk to trained specialist.

Read Rousseau's second discourse so you learn to channel your amour propre for good things.

>>11340257
>Is there anyone way to leave this permanent loop of fantasies other then working?

Drinking, but then it's a downward spiral instead of a loop. So "no", which is why the system is set up so that you'll be working most of the time. Workers don't think you see. Workers also don't questions things that are normal, they work because the follow their fellow lemming normies. I think You should rather "do you" and if it works then fuck the rest of them. What are they gonna do about it?

>I'm getting too old for this
>i have no friends or relationships. I'm getting too old for this, yet whenever i'm amongst people in a non work setting i just can't wait to get home set up some music and get caught in fantasies.

When you actually get old this is normal. That is unless of course unless you are a normie who has kids and a wife who soaks up your free time and drags you into it. Having to deal with retards other than yourself makes you dumber by virtue of associating with them. When it's just you, you are the Owner. When it's not just you, you are the CEO.you pretend to be dumb, they pretend to be smart and vice versa.

>I'm not nearly smart or productive enough to achieve any of this
Neither are like, 7 billion other people on this planet. Get in line.

>>11340257
Cure herpes.

>>11340257
So you're stuck on loops of thought, because reality isn't good enough. Thinking is escaping. Can't stay present. Can't be in the moment for extended periods. This is a typical male problem, rational, grandiose, ambitious, individualistic. The female is more intuitive, emotional. The reason you are thinking so much, and by the way it is not productive thinking, productive thinking is often not even recognized by oneself, rather, it hurts. You stay on these patterns because they alleviate your emotions. Rather, you are hiding completely from deep-rooted emotions, that you are not aware of. If you spend a day in solitude in darkness sitting still, they will surface, maybe as thoughts intuitively brought to your attention, maybe as a tension in your face that doesn't want to let go. It is definitely in the background all the time, colouring and diverting even your rational mind, essentially making you lie to yourself. These lies are automatically made by you, they are your reality, and they are kept because breaking the requires pain, which you avoid by thinking. You need to reach a state of mind where all your attention is completely in your body and other senses, and absolutely nothing in the mind. Keep for as long as possible. Actively search for beliefs that are not benefitting you. These are usually very hard to find, maybe needs pointing out by another experienced other person. These beliefs are created from experience usually way in the past, either large climactic experiences or frequent small nudges, amassing over time into a pattern that you construe as reality but while initially serving as protection from emotional damage, now only hinders growth. Like the balancing circus elephant.

>>11340650

>>11340257
>medical school
>curing anything ever
The fuck are you smoking? Biologists cure stuff. Doctors are glorified flowchart followers.

>>11340257
Just so you know, it's called maladaptive dreaming

>>11340650
Can you do a tl;dr, that's quite the rant

>>11340257
>Imagines what it be like to start life over with everything he's learned
Don't we all?
>Has no interest in any career, just wants to think
Become an academic then?

>>11341026
Sorry reddit not today
Read it til you get it, it's valuable

>>11340257
>i think about things when i'm not doing anything, how do i make it stop?
try killing yourself
>>11340650
>ignore the human condition, as is it not useful to you as a worker drone
also try killing yourself

>>11342295
You haven't quoted anything I've said. I've given individual advice to the OP.

>>11342405
the advice you've given OP is to enter a state of denial and repress his emotions by distracting himself with other tasks that you arbitrarily deem 'productive'
you are also doing this, which is why the themes of emotional repression and denial are so prevalent in your post: you are projecting

>>11340257
>Imagines what it be like to start life over with everything he's learned
I mean yea, BITCOIN

>>11340257
I have had the same problems as you OP, my suggestion is simply when you are alone to say out loud whatever is in your inner monologue. You will realize how silly and unrealistic it sounds when spoken. Over time you will hopefully stop doing it.

>>11342602
That is extremely far from what I've said and exactly the opposite. It makes me sad that you misunderstand so hard as to construe the exact antithesis as my meaning. Right now he is escaping by fantasizing. You don't have the experience to recognize this scenario. In fact, you are actively resisting my words because you too are hiding, it shows in your anger, how you tell us to kill ourselves, how you hook completely false agenda to me so that you can discard it. The mind, including yours, is exceedingly good at rationalizations, essentially making up very believable excuses. He is avoiding his emotions. He says it himself, a permanent loop of fantasies. That won't bring him anywhere. He needs to exit the loop. Just be aware and alone with the core of his being, with who he truly is. He needs to know who he actually is, what he actually wants.

>state of denial and repress his emotions by distracting himself with other tasks that you arbitrarily deem 'productive'
Far far from it. I want him to cease completely with any tasks that he uses to escape. Cease completely with any thought that he uses to escape.Then will his repressed emotions surface, and he can become aware of them, and feel them.

