/sci/ - Science & Math

You will never be a real natural science. You have no controlled experiments, you have no deterministic models, you have no predictive capability. You are a social science twisted by corporate funding into a crude mockery of the scientific method.

All the “validity” you get is approximate and half-hearted. Behind your back people mock your theoretical assumptions. Sociologists are disgusted and ashamed of you, Mathematicians laugh at your ghoulish adoption of their models in their basements.

Society is utterly repulsed by you. Hundreds of years of economic crises have allowed even innumerates to sniff out fraudulent models with incredible efficiency. Even your so-called game "theory" look uncanny and unnatural to a man. Your dependency on rational choice arguments is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a clueless high schooler enrolled in you, he’ll turn tail and bolt the second he gets a whiff of your econometrical methodology.

You will never be accepted. You wrench out a fake "Nobel prize" every year and tell yourself it’s going to be ok, yet again and again you fail to predict the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.

Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you will ditch the homo oeconomicus, you will adopt Constructivist insights from Sociology, you will have a Feminist subdicipline and you will plunge into the cold abyss of Foucauldian discourse analysis.
Your academic colleagues spite you. Relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment of being associated with you, they’ll kick you out of their buildings and give you offices and lecture halls right next to the postcolonial Linguists in a building coined after Karl Marx. Your scientific output will decay and your once lavish funding will vanish, and all that will remain of your legacy is a subdicipline of Sociology.

This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.