>you are also doing this, which is why the themes of emotional repression and denial are so prevalent in your post: you are projecting
I am sorry, but it is almost ironic how quickly you grab at the projection meme. All the things you attribute to me you do out of desperation. I used to be very much like OP and so I know exactly how it is, that is why I have experience and from experience knowledge, which I a trying to give to OP. I don't care what armchair psychology you throw around because of course it's visible, that's exactly the topic I'm discussing with OP! But only applicable many years ago, and now I want to share the patterns that got me to the stage after that.

>>11340400
This, read an actual philosopher instead of a bunch of retards in a mongolian puppeteer forum.

>>11340257
That's funny. I fantasize about being in medical school and becoming a doctor but I'm too stupid for any of that. You're literally living my dream

>Just be aware and alone with the core of his being, with who he truly is. He needs to know who he actually is, what he actually wants.
if you would actually understand what this means, you would know that:
who you are is nothing
what you want is nothing
at the core of your being is nothing
every action and thought is an escape from the irefutable pointlessness of existence, an excuse to ignore the inevitable cessation of your existence and and attempt to rationalize a non zero value out of zero
most people's drug of choice is to seek acknowledgement from others, but that is just as much a lie and an escape as any other path in life; once you have been tainted by the infinite expanse of imagination, the only recourse is to degenerate and forget the truths you now know are true
all it takes for your entire corporatist worldview to crumble is a two hour long big think about how everything you care for in life, you will see rot away, and your final moments will be a totally solitary singularity of pure pain and terror that will never end
the only escape from escape is death
your philosophy is laughable et al.

>>11340257
You'll never be satisfied until you do something to achieve this fantasy. So accomplish it or die trying.

>>11342809
You are putting so many words in my mouth. I know that I will die and so will everything around me. That's why I cherish it. Everything you say is about yourself, if you feel that existence is pointless I pity you. You say it's an irrefutable fact, that is wrong. It is subjective and you can't even begin to prove that existence is pointless. And I don't know why you're hung up on me being some huge capitalist, it comes from nowhere, now that is projection. I am aware of the stealth and guile of ideals, how easily they crumble. But please stop assuming you know who I am. I know my direction and I know my values, not much need for other things. Take a walk around the lake. I hope you notice what makes you spiteful.

I am so happy that we are exchanging messages, I can tell that you're beautiful and well-intentioned.

>>11342832
>I don't know why you're hung up on me being some huge capitalist, it comes from nowhere
corporatism and capitalism are not the same
corporatism is the primary dictator of arbeit macht frei philosphy in our modern time
>You say it's an irrefutable fact, that is wrong.
does a person life life in order to lose things, or to gain things? is all loss not rationalized as some sort of spiritual gain? is any loss at all, no matter the context, acceptable or comprehensible by men, or is it merely the comma before the 'but'?
is the consequence of death subjective?
i am not here to tell you that you cannot achieve happiness, i am here to tell you that your happiness can never be guaranteed, your spirit may die today, or tomorrow, or the day after; benefit and deficit are arbitrary and illusory, the greatest achievement may lead to suicide, the greatest tragedy may lead to a life of pure happiness, there is no control, there is only chaos and amnesia

>>11340257
>pic
this one hit me hard. I'm also 28.

>>11340257
Why would you WANT to quit that dream?
Be awesome! You're gonna be a doctor. You're gonna have the chance to use science and technology to conquer things that would've been incurable just 15 years ago. You curing a disease isn't just possible, it's actually LIKELY on a small scale since you're probably gonna wind up curing SOMEBODY's affliction. In fact, you might ACTUALLY be able to acquire the resources and connections necessary to study and cure a disease-not many people can say that!
Buddy, you're a rockstar. You think you're not smart or productive? You're on one of the last years of one of the hardest professional degrees on the planet. Own that. Be a frigging hero. Save people's lives. Buy yourself an expensive gaming setup when you become an attending and stream yourself playing for thousands of people. Blast your favorite music and keep daydreaming while you literally save people's lives. Go you!

Fuck pic is literally me

You need to convince yourself that self improvement is logical and worthwhile otherwise nothing will happen

>>11342908
what are you doing here mom

>>11340257

I personally chose gamedev/cgi (houdini) so fantasies are just fodder for inspired labor.

Fantasies of saving humanity are usually borne of feeling unwanted etc. You just need to internalize you live your life only and most other people would never reciprocate your effort. Do some good stuff, but first get your house in order and find some contentment, maybe some friends who are into activities you like so you keep in touch. Like Kermit would say, "wash your asshole, bucko".